The Way We Live

I know that at sometimes, I can be the dirtiest person on the face of
the earth. By dirty I mean I won't even clean my room for a week or two.
Now mind you, I'm not a dirty person, I'm very clean in fact. Yesterday
evening, my deli manager called me to come over to his house to fix his
desktop computer, I was in for a surprise.

My parent always told me this. If you don't want people to see how nasty
you live, don't invite them over simple, plain like that. But, if you're
gonna invite them over, clean up a bit, a lot if you have to. More so if
they have to come in your bedroom.

I shouldn't talk about this, but he was going to rent out a room to me,
glad I didn't accept. Lets just say I'm glad I didn't take him up on his
offer. I'm a neat/clean freak when it comes to personal hygiene, I have
to, I work with and around food. I don't really judge people on how they
live, its their place,do as you please. But... wouldn't you clean up
just a little if you knew company was coming over? I know I would.

The reason why I went over there, besides fixing his computer, was to
see this woman. He told me she would be there, she wasn't. Oh, but she
called the house and spoke to me. Wanted me to spend the night, wait for
her til she got there. I was there til a quarter to 10pm and she had not
showed up yet. I wasn't staying, I wanted to sleep in my own bed,and I
didn't have a change of clothes. When I finally got home, she called
wanting to know why I didn't stay. I told her why, she said that she
would have picked up some clothes for me. Where ? Gonna meet up with her
after work today.
--michaelchappell

......????

So, when shews working with me, in the same store, she knew I had a
thing for her. It was just a sex thing that never really got off to
nowhere. She quit,and moved on with her life, but still came to the
store every once in a while.

Next thing, she was pregnant, met the guy of her dreams she says. I
spoke with her, told her, asked her, was she sure about this big move
she is making in her life. She said, he loves me and I love him.

She gave birth a couple of weeks ago, about 6 weeks or so. Last night
she came by the apartment, her and my housemate are friends. My
housemate ask me was I gonna eat the food that she cooked for me. If not
her friend is here and she is hungry, she had the baby with her. I went
to her bedroom to see her and the baby. This woman has got huge,and I
don't think its because of thee baby. My housemate took the baby and she
told me to come to the kitchen with her.

She opened her heart to me, let loose all that she was holding. The
baby's father left her, she had to move back in with her mother. She is
lonely, tired all the time. Most of all she told me, she wants sex. She
said that will make her feel good again. I asked was she asking me? She
said I know I turned you down in the past, before I was pregnant, but
she doesn't know anyone like me, a person who just speaks what's on his
mind.

I started to go thru with it, but I didn't and I know why. I told her
this... see, everything is okay when you're with your boyfriend,
spending the night bat his house, playing husband and wife, then... you
get pregnant, and give birth. That body isn't as tight and slim as it
was before the baby. You feel fat, but he still wants you. Its you he
don't want to be seen without any clothes on. He got tired of you
turning him down, so he found someone else who doesn't turn him away. At
first he was hiding it, now he doesn't care if you found out, which you
did, and now he wants you out. You don't care, you can always go back to
your mother's house,which you did. All you did there was lose more sleep
and pack on the pounds. You have no job, no source of income other than
Public Assistance. Now you're horny as hell.

So you come to me, thinking that I would just about fuck anything, hell
why not you. True as that may be, but I'm not like that for real. But I
also told her this. If she really wants to have sex, come by Thursday
night at 11pm, spend the night with me. She started crying.

Some guys are really dickheads.
--michaelchappell

Re: If I had One Leg and One Arm, Would You...

This question was asked on a blog postboy some one who I read when ever
they post. The question: 'If I had one arm and one leg would you still
date me and take me out'. It was something like that. The answer, yes I
would.

I met Jennifer when I was working for the State of NY, in a Mental
Hospital, she was already hired 2 months before me and had already
completed her training. When I got to the wards, ne of her friends whom
she went thru training with was working on the same ward and shift as I.
She said she had someone she wanted me to meet. After work, we met and
agree to meet again later that night at some club.

I went to the club and she was surrounded by her girlfriends. I pulled
her to the side and started talking with her. After a while, I knew I
wanted to sleep with her, so I asked her did she wanna leave,she said
yes. We went to a hotel.

2 days later, I got a really good look at her. She walked with a limp
and her right hand was deformed. All this I didn't see, all I saw was
her face and smile.she was embarrassed by her walk and her hand, but I
told her don't worry about that BS, all I wanted was her. We dated for
4and a half years, 3 of those years we lived together. Then we broke up,
but were still friends.

