....now wait just a minute

...and I'm not going anywhere. I wanted to, but its a bit too chilly for me to travel anywhere along the east coast right now. But in September, maybe November, its either Mrytle Beach or Virginia Beach. VA Beach was awesome when I went 2 years ago with my ex girlfriend. Was very relaxing and we both had a good time. Only went on the beach one day, but we stayed in the hotel heated swimming pool every chance we got. Not too may people were at the indoor pool which was good. I tried to talk her into..ya know, in the pool, but she is a health and neatness freak. Too nasty for her. The room was nice with a the largest hot tub I ever seen. We stayed in that too. Only went out to eat one night. RThe reason for that...I work with food,and I know the prices were gonna be crazy. For breakfast, all you can eat for 7.95, can't beat that. McDonald's, Burger King, Pizza Hut and tv dinners cause we had a microwave in the room. All together for 5 days, no more that 700 dollars. That...

Guy comes the counter. Says he wants Boars Head Black Forrest Ham, which we don't sell. We do have Honey Maple ham. He says he let him get a half a pound sliced. So I start to slice, he says hold up. He wants me to open a new ham, and there is 3/4 of a pound left on the ham I have open. I tell him I can't open a new one, so he says okay and walks away. Next thing you know, the store manager says to the deli manager take care of him. I tell the deli manager what the deal is, and he tells the guy he is not opening another ham. They get into a shouting match. The store manager comes by and says open anew one. It makes me no difference either way. The deli manager is steaming mad, and I don't blame him. Next time he comes in, he's gonna want the same thing done like this time. --michaelchappell

In my store, they had these furry stuff animals for 99 cents. So, I got about 4 of them for my girlfriend. Weeks later, while she was at work, and I was at her house, I looked at them. The tags were still on them. They were chew toys for dogs. I hoped my girfriend didn't see it. Probably did though. --michaelchappell

A co worker, who is from another country told me he spent his Easter flying kites. I asked him why, was it a tradition. He told me he doesn't know why, that's what his family does every Easter. Okaaaaay. So, why do cultures fly kites on Easter, lets take a look. Have you seen that movie Chicken Heart, with Lisa Bonet and Robert Deniro? Deniro plays the devil. Towards the end he is eating boiled eggs. Eggs represent the soul. While he is eating them, his fingernails grow longer, that like of the devil. Okay, I degressed, back to Easter. Okay, Easter, people go Easter Egg hunting, right? So, does the eggs represent lost souls. And, why and where do rabbits, bunny rabbits come into play at ? This has me thinking, cause rabbits don't lay eggs ya know. Do rabbits represent all that pure, and the reason why kids, search for eggs during the Easter egg hunt? I remember when I was in elementry school. We practice in the gym for about 2 weeks for this May Flower Pole thing they were ...

The second party I threw, was a bithday/holoween party for my then girlfriend Jennifer. It was held in a friend's house, Tisha, in Parkchester. Again, I let a whole lot of people know, and a lot of them females, were also bringing their girlfriends. People asked me should they dress up, I said it was up to them. At first, 2 things went wrong with this party. First, a friend of mine, father owned a liquor store, and he told me that I could get the liquior realy cheap. I gave him 300 dollars and told him to get whatever. Econd, the neighbors on Tisha's floor didn't wantthis party to happen, when we started moving the music eqipment in that afternoon. After paying 75 dolars to all the aprtments on that floor, everything was ok...so I thought. The liquoir never showed up on time, even at all. My friend gave me some bullshit excuse, so that ment another 300 to 500 dollars out of my pocket. Again, mostly females showed up, and they were mainly dressed in night time sleepwear, whi...

Yes, I use Twitter, I Tweet, or whatever you call it. Could care less if some one who I follow, follows me back, no for real. Have of the people that I follow, don't have anything usful to say anyway. What they mainly do, and its females mainly that I follow, what they do is bash men. Of course the females that bash men are young, say between the ages of 22 and 25. I don't know for sure, but I can tell from what they say. Oh, things like men with some penises, don't know how to give good oral sex, shit like that. One day I jumped and and said that you wouldn't know what an orgasim was all about if it slapped you on your ass. That open a can of worms. I was then told that they would unfollow me, which they wasn't, and I told them so. I was then told like they would block me, like who gives a flying fuck if ONE person out of say, a GAZILLION others who are willing to accept me and my tweets. I guess that got them to thinking. They asked me what made me such a profesi...

I was invited to this health food slash eating right get together. Some nice people were there, made new contacts. All the food was organic, but I stuck mainly to the fresh juices made right in front of you. I didn't know what to get, so I asked the vendor to pick out something. And since I was going to be there for a couple of hours, I made it an extra large. This is where the alien part comes in. This jusice had about 3 different fruits, about 4 veggies, and some other stuff that's suppose to be good for the body. What this person didn't tell me was what they were giving me. A WARNING right now, I'm about to get graphic. WARNING WARNING !! I ate some breakfast this morning, and went back to sleep. Woke up again, took a shower, and had some kool aide...and the it happened. I RAN to the bathroom. It was like a, like water flowing, and it was GREEN !!! No shit, um, wrong choice of words, true shit...GREEN. And, when I thought it was ove, nope, it just kept right on comin...