Turkey Day

...yeah I know, it was yesterday. How come I asked people today did they eat enough turkey... Theyhall claimed they don't eat turkey.

Now I know

...a lot of things and they are nuch clearer now.

Dating...why do I even bother sometimes. Maybbe because I'm searching for something, some one who isn't really out there that is my match. I compromise. But it seems I'm not the only one.

Found out what 'complicated' means for the most part. Only occurs in women, me don't state as their status 'complicated'. Found out this. Complicated to some, not most women is that they want a certain man, but he is with some one else. 3 women online, I peeled them back like an onion, and found out. Seems the man is their 'best friend' also, but with another woman. All 3 women says the feeling are mutal, the man wants them too, but they are with these woman. You know what I say.

Get OUT of that man's life, don't even have him as a friend more or less a best friend. Are these woman fucking nuts!! You knwo what they say...you hang out ina barbershop, sooner or later ya gonna get a haircut. You know he is with another woman, if he wanted you he would be with you. All he wants from you is sex...and he still wants to keep his present woman. True, you put up with it for a while. You're not sleeping with anyone else, you're waiting on him, and he's waiting on you to drop your pants, hike your dress up. Once the deed is done, the little speech. 'You know I can't leave her right now, they are issues involved'. Now you feel like shit and all types of emotions kick in. You refuse to become that 'side chick', why did I give him me? You knew all along what was going to happen. Look at it this way. If he did that with his present girl/woman, imagin what he will do with you.

One woman got so angry, she ask for my telephone number and I had a 2 hour conversation. I basically found out a lot about. Same old same old, 2 kids from 2 different guys. Why do women do this shit? Kids by different guys, no birth control. They get pissed off and then start saying WHAT they want in the man they are going to settle down with. When all along, they should've been making demands on themselves. Oh, she says she wants to meet me too. I told her I would, but I'm busy for the next couple of days. Wants to know with what...none of your business I said. Ask was she working...no. has her won place...no. said case I told her. All I would want her for is sex. I'm not taking care of her. But all of this cause you want this other guy, who has a woman. Life is rough.

Veterans Day

I served, not during War Time, 1977 to 1982. And what I've learned, every able adult from the age of 18 to 35 should serve. Make it mandatory!!

I got 25 brand new $1 bills to hand out homeless Vets. None in my area, so I handed it out Vets from Desert Storm & Shield, then worked my way to the last present War. I really felt honored to have those men AND women who fought for real, to protect me and my family. THANK YOU.

These young ass punk kids nowadays, talking about these young adults...now they don't know..how I wish one of them would fuck with me. Young adults went overseas and came back in pieces, and these punks, want to wild out on the streets and trains of NYC. They should thank God that none of them stepped my way. I already have made up my mind that I have lived a good..GREAT as life. I'm not crazy, but...taking one these stupid fucks with guys or even a knife..I'm going all the way out!!

People don't understand, these punks. Life is so fucking hard, jobs, family, sickness and then the Government bullshit. I would love to have the State of NY take care of me for life...25 years..cause I stomped one of those fuckers. I'm not crazy, and I don't have a death wish either. Enough is enough.

Some People Just Wake Up All Fucked Up

I'm talking about some MTA workers...that asshole inside that safe and secured booth he is in.

The reson why I tapped on the glass because you're the same MOTHERFUCKER who doesn't understand when I say put on the 2 cards I slide underneath the glass WEEKLY TRANSACTION !! How fuckin hrad is it to understand? But no, you get your pink panties in a bunch when I tapped on the glass. As I explained it to you.and the people behind me in line agrees, you don't have this customer service thingy down pat yet AFTER 15 years working for MTA. But that's okay. You see that machine across from your booth, it will phase your sorry ass out. Yep, technology will do away with your job cause right now you are no service to yourself or others. You worried about me tapping on that glass, but what about that guy hustling $2 rides to people. Oh, you won't report that, will you. Don't worry, your time will come.

I'm not ina bad mood, nope its Friday. And Fridays are always a good day, notunless you get fired on that day. Got an early morning text from this woman who...let's say she is upset because I didn't log on to Skype. She wanted to 'show' me more of herself, she started with one breast. She said she never did anything like that before and I believe her. True, I do want to see more of what she is willing to show, but sleep hit me from nowhere. Besides, next month, taking a trip to see her.

Like I want to get the new Iphone and can keep my same number, but I like where Android is doing and where they are headed. My tablet is powered by Android and my phone too. I don't mind rebooting my phone by taking the battery out, a small thing. The new Iphone doesn't have a keyboard and I don't like tapping out messages. With my cell phone, it slides to reveal the keyboard and I'm use to doing that. And..$500 for a fuckin phone, get real.

Wow!!

Okay, this woman I met online....we are meeting for the first time come December. She choosed to tell me a little about herself. She us a God Fearing. Church Going Woman. To each his or her own. She told me in her own words, that she use to smoke that 'shit', crack. So?

I could care less if you're smoking it, have smoked it and want to still smoke it, that's your choosing, really. But I have issues with what she said. Its along the lines of people who sue to smoke cigarettes, and now when theywalk into a cloud of cigarette smoke, the complain or cough. To me that act is stupid. It only goes to prove that you miss smoking cigarettes. Why complain when some one else is smoking and you use to? You miss it that bad huh? Reguardless you quit because of health reasons, I'm not watching where I smoke if its legal, cause you feel its bad for YOU!!

As for smoking crack. You tried it, liked it,hbut found out now that its not right for you to do. What cause you to quit? Me, it was either smoke crack or...work and have sex. Let me see what I choosed..not crack. But if I see some one strung out on the street, or hustling selling something that has no value to me, I don't look down or even try to avoid them. Its just a reminder of what I could look like.

So she is in the Church. Where she lives is a 5 to 6 hour ride from where I live, a small town, which she says her town is big. Reguardless, you don't know what a big city is. To say that the church members you attend church with, the people in your town who knew you back when you did smoke crack, you think they forgot? They are keeping an eye on you for every little thing you do. They won't leave their purse unattended around you. Even though I never went into stealing from people to supply my high, trying explaing that to those who have never smoked. What they see and read in print, we are still considered Crackheads. funny, you put a pig in a suit, its still a pig. But then you have to be comfortable with who you are and what you've become to overlook the way people talk behind your back. We/I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself.

I didn't tell her about my past, she hasn't asked me anything...yet? But if she does, believe me, she might not like what she hears. Most woman are looking for a man to pull them up and out of situations that they are in. They have this thing that a man is suppose to support a woman. True that, but that woman is his WIFE, not some one he just met....and has sept with, continue to sleep with and you expect, no demand some sort of payment in return. Now if these said woman were smoking crack, I could understand that mentality, but they're not nor ever have. Safe to say, you can have the crackhead mentality and never have touch the drug a day in your life.

Some women who consider themselves a 'catch', good looks, nice job, and their own place...but one draw back. Its their way of thinking. They don't think in the NOW, they think about their future, what a man, any man can do for them. That shit is so stupid. Little do they know, westep out the door of our homes and our lives could change either way. Could get better or could be devasting as all fuck.

That's why I live my day, day to day. Oh, I plan on meeting her in her town. I promised her I would wash her back. She sounded more excitied about that than anything else. Its the little things.