....now wait just a minute

Hold up, the baby isn't even a month old so how can the baby's father not shit. Sometimes you can see what your children are going to turn out to be. All you have to do is sit back and watch how mothers, single mothers treat their children. I don't care what you say, you children aren't your best friends. They are to respect you, fear you as the parent. This fear sometimes will ouch them in the right direction. Not unless you're me, and just want to see what happens if I/you took a left instead of a right. This one guy told me that I have to have a 'hustle'. I looked at him like he lost his mind. I asked him did he know 2hay the word meant and he told me that it means get money by any means necessary. This was a couple of years ago and I still think he is doing time. I see this certain Spanish woman almost eve5 time I get off the train on my way home. Yesterday she stopped me. She works in Food Service a d apparently at her job they need people because she a...

Last night one of my friends texted me asking can they call me. She said she really needed to talk to someone, so I answered yes. First thing she said was that she has always had a thing for me since the first day we met,but she thought I was into light skinned woman and passed her by. I replied no, that wasn't it. It was that you never looked my way to show any intrest. Well she married a guy she have known for 7 years and the last four years they have been married has been pure Hell. She said that things don't happen in the bedroom..and that it never happened since they have known each other. From the start she knew that his penis didn't work, but he liked her and she figured that sex isn't everything, which she is finding out now IS. So where do I come in?  She wants to have an affair with me, just for sex. I said NO, and I have my reasons. So, you want to mess around  with me, hotels and stuffy..then go home to him? No, leave him and get your own place and we will g...

Do you know what boggles my mind, but I deal with it because I have no control of it... Other people, other people's way of thinking on how I should react, what I should say and how I feel. Like I said before. The MAIN reason why I don't hang out with others is because I don't know what or whom are after them. I'm saying I don't know what kind of shit they have got into before they met up with me. Like that other person may be just waiting for the right time to get some work in and here I come, meeting up with their intended victim. No this person has to not only take the person I'm meeting up with, but also me. I'm only accountable for my actions. So I lost a couple of friends or family members on FB just because I post what I liked and what I feel. See the problem I have with FB is that most people air their disagreements and their problems on it. I think it's a cry for help or that they want people to feel sorry for them. Take for an example... A woma...

My FB is so damned tamed. I mean...I want to release the Demon in me, but I'm afraid to. And yes, I'm afraid on how it would look if people, certain people would by chance want to check up on me. Not to actually check up on me but to see what's in my head. I'm about to say Fuck It, it's me live with it.  I'm going to really think about it this coming week. Proba ly get a lot of people off my friends list IF I decide to let the Demon loose. 'Release The Kraken'🤪🤪🤪

Hold up.. I thought ALL cows are grass. I just used some Skimmed Milk that said it came from Grass Fed Cows.

Bullshit u have to put up with.

4:29am... I found out what her visit was for,she told me. She said that she has been talking about me to her girlfriends nfor the longest. She told them she didn't know how she let me slip away. I told her it was both of us, we didn't do anything to each other, we just didn't communicate any more. Her visit was to see who was in my life, girlfriend or whatever. But she knew that I wasn't seeing any one other than just taking my ass to work and then home. She said she wanted to see if moving to NYC would suit her, but after a couple of days here...it's overwhelming to her. Too many people and cars, too much happening all at once and she said she got nervous. She understands why I stay at home when I get off from work. So her only option was to see if I would move to her place...with some rules involved. See I have a problem when there are rules involved, but she told me that I would like her rules. She will only cook for her children first, and then if there is some ...

 I don't normally do shit like this but...she is a guest in my home and she IS sleeping in my bed so... I whispered in her ear asking what does she wants for breakfast when she wakes up. She mumbled surprise me. I'm making french toast, beef sausages, scrambled eggs and grits. The she says, I want to go shopping for some food and make dinner for us tonight. Dinner? I thought she was leaving this afternoon so I questioned her on this. She says she can leave on Sunday when I get home from work. That she is getting the much needed rest here with me, than she would be at home with her kids and her friends always knocking or calling her on the phone. Which... Her cell phone has been on silent the whole time. Caught her looking at it. No one texts her or even called. She says if there is an emergency with my kids, they have your number also and know to text you instead of calling. She didn't ask me what I want for dinner, so I guess she is going about it all on her own. I told he...

