I'm Just Saying...

I make up my own mind and I deal with whatever that follows.

Some women aren't just right. I mean, they get what their hand calls for. I listen to everything that I'm told. Most of the times if shit don't apply to me, I pay it no mind, but I still listen. Talk this one woman I know here.

I told her, that I would move into her home inder one condition. That I am a 'roommate', who if you want to, we could have sex. Told her, I find her attractive and I could see myself having sex with her. But I am not your man, and if I feel that you're treating me as such, I will speak up about it.

Last week she told me her 29 year old daughter had her electricity turned off, didn't pay the bill. So, yesterday from no where, she approaches me and tells me that her electricity bill went up to $200 more than it normally is, this is because I am here. I told her that I will give her an extra $50 a week and left it at that. Straight off I felt she was lying. She must have forgot what she told me about her daughter. But I put an end to any further discussion of the subject with me saying I will give her an extra $50 a week.

This morning, she woke up after I did, and knocked on my door naked. I told her that I wasn't up to be making love to her any time soon. She wanted to know why, and I told her why. She says I am saying that she is a liar, yep, you are. That's it, I'm your roommate, and that's all. Once you start lying to me to get more money out of me, and further connections with me is OFF!!

Her daughter is running a line from her neighbor's apartment to supply her with lights. The thing that I don't understand is her daughter has this guy living with her and all he does is play video games and smoke weed all day long. No job, not looking for work. I don't understand that shit. But the daughter is quick to claim what she has and what she's doing...she's 'A Boss'. A Boss of what, your own destruction?

I already looked at 3 homes, 2 bedrooms for $650 a month. I dislike living by myself though. Rather have a female, who has her shit together, clean with a working shower to live with.

I Notice Some Things

I'm a true believer that if you talk things out with others, no matter what it is, you will always find a solution.

I know some people go with the...well, they just don't like putting their business out there. True, some things you want to keep to yourself. But I think that there isn't nothing on the earth that isn't too big of a problem to share with at least ONE person. Let me correct that, one breathing, alive person. You already, for some, give your worries to God. But a human being, I think, you may get the answers to your problems or questions.

Guy at work got got cheating on his girlfriend that he lives with. He had moved in with her. Another co worker female, took a liking to this guy, so they sarted going out. I always wondered why he was so quiet at work, played the strong...'Im crazy and I don't give a fuck atittude' type. It was only to impress her. Well his live in girlfriend got the mail one day and notice credit card statements for dinner, and a hotel room...on the day he says he was working late at the shop, the kitchen. Girlfriend had went all out for him too. Bought him clothes, leased a car for him. That day she showed up at the job, tow truck and all his clothes. Changed the locks and said its over. He quits the job right on the spot. Baffled the fuck out of me. He tells me afterwards, that he is like me, a Player.

Hold up.  Dude, I'm no Player. There is a BIG difference in what you did and who I am. Now the female co worker is NOW aware of what was going on with him. So I guess he quit because of getting cauggt, oh well.

But what got me highly fucked up... he quit and The Chef says I take over his position. Means more hours and responsibility, right? Okay on the hours part. But what did was his duties in the kitchen. He assmebled the food trays and every Tuesday, clean and cook off 6 cases of chickken breast. It takes him 6 hours to do that. Wanna know what I do? In a zip lock baggy, 1 cup of Quacker Oats, and a quarter cup of Chocolate Protien Whey....I do this 600 times. Then Corn Flakes in a baggy, 600 MORE times. Then I have to label covers, chicken, turkey, steak and fish..750 labels EACH. Then any other prep that needs done AND wash the pans and pots and whatever we use. I don't mind the washing though. Its the easiest thing to do when you have SCALDING ASS WATER!! I'm not complaining. I love my field of work. It's...

...there is a speed, a rhythm to a kitchen. Its established within the first 20 minutes when you walk in one. Turn music on, change your clothes into your uniform and set up your area. It does not take HOURS to do this. I don't care you went out drinking last night and you're hungover. Each person has a job to do, and we all depend on you being here READY and FIT to work. Gotta go, was just called into work.

Just Some Stuff

First of all, its Earth Day. Hug a tree and talk to the grass. Listen to what they are saying.

