....now wait just a minute

It started off with not being able to get the Sunday local newspaper like I wanted to. The lady behind the counter told me she don't know 2hy they stopped delivering the paper, they just did. So that was that. Then..against everything i stand for, I decided to go shopping JUST for food for that day. I wasn't hungry or anything but I wanted a meal, lunch and dinner that I could cook. See, I haven't been eating the food at the shelter because most of not all the food is donated. And do ared food is either expired or something that's meant to be thrown out and the end of the day. I've been to two of the main, well these two supermarkets, Food Lion and Krogers...to me they are and seem ghetto. Overpriced and from what I say some if not all off brand names that I haven't seen before. Besides, I don't trust a supermarket that doesn't have a fresh seafood department. I went to a supermarket that some.people told me that I was more accustomed to..' Martins...

I know right? This fucking guy, he post and then..WTF?!! I kept telling myself in the part that having sex with a woman who is nearly half my age isn't it wasn't good for me. I had my health to think about..so I thought. Kept telling myself that and young woman would have far too much energy and would probably put me in the hospital. Or, that I wouldn't live up to her or even my own expectations. Cough, cough BULLSHIT. FELLAS, get yourself a nice young woman who hasn't been out there and who has a decent head in her shoulders. Yeah, some mornings after may be rough in you/me..but it's worth those sore and aching bones. Some if the things that's been going on the past couple of days, maybe a week and a half. Work..my job. I Love it! It's fast paced, always something to do and it's different every single day. But what throws me off is..the different 'things' and what people go thru when they are not at work but bring that shit to the job. Work is s...

I remember lugging mines on the 4 or the 5 train to go to High School, High School of Art & Design. 59th Street train station... Walking past the McDonald's and seeing that 'Fab Five' grafitt ''Throw Up', small but powerful, it made a statement.

See... I never thought about her in that way until he mentioned it. Put that thought in my head, and I could see already that he was at the end of whatever he thought was the beginning. And it wasn't me who made the first move either. Like I said, there was a thought...but the move she made towards me...well, I couldn't back away from.  Don't believe that shit that men don't think and if they do think, they think with their other head. I thought..and I thought some more...and I asked her does she know what she's doing. The language on her, straight to the point. Told me what he wanted and expected of me. When I got back home, she started texting me, telling me her true feelings. I guess it's easier for her to express herself when not face to face with me. All that crap about women not asking for penis pics is just that, crap. Because she wanted 'some', but I couldn't send any, wasn't in the mood. Wants me over for dinner next week. Told her don...

I think my cell phone is alive and is listening in on me on the down low. Laugh if you want to, but some star he things have been happening and it affects my day starting early in the morning. I check Google News every morning around 5, 5:30. Well this morning...it said 'Somethings Not Working'. Okay, it wasn't my fault, not in my end. I didn't want to dig through my backpack and find my other phone that doesn't have a data plan AND my portable wifi hotspot...bullshit Google, you're suppose to BE working. I shouldn't have to do anything.

The other night one if the guys here left his phone in his 'cousin' car. He use my phone to call his girl who lives next door to tell her to come back with his phone. This guy last night told me that his cousin 1ho is a female is throwing her boyfriend out of the house, and she lives with her brother. I asked why and he told me he can't speak on it. I let it go. I'm sitting in my bed and my phone rings. I don't know the number so I don't answer. I get a text... It's from this guy here who used my phone, it's his girl. In the text he asked was her boyfriend around, texted back he's right here. I told the dude that his girl is texting me. He told me to block her because he did the same thing. Something isn't right, I don't block a damn thing. Her next text..was explosive. That he, slept with his cousin, she walked in in them and stood there for a couple of seconds watching. I don't relay to this dude what she text to me but he gets angry be...

When I first arrived here in Virginia a friend introduced me to this woman... This woman from what my friend told me, was and is his girlfriend. She told me that he was her side piece. I thought she was joking, but it was true. Weeks go by, he does something fucked up and she cuts him off. I see her every now and then and then one day she honks her car horn and tells me to get in. We talk as friends for a while and then she drops a bomb. She wants something with me. I tell her I have to think about it. We continue every now and then to chat face to face, but text more and more. Yesterday we go to this park, we gwt out and walk around, then we sit in these benches and she tells me details of  what she wants with me. I told her okay I'm in. It's been three weeks and still THAT hasn't happen. I think she Friend Zone me. No biggie, she fun to be around.

