....now wait just a minute

...I'm not changing a damn thing in 2013. I'm not 'stepping' nothing up, gonna continue to do AND be the same person. See, that's the problem with some people, they change for others, fuck that. I've seen in 2012 how some people show, that they have their own lives together, wen in fact, like my life, its all fucked up. Yep, screwed left, right, upside down and sideways. But who says life is suppose to be easy. I spoke with some people about shit like this. If they lost their job, it would be such a great fucking impact on their lives, that they would go into such a deep black hole depression...that they would totally end their lives. So use to 'having' and not caring about the 'have nots'. Want all the latest in fashion, cars and home improvements. Hell, you're renting, not even renting to own. One friend, she...well, I'm just waiting for that call. The call with sobs and tears that I can't even understand what she saying. And wha...

I spent Christmas Eve &amp; Christmas Day with a friend of mine. It was all good until she went in to check on her patients. Then came home with liquor and 3 of her female co workers. That was my cue to leave.</p> <p>On my way home I got a text from another female friend, she wished me Merry Christmas. Then went into that she misses me and that she was sorry she let me get away. It was what she wanted from me..something I couldn't give her. Marriage.</p> <p>All she does is work, 2 jobs and spends little time at home between jobs. She met me, like what she was feeling being with me and wanted it for the rest of her life. I'm not for marriage...only if you were to have my child, yes then. But she wasn't capable of having children, she's 60 years old. You couldn't tell by looking at her, her and her body. She looks much younger.</p> <p>Again she went into wanting me to move closer to her, finding a job out there near where she...

...some people and including myself at times, we/I don't know what I want. I am getting tired of feeling this way, but its my fault. What I've been doing lately is giving people what they want, saying what they want to hear. No more. At times I hold back from what I want to say when some one questions me, or wants my opinion. In a matter of seconds I can sized that person up and come to a decision that they aren't ready for what I have ro say. So I sugar coat it. Vinalla with sugar on it. But not any more. One woman has been looking at me strangely for a couple of days now. I figured out plus I asked her. 10 years ago she forged something, and now its coming back at her. She feels I had something to do with it. I told her what I felt cause what she did made me angry. Told her... back when you were hired, they figured they couldn't find anyone who would want to do the job you hold. They now found out that there are quailfied people out there, and now they want you out....

A little while ago I had a conversation with this woman, she started it. It was about all those children being killed. I didn't say anything, then she asked did I have anything to say about it. I told her no, it doesn't matter to me...and it doesn't. She got so angry & so mad at me, she couldn't even express it in words. I felt the way I felt, cause that is how I feel and will always feel that way. She said its because I don't have children. She says well she does & grandchildren and that affects her. How? You kids are grown, and your grandchildren are at that age where they should be taught about what's right and what's wrong. You gown kids, I told her are something all together. She said explan and since she ask, I did. Your grown ass kids are gangsters, in gangs and that is all that matters to them. Their gang is their family. Oh, but they live in your house, running shit, running shit right out of your house. They have your grandkids around th...

I can say some things that can have a person, male or female look at me strangly. You think I really give a flying Fuck? Nope, I don't. I don't and you don't live your life for others to like you. But if you're one of those that do, you're wasting your life. Up to a certain point, you live your life for the children you have; up to a certain point. But its okay if you extended that period also. This is coming from a man with no children. So, when do you start having fun? Better yet, did your fun endibg days end when you became an adult. An adult who has responsibilites. Car payments, student loans, mortages..you know adult things. Add long your children that you have to look after, care for. To top it all off, you might be a single parent; which you enjoy, but its hard at times cause the father isn't in the picture. Or, he can and is in the picture, but let's face it, he can and IS an asshole. You're doing it all by yourself, the fun days are over. NO T...

This week's Newsweek front page cover talks about something indept that I always had questions about. When I go to ask, not questions those that I think would know, I get these strange looks. Looks of who am I to question the Bible. I'm not questioning the Bible, I'm questioning those that wrote or had some say so of putting this Book together. The article questions...well, if there were really 3 Kings present. Its states it was a cave that the Son of God was born in. And among other things... I can't even explain, jsut google the aricle and read. I have always said that Jesus didn't write the Bible, and its a know fact. The Bible was written by those who knew of Him and his ways, His works. But this was written how they saw what they saw, and we all know how easy it is to embelish what we clain to see. Yeras later who is to say that what we say and what that person had written isn't, wasn't true. Bring this subject up to God Fearing, Church Thumping, Alw...

