The Fire in My Eyes Are Out

This would be the first time it has happened... I don't like going into work any more. Now I know what it feels like.

I know what it feels like when a man says his ex is crazy as fuck. And no, I'm not making things up nor am I placing the blame on her. She wanted to end our relationship and I didn't. She told me that I have to change...??? Change what? Crickets, no answer. 

But I've always have said that even marriage can't keep two people together and we were only dating. I told her that I wanted her back, or I asked her would she have me back. Of course she said no qnd that we can still be friends with benefits. She another one who thinks she knowa what that sayi means.

I moved on, but it's a fake moves on. I honestly think that someone said something to her to make her act a s do what she did. But then again, certain things happened to her that I didn't play any role in.

She said I wouldn't let her vent to me. I told her that the people she is angry with..she should tell them their face and nor to me. I don't know 2hat was said oe what 8t was..but I'm not going to focus on it anymore..after a few daya.

Man oh...MAN..Part Ii

Been there, done that..soany times. I could write the rules for it but I won't. I will.let you learn by your mistakes.

I always said that saying..' Rules were made to be broken' was and is true. Of asked, and I have been on Jon applications..if you could get away with something nobody knew or knows, would you? And, I always said well YES!! Like who is gonna know. But in real life terms, everyone and their mother knows and finds out. 

Take for an 'example'.. You can fuck around with female staff members and think no one knows. First, the guy who you beat to the punch,he figures it out first, then he tells everyone andike I said their mother. That's why I don't do that shit any more, it's not worth the trouble for a clue.of minutes of enjoyment.

So she said that I don't make her happy any more. I didn't know I was the one in charge of making sure you stay happy. Also, why the fuck you put that task on me if you're a miserable fuck, she isn't. It's that I notice that she has a lot on her plate and I help out as often as I could without her knowing. But like most women they turn down help. They think they can handle it on their own. And when they can't, they have to blame someone. I tried very hard to not say something about her not being happy, but me being me..I went off. Sorry, not sorry. I'm a firm believer that only I can create my happi6,not anyone else. Of I were to leave it up to others..well I would be bad off and I'm not today.

I'm still out looking for a place to live while working and not getting enough sleep. I found something but I don't have any credit, which just as bad as having bad credit. I'm not rushing this time around and accepting just anything to get out of this shelter. No, I want and have certain criteria my next place I may and rest my head will be. Guys and even some females here approached me in the sharing of a place together. Other guys..a firm NO! The women...  There's almost I go through in my head. A simple one and only one question. 'Would I want to fuck every single day?' If the answer is yes, we'll let's do this. But the answer to those 3 women who asked me was no the fuck I don't. And looks has nothing to do with it. For me it's how you dress the first thing in the morning. Same thing you had on yesterday..nasty. It only goes to show that you don't care what you look like to the world, imagine what you look like behind closed doors.

So he asked me to sell him one of the two other laptops I have. The Chromebooks battery doesn't take a charge and the 17 inch Windows base is so slow..no, I don't have one. He caught a shit fit.  Walmart had 11.6 inch Chromebooks on sale for $99  and I purchased two. One to give him. He asked why him. I said the same thing when someone did something for me,I'm just returning the favor and you do the sma.e to someone else in the future is all I ask. You'll know where and when to do it because you won't even second guess doing it like I did.

If you ask me how I am.doing, be prepared not to hear some sugar coated bullshit is all I'm saying.