 22 years behind bars...in a cell...with people who MAY want to kill you is Hellish enough for anybody. What people really wanted was life...better yet, the death penalty. But get this... People see people they KNOW commit crimes and when asked by the Police...they get quieter than a Church Mouse and don't and haven't seen shit. How in the world you call yourself a decent person when you wish and hope for death for another person. For anyone to kill anyone isn't right. But I don't see taking another person's life because they killed NO MATTER who the fuck it is they killed. I still say this... If that man had been living sort of a righteous life, he would never have had that man's knee on his neck. I'm sorry, but then again I'm not for saying this. I LOVE to read, I LOVE taking showers when I want to... I enjoy making decisions on what I want to eat for my meals. I also enjoy seeing women walking about doing their thing, either going to work or just goin...

 For all we know Britney Spears MIGHT actually be Bat Shit Crazy.

 She told me that she is amazed how I can stay indoors the whole damn day...hoping that I will show her around today. So, since she does have a car, I guess I can show her some choice places in The Bronx... Take her for a ride down 125th Street, drive past The Apollo so she can take some pictures. The thing is I will have to do the driving. She isn't use to all these cars on the streets. About 1:37am she woke me up and asked me if I am ever going to 'touch' her. I said if you want me to, you have to tell me, or just ask. This left her speechless. She asked me why does she have to ask me. I told her if you want something you ask for it, simple. Then she asked, but don't you want me. I do, and you know this...but you have to want me also.

 My aim was to stay indoors all damn day and do nothing but... After making breakfast for two, I decided, 'Hey, shouldn't I do SOME sort of cleaning today?'  Though I wonder when are they going to make it possible for a little robot to do EVERYTHING, I guess I have to bend my back and do it myself. Funny thing is... It's you start on ONE thing, then it turns into a WHOLE OTHER thing.  But I forced myself and stuck to the basics. Sweep & mop the floor, dust of TV, and clean all 4 laptops. The laptops were the main thing.  When eating chicken WITH ranch dressing, your laptop keyboard DOES tend to get messy as fuck. I WAS going to go to the beach but it seemed cloudy outside so I declined. But NOW... It's after 12 noon and I don't want to be at a crowded beach with God knows what BAD things are there lurking. On my ride to and from work, I catch up on my sleeping. I know, I know...it's not the safest thing to do, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes. ...

 First off. Why, for all that is Holy, why did they cancel the TV show 'Debris'? And just when it was starting to get good. Now I'm watching a series called 'Goliath', starring Billy Bob Thorton. I think I was watching it back at season 1 but lost interest. There are three complete seasons and so far 5 shows in the first season has me hooked. Early Thursday morning...VERY early, like before my wake up at 3am..a friend texted me saying she drove down to NYC, where did I live at. I sent her my address and within 20 minutes she was outside my door. We had a 'thing' about 7 years ago. But somehow we just stop getting in contact with each other and I don't know why. She's in town until Saturday afternoon and then she's driving back. She's been doing some shopping, finding her way around the city on her own which is good. I'm off for the next two days and I am NOT open to play a Tourist Guide to ANYONE. She told me to act like she isn't her...

I thought I made a post about..but I guess I thought I did. A week ago I wasin terrible pain after work. It felt like my left calf down to the ankle had a very bad headache. And, my right shoulder was so damn tense that I could hardly turn my head. Both of these issues came about after I started back working after not having worked for 14 months. I guess at work I tried to do too much too soon. When I got home in Wednesday I took 2 pain and 2 muscle relaxers..something I knew nothing about doing. I was in that much pain. I feel asleep, but work up a whole day later. The effects of taking that many pills scared the fuck out if me. Like.. I slept a while 24 plus hours. It's like I almost didn't or couldn't wake up. I threw the medications away. Since the VA hasn't opened their doors for seeing oatie5 yet, this prescription was filled by virtual. Never again will I do this.

Got home last Wenesday at 5pm. In so much pain, leg..I don't know from what though. I think it's from being out of work for over 14 months..and then going back and bring out of shape and with the weight gain. I took muscle relaxers and two pain pills which was a BIG mistake. I work up at 3:27am..on FRIDAY morning. I slept thru Thursday!! I'm off on Friday and Saturday. Check my phone and my Manager had called. I didn't have the balls to call her and besides,naw fuck it. Came in to work on Sunday felling really bad. Body qchingi g, slight headache and something strange was going on. All during my shift in Sunday I was seeing shit. I mean out of the corner of my eye and in reflections. I shit you not, I thought I was losing my mind.  I found out what the deal was...I wasn't suppose to take both the pills at the same time, and surely NOT two pills each. And, one of the pills side effects are you start seeing shit.

