Sometimes...

...I just keep my mouth closed. Sometimes..I don't even bother to express the way that I feel also.

The reason why.. Though it matters to me, it doesn't matter to the people I express this to. Oh, you can tell..their eyes glass over, it's a sign that they are losing interest. But, it doesn't when it's concerning them, when they want something from you like advice. As soon as they get it, they move on as if nothing has transpired between the both of you.

These are the SAME people who come to you for advice ALL the time. When I try and explain to them why..things are the way they are..it could be anything that we are talking about. People, items and situations..they FAIL to understand that is how the world IS. It does not revolve around your situation. You aren't the ONLY ONE this has happen to. It has happened to others and you should deal with it the way they have...if not, move on. Consider it a lost. I will give an example.

Say you're looking for a job, say a job online. And the employer wants you to go thru some steps, some procedures to see if you're qualified for the position. Though you may feel that you are qualified for that position..so are maybe HUNDREDS of other people. It's a process that you and anyone else who applies for the position. You want the job, you go thru the procedures in applying..there are NO shortcuts. And, even though you applied, doesn't warrant a call back, an email saying they want to interview you. YOU WAIT..but you keep applying at other online places..SIMPLE. But I see where the problem is.

You compare yourself to me..and what I do. You think your age gives you some sort of seniority over what is what...of what I do. You think your College Education is a sign that you wear on your chest as if you are better than me, better than others with a High School G.E.D. I over look all of that. I tell you that you can have this job or any other job if you meet the qualifications..along with 100's of others. Your education does not warrant a call back, an email for an interview. That is just how the world is NOW. So many other factors play into it also and when I TRY and explain it to you, you can't understand where I am coming from. AGAIN, it's how the world is.

What bothers me is... That most people I have come across feel this way. Younger than me, older than me and even the same age as I am. I ask myself..what do these people do all day. I ask..do they read the newspapers, watch the news? Do they engage in conversations with others standing in any given line they are waiting in? I do know one thing and it's be proven... You can live your life well into your Golden Years, and NOT learned a darn thing about life, about people. That you limit your experiences in life ONLY to what you FEEL comfortable with..anything else, you can't be bothered. So, when you come across a detour in life of something that you REALLY want..you find that things have changed..time has changed fro the way they did things..soooo many years ago.

All I can say is this.. YOU have to STAY current. That piece of electronic thing you hold in your hand to your ear..can give you ALL the information you want on EVERYTHING!!

Google NEVER comes back with NO ANSWER..NEVER!!

Sundays..I Just Love Them

I enjoy Sunday mornings..don't know why.

I think it's because Sunday mornings are suppose to be lazy..a relaxing day to get yourself together..prepare for the coming week of whatever. What I enjoy even more than Sundays..MONDAYS!! Most people don't though. I see it like this.. Mondays are for the times to reconnect with coworkers about their weekends. Gather information about what they did, where they went. You don't even have to go anywhere. You could just stay at home and watch some good TV..read an article that cause you to think about..just things. Most people dislike Mondays for the simple reason the weekend is over. The way I see it, you only get one day for the weekend and that is Saturday..Sunday being the day to rest up. I guess that is why people dislike Mondays. That's why I enjoy working weekends and would rather have it that way. EVERYBODY is off on weekends..stores are crowed. Can't get anything done with all those people standing also in line with you.

A woman friend of mines got really upset because I got married. I had to pull it out of her over the phone on why she feels this way. Turns out that she she had plans for us to someday to be together. What I don't understand is why she did n't express this to me and I let her know about it in great detail. See..  Life is way too short. If you want something..want to try something out, give it a shot..make it KNOWN so that it CAN happen. Don't go by those old ass standards of waiting to see what HE will do. DON'T wait on HIM to pursue you like you WANT him to..that is too old fashion because look what happens. Some one, another woman comes along and makes her case known..willing to get it a shot, a try for her own happiness.

