Friday, March 18th 2016....

...feelings I had on that day will stay with me for a little bit. Perhaps another 5 days or so. Here is what happened...

I should have known back in November of last year... But me and myself giving people second chances... She had moved to another city, but within NC and reached out to me. Yeah, I got good vibes the first time and wondered what happened to her. She told me something about...it's not too important now. But I met her at the bus station, ticket I paid for, one way here. She was suppose to stay with me the whole weekend...that never happened.

All I know is this... People can TALK a very good 'game'. Game as in meaning... The life they WANT to live and supposedly are living...is different from the actions you SEE they live in real time, real life. How can you tell a person...how you want them to dress when you go out with them...and the person, me....dresses the way you SAY you want them to...but, when you show up, you look like you just pulled your clothes out of a dirty clothes hamper and threw them on.

I don't know where some people get their manners from, maybe from a pack of wild dogs or something but... When you go out to eat in a fairly nice place, you should be able to know how to order what you want and be clear on ordering what you want. The waitstaff can not read your mind. And, when talking to the waitstaff..it shows when you kind of berate them for getting your order wrong..and you STILL aren't able to tell them what you want? But to blame it on them? I work in The Food Service Industry, and we work very hard. When we get a customer that KNOWS what they want to eat and KNOWS how to order said item, be it that it's to be made a certain way...when we get that order, we relay it to the kitchen and the Chef makes it the way we tell them to. So, when it comes to the table...it was made the way your ordered it. Moving on.

In the PAST, I have done my fair share of drugs...yeah, THAT too. But today, drug free for a very long time. I don't care what you do and when you do it around me and I have TOLD you about my past use and you... I don't expect you to change your ways, your drug use for me while being around me. I have a mouth and if it gets too much for me to bear with and to handle, I have 2 feet, I can walk away. But...inside of a car and you light up...with a child in the back seat besides me?! When the smell drifted to the back, I opened the window...because of the child.

The deal was...I take you, your daughter with her child out to lunch and you, later on tonight cook dinner for the 2 of us. After lunch, we go to the supermarket...I was to be the ONLY one going in, but you and your family comes in also. Your daughter puts a $8.99 pack of Pulled Pork in the shopping cart. I looked at her like she lost her mind. You tell her not to, she pays no attention, okay I purchase it for her. Then at the register, she also has a can of air freshener and gives me $1 for it. ???? What about the Pull Pork?

Get to my place... You have 2 beers AND want to light up again. NOT IN HERE YOU CAN'T, so we take a walk. You being high and stuff forget about you're suppose to cook, no problem because at this point in time, I want you to leave.

Smh, Gtfo,

What? What do you do when there is a woman whom you have had a past with.. Wants you back in her life...but plays on the 'other team'... Is battling with her feelings.

Oh..and Wtf? Exactly, fits right on in. I gave her what I thought, my opinion...which she really didn't want to hear. I guess she thought I was going to sugar coat shit. Nope.

So, you got those feelings of yesteryear, me down there...treating you right...down there. But you switched up and now you're having these feelings of... Cause you 'Came Out', let the world know... But you thought and contacted me after what, more than 10 years and thought of those times... You should have NOT reached out and contacted me. What you expect me to say, act.

What? Oh, I have a way with words, my voice took you back to when... Wait, you don't like penis anymore...or do you? Keep conforming to how you think you should be because the world says this or that...just be you.

Why can't you have the best of both worlds. Oh, I see why you can't. Because it doesn't look right being born one way, switch up and then want to switch up again. The world will and might label you confused, huh? Well, I like Chinese Food, but will eat Wendy's of Burger Kind also...when I feel like it.

***WARNING***..This Post is X(XX) Rated

I'm NO expert, but I know what I like and HOW I like it though.

Remember in the 80's with the Aids thingy going on...makes you wonder why...no, that's a whole different story but... In the 80's with the outbreak of Aids, it seems that there was STILL a lot of fucking going on. You took your chances, protected or unprotected, who the fucks knows if you were going to wake up with The Monster. I was...I was acting like a hamster, but I was producing any offspring(s)..'Ya gotta keep them separated', The Offspring. Sorry, that song popped in my head. Don't judge me, I have sex without protection. To me and ONLY me, it's...would you take a shower with your clothes on? NO!! Check ups 3 times a year, test every 90 days...THANK YOU VA!! I'm not picky, but I know what I like. Anywho..a lot of fucking was going on. Then, I got older.