You know how some people try and one up you, like they think you don't know shit cause you don't speak about them. Yeah, those type of people. Or, how some people who don't even know you, but you have to deal with them on a daily basis, think cause you're a 'grunt worker', that you don't know anything about whats going on in the world today. Well I have them know that I.... I'm well aware of shit. I tried to think of a better word, but I write what I feel. I read about 3 newspapers a day, and countless magazines daily also. I may not understand sometimes the situation, but give me a couple of hours and I will 1, know what's its about, and 2, give you my motherfucking opinion. On people, like the ones who say our President, the people in Washington won't let him do the things that he want to do. Hell, The President is only the man who signs the checks, and takes the blame when shits fucks up. My opinion, it may have looked like he was happy afte...

Now I know what I want. It came to me as I was smoking a cigarette...a moment of clarity. WOW !! I know just who I am, this is amazing. It breaks it...I broke it down to this. I am a companion. Well what the fuck is that? Its like this, this is how I see myself. I like beautiful women, the beauty in a woman; I judge, is not by only her looks. In fact looks doesn't even come into play. If the woman has herself together and is managing her everyday life with little to no problems hassles, she is perfect. If she wants a man in her life, but not all up under her...even better. If she wants to explore her sexual side of herself and have no problem; but is timid at first, even more better. But I will not be kept as a kept man. Not unless there are some ground rules. One, I have to work, keep a job. If you want me to stay at home and take care of things, we have to establish what those things are. I'm not your maid, I won't cook and clean. Like you come home from work on your da...

She told me the night before to meet her at 12 noon, then today she called and said she forgot that she was going to Mid Day Mass, so the time was switched to 1:15pm.  How can you forget about that, but its understandable. I got there about at a quarter to 1, not too early or too late. One thing I dislike is being late for anything. Well at 1:25, I was beginning to worry, and then my cell phone rang. It was her and that she was leaving the house now, she went home to change first. Said she would be there within 15 minutes. Ten minutes to 2pm she calla me and ask me where am I at. I could tell she was getting nervous by her voice. Either meeting me was making her nervous, or I was reading her voice all wrong. Told her that I was out in front, by valet parking, since this was a place that she comes to all the time, she should feel at ease, plenty of people around. For 10 minutes were trying to find each other. This place has to entrances and I was way on the other side, she walked to...

I know what I want, and what I get and what I'm looking for are totally all different. It takes a smart person..no a person with a brain to realize this. I take what I get..for now until.... ...I see other wise. Sorry if I harp on the dating scene a lot. What else do I have to talk about. Right now I'm on my way to meet this woman for the first time. Thru emails and one phone call which I made, after she told me to call her, I got to hear her voice. She gave me her number a week ago, but I told her I would only text her, call her if she tells me to. She did tell me. background noise. That noise you hear when you're on the phone for the first time...should be quiet. Or, some music playing. In her background it sounded like chaos, but all it was was a TV playing...LOUD. In mine, quietness, until the land line rang. I had to go downstairs and meet some one dropping something off. Initial conversations are tricky, you have to give a person, well both aprties equal talking t...

...they are mine, I own them. Others my have the same ones as mine, but these, the ones I make claim to are mine's only. I don't know what it is about death, I don't fear it. Nor am I ready to take it head on. I know it will come, like costumer, to my counter, ready to place an order. But this order is final and to go. No problem with Funeral Homes, seeing a dead body. My father passed away 2 years ago, I loved him, but that wasn't him in that casket for viewing. The Burial. When my Grandmother past away, I didn't go to the burial, I was afraid, also I was young. That was my Grandmother and I won't be seeing her anymore. I didn't want to see her placed in a hole in the ground, in the dirt. We as kids played in dirt, mud. I know longer at that time saw dirt as something to play in. But now, I still don't know about death. My mother is in the hospital, that is what bought this post on. I have 4 younger siblings, 2 sisters & 2 brothers. When my fathe...