Along that line of MY thinking..I also came to a conclusion of something else. Marriage is and can be a scary thing...for me that is. Like I said, I'm just so use to taking care of myself and know what I need to do. Where the problems come along..is that my partner, my wife also feels the same way about her daily doings, coming and goings..how she handles her business. What it boils down to..it's all about money. I tried to establish some rules about money..how I deal with..how I handle my own money. But with marriage..it's not just my money anymore, it's OUR money. But..her money is just her OWN money. I'm breaking that rule in a way. Trying to explain t her how I handle things. Explain to her that the best..what cost more isn't always the best. Things break when they are expensive and exchanging them may cost just as much as what you paid for the whole item. Being without the said item..sent it away to get repaired is NOT getting your monies worth is what I say. So, what I do..is buy the said item at a lower cost where as if it breaks, we just get another one. This doesn't seem rational to a person who thinks that the best expensive item is ALWAYS the best way to go.

Another things I am working on  is dealing with gs in HER car. Why do people feel that they have to fill up a whole gas tank of a car with gas. I'm seeing that gas is VERY expensive and WILL burn a hole in your wallet. Here too..$25 a week worth of gas should get BOTH of us around and about to do what we have to do. Of course, that is coming out of my pocket and I have no problem with dealing with that. We are taking a trip to Tennessee in the coming weeks and I have the gas situation down to a science. I know just how much it will take to get us there and back and I'm stick to that formula regardless of what anyone..her will say. True, it's her car, but I do the driving while she sits in the passenger seat either sleeping or on her tablet.

On a lighter note.. In my complex where I live, we have a pool. It's connected to where the mailboxes are and it's a shortcut going thru the pool area to get to the mailboxes..which I did and do. Just happens that this woman was walking there the same time I was. She was wearing a one piece bathing suit. TTo say she is a Big Beautiful Black Woman.. Let's just say she has an ass that was and IS HUGE but to MY liking. Yes, I can deal with women of that size, size doesn't phase me know. Just happens she was walking in front of me and I was zoned out..yes looking at her butt as she walked in front of me. She went left and I went right to the mailboxes. When I returned thru the pool area, she was in the water and said excuse me, can I ask you a question. Sure, what is it? She then said..'I hope you got a good look at my ass, better that you take a picture, it last longer.' Me being me, I said, 'no, it's stored on my internal hard drive and thank you for that visual.' She then said,'you and your small self, you can't even handle a woman of my size, I would break you.' I then told her..because she started flirting first..'once you have me, you won't go back to those little boys you are dealing with. You know what Long Dicking is about, because that what I would do with you, but I can't, I'm a married man.' She told me she is a married woman also who doesn't get 'any' at home from her husband..so on and so on. I sat on a pool chair while she was in the water. We chatting, she telling me about what she wants and what she misses. How some men are intimidated by her size and don't think that she can move around in bed like your average size woman can. Also, that she too, doesn't go after what she wants. I left after 10 minutes because I knew where the convo was headed. But she did give me her email address and told me to contact her, which I did as soon as I got in back in the house.

OBE..Out of Body Experiences

Let me see if I can TRY and explain this as in the best way I can.

I mentioned in my last post that I wold talk about..something. That something is OBE, Out of Body Experiences. Bear with me.

For YEARS..I have been having these experiences. At first I couldn't understand it, them. I would wake up kind of exhausted, like I've been traveling on my feet for the last 24 hours. Then something..things began to come into place. First example..

I had broke up with a woman who I've cared for in a way that I thought and still to this day considered it love. The weeks following the break up, I kept having these dreams..her and I just happened to meet on 125th Street, in Harlem. One day I was with a male friend in my neighborhood and he mentioned to me..'isn;t that your ex girlfriend heading this way. I turned around, and there she was. We talked and she went about her business. Then, the dreams became more frequent with her. One day, I'm standing on 125th Street reading The Village Voice..have the paper up in my face and some one stands VERY close to me, it was her. I took the paper away from my face and said hello. She was shocked, I could see something in her eyes. We talked again for over an hour, and then we both went about our business.  Years go by..more dreams, but this time I kept having the same dream. We past each other at this certain location on 125th Street..just past Metro North heading towards The Lexington Ave train station. The one day, while I was leaving Metro North Station, I thought of her, looked up and she was heading in my direction with a guy. We past each other, said hello but kept walking. We got about 4 car lengths away..and we both turned around..walked back towards each other. She gave me her number and said to call her..SOON. I didn't, and left it at that. I continue to have these dreams about her though. Example number 2..this gets weirder.

