The Last Day of The Year and...

It's the last day of the year, and I've learned that eventually everything on your body will and can begin to hurt.

Okay, I can understand my back, and my arms... But my balls, hold on a minute.

Are my balls suppose to hurt? Yeah sure, if I'm I kicked or punched there, yeah okay.. But to hurt for no reason at all? Some may say that this issue needs to be looked further into by paid professional medical people, but I'll be damned if I walk my ass into any damn hospital right about now.

Okay speaking of..this new virus.. Like I'm not really getting any info.. for the simple fact there are no newspapers in this areas. And, since this place doesn't have cable, no news channel to see it on tv. I visited some of my friends homes and they don't have cable, so I'm not seeing any news. Sure the internet. But can you really believe what you read and see on the internet? That one is up for debate.

As this year closes out... I think for the last 2, 3 months or this year I made a mistake. One big mistake..being in a relationship with a younger woman. You wouldn't believe the energy this woman has, it's not even human. But she enjoys me in ways that she said she waited for and wanted her whole life. So I can't complain and I'm NOT complaining except for.. 

Thought it wouldn't happen to me... I thought I could and would go thru my life to the end being able to 'Rise: to the occasion on any given notice. Nope, 'Not happin Captain'. It stated with me going to the bathe5 to urinate. ....wtf?!! How come it like the water in my sink was turned off at the main connection. The flow is so little..and it stops. Then pick up again, but doesn't feel like I'm drained all the way. I Googled my heart and ass off and it looks like my prostate is enlarged. Googling further..'..does interrupt sexual experiences..'.OMG NOOOO!! And me with this 35 year old Hottie too. She understands though, I told her what it might be.  Wait.. I think I now know 2hy my balls ache.. Bluebells?

Another friend, 45 minutes away or so. Meet her on a dating site, but haven't met her in person. We talk over the phone. She says one night.. 'So women just throw their pussy at you, huh?' I tell her.. No, but it does sound like it when you ask me about the women I meet.' She can't grasp what i. Saying because she doesn't have a penis. I hope this is true, but you never know since we haven't met face to face..yet. Men talk out way into your panties, simple as that. Though you as the women made up your mind on if you're going to sleep with us, but it's our conversation that seals the deal. ...and I'm a deal closer. I don't fake or pretent nothing. Women or they/she will know what I'm afer and what I want. I also tell her that it isn't about me sticking my penis in a woman and just getting off for my own pleasure. Each woman is different.. Looks, talks, acts and taste different. Comoare it to food.. One night you want Mexican, next night you want Chinese. And sometimes it's all about the art if the chase. Most women want to feel wanted and desired and stop at that. So e women want to hear what you want to do with and to her. And some women...well, they are just like men too.

I e been here in VA a little over 6 months. Though I haven't teavel much to other parts of Virginia, it's the people. The people here are different from what I am use to. I don't compare them to NYC anymore, that's a waste of time. I just take them for who and what they are. Both make and female. Though I have met more women then men.

2022... I don't want much from it. Basica6 the same thing I got in 2021..just to be safe and make the right decisions. It's not too hard to do either. I just have to look at any situation for what it is and weight the options. One hing indo know 2hwt I want... I want my family to be safe nd protected from harm. I guess that won't be to hard for them to do because they have leveled heads, something I just now started to use.

Merry Fuckin' Christmas

I did something this Christmas that I have never in my entire life had done. I GAVE money as a Christmas gift. Ain't that some shit.

Well, I gave money in total $250 to three different people/persons. One who I am sleeping with, and to her child. And the other who I want to sleep with..who I have never met in person..who I have already sent in total $300 here and there for pictures and videos. Don't EVEN ask, okay.

Like right now I am at the one whom I am sleeping with apartment. She spent the night with her child at her mother's home. I've been here alone since 11:17pm last night...hoping she could get out of spending the night at her mom's house. She couldn't and I was sort of disappointed because two days ago she got a powerful vibrator in the mail and I used it on her. Right now I have :Buddy's, it's the name I'm calling it..I have it plugged in and charging up. This thing is amazing and you women have it good when it comes to..to.. How I I call it? When it comes to Self Pleasuring Thy Self. It has three speeds and I've named them also.

