Monday

Ok, I'm headed to an interview and its 2:40pm. Its scheduled for 4pm,
but I hate being late for anything. This feels funny though, butterflies
in my stomach, shit running thru my head. I'm not being cocky or
anything, but when I email my resume, 5 minutes later I got a response.
Thing is that there are probably 100's of people wanting the same
position, but I'm not going to let that stop me either.

Jobs are very hard to come by, but they are out there. Mostly as waiters
and busboys, dishwashers and preps. I will take anything right about
now. Maybe this suspension is a good thing. I mean I didn't hate going
into work, its just that I wanted to do more.

I spoke with my mother about this also, she gave me some good advice
too. If they are willing to lose me, cut me loose, they must expect that
my department's intake for the week is going to fall way off. And, she
said that if they allow you to come back, don't, move on. I'm gonna take
her advice, cause she knows people and how they act.

But since this has happened my mood has changed. Its like a strange
feeling that I'm not use to. Hard to explain, I guess its called being
afraid. That I am. I'm use to getting up and having certain routines
that I do every morning. This morning, I didn't get out of bed til 7am.
I'm usually up at 4, 4:30am. Plus, I kept waking up through out the
night too. Well, the body does know when change enters your life and it
reacts I guess.

On the train with the standard interview attire on, minus the tire.
Dislike wearing ties, don't know why. My housemate saw me before I left,
and she said that I look completely different from the way she is use to
seeing me. A good sign? She also told me to break a leg, more good luck
I guess.

I will see.
--michaelchappell