For any man who says they dislike going to the beach..RETHINK the situation.

Hold the fuck up!! You mean to tell me that you motherfucker who are STILL collecting unemployment checks GET a tax refund check BECAUSE YOU COLLECTED AN UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK?!! Get the fuck out!!  What kind of Fuck Nut shit is that?!!!🤪

 I'm not afraid to get on planes, not afraid of flying but.. YOU fuckers don't know how to act on a plane for real. This guy that's popular on YouTube, his videos, speaking some REAL shit.  But as always SOME women don't want to hear it and and are always going against the grain. Just viewed a video of his on my FB feed that someone posted. No comments except for one calling him Gay. Honestly, what does him being Gay have anything to do with it. Ladies, I know you have it hard and have always have and always will have it hard.  Because some men have led you in the wrong direction doesn't mean that you just give up. But lately, the women I have a chance to talk with IN person...their attitudes have completely changed. It's..'Get what I can get because I have been without for far too long.' This one woman just came right out and told me that she was hungry and that I was to take her to get something to eat. Since she demanded that, I asked her what color p...

The Mayor of NYC is giving a parade in the 7th if July for 'Drontline Workers'... I say BLAH!! What about the people who SUFFERED AND SERVIVED THROUGH THIS PANDEMIX SO FAR WITHOUT THE HELP IF ANY FRONTLINE WORKERS? Where is the THANKS for making it thru AND continued to STAY in New York City through it all.  WHERE IS THE..Thank you for hanging in there when the city basically shut down and food was hard to come by because of no work?  They will keep on and continue to thank those people for doing THEIR DAMN JOBS!! ...while the Homeless STILL ARE SUFFERING!!! This City should be doing more for those who can't so for themselves. Oh sure..you say that NYC does more for the Homeless than any other City but..NYC SHOULD BE DOING MORE, SET THE FUCKING TREND!! But of course that will never happen until... One of the Homeless kills someone of great statue and then MAYBE they will do something.

 A Lady friend of mines stopped by last night after she texted me asking what was I doing. I texted back about to eat some ice cream and brownie cheese cake. She replied, 'Hold up, give me 15 minutes.' This woman was going through some emotional shit because she ate the WHOLE gallon of ice cream. Thank God she left my cheese cake alone. She has a man/boyfriend but is going through some bullshit with her. From what she says, he isn't interested in her body, making Love to her anymore. WTF?!! I mean she has the trifecta..face, body and conversation, but he isn't into her like that any more. Is he cheating on her? From what she says, she doesn't even care anymore. It's been almost 18 months since they last made Love. I tell her it's because of the Pandemic. I asked her so why did she come over to my place then. She said to talk and that I make her feel good about herself. I don't understand some of us men. They can have a beautiful Loving woman at home and ...

 So a friend of mines is working for Pepsi in the state he lives in Kentucky. He Messengrs me and tells me that he is being paid $19 an hour, a break every two hours and is part of The Union. I tell him.. 'What, I'm suppose to stop what I'm doing and MOVE to Kentucky? Isn't this the same place where you live when a couple of years ago they were getting on your case for living on a block that was ALL White? No thanks!!' He tells me he moved to a Black neighborhood and doesn't have that problem anymore.  I said.. So they ran your ass out of THEIR neighborhood?  But he tells me that if I were to move there he can get me a job and put me up at his place. I then call him. I asked him is he still married to that same woman. He told me yes, but they aren't together but they are living in the same house. That he pays her rent for his room he lives in. I asked..isn't this the house that you purchased? He said yes and that he is STILL making payments on the house....

 So, you 'Skinny Bitches' who GAINED all that damn weight over the Winter AND the Spring time are NOW claiming it's a 'Big Girl Summer'. NEWS FUCKING FLASH!! It's been ALWAYS a BIG GAL Period!!  See, a Big Woman doesn't need to claim JUST one Season...nope. She CLAIMS them ALL and HAVE BEEN for YEARS!! It's just that you SKINNY women just didn't get the memo or even bothered to open the email.  See Big Women have been claiming shit from the get go. You can tell by the way she walks, talks and the clothes she wears. She IS comfortable in her skin. At the beach.. Let's just say she has no problem letting all the world see her curves. Sure some men THINK they can take her on, but you better come correct and I don't mean with what you say to her either. Because in her head she is thinking..'Okay, I'll give him a try. I'm ONLY going to operate at 35% and take it up a notch every two minutes or so.'  HER on her hands and knees, ONLY...

