...

I tell people that what I like the MOST about NYC is...there is always someth5 open to get what you want to eat.

Rihanna was seen at 4am picking up $1 slices of pizza. Where else in the world can anyone do this at?

...

I'm trying to figure out and mostly understand why people aren't getting vaccinated.

I've heard from a lot of people here how this vaccine they say changes your DNA, and that years down the road if you took it you're going to be really sick. I say I rather be sick than dead.

Within a 24 hour period intake two showers. One when I wake up and one when I get off from work. The one off from work, I'm having a hard time getting to that.

It's an open dorm.style sleeping...and I can understand that some people are afriad to get naked around grown men and expose themselves like that. So, they don't take showers..not even wash their faces or brush their teeth. Its sad, but that is on them. My issues is why do I have to wait two hours after I come 'home' to wash my ass, when you have people here who don't even take showers. I meet with my Case Manager today, I will address this problem I'm having.

I dislike when someone makes plans for me when it comes to working. Case in sample. My friend here wants to work the early shift that gets him off at 1pm, which means going in at 6am. He wants that for the both of us. I told him I don't want to be part of none of that. I like my hours and what time I have to be there.

After meeting with my Case Manager, I'm going to spend at least 5 hours at the library downloading and looking into some things.

6:18am

I promise and Pray that I have a good day.

Like I said I like ALL women, even the ones who don't like he color of my skin. I can't get angry, upset at them because they don't like me for whatever eean they have, that's on them. But it hurts my heart when a woman who has the same color of skin as me says some stupid shit.

A woman told me...'We don't like it when people from New York City come to our town, it makes our town look bad.' My first reaction was to read her the riot act, but I didn't. All I told her was that I was here to enhance HER living experience.

This woman, who is the same color as me...she acts and dresses like the Club Kids of yesteryear in NYC. But here in this town, she is probably the only one who as I have seen this far, she is the only one I've seen dress like this. To me her style is old, her thinking is old. After sleeping on what she said, when I see her I have something to say and tell her.

'As far as I can see, from what little I've seen if you, from what you have said to me...you are doing nothing to enhance your own, let alone anyone else you come in contact with living experience. You probably have never ventures out in this country of ours to see and experience how other people live. You only base your life if what you see and hear online. That is sad and your like every5 else who don't like the color our OUR skin.' I MIGHT tell her this...correction, INFORM her of this.

I served and protected this country at a very young age, 17 years old. I joined the Army in 1977. Doing that, it was my college because I learned so much about myself first and then other people. I KNOW it was the best thing that this far I have done in my whole life. Serving taught me how to deal with all types of situations. I couldnt have learned that in any college. The Armed Forces taught me how to depend on myself FIRST, make decisions in split seconds and then adapt in those same split seconds when the first decision didn't or don't work out. It also taught me to hold back from 'barkig' on stupid silly people who say some stupid or silly shit also. I'm no badass, believe me but...if I have to...well, you know.

Its sad when I see or hear people who limit themselves. These same people always take the safe and easy way out, they let others go first and then they fillow5 after them because the coast is clear for them then. Not me. I address the situation, determine choices and then make a decision. This happens so damn fast it scares me.

Enough.

...

It's amazing... Guys down here 28, 35 years old with 4, 5 kids from didd5 women.

And.. if you haven't been locked up, did time...they have nothing to talk about but ONLY street and jail shit.

In fucking believable!!

...

(Started this yesterday, but shit happened, so...)

Today was a very good day. Beat I've had in a long time too.

A new employee started today at work. A Black woman, young and pretty. OMG!! She has hips with Love Handles. I don't know her name but we both snuck glances at each other, just checking each other out I guess. Another co worker told me that she has a twin who is badder than she is. I said I'm satisfied with her. And to be totally honest... I want to make Love to her as some people enjoy a good bottle of fine wine. I told myself that I owe this to myself too. No rushing up to her, slow..slow..slowly I will approach her. I don't care if she has a husband, man or boyfriend. I want to enjoy her.

Yesterday another you g lady signed on. When she saw me she was all smiles and giggles. I asked her her name she told me and I forgot it just like that. She's young, boyish figure. Which only means to me that there is room for improvement. 2gen I see her again..name, and number only to text her at first.

This place where I'm staying at they check you for alcohol content, you have to blow in a machine.At 9pm inside because I wasn't going outside any more that night. This Black woman, young..evening Staff/Overnight..woke me up at 12:30am and told me I had to come and 'blow'. I sleep naked and I thought she left, but she was standing right there. She whispered in my ear..'Let me see', so I turned around. She told me to go back to bed. Woke up the next morning today and thought it was all a dream. I can't wait until I see her again.

