My Uncle Lawrence

Last April, my family threw me a 50th birthday party. A lot of my cousins, aunts and uncles were present. Most of my cousins I didn't even know cause that's how far removed I am at family gatherings. It all has something to do with my past. My family, they all have moved on from it, but I haven't. It shames me to even be around them, cause I know they know about my past. Even though that's behind me, it still bothers me. I had promised to be more into family gatherings, but I have yet kept my promises, its just me.

At my party, my Uncle Lawrence was there, he was suffering from cancer. He is no longer with us. About 3 months ago he passed away and I didn't even go to the services. So now my conscious is bothering me, and this is why.

My mother called me at work and told me that my Uncle left me 2 watches. I said okay, but I don't know when I will be able to come to her house, cause my work is tight right now, working on my days off, vacation too. She said she understands but she wanted me to know something about thew watches. My Uncle worked for and retired from New York City Transit. These watches, as my mother said, cause she checked, are worth a couple of thousand dollars... a piece. There is a big thing within his family. Like why did I get them left to me in his will. She explained what he told my Aunt, who told her.

He said that Michael isn't like any person that's in our entire family. Michael is his own person, his own world and cares about those who are in his world. Instead of everyone trying to make me be a part of their world, they should try to be a part of mine. He said that when I was young, a little boy, I was riding the train, and he was the conductor. I didn't see him. He said I had my nose deep into some books and magazines reading, not even paying attention to what was going on around me. He said that when he looked at me, people were looking at this young boy, sitting there reading a newspaper like he was grown. Other kids my age on the train were acting wild, but not me. Right then he knew there was something different about me. I don't remember that day. But I do remember saeeing him one time as a conductor and we had a long conversation too. When the train got to 180th Street in The Bronx, it was his last run, he gave me a ride home. I told my mother where I was at and she said she knew.

I remember my Uncle when I was coming up as being the photographer in the family. I saw his big fancy cameras, and I said that's what I want to do and be. When I entered High School, I went to The High School of Art & Design. My major was Photography and Motion Picture Design. First day of school I was told I need a camera for my 4 periods of photography. I don't know what I told my mother, but she bought me and Instamatic camera. Next day at school, everyone had 35mm cameras, talk about embarrassment. The next day I had a 35mm camera my Uncle Lawrence which I didn't know at the time, bought for me. I was really good at talking and developing my shots. Walt Frazier lived a cross the street from my school, and he use to practice in our gym. I went to school VERY early to take pictures of him, the janitor let me in. I showed him some of the prints and he bought about 30 of them from me, he paid BIG bucks for them too !!

I wanted more out of life so I dropped out of HS and joined The Army. That's when the detachment from family actually started. I somewhat miss and will miss my Uncle Lawrence, for real. Here's hoping where ver you're at is what you want it to be.

Bored...again.

Just had a convo with a customer. She has a 18 month old child, and she
said she left the baby's father cause she said she was in a dead end
relationship. Now, I don't understand that. Is it because I dontr have
any children, nor a girlfriend? I asked her, what did she expect from
him once she told him that she wqas with his child.

She said during the months that lead up to the birth, she knew that he
wasn't going to be around once the child was born. This conversation we
had, she told me, was a release for her. Even though the attitude that I
got from her was that 'all' men aren't shit, I listened and gave some
advice. First thing I asked her was why did she think that having a bay
by him would keep him around. She, like many others answered, cause she
thought it would bring them closer together. No, he drew the both of you
further apart.

Since you weren't living together, he found many of wxcuses to stay away
from you, and you found many ways to try to get him to your place. Even
marraige is a sure means of holding a relationship together and I think
having his baby was what cemeted him running out the door.

Yeah she asked me about my relationship status, kids, the whole nine. I
told her no girlfriend, wife or kids. Told her also that I like to be
able to come and go as I please, but not in the way that she is
thinking. I heard it all before, 'I'm not a commimnet type of guy', no,
I am that type of person that likes a long term relationship. But you
women, after you move in together with your man, ya'll tend to knock
having sex off the menu, like it doesn't mean much to you if you have or
don't have it.

'+h, that changes after you have a baby'. No it doesn't. I know woman
who went straight into fucking, not the baby's father, 3 weeks after
giving birth. I know of women, who right up to the 9 month were fucking,
and not the baby's father. I think its because once you have a man
underneath the same roof with you, its now, you have to provide and take
care of me. That comes without saying, but you don't quit your job and
put it all on yourself.

Not all women are like this I tell her, just some. When she left, she
gave me her number and told me to call her after work so we can discuss
this some more, yeah, right.
--michaelchappell

School Starts

So today is the first day of school, the rest of the week, noschool. Wht
type of madness is that? When I was coming up, school, first day was
the whole week. Guess times have changed.

I was wondering also, do these parents look at what their daughters are
wearing to school these days. Like today, she couldn't have been older
than 15 years old, but she dressed as if she was going to a club. I
guess again the parents bought the clothes for her, but then again. Kids
nowadays have a source of income which you wouldn't believe. It may have
come from that guy who was selling drugs during the summer and giving
her some of the money to carry packages for him. So she saved it up and
bought her own clothes. I don't know.

Some of the teachers came into the store yesterday. Most of them I
didn't recognize, because, I hate to say this, they gained weight. Some
even told me that they gained weight, but they all looked good. So what
you eat, you gain weight, what's the problem ?

One of the cashiers came to the counter and got some ht food, 8 dollars
worth, and walked away. The manager asked me did I put a sticker on it,
and I did. They sent her home yesterday. This morning, the owner
questioned me on what happened cause she told him that she told me that
she didn't have any money. She nvere mentioned anything to me. You come
you ask for food, I package it, price it, and hand it to you. You walk
away, what you do next is on you. I feel sorry for her now, cause they
are going to fire her. She cute, young, but cute and that's no excuse.
Maybe they will let her stay with warning.

I promised myself that this Fall I'm gonna start doing more in my fre
time. But most of the time, I too tired to do anything. Good news is
that my vacay starts next week, but I'm working 2 of the 7 days, they
asked me to, so I said okay.
--michaelchappell