Just finish chatting up a storm with my 'Traffic Cop' friend. She tells me that I must be back to working and that she is SO happy for me. ??? ...because,now that you're working again,it won't make me think you're after my money when we hook up again. LOL. I tell her.. The only time you will be able to even catch up with me is on my day off..if you can find me...if I answer my phone and.. IF I decide to text your fine ass back since you told me you thought I was afateryour money. Ladies, not all men are after your money. Maybe all we want is that body of yours. Okay, throw in a home cooked meal, but that's just about it. And it wasn't like I didn't have any money when I was out of work for 14 months. I was on a very Very VERY strick budget. She tells me well why didn't I say so. WTF?! She Al mention that she wants her ass phat and full this Summer. I told her too late for that, you should've been working on that during the Winter and Spring time....

I set out to go do my laundry very early this morning. Standing outside is a neighbor who just recently purchased a used car, one of her tired is flat. As I walk by I asked did she have Triple A,she doesn't know what that is. I asked did she know how to change a flat tire, she said no. Being that when I DO run into her in passing, we flirt HARD. Her telling me that I couldn't handle her and that I need to get a physical first before anything else. So... I tell her she has three options. One, drive the car to a flat repair shop.. Two, fix it yourself, or.. Three, jump in the back seat, take off the panties you're wearing, give them to me and I will fix it for you. She thought hard and ask the ONE question women always ask when I ask for their panties..' What are you going to do with them?' Nothing really, just knowing and YOU knowing you gave them to me is enough.  Well, she said no because she doesn't have any on, they all say that. So I instructed her on how to...

I thought I saved it...so I can go back to it. Now I have to search my History from 4 days ago and get it from there. Okay, okay..it's a short 4 minute porn clip but.. This Was NO FAKING IT!! Shit was intense af too. I wish I could post it here, but nope, not gonna do it.

This guy told me he makes more money then me on unemployment. I told him that may be true. But don't you want to work? I mean.. Naw, don't you want to work, get out of the house and meet and see other people than those you have been seeing for over a year that live on your block. He looked at me stupid.

I have a feeling they are going to extend une6 benefits for another quarter until the end of the year. If that's so.. There will be a mad rush of people looking for jobs come January 2022. It's going to be crazy. People don't know... You start saving for Christmas in June. Right after Thanksgiving IF they were to extended unemployment benefits..people are going to get crazy. 

Yesterday at work I said I would make Tacos for all my coworkers. I purchased all the stuff I needed. Kept in mind some don't eat meat, pork.. $45 worth of stuff. Today, the managers purchased everyone lunch. WTF?!! Oh well, my stuff goes in the walk in for another time then.

 I guess it wasn't TOO hard for Kanye to MOVE the fuck on from Kim K huh? A woman can have a pretty face, a BOOMING body and all the money in the world but... But if you treat me like shit...and actually have something with me losing my fucking mind... I'm out. She may be worth millions, but Mr. K is worth BILLIONS!!! ....and he has already moved on from her from what I've read and seen on TV. I wonder who Kim K is going to hook up with next.

Why is it that all of a sudden people state they have expensive taste when it comes to someone else paying for the meal. Listen... Your taste aren't expensive as you think it is. You want it to be because..we'll bevause it seems nice. But I will play along with your silly game and see where it takes me.

Last three days I've been hot as hell. Can't sleep,and if I do get to go to sleep, I'm awaken by sweat...which pissed me the fuck off. So hot that I haven't been eating when I get home from work because it's too damn hot to eat. I should be making some cold pasta salad, tuna with mayo.. But when I get home,too fucking drained to do anything. Waiting for the twin now, and I've made up my mind that's 2hat I'm going to do. Make pasta and tuna, force myself to.

You know..it's great that New York City is opening up more and more each and every day but.. The Mayor needs to do something about how dirty the streets are becoming in my area. When the Pandemic was at it's most, people stayed home. Now that things have eased up a lot, the streets are dirty. How come NYC's Sanitation isn't imposing fines on stores for no cleaning the area their stores occupy. My walk to the train station is like a War Zone with garbage all over the place. I'm surprised it doesn't drink to high Heaven, but that doesn't mean it should continue to stay on the ground.