Four months later I seen her in my neighborhood and she approached me
asking me did I want to go to a hotel, yes. 8 years later, I seen her on
125th Street in Harlem and I approached her, asking about going to a
hotel with me. She was with a guy who I didn't even see. She told me
that she was bbreaking up with him right then and there, gave me her
number and told me to call her tonight. Jennifer had gained something
like 60 pounds, she was big, but my heart still loved her.

I never got around to calling her, something and some one else came up
that need attention right then and there.
--michaelchappell

Wednesday, and..

My deli manager introduced me to this African woman. She good looking,
but she's in this country on a student visa or some such. So, she can't
get a job, well a legal one, she can only work off the books. Like...she
likes me, so she says, but where she is living at she wants to move, but
her funds are running low. She was planning on going back to Africa
today. Deli manager told her she can come and live with his wife and
kids, he's African too.

She called me last night and told me what she wants from me..a baby.
AND, she is willing to pay for it. What price do I put on that shit?
Today, after work,her and I are gonna talk. She said she will text me
thru out the day.
--michaelchappell

Re: The Lords of Rikers, (New York Magazine, Feb 7th 2011)

I've served time on Rikers Island, a number of times. I'm not proud of
that and I do not wear it as a badge of honor either. But I've survived
it, I'm lucky, some aren't.

You must read that article that's stated as my subject. You might get a
feel of what's going on out there on that island. But what you 'think'
you feel, times that by 100...and then some. Its a war zone out there.

Like in any place that society sends its sick, its hard to manage
people, jail, prison is as low as you can get on the food chain. The
ones that are serving time with you, are out to get you. And the ones
that are there, being paid to watch over you, and to 'protect' you,
don't give a flying fuck about you.

RNDC Building,(Real Niggaz Don't Care), is also known by many names. The
5 Building, C95, Gladiators School. Adults are housed there until they
are sentenced. They don't mix the teenagers with the adults, no movement
of the 2 at the same time, cause shit pops off in the hallways. But back
to that article.

Yes, th CO's run the housing areas, they're suppose to. But what they
aren't suppose to do is let the inmates take control as they do.
--michaelchappell

The Old Days

I believe in doing what you have to do in order to survive today. From
selling your body to selling drugs. But today, selling drugs isn't like
it was back in the mid 80's. Today drug dealers mostly do shit whole
sale if anything. Here's my take on that shit.

First of all if you're on the lower level, the dealer, not whole seller,
you got to ALWAYS HAVE !! I really mean this, this shit is important.
Most low level dealers start off with at least 200 dollars, which bis
more than enough. Bu
--michaelchappell

Friends

This has been on my mind for the last couple of days. How, or what are
our friends? How do you classify a person as a friend. I really thought
about this one. It can go in many directions for some, so I'm just gonna
say how I determine who and what my friends are.

It used to be that a friend was some one that you could and can depend
on. The world changes, people change, so that changes too. Think about
this, how did you get in touch with your friends before computers, smart
phones? You just walked over to your house phone and called them. Better
yet, you went to their house and met them face to face. Well, not any
more these days.

In 1967, my mother got a house phone, the number, my brothers and
sister, we all had to know it by heart. Fast forward to last year. My
sister told us AFTER she did it, she got rid of the phone and that
number we had for so long. I was really upset. See, I told people over
the years in this country and OTHER countries that I visit, that if you
need to get in touch with me, use that number. I figured, since we had
it for so long, that it will always be part of the family. Her letting
that telephone number go, messed my whole head up. My friends, how will
they reach out to me?

Now comes along email, text and instant messaging. I have 2 cell phones.
The same number now going on 10 years. I give you my number, you an
always reach me. That along with my email address, it ends in 2004,
that's how long I have this one email that I give out. But you would
think that people would be more responsible with their phones and email
addresses too. People before would lose phones like bit was nothing. Get
a new phone, new number. Email, they use, I call disposable emails
like hotmail and yahoo with stupid email addresses. Worst, they never
check their emails. Like, I called their number, not in service. Send an
email, day later, no word back from them. I don't understand. But when I
run into them on the street, they say how come you don't call me? I
tried. 'Oh, I lost that phone months ago'. So, now I do things
differently now.

I give my online phone number, email address, and when they try to give
me theirs, I say, asked how long you've had this number. Also, give me
an email that I can reach you at. If I get in return, they don't have an
email, I take it that they aren't really worth calling on counting on
for a friendship on MY end. They reaching out to me, that's different.