I know this woman since we, since I was 14 years old. She's 2 years younger than me and we always had a thing for each back then. I mentioned her in eralier post I think. So we got back in touch with each other, a little over a year ago. I'm suppose to be her man...whetever. Its been since the beginning of Summer since the last time we saw, held each other. One of her sons, the eldest just got out of prison. The other son, who both are living with her, is jealous of his brother, cause he is getting all the attention. He spazzes out on his mother, she told me over the phone that the next time he does, she is calling the police. I don't blame her. Now is vacation time and I'm cover for people in the kitchen. I have to be at work at 7am to 2, 2:30pm, 5 days a week. I catch the 4:51am bus, the 5 train, get off at 180th Street & wait for the 2 train, which I know she is on. I sit right next to her. Ride it with her to 72nd Street. We both get off and catch the 1 train,...

I've notice something; as I do almost every single day that I awake and breathe. I know I do it, but I'm unaware that I do it, surely some one will point it out to me. But..people don't always mean what they say, they don't always do what they do too. And we all know that we as people, we can be real assholes. Bear with me on this one. She met a guy online and he claimed he was single, no children. Lonely and being of early 50's in age, she is and was looking for some one to call her own. Some one to spend those lonely cold nights with. After 7 months of their first meet, she like what he had to offer. Told her he loves and care for her. He moves in with her, she offered, he accepted. He doesn't work and since now that she is head over heels in love with him, he doesn't have to. A year goes by, she does everything for him. Lets him borrow her car, gives him money and buys him clothes. He doesn't have to ask for it, she gives it to him. Then one day it ...

...yep I do. Sometimes I think maybe its just me, and am I thinking wrong about situations. Maybe my opinions; the way I see things, view them, maybe I've been wrong all along. Then again, Hey I'm entitled to my own say so. I don't drink, well only on New Years Eve and 1 glass of wine on my birthday. But I use to when I was younger. As I grew older, I didn't like the way drinking made me feel the next morning... hell, the next afternoon, so I gave it up. All to say, you won't find me going into a bar to drink. Oh I would, but I'm spending about 15 minutes, or there to meet some on. Most of the time I would call and tell them that I am standing outside. I don't understand that whole scene though. Go into a place where drinks are way overpriced, standing so close to one another...and the smell along with the noise. I know people don't only go to bars and pubs just to drink, they go to socialize, meet new people. My say so. There is nothing like throwing ...

Lately, I have been thinking about a lot of things. And, they have been weighing heavly on my mind too. Nothing that I can't handle, but I just question things and people. Like... I hope you aren't the type of person who likes having control over others. You know what I mean right? The type of power that can break a person soul. It can drive them over the edge and sometimes that person might not be able to recover. I dislike people who are like that. I work in the Food Service Industry and I see a lot of that going on. I try, and I try very hard to keep my mouth shut and stay out of it. But I can't. ..if you trade phone numbers with the opposite sex, it doesn't mean that they want to just dig your back out. But you have to admit something and this is the basic knowledge of things. There was something about that person that you felt that you wanted further contact with even if it's only just to be friends. Don't get me started on that 'friends' bit ei...

.So, The President has made it for another 4 years. It wasn't because of my vote...cause I didn't vote. I had and still have my reasons. Here's to all the people present & future, who will have something to say when they ask me and I tell them I didn't cast a ballot. I gave all my votes for ALL the up coming elections back in 1977 at the age of 17 years old. May 31st, 1977 to be excat. That was the day, month and year I joined the Army. While all those males qnd females of my age bracket were either planning on their 1st year in college or in the work force... I served my Country. Matter of fact, dropped out of High School to go and serve. Two years after the war in Vietnam ended, I enlisted. People say that the War was over, but no, it was just beginning. People forget about The Cold War, the one that damned nearvhappened over in Europe. The one where men & women of my age were being sent as a duty station...West Germany. But I'm not goning to get into t...