I'm outside on my 10 minutebreak and a guy approaches me wear a down coat,shorts and flip flops on. He asked me did I have a Newport for him. Before I could answer,he says he wants to tell me a story. It's hot as fuck outside and I don't want to hear no damn story but... He says he died yesterday and told me what he saw. I didn't believe him u til he showed me his hospital bracelet, yep dated yesterday. I asked 2hy isn't he still in the hospital then. He says what he saw scared the Hell out of him and he wanted to get more good days in before he died forever.

Hold up.. Wasn't she talking a few months ago about.. She WAS wearing baggy clothes so that people couldn't see her real figure, well... ..and yes, I downloaded and read her article in June's issue of Vogue. What has me all fucked up is the way she looks. WOW!!  Just looking at her pictures and not Googling just yet.. she doesn't have a boyfriend and she hasn't had GREAT sex yet. Now let me Google and see. Hold up... Yep..not dating and has had one relationship in her last. Is wouldn't be too surprised if she's Gay. But her pictures are great looking. So that's what she has been hiding under all those baggy clothes.

For three days I did nothing at all. When I say nothing, I didn't brush my teeth, didn't even take a shower. I woke up, ate something and went back to sleep. I think I did this 5, 6 times. This went in for three days. I do remember hearing my cell phone ring a couple of times. Usually I have it on silence, for got to put it on that. A bunch of text messages..the only one I focus on was my fine ass Mexican friend. The message said she hasn't seen me Ina couple of days to stop by when I get a chance. I didn't bother to text her back, goi g to stop at her place on my way home from work today. She knows I want her but she said all I want to do is play house with her and not marry her. She wants kids but will only have them if she's married. She is on her 5th boyfriend so far this year. She dumps them because her sex drive is crazy and they can't keep up with her. Her limit is 5 no's, the 6th one and it's over. I told her that I want to bury my face in her as...

Some women are surprised by how hot it has got...and are now choosing to stay indoors for that reason..AND another reason. I know of two single women who are not dating for the simple fact that this Pandemic has..well let's say they gain a few extra pounds. To me they look great, but it's their stomachs that they are concerned about. Staying in the house with no AC is going to drive them bonkers. Both has said they want to go to the beach with me on my next day off..but don't expect me to see them in a swimsuit. I say this... If you eat, you gain weight without getting some sort of excersis. I will see them in a swimsuit though.

I don't know but... With all these streaming services, the only thing I say they are good for is when you missed something on regular TV, you can find it on a streaming service. Though some of the services DO have original content...sometimes, it's just good for watching something you missed on regular TV. Notice since everyone is getting vaccinated crime is continuing to rise. I guess it's that those who can't find or don't want to work find it much easier to take from those that do. But those youngsters shooting out in front of a bodega...that was a turf war type thing. All in all people tempera are rising and what is need in NYC is another Stimi Check to hit their accounts and mailboxes. It WILL calm most down for a couple of weeks. Let's see.

So some relief was given to us for rent. The only thing is..ALL of God's children is trying to get it all at the same time. I went to the website, received an email to confirm my email and..next page says I was BLOCKED from accessing the website..WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!!  Gotta keep trying though. No matter how you look at it, Man kills for survival. But then you have some 'Man' who kills just for the sake of killing.  Me, Army,West Germany, Winter,Special Weapons.. A 1 Star General approached me during a Special Weapons Stand Down.. America is about to be hit with the biggest Nuclear bombardment know to man,this button will..And I pushed the button. No fucking questions asked,no thinking it over..pushed that shit. I was told have have issues that I should look into.

My cell phone rang and a nano second before the number appeared it said 'Scam Lady's...DECLINED! Is that a new thing and I'm slow to noticing it or.. Is it that I always let my calls go...go to voicemail if anything. I never answer my phone unless I say or the person says I will call you right back.

If you were born, raised and lived in New York City PRE Pandemic...but left when shit got ruff here and.. And if you didn't come back to LIVE in New York City TODAY, the day after Memorial Day... YOU ARE NOW CONSIDERED A TOURIST!! Don't care if you came back to live today, tomorrow or anytime after.. Nope, you're a Tourist NOW!!! You're a wuss, a wimp. When shit got hard here you left. Fuck we want you back for now. Okay bye.