...

...he gets paid on Friday. On Wednesday asked to hold onto $20, told him I didn't have any change.

Today..he's eating a $1 pack of cookies when the kitchen is serving a hot ass good meal. 

I walked past him carrying hot chicken coleslaw and potato wedges for two people..me and him... But he angry as fuck still bat me. 

In front of people I asked can we talk, he says ' speak'. What kind of dumb shit is that to say. So you want me to talk infront of all these people where at the dinning room table I have some food for us to eat and to talk. He in his feelings, so I say fuck it.

...

So I click or swiped right on this woman on a Dating App. Didn't she answer me back saying I am too old for her, she's 40. But get this...

She tells me she has a 54 year old female friend who I might be interested in...cause she is cute. So I answered back forward her my cell number. The 40 year old said that I should send her a picture first and that her friend isn't interested in being a Fuck Buddy. I q sweet back how do the fuck you know what your friend wants. As far as you DON'T know your friend can or could be a sex fiend, and doesn't want a relationship what's so ever. But I sent the picture.

No SHE is interested in me. Told me I don't look 61 years old. Asked could we meet up and stuff. Told her I'm 3 days here in VA and no car. But she said she would come and get me. I told her that I am not interested in her or her friend.

One... Ladies I don't care how close you THINK you are with your female best frie d, you don't know what she really wants. So don't go and speak for her. Two.. You have to be so petty  that you want a picture first to see what a person looks like before you a tually meet them. But that's how the game(s) are played nowadays.

...

Well, someone is mad as fuck at me. I say I don't care, but I do. It's human to care.

It's like this... Not to really out a title on anyone, but I know the quality of women I use to dealing with. It's not much or that great, it's a standard that I hold myself to. A women who is heavenly into heavy drugs like Meth..naw, I pass. I don't care how good her body is. Yeah she may be working but she's working to get high. And I've been there and done that.

When I was in NYC, my friend here tells me he is missing with some fine ass White women. I get here and they are for REAL scary as fuck. Again I pass.

So last night he sees me talking to a woman in the parking lot, standing by her car. He walks up and starts talking like she is some kind of Meth Head. I had to pull him to the side and tell him to slow down and he walks away. The woman asks me is he HIV positive or something. My friend looks that bad. The woman and I talk about 10 more minutes, made plans for the day on Saturday.

I go find my friend and read him the riot act...without cursing mind you. But he doesn't get it. See he is so far into the drug he's doing that...he can't see what it's doing to him and how he's acting to normal decent people. But that's on him, not me.

Confession Time...

Okay, here is the deal...

A couple months ago a friend a good friend asked me could his little brother come and live with me. I told him no because I have a room big enough for one person. So his brother went South...South and to the place where I am at right this moment.

His little brother lives here for 6 years, something I didn't know until a day ago. All kinds of shit he got into caused him to bring his ass back to NYC...where he got into MORE trouble and moved South again.

Me being me and because we use to hand out back in the days, I became worried about him and the trouble he always gets into. With me not feeling good about what was going on with my health, throw in worrying about him..I decided to move to where he is.

Now that I'm here... Found a job on day two and others what me to work for them. Looking at my friend and he is my best friend, he looks bad. 

The place where I am is like ALL Meth, and its sad. What's even sadder is the women he considers good looking are nothing but Meth Heads. He introduced me to some of them. I tried to tell him that that is r my choice of women I'm looking for.

For 3 days I get paid in cash for 8 hours of work. That's $200 a day. I came in a Sunday VERY early morning and here it is mid week, he's asking to borrow $40 and asking me did I get paid yet.

Observations...

First things first... The town I'm in has a VERY low population, well below 50K people. Plenty of jobs here, but not enough people to work them. Where I'm resting my head is a Shelter and again I have no issues with staying in a Shelter. A Place to rest my head, wash my ass...electricity, and food and I can make do with anything else. Employment...

Yesterday morning I got up early...well my normal NORMAL time 5am and took out my laptop and change my locations on all of the employment worksites I used while in NYC. Indeed.com... I must have sent about 20 responses to ads looking for help wanted in The Food Service Industry. While I was at it, I also updated my resume to reflect my address of being in this town/city of Virginia. A couple hours later...