Okay, some friends introduced me to this woman. She is White, I have no problems with that, none at all. Its her friends and family that has the problem. She was hurt 5 years ago really bad. She sued, and her money came in; with monthy AND yearly payments. This all happened during our dating phase and she was the one who decided that she wanted a relationship. Since I'm single, hell why not. Then she told me about the money...more money I would have seen in TWO life times. I told her that we could stay friends, but she didn't want that. She wants me to look after her, and she would take care of me. Her family is going BONKERS over her decision. But she won't have it any other way. She said she waited her whole 43 yearsw of life for a person like me. I like her a lot. And yeah..sex is amazing. But I'm expecting after a couple of months she will toss me aside.  Right now I'm going to meet her, she wants to take a limo upstate to a nice Bread & Breakfast, spend t...

I just gave it that title cause that was the first thing that came to mind. If you noticed; and I have the foggiest idea half the time of what the fuck I'm talking about. But I speak from the heart and I say whats on my mind. So...now I have to get some shit off my chest once again. Employers..yeah you know who you fuckers are. You're the asshole who tries to show all of New York City...'yeah, I'm ballin', I got dough cause I can open up my open cafe or food shop'. Well I'm here to burst your fuckin' bubble. half...no, 3/4's of you don't know what the fuck you're doing. see you figure cause you have mon ey and you hire some expensive ass dietician who cre4ates your menu; a menu in which you TRY and stand out among the rest.. You have it all WRONG !! Or maybe I have it all wrong. I think you're in the business for all the wrong reason, but I could be wrong again. I know you want to turn a profit, who doesn't... Fuck it, why bother....

I don't know..maybe its just me. Doubt it if its just me who feels this way, but... how come all the good women are in messed up realtionships. Let me rephrase that..what are they in what they 'say' are bad relationships. Woman A, she is searching for love. I mean she shows love to the man she is in one with. She overpowers him with love. Its not love though, its great sex. See, she loves making love. Enjoys bringing pleasure to her man. Her problem is that after a while the man startsh answering her texts in one word answers, which drives her fucking crazy. She shows me the texts, and I told her that she is way too much into him and he knows this. She's off to Mexico, Mexico City to get butt implants of all things. Told her she has to start loving herself before she can start to love any one else. Woman B..young, 19 yrs old. Has big plans for herself in life. I asked if she had a man and she says... 'yes, a real pain in the ass, gets on my nerves, a big baby....

First things first. I was watching the Fox News Channel yesterday morning. You know they were talking about that 'Sick Fuck' out in the Mid~West. All I can say about that is...he did what he did for a reason. Guys, people like that do shit like that for a reason; of course. Some just do it JUSTh to be doing it, but he had a reason. Like I could care less than a fuck about whtever his reason were. Don't kill him, just put he away for life. Heavily sedated...the whole nines. A friend of mine, female was telling me about one of her female friends. In the past, my friend was, and continue to do so; tells me that she doesn't want me, I'm not her type of man. This morning my friend expanded more on that topic. See, it seems her friend; who is an American, don't like messing with American men. She only deas with men who were not born here. My opinion on that is this. American men are not putting up with her bullshit, so she takes advantage of those men not born here. ...

New hire, she's so happy. At first I didn't understand, now I do. She's from Brazil. Now guys you know how we picture Brazilian women right, well she is JUST like that. The only thing and its no biggie, she is older, say mid 30's. Sun tanned and beautiful white teeth. Has neen in NYC for 3 months going to school, but her classes are English as a 2nd language. She speaks English well...and she is so happy. I'm happy for her. Worked in bars in her country and she wanted more out of life. Don't know how she made it here nor what her story is. Too early to be questioning her now, let's see if she makes it first. But here is the thing that I know from past experinces working with women like her. Some customer is going to come in and offer her a better paying job doing something totally opisite of this. This person is going to use her good looks and charm in their establishment to further their business. That's all well understood, you have to find the right...

I've been working since 1973 at the age of 13. I sold Sunday's NY Daily news when it was 30 cents. I started out with a dollar and after I finished, I had over $35. Not bad for back then. </p> <p>In Junior High School, I got my Workibg Papers. I worked for a friend of my mother's, in his grocery store, watching the vegetables and fruit outside. On the side, I went to the store for family &amp; friends of family. They gave me whatever they wanted which was nice cause I was really doing it not expecting pay. During the Summer, I got a job working in The Summer Youth Program. I worked for The Department of Relocation. That year..'The Bronx Was Burning', many fires. The agency I worked for, inspectore went to burned out apartment building and determined if it was safe to live in. If it wasn't, city palce you in a Hotel that was located on The Grand Concourse. Money was slip into my pocket to help persude me to send your family there..corruption rapi...

