Wow!!

First...

Okay, I have only told 2 people about what happened to my leg. Yeah, I lied. Fuck, everyone lies. I lied for a very good reason and reasonable.

Foremost, I lied to family and friends. I lied to them because I don't want them worried about me. To tell them the truth would expose them to too much about me and my life and life style. Am I ashamed of it, no I am not. It's just that there are certain things, issues, bullshit..call it what you want.. Certain things they need not know about period. Do I care what they think and how they might judge me? Duh?! Fuck right I do, and I think that's one of my main concerns and only concerns when it come to family.

Okay I lied to friends..sort of. Correction, I told 3 people. 2 makes and 1 female. One of them, I don't expect him to do anything because the fucker threaten me TWICE. The other male, and I will tell you more about him... He isn't from here, but lives here no and he is a Veteran. I respect him because he is 'My Brother in Arms'. I respect him because he is one of many and of few 'who gave their lives that that nation may live'. (Gettysburg Address). So I told him and he was trying to figure out just who this person is, I think he did, but he won't let me know. It's how SOME of US DO.

The female I told. She lies and starts shit everywhere. And when I say everywhere.. I mean in 2, 3 other towns. But she knows who is who and what is what about anything and everyone. I also respect her and her ways, know how she is, and will correct her on shit she tries to put out there in the street about me. I told her what really happened and in her eyes I saw 'things' being formed. But out of her mouth..she was..'oh, okay', and that was it. Again, I saw what was in her eyes, I'll leave it at that.

Tomorrow will be a week since all this shit with me happened. And so far today.. Let's just say I am aware of everything that's happening. What I don't understand is why did his girl called me twice in Monday morning, midday or whatever. It's stores in my phone that she called too. Leaving it there. Then something else went down 2 days ago.

Another friend that I know reached out to me thru text. Told me where he is staying at, I know the address and I know the people that live there..and I KNOW he was told what happened. What is fucking me up and I'm not THAT fucked up about it.. Why hasn't he ask where do I live, I want to come and talk to you about this. But then again I THINK I know why too. It's all about self preservation. I can understand that also. Today, I hope he reaches out to me, probably will. Have to see.

Hot a lot of things to do today. Haven't been doing them because I had someone, a woman who says she wants to help take care of me. Hell, she can barely walk her damn self, she walks with a cane. She stayed over 4 nights and I told her a lie that I was doing this or that, because I needed alone time to take care of some business all across the board. She wants to come back on Wednesday, I'll see.

I have a project I'm working on and haven't since Monday. Gonna try and do catch up today NOW.