While sitting in the Computer Lab that this shelter has, Staff made an announcement for anyone wanting to work at $11 an hour in a Bakery Production site. Of course I raised my hand. The guy was coming by in a few minutes to pick us up, I was the only one. I made $90 for 5 hours of work and was asked did I want to work for them as an employee but the next day I will be paid cash. I had NO problems with that.

On the way back to the Shelter I checked my emails and cell phone messages. I got a voice message AND a text from Yellowstone National Park, I applied for a Cook position from September to January 31st. They scheduled me for a Video Interview on Saturday. This should be fun.

One thing I've noticed... After updating my resume to show my address for Virginia..all the places I've applied to on Indeed,ALL of them have either texted, called or remained me to schedule or come in to be interviewed. But I'm already working at a Bakery that does HUGE production. My job is to put the loaves in the plastic racks coming off the line. Believe me, I WAS a huge fan of bread, not any more.

...

This morning a little while ago I was talking with this young woman and she mentioned the TV show, 'The Good Fight'. She said it is her best show to watch. I told her that I know of a woman in Charlotte, NC who favors Cush Jumbo so much that it's scary. I showed her Cush's picture on Google. She then told me that I bet you had a thing for her and I told her yes.

20 minutes later my cell phone rings and it's a Charlotte number, it's not stores in my contacts..so I answered. It was the woman who I said favored Cush Jumbo. She told me that she has been thinking about me since her divorce became final last week. I asked what happened, she said he cheated and fathered a child with the woman. She also told me that she said out if anger... 'There was this guy that I wanted to sleep with, but I didn't want to do that to you. I came really close, so close that I wore a dress and I didn't wear any panties, it was for just this one guy.' She then asked was I still in Charlotte. Told her I was in Virginia. She then said that if I can get down there, store her new number in my contacts and she would pick me up at the bus station.

Oh, I had a strong 'thing' for this woman and she new it too. With her being married I didn't want to.press her too hard after she told me that she was married twice, but she continued to go out to breakfast and or lunch with me. She told me before she hung up that I should text her any time and ALL the time I want. I told her what I wanted and she said my panties, right. I said yes. She said well you have to come and get them off if me yourself, I'll wait.

VA!!

Want to know the good part about moving somewhere you've never been before? Meeting people you never met before.

Eight hour bus ride..ac on FULL blast, and me with only a t-shirt on. Woke up shivering.

I saw the Woman who I saw while waiting on the bus... Cut off shorts on, ass cheeks hanging out.. Pretty face, so I sat down besides her and started taking with her. She being straight forward tells me she doesn't do anything without a condom. WOW!! I got up and left to go back to my seat.

Bus arrives at my stop. It's 1:20 A fucking M, not a good sign. My ride isn't here. I told them. I told them the day before it's an isated area, not..no, NO Black people in this area, I know because I did my check online. Blue flashing Police lights...and now it begins.

Police pulled over a car in the parking lot I'm waiting in. Made him get out and do a sobriety test, he failed. They look at me and say Good Morning and asked me is there a problem. Tell them no, waiting fir my ride. They say they will sit there until it arrives. Whew!!

Ride comes, 20 minute ride to where I'm going. I'm tired and have to go to bathroom. I get there and start my process.

....

I purchased my last pack of cigarettes for $15!!

Homegirl who lives 3 houses down from is is so full of shit. NOW she tells me that she always had a thing for me...right when I walked past her with my suitcase.

Dislike Saying it This Way...

 If I like you as a woman, I will let you know. 

Sex with you doesn't have to be mind blowing, it has to be good, great and in that order. The minute...hold up. I'll give you ONE pass when you tell me no. After that, you say no again I'm not asking or saying anything pertaining to you about sex ever again.

I don't care if your little kids and even your adult ones act like fools when I'm not around you. But when I come and see you, I don't want to hear all that yelling and they aren't listening to you. Let's be real, how does that look to you being the parent. Don't even bother asking me to babysit either. If they don't listen to you, how do you expect them to listen to me.

Your girlfriend/friends are your friends. What we have is solo, between you and me. I do not want to hang out, play cards or even go to a bar to drink with you or none of your friends. I don't drink, don't care if you do... But if you can't handle drinking, don't expect me to be around for any period of time.

You say you are looking for a good man, and we found each other. Let's keep it that way.

Why...or Better Yet, How Come

 I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Both my mother % Father have passed on, they were the ONLY ones I had to account for my actions.

