It's Not The Bathroom and More, It's The Frig

People base how a person is living in the condition of their bathrooms. I don't, I base it in how your refrigerator looks.

No, it doesn't have to be stocked with food. It has to be clean. I'm sorry, I can not eat at your house if I get a glance and see your frig dirty. I mean think about it. If it's dirty that means the food is dirty.

Another thing is why after you finished cooking you leave the food sitting out for hours. Okay, a Cook down period is warranted, but leaving it out for hours is just asking for trouble. And get mad when I ask or say you should put the food away because it's becoming unusable to eat theinger you sit it out.

Along the lines of that some people just can't cook. It's just me but I like my food cooked, not half way cooked either. I know how I like my food textures to be also and if you can't get to those textures, the first meal I will eat out of a commitment. From there in our, no way am I eating your cooking every again.

And no, I'm not being picky. I just want what is going into my body to be cooked well and to my liking. I understand that you cooked the way you were brought up, but that isn't my way of eating.

You Know How You Can Sometimes Picture...

I remember when I first saw her. I looked her over from head to to toe. She's a full bodied woman, but she isn't slow or lazy. I wasn't staring at her, just glanced every now and then, thought nothing of it.

Out of nowhere she reached out to me. At first, I couldn't...didn't know why. So I said fuck it, I'm just going to be me. If I'm wrong, so what, I'll be wrong.

Funny thing is, I was t wrong. Then again I can't seem to know what she wants or why shebteached out. I invited her over and she says no. I don't know if.. I told her it's good you're saying no. Because if I have you one time, I'm going to keep in wanting you. Of course she wanted to know why, so I told her. I want to experience what uts like making Love to you, and one time will not be enough. 

If course she is a single parent and works. I told her I will be patient and wait. She tells me I'll wait a long time. I don't care, but you saying that...means it will happen. So I'll wait. She told me I'm crazy.

I Know, It's Just That I Get Caught Up in Shit.

Yeah, it's dates for the 22nd and I just oublished it today. Just that...it's so much of nothing that I get caught up into.

Well, since my hard drives age crashed on me and I lost allnthwt work.. Someone came to me with internal hard drives from desktops and I'm making those work. So I had to remember from memory what all I had finished and was working on and it.. 

And it just keep coming to memory. As it came to memory I wrote it down as much as I could remember and then I worked in it. Then something 3kse would pop into my head a nd I would write it down, then work on that. So on and so on and..

I think I have 3/4's I'd 2hwt I can remember worked on and finished. I'm taking my time for that other quarantine come to memory, I know it will. 

November 22nd 10:32pm

I don't know what it is or why it's like this. But I find it very stressful hanging out with anyone my age. I tried, and I always end up in my head screaming running away 

I met this very attractive woman while shopping for food about 2 weeks ago. I was just taking my time. I made it a thing that that day I was going to walk every isle in this Walmart. 45 minutes into my littlenfeild trip I turn the corner and there she was, leaning over her shopping cart reading a label.

Her shopping cart was in the middle. I came up behind her and said.."Beep beep, who got the keys to the jeep, varoooom. Who be who be, it me and Timothy." ...and she just started laughing, and sang 'I can't  stand the rain..against my window." I told her, there you go, as now you will have the song stuck in your head for the next 24 to 36 hours. We browsed the shelves talking. Talked about music from back in the day. She's single, no children, 59 years old. Exchanged numbers. 15 minutes she texted me and asked was I still in the store. Told her I'm doing the whole store, walking every isle. She came back in and walked around with me.

She gave me a ride home, sat in front of my place and talked. I asked her did she want to come inside and hang out, listen to music. She said she will be back, had to take her stuff home and put away. She did come back, with baggy sweat pants in and a sweat shirt. I met her out front and walked her in.  She like the room and said, okay, there it is, the bed. I mean it's one bigd square high ceiling room and you can't mi#s the bed.

Noticed my art supplies and asked was I a good artist. No, I'm into graphics, I don't know what I'm going to draw unt it pops in my head.nShe oicked up my digital camera and I almost lost my shit.

On the camera are about 30 or so pictures of a woman completely naked in differnt positions in my apartment. The sun comes in thru the tall windows, window shades in nice patterns. And I ask this young woman could I take pictures of her in certain poses. Converting the nipples, and vaginal exposures. One thing though, I took the pictures about a month ago and I still haven't looked at them yet. I'm working on something else right now , so I didn't want to crossover ideas just yet.

Well, she took her time looking at them. I told her I haven't viewed them yet. She said they are some great shots, you let the sunlight pattern play with her body, and that I really got close up and personal with the model. I told her it was her skin, the textures and very light hair, almost blonde that made me get real close for certain pictures. I knew she was going to ask me... No I didn't sleep with her

November 18th

I have a lot to say...Ben thru a lot in the past weeks... So, well you'll see.

About 5 months ago I was in a dating app and saw a profile picture of this one woman. I had taken a break from what I was doing, but I left the webpage as it was so I could get back to it. Long story short.. electricity, fuse blown, everything turned off. Restarted everything, laptop acting funny. Did a sys restore and somehow everything, my history got wiped. Looked for her again..and again..and again. Her profile didn't pop up. 5 months later it did. Not only hers but another woman who we were in touch with each other.