A female friend that I met under a year ago..she is finally not only getting honest with, but with herself too. She had every chance to meet me in person before I moved. But being like almost everyone else, she said she was always busy. This was even on mnay occasions we made plans to meet. At first I tool it personal, thought it was me. Then I thought, it couldn't be because she never met me face to face. Turns out it wasn't never about me at all. It's all her.

People can click in emails, text messages and even on the phone. But when one ask, 'when can I meet you in person', the other person...well. sweat runs down their back. Some people are self consious about the way others will look at them. Letters, text, emails and phone calls distant ourselfs from meeting people face to face. True, in those form of communications, it's easy to express yourself because the person whom you are talking to isn't right there in you face. But when it comes to asking for a face to face..something...'Im busy on that day'.

Well it turns out she wasn't and never have been busy. Shawn is 42 years old and lives by herself and she is lonely. So lonely that she thinks that marriage to a man will fix everything that is going downhill in her life. She works. This is her day. Wake up, get in her car, go to work, come home...repeat. thruought her working week, she comes in contact with maybe 7 people. By herself in her car,at work, one person whom she cares for and the back in her car to her apartment which she is the only one there. I told her, her next step is to buy a cat. Ditch the car, take public transportation. Don't go in the basement of your apartment to do you clothes, go to a laundry mat and do them. Go to places where people are. You're losibg contact with The Human Race, is what's happening.

She also told me about her sex issue. Which, I coudlnt believe. She told me what she wants and what she wants to feel. ...and love has NOTHING to do with it. Problem is, that she has been a Lone Wolf for so long, that she sort of lost the skill of making a man aware of that she is open to...well, you know. How do you lose the ability to do that? Oh. By being by yourself all the time. I spoke with her over the phone about this. From our conversation, she really have lost touch with connecting with men. Told her again, that is what happens when you ONLY look at men who fits acertain discription that YOU placed on yourself to meet.

But she isn't the only person who is like this. A lot of people are. They are so use to doing the same thing day in and day out. 'Oh, I do go out, what are you talking about?' The 'Night Out With The Girls', hell you can do that only so many times. And what, you go out to trash talk men in a GROUP!! Also, for what? Over priced watered down drinks, please.

Men, don't want to change any of the women that they are interested in. So why do women want to change the man that they are interested in LATER on as when they are in a relationship with? Explain that to me. What attracted you to me, you like, so now you want to... Not happening. Oh..'he has to have his own place, a car'. Its simple for me. All she has to have is a pulse.

Recently I spoke with a woman who said she wants to be with a real man, where are the real men at? But wait, she is in a relationship already. Does her man know she is unhappy with him, no. So she is out there looking for a new man WHILE she already has one at home. Yeah, like I'm falling for that. If you're doing it to him, you wll do it to me. Besides, you have 3 kids by different men, you don't need a man. You need a job.

Before You Execute, You MUST Plan

It happens with all of us, at some time we get that great idea. Something we think that no one has ever came up with the idea about. Some times it haunts us for years, but we never act on it. Then one day while we are watching TV, or are walking down an isle in a store... We see what we had vision...on the shelves...looking right at us...and some one comes along and not buy one, but four of them.

Since I was off yesterday, so that left me some time to meet with a woman, Kim in person. A single mother of 5, not working because she was taking care of a sick parent who recently passed away. Though she was gone from the workforce for only 6 to 8 months, she told me that that was a little too long for where we live at. Her position was filled and now she has to wait to get back into the company. But in the man time, she has options that she wants to look in and do. Restate, and her own line of T-shirts, and she has shoes, dresses for women also. Some of the dresses I saw on her Facebook page, before even meeting her in person, I wanted to see her in. And I promise that if she wore these 2 outfits out with me, I would buy them for her. She said she would. But I was more focus on the t-shirts, that I know a lot about.

I know the whole process of putting your line of t-shirts out. From the design, to cutting the screens, marketing, colors...all of that. I know what it cost, and it depends on how many you want out there the first time out. The only thing is...most people do it for the money. I do it for the art. She doing it for the money, and has NO money to even start. What makes matters worst.. She talks a good game plan, but has no art work. She was the one who came to me about it, also, where we were to meet too. So, if you knew this at least 2 weeks in advance, how come you didn't, don't have any art work to show me. Any way, I started making calls back down to New York City. Found out that I can get a small U Haul size truck of cases of blank t-shirts. Seems the place I went to in the past was happy to be doing business with me again. But I told them I was just checking out his prices since it's been a couple of years since I last ordered. Said he can give me the first 3 truck loads at the last price I got from him, love this guy. Later today after work, I'm going to a couple of art stores here and see what their supplies are like, to see if they have what I need. I would dislike to have to order from New York City, but then again the product would be something I'm use to.

