Sadness

My sister texted me 911 last night, I was sleep, and I woke up and saw
the text. I called her, she told me that our father had passed away. I
was speechless, didn't know what to say other than what happened.

My mother and him were sitting in the living room, he got up and went to
the kitchen, she saw him walk in. After some time, she wondered where he
was at, so she got up and went to the kitchen, she didn't see him. The
kitchen is like a 2 parter kitchen, no doors thou, kitchen table, then
it, the room breaks to the left to where the store and sink are.

Since she didn't see him in the kitchen, she went to the bedroom,
passing the bathroom, which he wasn't in, on the way. At the bedroom, he
wasn't in there either. So she goes all the way into the kitchen, and he
is on the floor. She calls 911, ambulance come, he's still alive, and
they take him to the hospital. My sisters show up there. Donna looks at
him and see that he isn't going to be around much long, she talks with
him.

He ask..his name is William Raines, we call him Willie. He ask, where is
his sandwich and Donna ask what sandwich. He says the one in the
refrigerator. Donna says where, he says in Parkchester. My other sister
Sharon is living in the 3 bedroom apartment in Parkchester that's in his
name, for a number of years now. With that answer, he closes his eyes,
and Donna says it was like he was going to sleep.

I don't know what to feel. I'm 50 years old, and he has been in my life
as far as I remember, when I was 8 yeras old, 1968. Its like I know we
all have to die at one time or another, but when it happens to the ones
you love and they love you back, its a little, no a lot of shakening.
(If that's a word).

One thing for sure though, that man loved to eat. I worked at the Cafe,
Soicety Cafe, located on 114th and 8th Ave, he came down there one day
around lunchtime, and spent the whole 6 hours there eating, paying full
price. I was the waiter, cashier, manager, and cook, all buy myself.
When 2 of my co workers and the manager and the owner came in, they
wanted to know who he was. I said that's my father. They all agreed that
he could put some food away. His bill came well over 150 dollars, which
the owner comped it all. I remember that day, a good one for bothe him
and I.

I spoke with my mother last night. Prior to his passing, she didn't want
him in the house any more, she wanted him ina nursing home. I offered to
share an apartment with him, but she turned that down. My mother had
said back then, about 2 months ago, all she want to do was have a decent
7 months left on earth, that's why she wanted him out of the house. Now
she sort of have her wish.

I don't mean that in a bad way, cause last night, my mother said
something that scared the hell out of me. She said, 'now I can die'.
What the fuck is that suppose to me? I figured it out. She really didn't
want him in anursing home, she didn't want him living with me, she
wanted him to just move on, you know like to heaven.

Now I'm worried about her, she will be 76 on December 14th.
--michaelchappell