I keep having these dreams about my days and times while I was in the Army. About 5 dreams when I was in Germany..my old unit..dreams in color..the color of red. I was in Artillery, so red is the color for artillery. But the dreams I was having about Ft. Jackson... The dream consist of me leaving, walking down the rod leading from the movie theater that was only 2 blocks from the barracks. The color of the buildings..the bright sunlight of the day..the quietness of that day. Another dream..driving down this street on Ft Jackson..another quiet day. The area, back then, the rad headed out thru the Main Gate..a slight hill. Same thing..bright day, heat. Saturday I visit Ft. Jackson..and after some time, I found myself on both of those same roads. I was driving at the time, and I pulled the car over and just sat there thinking about my dream. Everything as in my dream back then was happening RIGHT THEN and THERE.

I have had plenty of experiences like those mention..different situations and I'm just waiting for them to appear and happen. Makes me think though.

Ft. Jackson, SC...

Being that Ft. Jackson is a mere..less than 100 miles away by car. I took a trip there.

The last time I was at Ft Jackson, SC was November of 1982 when I was Honorably Discharged from The Army. But.. I had always visit the place in my dreams. Laugh all you want, but wait until you hear more about these dreams.

I remember the place as when I was a Soldier, it was alive, hustling and full of activity. Being that it's a Training Post, Basic Training and AIT, Advance Individual Training..there were and always was Soldiers all over the place..even on the weekends. I went through Gate 2 on a Saturday and I was shocked.

First off, while I was stationed there, I don't think I covered the whole Post. I mean I was only in one area, did my Duty that was assigned to me. I was a 64C, a Motor Transport Operator, a Truck Driver. I had assigned to me a 2 1/2 ton truck, truck number 209 of The 342nd Transportation Company. I had to get my bearings, it's been over 30 years since I was last here and the place sure has change. I went to where I slept at, the barracks. The ONLY thing that I recognized from back then was the mess hall, it STILL looked the same. But the barracks, were all modern now and looked NOTHING like what I slept in back then. In fact, I think it's a motel or hotel or something, not sure. Where the Motor Pool was at..NOTHING but trees..TALL trees. Time goes by quickly because I know for sure, you DON'T replant TALL trees, they GROW that way.

Building were still in the same place, but were upgraded to a more modern look which threw me off quite a bit. So, I drove around a bit. Plenty of fast food places on Ft. Jackson though. Memories were coming back to me slowly but surely too. But the feeling I got..a LARGE area..warehouses..being it's the weekend, not many workers around. It didn't feel like a Military place at all. Another thing..the vehicles. ALL modern, nothing from my era either. Being that it was Post 911 and I was driving area with NY license plates..probably in areas I wasn't suppose to be in.. But I had my ID and my Veteran's Card, but I still felt out of place.

Like I said I went driving around. I came across some activity in a recreational area, so I stop and ask for directions. They weren't in uniform, but for sure were Military. I'm not knocking them but.  I remember when I was here back then, and any civilians approached me and asked for directions, they could always tell I was Military. As this group of Soldiers, because I KNOW they ARE Soldiers..showed no..they didn't look Military. My wife who was sitting besides me, an Air Force Vetrean also asked me were they Soldiers. I told her they were. She said they look like some type of 'thugs'..all out of shape..from off the streets. When I told them that I was here over 30 years ago, they asked me how old was I now. Told them 55. They looked at me..couldn't believe it. I told them it was in the shots I got to go overseas to Germany. Prolongs the aging process. They STILL couldn't believe how good I looked for my age, and called someone over and ask them to guess my age.

I went to Ft Jackson for the sole purpose of going swimming at a beach made on a lake there. Found it, paid $1 for entry. Rented a Paddle Boat for the first and LAST time. Too much work for me and I haven't rode a bike in over a year. But the water was nice and cool. Beach clean and less than a city block long. Okay, string together 15 cars and that is how long the beach was and is. But I had a good time in the water.

I'm going back to Ft. Jackson..soon, really soon. New uniforms are on the market and I need a Wet Weather Suit and a Camo Backpack

.

