Thursday, July 21st, 7:06am

I haven't seen her in almost 4 months, but have been in touch with her thru the phone and emails. Today she says she doesn't even want to hear any bullshit, I better be at her house when she gets off from work. Oh, it takes me 3 and a half hours to get to her house upstate, NY...worth the trip though. Been sending me texts all night long while I'm working what she wants to do to me, how can I make her want me so bad, why am I doing this to her. This is strange talk coming from her cause she doesn't talk like this.

I called her at 4am this morning, her first words were are you downstairs? No, still in the city. "Please come and see me", she says. I told her I will be there. I let her go back to sleep. She sends me a text that she loves me, and can't wait til she sees me.

I met her while she still lives in the city, she was moving the next day, so I went all out. I talk shit, yes its true, but I back it up. Afterwards, she gave me the address where she lives upstate, told me to come up there in 2 weeks, don't call, just come. I did, and have been, but work, then lost of a job, threw me all off. I got somewhat depressed, not like me to be without a job. She wants me to quit working and live with her, she says she can support me, and I can open my own computer repair in the basement of her house. I thought about it, but how long will it take that she gets tired of seeing my face I ask myself.

For real though, I can't wait til I see her also.