I can't lie to ya. I like women. Its boadering on I LOVE women, all types, shapes and sizes. I won't turn a woman down. My thing is that everyone deserves loving. I'm not trying to 'love' all women all the time, but you know what I mean. Like guys; cause women say we don't know what we want, they don't know what they want too. So, that's where conversation comes in. I have no set 'rap' for any women cause no 2 women are the same. I don't point out what every guy sees and tells her over & over again. Wait, I do, but I move on. On move on to what really drew my attention to her. Sometiimes I could be a little bit too straight forward, but I'm being honest. To be continued....

I had a Twitter account. It was quick..fire off what I had to say in 140 letters. But I found myself 'writing' to it. Where as I should have been placing it here. The only. Thing about placing it here is...I, like millions of others, WANT to be heard. I had 93 followers and recently; I guess they like what I've been saying, have been respondibg to me. What made me delete my account was..Twitter started getting freaky on me. What I mean by that is this. I don't know who wants to receive sms's to their phone whenever some one they follow, post. I know I don't. So I set it up so that I don't. But as of last night it started doing it on its own. I tried everything Googled said to do, and even went to the site on the web, but it didn't work. With my phone, which the model they don't make anymore, my phone has very limited memory. So some of my important text wouldn't go thru until I deleted and clear the cache of the phone. Time consuming and bothers...

Sometimes I take a moment, sit back and see just where things are headed. Just some thoughts that have crossed my mind lately. Our President, just did somethibg that I think is really dangerous to our Country. I don't know what he expects the out come would be, but I think I know where he is heading. What better way to get a serious count of all the illegal aliens in this country, than to grant them somewhat of a free pass. Think about it. The government will now know where some of them are at. Its just nothing but a matter of time before all are accounted for. A lot of teachers are being bought up of charges of...well you know. I don't know what's going on in our education system here in NY, but it's crazy. I say, there should be an age limit in which you are allowed to teach...PERIOD !! People are so phony nowadays. With the internet people put on that they or this, when they really are are that. Me, I'm the same way online and off. Don't believe me, well ...

MichaelChappell

(This was 'suppose' to be an earlier post)...I don't know, maybe. Age has nothing to do with it either. She is 59, turns 60 in lest than 2 weeks. But if you were to see her, as I have seen her, you couldn't tell. I met her online, emailing and I think I talked to her one time on the phone. She's Jamaicain and I had a hard time understanding her on the phone. I'm just me and will always be me. I've learned from a very early age to let people know what you want. Let them know what I'm about. Not serious, just being human, trating others as I want to be treated. Women say thay want a man that's drama free, baby mama free. I set my own rules and live by them. Again, nothing serious..just have fun really. Most women expect a man to pamper them, take care of them. If you're expecting that from me....well, don't. You're a grown as person, take care of yourself. Another thing. I will not be a father, daddy to your kids. Why should I. That will ...

There is always that one person, that one employee in every workplace that's just a complete asshole. I mean, assholes, they come in all kinds of style and flavors. But the one I'm talking about is the one who tries to shine when the suits are around. In my case, the embrodied chef coats. It doesn't help when the Supervisor tells you straight off that that one person is crazy. That's only tellibg me, that you as the Sup, is very afriad of him. He even went on to say that me and this guy can't work together. That I will work t.he assembly area AND the kitchen when this guy is off. See. He thinks that I have a problem with him, which I do. Its how he works. Out of an 8 hour work day, he works about 3 hrs. That's not good. Other coworkers on the team have a problem with him also, he work ethics. They question me like what's goibg on with him. Instead of asking me I tell them, ask him. They too are somewhat afraid of him. Well the Excutive Chef put a nail in i...