Love & Marriage..(Married With Children)

..don't know why, but that song came into my head in the shower this morning. Oh well.

See, I..let's see how I can put this. I have a lot to say, and I DO want to say it. But, I don't want to offend anyone. I will say what I have to say..I shouldn't be worried about what others may say or even thing..but I do.

First off, married life isn't that easy. I mean I knew that there would be some rough patches, spots..here and there. I expected this. But, it seems that when one of the two TRY and control the whole situation, relationship..marriage.. I'm not the one who will quietly sit back and keep my mouth closed. No, I'm going to speak up and say whats on my mind. Enough on that subject. I DO love her and want the best for the both of us no matter what.

Okay, on Tuesdays for now on, I will post.

I Don't...

One of my female online friends..she is just too much..

At the ripe age of 39, she figures that she is one of a kind. Though we all are as humans, but she takes it to another level. She has two things going for her..her looks and her body. But what she states and speaks to me about...its crazy, her way if thinking. ...and she too..waiting on Mr Right to just come along and give her everything that she CAN dream of.

Her make FB friends are silent when she posts something that doesn't make sense. Won't call her on her BS like I do.. In a nice informative way, as I do. They praise her, worship the ground she walks on, in this case, agrees with everything she post. I'm not 'hating', its just..all she needs is a blonde wig and she is set. 

She wants to be in a relationship, but get this... With 2 bi guys living  with them under the same roof. Or, a relationship where she isn't sleeping with,  involved with her, but she can sleep with any other man she chooses. But if course the guy can't. Yep, I called her on her shit. Another thing she wants.. If you do sleep with her, will cost you a pretty penny. But she doesn't classifies herself as a whore. I blame it all on the internet and Selfies. And, wimpy ass guys who just agree to her BS. She tells me that out of all of her true real life in person friends that she sees almost everyday, I'm the honest one. I tell her, if I could, like I wanted to when we first started contact...'dig her back out', but not anymore.

What I Gave Up..and What I Will Continue to STILL Do

I got married..and in ALL reality, it still feels the same way to me if as if I was dating.

But, on another level, it means I can't come and go as I please, do as I please. Let me explain.

SHE asked me to marry her and I accepted. 3 months up to the wedding day, every so often, I would ask are you sure you want to do this. The reason..the man is suppose to be in charge..so to speak. But this man also knows how to communicate with his wife about the things he has planned, the moves he wants to make..the things that the both of them can, should be able to do together. See, I can understand that her being a woman that she has be so use to doing things for herself and by herself. All I asked her to do is believe in me..that's all..not hard to do.But, f she starts making plans to do things on her own without informing me, telling me..there is a problem. I'm not going for that..'I told you, you just don't remember it that I told you' BS. Nope, I remember everything that is said to me that is of IMPORTANCE and woman you are important to me.

I made a suggestion..NO SPENDING of ANY MONEY..mines, yours for 90 days, 3 months. Other than food, household supplies, rent, gas and water..NO MONEY is to be spent. I then forgot I was talking to a woman..my wife. The issue is.. Women spend money..mines..hers..but mines first. It's in their nature I guess. In order to achieve a goal you have to set standards, limits and I FELT that that what is needed. I came into this without any bills other than JUST my phone bill..wait, $450. A Secured Credit Card..which I was was..I didn't want to get, but I had to play a part in being 'responsible'. I'm strickly cash..if I don't have it, I won't and don't need it, it's not that serious to me in owning a credit card. HER bills are MY bills and MY bills are MY bills. There are other factors in this case also.

I ONLY had to take care of ME, no one else but ME. She, on the other hand has 3 grown..I'm gonna call the kids for the time being..she has those 3. Those 3 DEPEND on her like something you wouldn't believe. I made it CLEAR..I am NOT their father, nor will I try to be..they are grown..figure it out. She is still the mother, so she supports them, and I support her..see where I am going. I called her..she is out of town. I heard her almost 40 year old daughter in the back ground state...'I am hungry, feed me mother.' WTF?! I told her, tell her to get something to eat then, you're on the phone and respect that you're on the phone. She, my wife just laughed but I saw nothing funny at it. My mother raised me the..if not the right way, the ONLY way. When you get to an age when you pay taxes, you start doing adult like things..working, putting clothes on your back and feeding yourself. Apparently SOME ONE didn't get the memo. Another factor plays(ed) into this.