Now about Kim. She said about 45 minutes into our first get together, that she would NEVER get with a cigarette smoker. I don't understand this in THIS day and age. But hear this..she DOES smoke weed. Told me she is going to stop smoking by August 15th. She has only been smoking for about 5 years and I told her, she hasn't been smoking if its only 5 years. Dark skinned beauty is what I called her. I'm 5'11", and she fits right underneath my chin with about an inch and a half of room to spare. She is into walking, and I guess she weighs about 120 pounds, nice thighs. She was wearing not sweatpants, but athletic pants that I swear...I'm going to put a picture with this post of what her butt looked like. Its not a picture of her, but it comes very close.

Her bottom was just a little smaller than the one above, but this is what it looked like...I swear. She also went on to say, with her in these pants, that she hasn't had sex in 5 years. It's not like she hasn't had offers, but after 5 kids, she said her 'cookie' is going to a man who earns it. That means to me, if your pockets are phat, then maybe... I wanted to comment on what she said, but its her body and her mouth and she has every right to set a standard. But I did tell her about The Man up above, and she did catch on to what I was saying. 'If you think that your body will get you what you want, why not go all out then? Its what's in your heart because The man up there knows, and He isn't going to let you go forward if you don't at least meet Him half way. You focusing on what another man can do for you, will have very few willing to do for you if you're not at least trying to do for yourself. 5 kids, different father, who wants an already made family in this day and age, times are hard as you can see.' I saw that look in her eyes, and she understood. Plus I told her, I smoke cigarettes, so you can't have none of me, so stop begging.

We sat there for over 3 hours talking about everything about each other. True, I would love to see her naked, I'm STILL a man, but for now she will be a friend. But she knows. She gave me about 3 hugs before we parted and I told her damn, what are you trying to do, pickpocket me? She said no, from the first time we met, after the handshake, we hugged, and I got this feeling when I hugged you. So these 3 more hugs were to see if I got the same feeling, which I did. I asked what was the feeling. She said I'm not going to lie, what it would feel like you holding me with no clothes on. I ask did she really want to know, all she has to do is call me. She then gave me her home number and told me to call her later on that night. I did, and she asked me how would I get out to her place and did I have a bike. I told her no, but it's arriving in the mail this week and to hold on to that feeling. Said she will and can't wait.

Friends first and then...

One of he Qualities I NEED In a Woman Is...

...she has to be well organized. It's like this, I am well organized. So, if we are living together, she should be too.

I know woman like to handle their own business the way they want to, but.. It irks me when they ask my opinion about certain matters, and then they continue to do it their won way that they are used to doing. Then when she can't find something, she expects me to KNOW where it is.

Another thing, screen names and passwords. Okay you have a computer, Smartphone and a tablet. You sign up for things that I think are a waste of time. You set up email accounts all over the place. I know you're not suppose to use the same screen name, and passwords for all the websites that you belong to require that you have then. This is where a notebook comes in hand. Write that shit down so that it will always be there. This woman I know can't get into her expansive ass Mac desktop cause she can't remember her account screen name or password. Funny thing is she bought it from a computer guy who she STILL owes $200 to. She called him and I know the deal, cause I was just hearing her side of the conversation. When she got off the phone, I asked how much you owe him. She asked how did I know this, I said cause you were laughing and you said that you don't know what time you will be home tomorrow. You told him you have a lot to do on Saturday, which you DON"T. See, it's the bullshit.

She is off all the next week cause the school are closed. She has a big as house, with boxes of stuff all over the place. Those big ass containers you find in Walmart...about 30 of them all over the house. They are use to hold her clothes in that she wears. They aren't folded, just thrown in. Nasty. Now she says she is going to go thru the whole house while she is off next week, I told her good luck. She said, oh you're helping me. NO THE FUCK I AIN"T!!! That's your shit, you choose to live like a bum in your own home, that's on you. I wasn't raised to help a person to clean up their own shit. When next week comes, she isn't doing anything that she said she was going to do.

