Sometimes..I Even Questioned Myself

...yep I do. Sometimes I think maybe its just me, and am I thinking wrong about situations. Maybe my opinions; the way I see things, view them, maybe I've been wrong all along. Then again, Hey I'm entitled to my own say so.

I don't drink, well only on New Years Eve and 1 glass of wine on my birthday. But I use to when I was younger. As I grew older, I didn't like the way drinking made me feel the next morning... hell, the next afternoon, so I gave it up. All to say, you won't find me going into a bar to drink. Oh I would, but I'm spending about 15 minutes, or there to meet some on. Most of the time I would call and tell them that I am standing outside. I don't understand that whole scene though. Go into a place where drinks are way overpriced, standing so close to one another...and the smell along with the noise. I know people don't only go to bars and pubs just to drink, they go to socialize, meet new people. My say so. There is nothing like throwing back a couple to get up enough nerve to ask that pretty drunk woman out on a date. Don't tell me that you would and never go to bars to pick up guys or girls, everyone does it, even me at one time. Not any more.

So I move on and try to find a 'soulmate'...my ass. No, I do want to meet some one that is just right for me, and me for her, but its a process. These online social networking sites, these women... Okay, what they want is..'yeah we can go out, you can take me someplace nice to eat'. Thats all they are thinking of is a meal, a date out eating. Listen if we are going to get together, a meal comes along with the date. After we do what we do out in public, lets see how we are in a close intimate setting. See, if we both can hold a conversation. But no, you want to full up your stomach.

I was told this by one woman, and I explained this to her. You know what she said, and I quote. ' I don't hand out personal information, I let no one cook in my kitchen more or less in my house. You don't need to know where I live, what I do for a living. And, you work hours are crazy, when do you find the time to go out at night ?'.  Oh, but I can take out to eat. She is looking for a serious relationship mind you, but you have to 'earn the right' to know anything about her. So when I told her that I was going out on other dates with other women, she then says she doesn't want to be part of a 'line up' I say one thing to myself...selfish bitch.

Online dating is okay, you click on the person you first see 'looks good', you them email them. from there is gets tricky. Most people keep it very vanilla, I like this, I like that, not me. I write about what attracted me to them in more or less words. Keeping it clean, it one sitting, can exchange 10 to 20 emails. Okay another thing is when you as a female have 300 to 1500 'friends'.  You don't meet that many people as friends in your whole lifetime. ..and tell me you are in touch with them on a constant..no wait... a semi constant level. Its not even semi.

It's Complicated'..what that means is that I'm tired of this man, but he pays the bills and he cheats on me too, and I cheat on him, but you have to have your shit together, meaning a car, and you have to have a place where we can get together, and I'm not talking about some cheap motel, and you have to love my children, who have different fathers and pay my cell phone bill. EXCUSE ME ? Or the ones that put down that they are married and what a serious relationship. Or, they have no intention of EVER meeting you in person, nothing personal though. ts that what they perceive online they really aren't in real life face to face.

I gotta say this though. White women in general could care less than a fuck about your income, long as you as a man HAVE a job, look good, they will attached themselves to you and let you be you. They will ask no questions because they know as White Women they are making way more money than you and they want so excitement in their lives. They have no problem with staying home, enjoying a evening with you just being themselves. They know how to keep you separate from the work. Its not like they are hiding you, but its like they found a secret and its you and for as long as its gonna last we are going to make a best of it. You see a Black Man walking with a White Woman or the oppiste, you know its a special relationship.

I'm searching for that Special Someone, and then again I'm not.