....now wait just a minute

I have about 125 online friends, though I'm not in touch with them all the time. Lets say about 15 of them actually email me, call me, and me call them. Last night one of them, her name is Jan, reached out to me and said she needed to hear my voice. Hear my voice for what I asked, well emailed her. She said she just wanted to talk over the phone, so she gave me her phone number and I called. We talked for 3 hours, and I dislike talking on the phone. Why she wanted to hear my voice was because of what I said. I told her I needed a girlfriend to keep me warm at night, she can leave in the morning, but night time would be nice to have her around. At first I thought she was taking offense to what I said, when in fact, she was wondering why I don't have some one there already. I told cause I just don't. I know nothing of this woman other than what she tells and have told me. She's single, with a grown child, say 19 years old. She lives in Virginia, and always wanted to visi...

Ok, you know I have been kind of 'diggin'' on you for like almost a year now. You gave me your number, and we have had some decent conversations too. I not seeing things, but its safe to say that we both want the same thing from each, some one to talk to, and to spend with. But now you're telling why you are moving to my side of Queens. All I can say is this. No matter what you do, you will always be running, so stop right now. Let him know where you stand with him, get it over with. If you choose to be alone, so be it, I understand. I would rather you be alone with no one, instead of you with me and him in our conversation. I hope you understand this. Feel free to call me at any time you want to. --michaelchappell

--michaelchappell

Ten mintues before I get off from work, and I just now got to take a break. Lucky me --michaelchappell

'I'm Tired' lets take a look at that phrase. Example. Work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 3 weeks, would you be tired ? I'm not working 16 hours a day, more like 8 to 10 hours, buts its also what I'm doing during those hours. My co worker is out for another 2 weeks. I guess if I got hit by a fire engine in my car, and my car was totaled, and it wasn't my fault, I think I too would be out from the job. Since he's out, I'm working 7 days a week, plus making all the dishes that he was making. I still have to make mine, plus cook for the steamtable and wait on customers also. I didn't even want to come to work today. I woke up at 6:30am, when normally I'm out of the house by 5:45am. Good thing I'm about 8 minutes away from the job. I dragged ass the whole day too. Just 50 more minutes, and I'm home. Don't have to be at work on Sunday until 3pm. What I really need is a day off. I would stay home and sleep off and on through out the wh...

Here I am sitting, Lextington Ave, 125th trainstation, downtown side, waiting for the 4 or 5 train so I can get to 59th Street. Then catch the R one stop, catch the E, for one stop, then catch the F train to the last stop. THEN...walk 8 blocks home. And why am I doing this. Cause it Martin Luther Kings Birthday, that's why. But there is a problem, and this shit pisses me off. Ok, its a holiday, and I'm not predujice or anything, but there's not that man white people out riding the trains. Mostly Latinos and Blacks are riding. Now the 4 and 5 train connections everyone to downtown Manhattan and Brooklyn, or uptown to The Bronx if you're going in the other direction. Wouldn't you know it, there is NO 5 train in either direction !! Oh thers the 4 train, but no 5. You can transfer around to get to where you're going and then take one of the letter trains. I've been sitting here for 15 minutes and no lie, 7, 6 trains going downtown has past by...I just got on the...

Ok, I'm 50 now. What's the retirement age, 67 for men ? I don't know, either way, that 17 years away...FUCK !!! I don't feel like an old fart, nore do I smell like one. But they say as you get older, you don't smell your own shit. I don't want to start dressing like the way peoplee who are 20 years younger than me do. Nowadays I hardly wear sneakers anymore, but that's not because its cold, its because of my feet. I need something more stable if I stand on the 8 to 9 hours a day. Retirement, oh yeah. Ok my bills as of right now. I owe my Moms 120 dollars, 500 amnoth for rent 34.99 for internet, 10.88 for minutes on my phone, 20 dollars for XM Sattilite radio reception, and it varies 20 to 30 dollars a month for my sidekick, lets say 30, at 1 dollar a day. That's my bills. If, I can find a job like in some foriegn country as a cook, where it all the time warm, I thing I could afford it. Hell right now, I could afford to retire if I was 67 years old. I jus...

On Saturday afternoon, right after work, I went to an ex girlfriends for dinner. I wasn't really planning on eating anything or that much, just talk and try to re connect with her. She was the one who called me and invited me over. My stomach is very picky, I mean I will almost try anything...but. But there are some foods that I KNOW I shouldn't eat, so I stay away from them. Now, I know there are certain foods I shouldn't eat at certain times of the night. Homemade fishcakes, grits, eggs...are for sure. Imagine this feeling. Some one takes your heart and just grips it and squeezes it with all their might. That along with an upset stomach and a headace. I wasn't planning on spending the night, didn't have to be at work the next day til 3pm, but I wasn't in any condition to make a 2 and a half hour ride on the train. I left at 4am and was home by 7am, feeling even worst. She called me telling me that she was disappointed, but not in me though, but I think she was...

Since I couldn't really afford 125 dollars up front like that for a new SK, this is what I did. A co worker, who, is like me when it come to electronic, computers, had a BRAND NEW Acer Aspire One Netbook, and he wanted 300 for it. I told him I will give him 50 right now, and 50 a week til its paid off, if he brings it the next day. I let people know that I would be have the said item, brand new, valued at 379, for 250 dollars the next day. People said that they wanted to buy it. So when my co worker bought it in the next day, I told people it was going for 200. People balked at that price, so I lowered it to 175, 150. Sold it for 150 dollars. I know you're saying, you bought something for 300, but sold it for 150, half the price, yes I did. But I got the item in my hands for 50 dollars, sold it for 150, and have a Sidekick again. Paying that 50 dollars a week isn't gonna break me in any way. All I would have done was spent it or saved it. What I gained was trust. Sometimes ...

I have to say this, I will be 50 years old this year. I hate thinking about it too. Said I was gonna give some things up, and start some things new...Aww what da fuck...PARTY !!! I was so use to not having a Sidekick and all. But some people hollored at me and asked why I don't call. I couldn't call cause all my phone and emails were on my SIMS card, in my Sidekick. Couldn't access the info. See how we, I, became so attached to this little piece of technology. Oh I write the numbers down sometimes, but then I throw them away once I enter them in my SK. For now on, I will have them in a address book that I can write in. There are some people I want to stay in touch with, and others, out of touch. Sometimes having friends suck the energy right out of you. But then again when you're use to doing the same thing all the time, change can and will become hard. I bought the New Year in with my ex, I have to. If I don't, I know I will have a bad year. Drunk 2 bottle of champ...

Its been, I think a couple of months. If not that it sure feels like it. Went thru a little sumfin, sumfin cause sidekick feel in some water. Couldn't afford 125 dollars just out like that, right about now. It was hard for a couple of days too. Was hearing'new message' all the time, but it was all in my head. So much to talk about, soooo much to say. I say, lets get started --michaelchappell

Its been happening and going on for many years...the starting of a new year that is. I always say that I will do things differently this year, but I never follow through. Its not that I don't try or anything, its just that just with everyday, just waking up and doing what I have to do, doing what I need to do gets lost along the way. Its been a good year, in fact, the year has been so good that it flew by. That's how you ca tell what type of year you have had. There have been some people that I wanted to get to know a little better, and some that I would have liked to re established a connection with. But thats the thing, people have other plans and you try not to get in their way. This year, one thing I'm really going to do for sure, take MORE time out for ME !! This means doing what I really want, and not what people want or need me to do. Its all good though and I'm looking forward to this year 2010.