I met a 40 year old woman here. Kim. She has 5 kids, looks good for her age, nice and slim. No car, nice home. And is very freaky. Problem is...she is like Ralph Cradam, Jackie Gleason from The Honeymooners. Always coming up with some get rich quick scheme. From selling clothes, to cell phones and magazine subscriptions. I told her, that's you, do you, but I think you should get a 9 - 5 also. She was a CNA, but from she said, she didn't like doing that. I guess she lives at home with her mother, it's her house? Cause with no income, how are you paying the rent? Like I haven't been in any of the rooms except the living room, so eldely mother is either upstairs some where or down in the basement. She is living off her mother and collecting Public Assistance? I don't know. But I told her this. All I want you for is to drop by when ever you want me to, sex and we go out and do things, she agreed. But I refuse to invest, give lend you ANY money for you ge rich schemes, that isn't me.

Until I find 'her', I will deal with this for now. I know one thing though. The woman I'm living with better get organized this week, or I'm looking for a room to rent. I can't live in clutter.

Just Sitting There...

...minding my own business in her home. Her home phone is ram through her cable company, so Caller ID came on the TV. A 216 area code. I asked did she knew anyone in that area code, no. But she answered anyway. I don't know if she was showing off, but apparently the guy on the phone asked her did she own a car and did she know how o drive. Then she started laughing so hard, she started crying. Then, told the guy that she didn't drive, she flew. Apparently he made another joke cause she started laughing even harder. Total time on phone, 5 minutes.

I tried to explain to her that she shouldn't answer any phone calls from any area code that she doesn't know either one, the caller, and two, she doesn't know where the area code is. But she got really upset with me, telling me that her cable company doesn't charge her for long distance calls. I told her if the call, once you answer it charges you initially $30 to answer and then $9 for every minute, your cable company has NO say so about the charges. You ANSWERED the phone. She kept on about not being charged, so I Googled the number for her, and showed her the results. Then she got really angry, wouldn't talk to me.

Only goes to prove, you laugh now, and the cry later.

???!!!

I just got a text, she told me that her son had got married. I said to myself, well at least he did the right thing. Has a boy and a girl by one woman, girl. And has another child that is less than a year old by some other girl. Did he marry any of those two, no!!

He went and married some other girl who has 3 children already by different guys. I mean, when will this type of madness end? It's not even funny any more. He's 25 years old, no job, how will he support his wife and the kids? But I guess he isn't worried about that. I wonder what his other child's MOTHERS have to say. I know for a fact that he wasn't doing or giving anything to them.

Was talking with a female friend on the phone. And all she could say, all that was coming out of her mouth was that she wanted to marry me for my benefits. Every time she mentioned that, she would then say I was just joking. I had enough and told her something that she needed to hear.  I said...

'You're a 41 year old single parent with 2 children by 2 different guys. Why would I want you for anything else other than just to sleep with you. I'm a catch, I'm single, able to work and in good health. What do you have other than your body, what can you bring to the table? You really think I want to support another man's children? You think that IF, I was to marry you, I would feel comfortable when the child's farthers want to stop by for..so they say to see their kids? Have they been doing that of lately?

I Think..

...I found the female me!!

She was raised as an Army Brat. Her father was stationed with the same division I was in. Their housing was in the housing area that my Post was at. Thing is she was there many years, 6 years later. She just turned 43 years old the other day, and yes, I met her online.

Turns out she is living right outside of Ft Bragg. Two children, and is involved with a soldier that is married and has been for 2 years. Thing is she knew him before he gt married and decided to continue their relationship even though he IS married. She text me the other day how she is home on her birthday with no plans and that who she wants to be with, who shares the same day as her as a birthday, was home with his wife. I told her that she wasn't getting any Birthday Nooky and it went on from there.

She asked what was I doing that night, and if I was getting any, she wanted to know everything. Every thing meaning what I did to lead up to it and what I did to her. The next day I gave her what she wanted in an email. She text back that I have to come to North Carolina and see her. Told me I got her all hot and stuff.

Today she sent an email saying what she wanted done to her...VERY graphic. Then she asked for 2 pictures. I would only send if she sends some back too. I sent any way. Next text was...then she called me. Told me it was photoshopped. Why thank you, but no.

She told me that next month she is moving back to Atlanta, and she wants me to be there with her. I have to think about it.