I have friends, MANY friends, friends that I can't even remember their
faces, but their numbers come up with a name on my celly caller ID. Its
arkward, trying to place the name with the voice, face, number. What's
even strange... one day on was on 125th street, Harlem, The State
Building. I was leaving, going thru the revolving door, this cute young
woman made eye contact with me, her eyes lit up, she was coming in. She
went all the way around and came out calling me by my first and last
name. Gave me ab hug, kiss on the lips. Now I know who I have slept with
in my past, she wasn't one of them. She was a friend of a a friend. We
exchanged numbers, talked for a while. She said that could I meet up
with her later, after she takes care of her business, gave me her home
address. Said call in 1 hour, I did. Like I said she was a friend of a
friend, but was interested in me, but her friend told her that you don't
want to mess with me cause.... Well, she said I would mess her head up.
See wanted to know why she said that, but she found out. I wasn't
looking for a relationship, but us seeing each other was like we were in
one. 'But you come and see me when I ask you too, you stay over when I
ask you too, we do things like a couple...' we are still good friends,
she calls, emails me when she wants to see me.

My female friends, I respect them. But I'm gonna be me no matter what.
I'm not changing for any one. I tell me female friends that if they
don't have children when I meet them, don't have any later on in life
either. See, some people, my friends, I like them for the freedom that
they have. Having children, doesn't allow you to have that freedom. So
if my female friends have children along the way, our friendship doesn't
ends, it changes, its different. They tell me that I've changed, yeah,
caused you changed, your lifestyle changed.

I've had female friends that I could just say or ask, well in advance
what are you doing on this or that day. If it was nothing, 3 or 4 of
them and me, we would meet up. They would always ask me about the other
about where did I meet her at, what got you interested in her? I
remember one time, at an art opening in Manhattan, at some gallery, I
invited about 20 female friends of mine. When I got there and seen them
all, it was like I was a superstar or something. I talked with them all
in small groups, introduced them to each other. Had a ball that night.
People were looking at me like I was crazy, some type of pimp or
something. People asked, I told them, they bare my friends.

To say that my female friends, I sleep with them, well not all the time.
They become friends first, but I lose interest if within the first 2
days we don't sleep together, hut that doesn't stop me from still trying
and they know this. Its like a little game we play. One female friend,
its going on 10 years of this game playing.

I like my friends, male and female. Guys, I just know, that's how I
classify them. 'This guy I know', but I do have guy friends. I don't
make plans with them. If they happen to be at where I'm at at the time,
so be it.but I don't hang out with guys any more. My guy friends are too
much worried about how they look when they go out. Oh, I would see them
at some type of function, and they would give me strange looks on how
I'm dressed. Say, nits a suit type function, I would have on a suit...
with sneakers or boots. Tie thrown over my left shoulder or something to
make me stand out. I don't drink, so no drink would be I my hands. I
would walk around just talking with everyone, making contacts, which is
called networking today.

Like I said, this has been on my mind for a while.
--michaelchappell

Laundry Day

Sitting in this cold ass place. How come they dnt put heat in here
yesterday when I was walking by, this lady was in something that looked
like she sleeps in thought it was warm in here....NOT !!

This madness in Egypt is crazy. I don't understand it and won't take the
time to try to.

The cashiers at my job are crazy. This one, her and I got into a little
talk before it got busy. She's a little sad cause SHE broke up with her
married boyfriend. No, he wasn't living outside in an apartment, away
from his wife. He was still living with her. The reason why she broke up
cause he was trying to control her, she had enough. Now, she is sad, no
I said she horny now. Which I am correct about.

She is of Spanish decent, pretty long blonde hair. She said that's what
she miss about him mostly...sex. Other than that, that was all he was
good for. She told me that I can mail her messages on Face Book. No I
can't, I'm not on there like that. What I have to say, I will say it to
your face. First things first, do you have a vibrator?

Her face turned red, she didn't have to answer. Told her to bring it in
tomorrow. Wanted to know why, I wanna see it, that's why. She said she
would, then I would take it from there.

Whyaw forget about it, too tired
--michaelchappell

I Made Up My Mind

Since last summer, me and this woman have been trying to hook up. Well,
it was more than a hook up really. We want to be with each other only
for as long as we wanted each other. But with me working, she doesn't
work, I don't know, it just can't seem to click.

Yesterday I was suppose to go pick her up. She sends me an email. I
thumb thru it, then deleted it, she wasn't coming, didn't give a reason
why. Then she called me. I asked her what's the problem and she said she
didn't know. She wanted more than what I was offering her. Hell, she
doesn't have anything at all herself. No job, not her own
place..nothing. I told her she disappointed me, I had everything all set
for a 3 day stay over. I bought food, something to drink, and my
housemates were expecting her. I never bought any one home in the 2
years I've been living with them. So I told her what's on my mind.

Long story short, she is thru. I'm not wasting my time with anyone who
doesn't want to do nothing with their lives.
--michaelchappell