Since I consider Friday the start of the weekend, I told myself on Thursday night that I was going to have a GREAT weekend. I did. Yes!! The weekend was a weekend that I'm so use to having. Almost..almost everything went the way I had planned it. I just wish that people if they say that hey are going to do something, they do it or.. Or they let you know that they won't be able to. What most people do is not even both to text and let you know they changed their minds. Then they call you and act like nothing happened, like..didn't we plan something a couple of days ago for a few hours ago? What the fuck happened? What I thought was this person was5 even interested in me..when it turns out that she was and is and that she just didn't know how I felt. Though I had her number for a while and she did text me, it was for something else. So when I asked her 'whata up', she took it for THAT.  She tried to get away for a couple of hours to just see me and.. whatever. But ...

What?!! Have I grown feelings as I got older? No I don't think so. To me sex is just sex. I don't consider or relate Love with Sex. That's why I can't see holding off from having sex until you're married. That makes no sense to me. There's another thing too... Because I have sex with her, doesn't mean I want to be in a relationship with her. Take this woman now that I'm talking to, not fir a relationship, but to just for sex.  From what I've been told, she is a Racist. To me I don't see it, nor feel it. I just all of a sudden started talking with her in a min verbal way. It's the kind of way Grown Folks do. Then one day she took out her notebook while we were talking, wrote something in it and teared it out and handed it to me. She said text me any and all the time. So I did. Things started getting hit and heavy on her part sexual wise. But she told me that it's been o long since she was or has been held in a mans5 arms that she wants to ...

...ever felt sorry for myself. I really thought about this. I did the best I could from memory, thinking back...way back. And I can honestly say, I never felt sorry for myself. The reason why I never did was because out if all the situation that didn't go my way, or didn't go as planned.. It all fell on me. It was my decision, my choice to make and sometimes, not all the time, it was a bad decision. When people tell me about the things their about to do, I place myself in their shoes in my head.  I would think about what I know of that person, and figure out in my head what I would do. These people tell me what they are about to do and the issue with that is that they are going by what someone else in a better situation would do. They figure well if they can do, so can I. No you can't. Like there are two young women I know who are opposite sides of a coin so to speak. One thinks she is 'all of that's in a sense that she's putting herself out there in a way...tha...

Where the fuck do I start. From the. Beginning I guess. So, I out in for a weekend pass, and I was going to stay at a friend's house. Well, I got the return request and was given an extra day. Meaning I didn't have to be back until Monday 11pm Curfew. Then came the bullshit in some peop7 lives. Friday after work I came back to the shelter. Relaxed and took it easy. When I went to leave at 8pm, I was told there was a note for me. It said that I couldn't leave out on my pass until Saturday. WTF right. I didn't get angry, I follow rules.  So... So after work on Saturday, I came back, took a shower and headed out. While I was sitting in my bunk, the guy two bunks over called me on my cell phone. He said get up the block now. I asked 2hats going on, he said just get here. I finished dressing, gathered my things and headed out. I walked to where he told me and he was standing  there with his girlfriend. She turned around and asked me did I want something. Strange. I asked my ...

There is one thing about me that I know.. I don't do anything for anyone if I don't want to. If I don't want to do something, and I mean anything..I won't do it. I will not go back and forth with anyone once my mind is made up. Same thing holds true for anything I want to do. If I have it set in my head I'm going to do something..just try and stop me from doing it. This 2omq. I met online about 10 years ago we have sort of a relationship. I mean I like her and she likes me. She wants me to move out to long Island and in with her. The thing is I don't know if I can or could find a job there. I probably can, but I would need a car, no buses like in New York City. She sent me a text saying that I've changed.nthat I'm not into her as I was before. I still am..it's just..  Listen, she doesn't drive in the highway which means it's a 3 hour ride by public transportation to go and see her. Sex with her is great for the better part.bits just that didn...