If I'm in a relationship with you and I all of a sudden break it off... It's not because of another woman, no NEVER that. It's because something you did over a period of time, MANY times just don't sit right with me. It depends on what you did over that period of time warrants a call from me ending our relationship. But if it's something I know you won't stop or change from doing, I'm not wasting my what little time I have on this planet telling you why. You're suppose to be a grown woman, and YOU KNOW what Fuckery you're doing.

I booked my bus ticket, leaving tomorrow night at 7pm to a State I gassed the rental car I was driving up. It's not a big city but it has big city values. No place lined up yet but.. I food a shelter where I can stay at, clear my head and start on a new adventure again. I spoke with the intake person on the phone..a Sex Offender Check had to be done. She must not have been very busy or if she was, her staying on the phone with me for 45 minutes... She asked me to email my resume to her and within an hour 3 people called me. One is as a Assistant Manger, which I'm going to go to first. I'm tired of work FOR someone when I SHOULD be having them work for or WITH me.

I figured something out too. Ladies... Though you may think some of ya'll are happy in your own bodies...you're not and it shows.How does it show you may asked. When a man is interested in you, you find some excuse to turn him down and or away. The ONLY thing some of ya'll are interested in is MONEY!! Every year I hear the same old story...'I'm going to the gym to get my body in shape for the beach.'... And ta NEVER even step nowhere NEAR a beach. What you ought to take care of is that mind of yours...like I do. But ya'll can't... Too busy 'Living your best life yet'...taken selfies with that 'red cup' or a blunt with your middle finger up... Not ready to explore other things, things you never did before. But quick to post pictures of the food you're eating and the bottle(s) of Alcohol  you're drinking at home BY YOURSELF. Oh, and another reason... Ya think men are only interested in your hands and feet, which ya'll seem to spend a shitload of money on. What about your 'Sweet Spot'? Have you let it grow wild like the Amazon Rain Forrest...because honestly you have given up on keeping it nice a trimmed just in case. NO, you  have NOT, so why even bother. But... Here comes a man you're totally interested in... But you haven't mowed the lawn in like what, 4, 5 years? You you think about cleaning things up...but all within the 50 seconds in your head, out of nowhere you turn this may down and away.

I met this woman online the other day. She's afraid to give me her number, so we chat thru the app which is bullshit. Four days go by since I've sent the message and she answers back. With me, a lot of shit can change within FOUR HOURS, but four days, come on man (Joe Biden's Voice) 

To make women I meet and like, I give them my FB page. It's me. Someone told me that women do background checks when you do that. 'BITCH, I know what I've down in the past. YOU are the one who has a problem with it, not me. But what REALLY fucks me up is when they don't want you to see their page. It's like with their cell phone number. 'BITCH, you're giving someone over in China your face and likeness to open up a Whore spot..and you're worry about little old me.' That video you did giving your..who ever a BJ...or that video you did going down on your best girlfriend who the BOTH of ya'll just clicked delete.. Well, it's STILL out there on someone's server. Thought you should know this.

...And Some Women WONDER Why Men Are The Way They Are

 I 'Know' this guy, he lives in the area close by. I see him almost every time I go out of my front door. We speak for about 5 minutes or so. The other day he asked me did I know how to download and put music on a cell phone, of course I do. He then gives me a playlist and asked me to do him 'a solid'. Okay, I do him this favor.

I returned the cell phone to him the next day. He plays the music on speakerphone, then asks me to let him listen thru my Beats Wireless Headphones. I tell him no. He asks do I have other headphones..I should have said no but I said yes. I have Earbuds. 'Can I listen thru them?' No. 'Why?' I tell him... 'I'm not trying to sound materialistic or anything but these two sets of PERSONAL Listening Equipment cost me about $450 and I will not let anyone listen to anything thru them.' This pisses him off, but I don't care. 

He's working, go to the corner store and BUY a pair of $5 headphones!! But I don't tell him this though. It made me think some.. I mean he IS working, but he doesn't have a working cell phone. I tell him I have to go...and then this women who I talk to walks up and hugs me around the waist.

She starts to curse him out...BADLY. All he says is that he doesn't know what she is talking about. She tells me she gave him $2 dollars to go and get her 'something' and he never showed back up, this was a week ago. She pulls me down the block and tells me that I shouldn't be seen talking with him because there are people who he ran off with their money looking for him. WTF!!???