One, a quicky..Intense but not so intense that you di8 want to get up and go about your daily activities. Two.. I call this speed 'Cigarette Worthy'. Yeah this speed does the job and like real time sex, smoke a cigarette afterwards. Three.. This speed is called 'Soul Snatcher Pillow Biter. This speed will snatch all the pain and hurt right out of you..will have you feeling numb as fuck afterwards too, but more.. WILL SNATCH YOUR SOUL FROM YOUR BODY!! Believe me, I have seen this third speed in action. I've welded this Beast and snatched her Soul. And afterwards...I am called 'Baby' 'Sweetheart' and 'Lover'. I was questioned..'You don't have a problem with me using it, do you?' I answered..no, not at all but it comes with me when I leave this apartment. I am NOT leaving IT alone with you in your home. I mean eventually you will have no use for me. She laughed..I didn't see what was so fucking funny. Like really? Ladies get this one, you'll enjoy it. Put it in the hands if your Lover..they will enjoy it even more using it on you. Let me see if I can add these picture. Hold on...

I know, you can barely see it. FUCK!!

The box, see it, Google it or whatever. Thank me later.

She is suppose to come home at 10am...by her lonesome. Her 19 year old cousin is visiting and she said she might bring her over for a couple of hours. I told her NOOO!!! Then I said okay, fuck it. She can join us in bed too. I was waiting for her to say something in the way of, no you're not fucking my cousin AND me at the same time..but she did say anything. Hmmm? NO!! I said I was going to be good. I actually said I was going to TRY and be better but..well, you know.

I have so much..so much shit to do. I mean it's not important, not like that but.. it's shit I want or even maybe need to do. I have some time every now and then, but I want to use that time to do nothing. But let me go and do it now. Fuck!!

Almost a Whole Month Ago...

...I was sane, I had my wits about me. I also knew right from wrong. I wasn't stressed out and I kept to myself. Then I woke the fuck up.

I'm going to try and get thru this post.. Meaning I will hit 'Send' instead of leaving it for later and getting back to..which I never do. So for now on I'm just going to hit 'Send, Publish' or what the fuck ever. It's not that I don't care, no not that. It's just there isn't enough hours in my FUCKING DAY!

I should have never gave her any penis. For real though, I should have listen to that little voice. But I thought being that she is 53 years old..she would have some kind, type of sense about herself. But noooo, I gave it to her two times and that second time sealed my fate.

I have to admit, both encounters were enjoyable, surprised the hell out of me too. But when you don't have any friends, no family..kids don't want to have anything to do with you.. When a person shows you some attention and that person, me..tells you it's ONLY going nd has to be a sexual thing, and you agree to it. NO!! You can't just catch feelings. We both agreed to it as it being what it is..something to release some tension. I do know what to do and it isn't going to be pretty.

I haven't met this one in person yet. I say yet because I'm for real are going to. Can't remember where online I met her, probably Tagged. As soon as I saw her profile picture I wanted her, so I reached out and she answered. Yeah I know, she answers everyone...don't care. So far I've spend about $140 on her. Not through a website, but directly TO her..her checking account. She's a complicated mother of 2 small ones. Mommy by day, Online Sex Worker by night. She says she doesn't do P2P, they all say that though. I'm not going to go to her, already established she is coming to me, when 2honthe fuck knows.

My 'Main Stay'...just turned 35 years old..and has the energy of 2, 3 women. It's strange and different with her. I mean if you look at her she looks like a boy, dresses like one too. Baggy clothes hiding ALL thise curves. What I don't know..she Bi but only has been with two guys sexually. What I don't know about her 'lifestye' I ask, question afer question  She just spoke out..'Ive never sucked a dick before, I want to learn.' Hmmm, interesting. And me who doesn't even like that part if sex let's her practice her sweet heart out as much as she wants to. I know it sound cruel, really it isn't. Told me I have the best looking dick she has ever seen..coming from her after only seeing two others before me. A compliment, yes sir!! She had a delivery of a 'Muscle Relaxer' yesterday...so naturally I tested it out in her. Took our 'Sessions' to a whole different level. ...and yes, I know where your clit is located at. It and I are friends on a separate level from the rest of your being. It calls out to me, whispers to me in my sleep but Nevers enters my dreams.  I...