I'll call her 5 months woman, well she answers me back..after I told her I was searching for her profile from the first time I saw it. Told her that I completely understand you're not on here looking for anything, but I also told her it's a dating website. What I texted her in the app was 6 huge paragraphs...I went with what I was feeling. She answers back, I was shocked. She said I was wrong, but mostly true. So now..I sent her another text in the app to reach out to me. Haven't heard anything yet.

So the other woman, I saw her profile and saw her updated contact info. She left a message about something or the other. So I emailed and she responded back in less than 5 minutes with her cell number. I call and she said yeah, she wanted to reach out too after I clicked on her but she said she was afraid. She told me she lives 45 minutes away and that if I wanted to come over I can meet her at a McDonald's. Me with no car, I asked can she come to me and I will meet her in front of the police station. 90 minutes later she shows up and says she can't believe she did something like this. We talked, sat in her car and she asked how far away do I live from where we were sitting in her car at. Ibsaid it took me 7 minutes to walk here. She went for the door and told me to drive.

She called 3 people agter coming inside and asked to see something, mail with my name and address in it. Took pictures of my mail, ID card and me and texted emailed it to her three friends. I told her that that was smart. Talked some more ordered Chinese Food, watched TV..it's 1:37am. Asked can she use the bathroom, but before she closed the door she said, I guess I'm sleeping over.

She left at 10am the next morning and told me that she has been on many dates before but nothing like this one. She said how come men are t as smart or think along the lines as you do. Like I suggested the police station, and she said that that made her feel Super comfortable. Conversation made her feel even more so. Inasked when did you decide you wanted to sleep over. She said when I ordered Chinese Food, she told me I made her feel Special.

We both agreed that we don't know when we will see each other again. She isn't busy at all, it's just it was something that she needed and I just happened to have all the fixings to make the pot. Wow!!

November 4th Part A

People, friends ask me what do I do all day. I tell them whatever I feel like doing. And sometimes I do nothing at all.

Today I went food shopping. I spent about $90 on just food. What I purchased can last me 3 and a half weeks. It's all frozen and it fits in my freezer nicely. With what I still had in there, I could go a month with out buying any food. But it usually doesn't last that long. Friends come over and they ask is there anything to eat. I tell them wash their hands and look in the freezer.

Earlier this week one of my female friends stopped by and she had her girlfriend with her. My friend said stop looking her, she has a boyfriend. But I was talking to both of them. On Wednesday my friend's friend text me and told me that she was at my back door could she come in. I let her in and asked how she get my number. I knew how she did. She said all she wanted to do was come and hang out with me. Nothing else. She stayed for about 3 hours, fell asleep too. Woke her up and she asked can she stop by anytime I said yeah, no problems.

My friend called me and started yelling at me saying I was full on of shit and that I told you she had a boyfriend and all kinds of stupid shit. I asked her what did she tell you. That woman told her that we slept together. I told her we didn't she came, fell asleep and left when I woke her up. She asked me why did she lie and said that you did sleep with her. I told her you have to ask that.

It's not about having sex all the time. Because if I do, what else is there to look forward to. A guy friend told me that I have a lot of people over. It's company. I like alone, but I'm not lonely. But you just can't walk up to the house I live in and get inside. You have to have a key. Or, you have to call me to get inside.

I will be glad when it starts getting a little colder too. Not too many people outside or want to go outside. I know I won't be going out as much.

November 4th

I've notice something... If I want to know something, anything... I ask. I'm not a pig and I do know how to ask too.

I'm coming from the store and a car drives by. I look and it's a woman driving it. As I get half way down the block, same car comes, it's a one way street. I slow down, car slows down. Same woman. She says one thing.."Hi, how are you doing?" And that's all she said. Nothing else...and she is silent. It's a one way street and there are two cars behind her and they can't pass. I tell her to circle back the way she came, and when she sees me to pull over. 

I get there before she does. Where she pulls iver to is right in front of where I live. I tell her my name, she tells me hers, Casey. I ask so what's going on. She's nervous as all hell, so I start talking and..just start talking. She good looking, healthy in the face and from what I could see, a nice shape, figure.

Ive must have said the right things, because she said it's hot in her car and she gets out. Yep, sweet looking body. If a woman circles past you one time and comes back only means one thing. She is interested in you. She's married, husband is out of town, no children, nice day and she say me. I tell her I live right there, pointing to the house, and ask her does she want to come inside. I tell her I'm perfectly safe. I give her my ID and tell her to lock it inside her car somewhere that I don't know where and I turn my back. She says okay, and asked me how much is the rent. 

Walking to my house I tell her I was at the shelter and I also tell her my last name and then I say, no me and him are not related. We walk inside the house and go to my apartments. She likes it and looks at all the stuff I have on the counters. I'm sitting on the bed and her in the sofa..she asked did I have a girlfriend, no I tell her. I ask her why? Is it because you want to have sex with me? She said well yes..but not just yet.  We talk some more and then she goes to the bathroom.

My phone rings and it's a friend if mines asking what I'm doing. I tell him I have company and I will call you when my company leaves. She comes out of the bathroom in just her panties, and sits on the bed.

I did not have sex with her. But she was left satisfied. Gave me her number. I walked to the car with her and she asked me why I didn't have sex with her. I told her I am a gentleman, and maybe next time if you call, we will. Gets in her car and drives off.

See, I wasn't looking forward to having sex with her. I don't know her but she knows what she wants and wanted to do. It was that I just happened to be passing by and I caught her eye. It could have been anyone who caught her eye.