This woman though.. She KNOWS I want to...well, you know but... She can never find the time to stop running her fine ass all over the place. I asked her what's she up to and she says nothing and IN the same breath asked can she hold something. Inside I'm made as fuck, so I tell her..'Only if you let me slide up in something.' She tells me that it will cost me $200. WHERE IN THE FUCK DID SHE PULL THAT NUMBER FROM?!! I mean she's has everything..face, figure and a nice voice but $200? I walk away, even after she is lowering the price as I walk.

So, I guess that's it. Women now for real have a price on their bodies. Of course not all women, I know this. But it's the ones you'll never expect who would do something like that. Of course she calls me on my cell phone and I tell her what I felt about what she said. Of course she came up with some bullshit excuse. Now when and if I see her again... I will talk to her differently.

I Told My Housemate That...

 New York Post..

NYC journalist targeted by Iranian operatives in twisted kidnapping plot, feds say

I had told my housemate that he should be careful about going downtown to demonstrations about the Police in Africa murdering people. Though he went into a 20 minute 'speech' about what the Police are doing over there, I told him he should be keeping an eye out. He asked for what. I tried to explain to him.

Though you aren't over in your country, and THINK just because you're in America, you can't be touched. That's not true. You can believe that there are people from your country who don't feel the same way as you do and are willing to cause hurt to those that go against what THEY are for.

I showed him the article this morning. Now he knows what I'm talking about.

...

 I think..no, I KNOW MORE people need to watch this guy's videos but...

But I think he somewhat holds back on what he really wants to say in order not to hurt these women's feelings AND lose people who watch his videos.

It's true though. How can a woman expect to be in a relationship that leads to marriage and she already has a child or children from a past relationship. Not only that but...she expects to pull in a man to marry that makes six figures and doesn't expect her to work EVER!!

That shit was all giggles and laughs..getting ink done on your perfect body...piercings all over your body. Did you forget that that 20, 2 year old body DOES age as you grow older, or... Or that at some point in your young adult life you want to settle down with a man, like in marriage, because of what you expect, what you have dreamed of since you were young.

I will say this... ANY man that impregnates a women before he puts a marriage ring on her finger...isn't much of a man in my eyes. I don't care how much money he makes, nor all the toys he collected. It isn't right. True, being married doesn't guarantee anything, but it's a start.

I have a friend... When I met her she was and still is a beauty but.. But the shit she put herself thru at that young age 8, 9 years ago has taken a toll on her.  I can tell she is going thru a depress state, she wants people to feel sorry for her, the way she turned out. I told her that back then I suggested that she slow down and take a good look at what she is doing with and TO herself. I told her that until she does, I don't and won't be in a relationship with her, but we will stay friends. Again, now she wants me and others to feel sorry for her. All while she has two children she has to take care of.

Another woman I know is going thru the same thing somewhat. Her boyfriend of 10 years told her that it's over and that he is moving on. This woman has five children and doesn't work. She told me she doesn't understand why he left after all these years. I told her he got tired of supporting you and some other MEN'S children and getting nothing out of the deal. You decided that you don't want any more children and he doesn't have any children and he wants one by you...but you said no. So, right now you're going thru a hurt phase but you told me you have 'other men' waiting to step up and be with you. I told her also, she needs to slow down and I bet there are people, even your friends talking mad shit about you. She doesn't care, oh well.

 

(Clears Throat)

 It's been a while, and things have changed.

First let me say, I quit my job after only 3 months of working. I have my reasons and they are valid to me if not anyone else.

I'm no Spring Chicken. I thought I could just go right back to work after 14 months of not working or doing anything close to work. No. My body told me who IS in charge.

Ling story short...I was in a lot of pain. Though I was only working 8 hours a day, I was out of the house for12 hours. I would wake up 4 hours before my shift started and it only takes me less than an hour to get to work. I would come home, shower, eat and be in bed by 6:30pm...only to start it all over again. Days off...I would wake up at 5am and not even leave the house, sleep off and on all day and still be in bed by 8:30pm. But that didn't work.

Two weeks ago I started getting these pains on the left side of my chest. After 3, 4 days the pain would shift to the right side of my chest. I had a hard time sitting up and even getting out of bed. So, I took it very easy. Now the pain is on the right side of my lower back, close to my stomach. I don't know what it is or what is causing it but taking it easy seems to be working out right for me so far. This is why...

I've made up my mind. I will no longer work a 40 hour work week when I do decide to go back to work. Not only that, I don't think it's healthy for me to be living in New York City any more. If I continue to live and work here, I will go back to the same old routine day in and day out. So...I've decided to move. I have a place in mind and I will let those who care about me know where I've landed.