....now wait just a minute

I saw this going to a restaurant to place an order to go.  I like the locaion and you should see the insides. If it was mines, I would name it "Associates". I have the business model in my head.

First it was with me that I don't like living alone... Then I told myself that I don't need a full apartment, a studio would suit me fine. Now... May 15th 2022 I officially early retired. April 2022 I received a Housing Voucher and moved into a Studio apartment. I like it...the colors..the bathroom, I have a claw footed bathtub and it's a nice sized bathroom too. Though the landlord went up $25 in the rent, and the allocated amount of my Voucher did too... Somehow I'm paying a dollar less per month out of my pocket. There's math, new math and then Federal Government math. I questioned how am I paying less? Anywho... Since I've embarked on doing whatever I want to now since I no longer have to work... I've been working on multiple projects. What I really need is a 2 bedroom house with a basement. I won't call it a Man Cave because that's just being Basic. It will be my studio. But I want to keep this place I'm in now also.  I want to keep this pla...

I can tell you the last time I heard or saw written that someone, mostly a woman who saya something or the other about loyalty. How the scream it, how they want it.  This woman who I was once talking to, always would have that word every time I met with her...coming out of her mouth. She told me that I look like a cheater. She said that I looked like I have about 3 or 4 women that I lie to every single day. It isn't true, but she believes so, so I let her  It got so bad one day that I was mad on the inside because really all I wanted to do was have sex with her. She knew it too. She say men aren't loy..., And I stopped her right there  'How many kids do you have, 4 right? Are they all by the same man, no. 4 different men, 4 didn't children' I paused..and then she said..'..and none of them weren't  about shit either.' I stopped her again. So who left, you or them? You did. When the going got ruff, meaning when you couldn't get what you wanted, you lef...

From out of nowhere about two days ago... I want to have a kid, a baby. I want to be a father. Presently I don't have any children. Two days ago, I really thought hard about how to make this happen. First thing she has to be... knowledgeable, yeah that's the word. She also has to be no you ger than 30 and downt have any children of her own  I'm a broke ass. But hey, I'm 63 and right now I'm doing pretty alright. I struggle at least once maybe twice a month. But other than that I haven't gone hungry not once. So if she is looking for some big payday or a Will with large sums it money left to the child, that isn't going to happen  She also wants to have a child and be a parent. She has to somewhat like me, have sex with me...continue to have sex with me. But the ice breaker is... She has to know that she is not a Man and she can not do what men do. She has to be a woman, a Lady, a female, a mother. I even set a time when I'm going to start this 'Quest...

About 5 years ago I met this woman online. She was from VA, but moved to NYC. I asked her can we meet in person. I asked can we meet in person. She lived about a 20 minute walk from where I lived at. All I had to do was just stand outside in that area and sooner or later I would have seen her. But being the 'nice' guy...when she said no, I left it at that. Over the years she stayed in touch with me, always reaching out to me first. I mean if you don't want to meet me in person, I don't want to talk to you over the phone or even text with you. But with her I contin9 to do so for some strange reason. Every time she call or text, she would tell me about the relationships that she is in. But these relationships weren't healthy for her because sooner or rather right at the beginning of them she would tell me how the guy was and is and what he is doing to her. I told her I don't want to her about your bad shit that's going on in your life. Why do you feel you must...

I know this happens or supposed to happen like normally. But I seriously ask myself...wait, WTF! For an example... There is this woman I know, she dips and dabs... No, she is fucked on her drug use. Listen I'm not angel, I use also but there is a difference between her use and my use. Not saying I'm better at, or I'm not like her but... But I've seen a change in her overall every fucking thing. Okay, I'm looking at her and how she has changed and in the same sense she is saying that I have changed also. But I'm saying to myself not as much in physical appearances like her looks, her ways of walking, thinking and talking. Her way of thinking is what fucks me up. She told me that after listening to me last night, that she thinks I need to get some help. This is coming from a woman who at 10am told me she was leaving her house to come and see me, but didn't walk thru my front door until 6pm. She was using public transportation, and only had to catch two buses. ...

Two days ago..a year ago I retired. Well, I took early retirement at 62. On August 21st, 2022, I fractured my Tibia and dislocated my ankle. Operation in September 6th had me no wearing two mental thingies, one on each side of my left calf, being held together with 4 screws on each side. Here it is May 17th, 2023...and all I can do on my left foot is wiggle my toes. My ankle is still swollen and numb. About two inches above the ankle and the whole door from my toes and the bottom, my soul of my left foot is numb. Sometimes my whole left leg just starts 'dancing' on its own, it jumps 2, 3 times like it has a mind of its own. At least twice a day, I get these sharp pains in and around my ankle that makes me see God. The pain is so sharp that if I have anything in my hands, I drop them because it feels like I'm about to topple over.  Most days I can barely walk or out any pressure on my left leg period. It's not the whole leg that Hurst and is constant pain. It's walki...