Lesboisum...is that a word? Its sounds...well anyway. At my work place, it seems that they hire a lot of females like that, not that there is anything wrong with it. This girls/women are more in the sense of that they really think they are guys. A discussion was bought up about how they treat their girls friends better than any male can. I told them this... It seems that as a female who is trying to forfill a role as a male, that you have something to prove. I don't know what it is, but you could still be into women as a female, but could you at dress like a female. I mean look at you, as a male does, your pants hanging off your ass. That doesn't look pretty. Another thing, your relationships are with females who have kids, and you're trying to play daddy. I be damned if I, as a male will support another man's kid, but that's your choice. I asked has they ever been in a relationship without kids involved, nope. So its reason to believe that they is a lot going on ...

One is 39 years old and I have know her for almost 20 years. We have been in a relationship for almost 3/4's of that time. Been through hell with her and she has been there for me when I was in my times of need. She's a quiet person, doesn't hang out at night except with me on those rare occasions when she wants to go out. She isn't excalty a Jehovah Witness, but she walks in their steps. She drew the line when she was part of the Church when the Elders stated that she had to date within her Religion. Every New Years Eve for the last 6 years I have brought in The New Year with her. I've grown to her style and way of cooking which is healthy. Even though she sleeps in her own bed when I spend the night or weekends with her, our sex life is great. She has told me 'no' a total of 2 times in the whole time that I've known her. She is perfect in my eyes. The other one is 47 years old. I've knew her when I was in 8th grade in Jr HS. She lived in my buildi...

This is the view from her new place, her apartment. Was there for about 3 hours, went shoppibg with her for curtains for all the rooms. Tried talkibg her into 'breaking' the apartment in, but she said that there was no bed. I told her that's why us older men love younger women, cause they know how to get down even if there isn't a bed avaiable. Now she's a littlw bit worried cause that's what I want and she doesn't feel comfortable doing that. Oh well. Soh I went into the livibg room and sat down, took out my Kindle and started to read. She comes in and says that's what she likes most about me, that I'm always reading something. I told her to turn around, she did. I told her that from what I read on her ass, its says that its all mine.

Yesterday, I went to a childhood sweethearts apartment in which she is living with a friend. The friend and her husband were out of state, but the daughter, boyhfrind and their child were there. My friend was babysitting. First off, her reaction to haven't seen me in 3 weeks was cold. Hey, some things came up and I had to take time to even them out. My business is none of her business. I went to kiss her, but she turn her cheek, told me that I was under punishment or something like that. She wanted to know where I've been at, told her nowhere just somethings I had to straighten out with family. So for 2 hours I sat there makibg small talk and she was really cold towards me...no problem. The kid parents came back home. Intorductions were made and they started having they're own conversations with out me. Me, I went online with her laptop. I think inlformation is a key to everythibg that I do, I want to know about everything. I logged in to a news feed and they said that Wh...

Listen I know that God didn't grace us all with a bodacious body. Some of us if not all had to work to get them that way. It takes time, lots of time really. Then you have to maintain that shape and some of you are getting stressed out over maintaining. Say all of this to say this this.... I accept you for who you are, it you who can't accept and realize that what you do to your body you have to be able to live it for the rest of your life. I'm involved with this woman who si so ashamed of the way her stomach is, that making love to her is either with the lights off or in one position. I told her that I accept all of her, she has the problem with not accepting herself. Her not accepting herself messed up a what would have been a nice night/day spent. But wha she do? She blames me, then herself of a mis communication...BULLSHIT !! So, I told her the next time I see her, she is gonna strip down to her birthday suit with me stayibg in my clothes. And everytime I come over, s...

I've notice lately that I have been talking and admiring women more in my age bracket. It has nothing to do with their body type but I do like large women. Its conversations that I have been having with some. This one women, 54 years old, is like a female me in a way. This women told me just what she likes in bed and all. I didn't have to ask her, she just came out and told me. All along I'm sayibg to myself, I want her. She has a boyfriend, told me that he doesn't satisfy her in bed, not use to getting what she normally has had duribg her 17 year relationship which ended cause he was cheating on her. She offered him her WHOLE body, if you kow what I mean. She asked me about me, and I told her. What she wants is what I can't offer her. She wants me all to herself. I told her I'm not ready or will ever be ready to settle down with just one woman. How can a women, peole have and be around that same person day in and day out? Sex would not exsist any more between...