Don't You Hate It When.....

don't you hate it when you really want to do something, but that
something..... Well, that something doesn't leave you with enough time
to take care of other things you REALLY have to do.

I hate saying no sometimes, then there are times when I say no with no
problems at all. To me it feels like I've let that person or people
down. What comes first to me, as I feel like I'm turning into an old man
now, is that I MUST get my rest, my sleep. Especially when I close, then
turn around when I have to open in the morning. With no rest, I get
cranky, bothered and in my field that can't happen. I hope family and
friends understand this.

Before I went to sleep last night, 10:23pm, I broke down the hours of my
days. 3pm to 10pm I worked, got home went to sleep. Woke up at 5am and
have to work from 7am to 3pm. Now today that leaves me with 14 hours
before I have to wake up again. I've come to realize that Sunday to
Monday is not a good time for me to do anything but work and sleep. Any
other day of the week is okay, but those 2 days are off limits. Its that
little voice in my head talking to me.....sleep, sleep.

I'm finding that I have NO time for anything really. I'm finding that
I'm giving up rest time in order to make family happy. So when I do go
and see them, I fall sleep where I sit, and that's bad. Cause what they
tell me is that I've should have stayed home. If I had did that, I
wouldn't hear the end of it.

On Thanksgiving, I'm the only one working in the deli on that day. Good
thing is that I'm only 8 minutes from home by walking. Not so good thing
is that when I do get home, I'm gonna be way too tired to go and spend
time with family. Oh I could, but then I will feel like shit in the long
run and I don't want to feel like that. Is this what they call the Rat
Race? I guess it is.
--michaelchappell

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