Just Getting Around

So far I have been on 3 job interviews. 2 of them I was driven to. Yesterday, I decided that I would use public transportation and get to know my surrounding much better. I notice a lot of things.

First thing I notice was the people. Being that I lived in The Bronx, there is a certain style of the way people dress. From the adults to the teenagers and even the little kids. One thing that I notice was that the little kids dress better than their parents. In The Bronx, it's kind of the other way around. Here the young adults and even the adults are still 'saggin'. The teenagers in The Bronx still do it too, but there is a big difference. Here, the teenagers aren't too concerned with how their underwear look, being that that's whats exposed to the public for all to see. I stood at the bus stop with this guy who underwear look as if it was dragged thru the dirt and mud: water, then left out to dry, and then he just so rightly put them back on.

I aslo got a chance to really look at the women too. First let me say, I'm not here to bash the people of my new town that I live in. It's just that...I'm accustomed to see better and the women looking better. This one woman just came right up to me and introduced herself like we were old time friends. She knew by the way I dressed that I wasn't from around here, so she asked me where was I from. I told her. She then questioned why would I want to live here. If you lived in New York City all your life, sometimes you will at some point just get tired of it all. That you will want something quiet, some place just to settle down. She said that she is trying to get away from this place. Well, all you have to do is just go...like I did to come here. She gave me her phone number and told me to call her.

Buses here are only a dollar. The bus can give you a value card up to $20 dollars in single rides. Or, you can get an all day pass for $3. At some stores you can buy a card that's a weekly, 5 days, but... You have to use the card for 5 days in a row, if you miss a day, you lose what ever is left on the card. That's crazy.  If I have  multiple places to go in one day, I would get buy an all day pass on the bus, and keep a card with single rides in my wallet also. I have to get use to where the buses go, what time they leave, but at the bus stop there aren't any timetables to say when the buses arrive. Only downtown, there is a digital read out when the next bus comes. Average wait time for a bus is 20 minutes, not like in NYC where a bus come s almost...well, you don't have to wait long for the next one.

I was a bit confused when waiting for the bus to take me home. I knew it stop at this stop which is a main hub for other buses, but it didn't show up on the digital billboard. Normal thing to do was to ask some one, but... I took a look at the people, and not one of them I felt comfortable asking. Even the adults around my age, it looked like they were out of it. It's hard to explain, but they looked like walking zombies or something, just didn't feel right to go up and ask them any questions. So I did the next best thing, I asked a Police Officer.

The Police here wear like a bright green vest type jacket, I approached 2 of them. I told then I wasn't from around here, but now I do live here and I was waiting for the bus that suppose to stop at this stop. They said when the bus is more than 20 minutes away, it doesn't show up on the digital board. But it does stop here. One of then said good thing I knew to ask a Police Officer because things are kind of crazy here for strangers. I can handle myself and this place may be crazy, but I walk the streets of NYC all times of the night and my Spidey Senses are always active. They were right though, some strange looking and acting people here.

I'm looking for a job, so I did the right thing by asking some of the people I know on this social website that live in this town. I am to meet with some of them later on today.

The Move

First let me say this... Rochester, NY is NOTHING like The Bronx, NY. Buildings, stores, clothes, accents and the women.

What I did notice though...it's the same where ever you go. Met this one woman within 2 hours, while unpacking. Her and her girlfriend came outside to see what the deal was. Her friend ask me straight off, how do she get a big juicy butt. I told her plenty of hitting it from the rear. I asked her how old she was and how many children she has. 36 years old and 3 kids. Told her her days of getting a butt like that are over. But her friend, the one that introduced herself to me, was different.

Single 40 years old and no children. Lives in a 2 bedroom home by herself and looks drop dead gorgeous. I invited myself to her place for dinner. She told me that I wouldn't be having sex with her, so don't even try it. But later, after dinner, she did strip down to just her panties to see what she had. I didn't ask her, I swear. we exchanged numbers and she called me at 8 am this morning for breakfast. Meeting up with her later for dinner in a restaurant.

Its nice here. I can't wait until Spring time actually kicks in. Summer time should be really nice. I'm only 68 miles from the Canadian border. I kind of get a thrill that I'm that close to another country, which really for the people who live here, its like me going from NY to NJ. But I never been to Canada before and I do plan on taking a trip.