I'm going to explain it this way.. You go to school, and work your way through High School..go on to college and then get a job. Though school, college isn't for everyone..anything AFTER your basic 4 years of college..like getting your MASTERS..MEANS NOTHING if you haven't worked a day in your life. ..and depend on some one else to pay ALL of your bills. There, I said it. One thing my parents talk me..'No one can say anything about you if you're working.'

Home

North Carolina !!

...okay, I've been to Ft Bragg..82nd AIRBORNE!! I made them walk because one of them was smoking a cigarette in the back of my truck. I was immediately disliked. So, how did I come from living in Rochester, NY..and then next..living in Charlotte, NC? Let's take a trip back...

Last Summer, I met a woman online at one of those dating sites..Tagged. She agreed to meet me in Syracuse..where she was born and raised..we met at The Mall. She is living with her daughter in Charlotte, NC and she was up North paying a visit to her doctor. We met at The Mall, spent a couple of hours..yada, yada..hotel. Then decided we should both continue to see each other..see where it would lead us. She traveled between the North & South through the whole Summer. Asked me to marry her in November. What could I say? I mean, does a guy say no when asked by the woman? I said yes and I also said are you sure you want to do this with me. She said she wanted some one to take care of her. I told her I sometimes have a hard time taking care of myself..but, I will give it a try. I told her it would be easy. It's not, it never will be..who was I fooling.

I am going to give my opinion on this thing called marriage. It's beautiful and it SUCKS. It's like a love, hate type thing. I didn't live with her, and she didn't live with me. We BOTH don't know what it's like to live with each other. She is retired and have a lot of time on her hands..me, I still work. I can go with the flow, but I know ho I go about doing life's everyday  needs. She..believes that PAYING top dollar for something ALWAYS means it's the best..which it isn't. It;s a new experience for the both of us, but MORE for me than for her.

But, I'm LOVING Charlotte, NC!! I never lived here before. I visited 2 days in a row..I was stationed at Ft Jackson, SC..Truck Driver. I live in a nice Gated Complex..surprises me beyond anything I would have imagined I would be living in. Rent to me is a little high, but some of the people I spoke to here say that it's a good price for what I get with the apartment.

Gonna mention the bugs that are HERE next time.

ME!!

...

I'm Back!!

For real, its been a long time...and a LOT has changed. One being...

I got married. And, with getting married the wife decided she has the decision on where WE are to live. Guess she made my mind up for me and...North Carolina it was. Charlotte to be exact.

The trip, because it was a trip..packed my stuff into her SUV in Rochester...she drove from Syracuse where she has a home. ...then we went back to Syracuse for a couple of days before the drive to NC. Some where during the drive, she decided I should see my Aunt in The Bronx.

I've been away from NYC for a little over a year, so I forgot some things..like RUSH HOUR traffic coming across the George Washington Bridge. Freaked her out when we sat there 2 football fields from the toll. Freaked her even more..the $15 toll. EVEN more, that set if small under passes after the toll into The Bronx. Not me though, I was HOME again 

The drive from Syracuse to Charlotte, NC WAS suppose to be a 12 hour drive, left at 3am, arrive at 3pm. Throw in the trip into The Bronx, arrived in Charlotte at 11:30pm. Too late to get a hotel room, because we were signing our lease at 9am..so, we slept in the car at a Walmart parking lot. Mind you, I drove ALL the way.

IH, I had 2 interviews scheduled for the next day. I started working 2 days later. In fact, other jobs I she t my resume to, wanted to work out what my primary schedule would be so they can fit me in. We will see, giving it a month at where I'm working at now.

Wife got some bad news, her children's father passed away in Arizona. She was already driving back to Syracuse for a dentist appointment, so this bit of depressing news now HSS her flying out to Arizona.. Don't know when I will see her again. Probably in July. I hope.

Next, I will talk about Public Transportation, the buses here..which I have to use.