Worries

There are some issues that are involing family members, close family
members. There is nothing..well there is one thing I could do.

My mother doesn't want my father to live in the same house with her any
longer. Its not what you think. They both are elderly, him more than
her. He can hardly see, and you know how people get once they start
getting on in years. Its also not that she doesn't care about him, she
doesn't want to worry about him when he goes out in the street for
whatever. The last time, yesterday, he got confused, and couldn't find
his way back home in the neighborhood. Some one bought him home, and
this upsetted my mother greatly.

I suggested that they find a 2 bedroom apartment in one of the many
homes that's in my area to rent for me and him. I can't afford..no, I
don't have the funds for the 1 months rent or whatever they want to move
in. I can afford to pay up to 700 dollars a month in rent. This was
mentioned to my mother thru my brothers and sisters, but she turned it
down. I guess she doesn't want worry about him being in any other place
except for a nursing home.

See, I've heard about parents being placed in nursing homes, but
wouldn't think that it would be me the one or one of the ones to make
that decision. Its a hard call to make for all the family members. Its
also that I have a bad feeling about him going into any place like this.
Its like he won't be part of the family, and that really bothers me.

My co workers told me that everything will work out for the best. I feel
what they say, but this is heavy on my heart. Its the fact that its come
down to this and I'm am so helpless in the situation. I'm the oldest, I
should lead. But that's not how it is.

My true feelings, day before yesterday, was all selfish. No one cares
about me, I care about me only. Its not like that, aor, I don't feel
that way now. I wish I hit the Mega Millions and ALL these issue woud be
solved on all fronts. But I'm not rushing out and wasting what little I
have. All I want my family to know is that I'm there fpr any choice,
decision they decide to make.
--michaelchappell