There are a lot of women who were born in my year and are around my age out there. All have qualities about them that are outstanding. You can't base a woman on how she looks on the outside either. But, these women...something weird as hell, something is different about them as the got to the same age as I am. All of a sudden, they talk about diseases being out there, being picky and choosy on who they sleep with. Your decision is your decision is what I say..but take a closer look. Take the woman who has 3 children. Oldest is by one guy who she broke up with. 2nd child is by the new guy and 3rd child is by the first guy she broke up with. Might be a 4th child in the making, back with the 2nd guy, huh? Only goes to prove one thing. Women will stick with or go back to the guys they feel are 'safe' to sleep with for sex...no matter if he had cheated, stole from her or even beat her up. Not all women, some and most.

I know there is another word I could use..but fucking is GREAT!! Admit it, it is right? A guy releases...it's like he sees God. A guy makes a woman release..he is KING!! ...and she likes that shit too, that's why she always comes back to him. A woman who gets us to fucking the same guy, knows what is expected of him. She is use to is dick hitting all the right spots. When he goes down on her, his tongue touches all the places that she wants and needs it to be touched. Ah...FUCKING IS FUCKING UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING GREAT!! But the actual act of..well fucking, doesn't have to have any penetration involved on the male part at all.

I got a Friend Request..hell, okay..Add, accepted. Didn't bother to look at their page at all. Months go by...day before yesterday I'm online and I get a message...'Do you remember me?' I typed no, remind me. She said we use to sleep together and I was debating on whether to contact you or not because...I just want to know if there could be something still there. We exchanged numbers, texted each other. She sent me a picture. NOW I remember her. Big woman, but the tightest pussy I have ever entered in my who adult life. The view hitting it from the back...it's Porn Magazines rated. Kissing her...let's say she KNOWS how to kiss and that alone would make a guy 'pop off'. So we do the text thing for a while, it gets graphic a s all hell too. I decided to call her and she answers. I hear a lot of heavy breathing, she is talking..not hold sentences. After about 2 minutes I hear a whimper like sound and then a shriek, more heavy breathing and then a loud 'FUCK'. I asked is she alright..little did I know, she had the biggest orgasm right in my ear and you know what...I got harder than a Jeep steering wheel. I said damn, it's like that? She said while I was texting her she thought of the times we were together..and one thing led to another and when I called..she just exploded. She told me she has to go and clean up and will call me back. She hasn't called me back since. WOW!!

In 5 days..I will be 'boarding' a whole different mode. Let's see what this is going to be like.

Manners...How Many of Us Have Them. (Sung to the tune of 'Friends', by Whodini)

'...ones we can depend on,'

It started a LONG time ago...when I parents instilled in us..'say thank you', 'please'. It's suppose to stay with you all thru your life too...but somewhere along the way, some people have lost their manners. But as a young adult, 18-25...let's just say I don't blame it on the parents, I blame it on the person. But then again, you CAN blame it on the parents.

I always will and continue to say, your kids are a reflection of you. Though you may have some decent parents and their kids are lost... Doesn't take away from the parent(s) though. Maybe they, the parents have just given up...maybe the parents want to teach their children a lesson and let them learn the hard way. But some of these young adults have a sense of entitlement about themselves...thinking that they have it like that...thinking that they can do and say and act any old kind of way they want to. I cringe now...thinking, did I act that way as a young adult, NO!!

To the single parent, the mother...bringing up children in a household where she is the only breadwinner and handling the chores of being the father also..I know is hard. But your actions while raising your children should also be a reflection on how you want your children to end up being in the long run. It's hard on the single mother doing this, I see it...their actions dealing with men in general. The attitude of thinking that they are self-entitled to have things their way and nothing else. Their actions of 'what can you bring to the table', 'I can do bad by myself.' Yep, those words are so cliche.

I watched from a distance how one young lady, watched her as she raised her two little girls. The pictures mostly..and I can see their mother's attitude in every picture that was taken. I can see the mother in those pictures. The little girls didn't pose as little girl, posing as how they seen their mother pose in pictures, copying her. I can only imagine the conversations these little girls have when they are playing with other children in the neighborhood. ...and then it happened. They got into a fight with other children while playing. She came out of the house screaming, ranting and raving at the children who were fighting with hers. How I know this, she told me so, said she was watching from the window. All that screaming at some one else's child only bought out the child's parent, the mother and then 2 female adults are raising hell...which certainly brought the police along. So, the children are standing around watching the mothers going at it...which in my opinion only shows the children that this is the way you handle things. When I was a child and I got into a fight while playing, my mother would beat my ass in front of the other child. And that other child got the same thing from his mother. As a child, we did not want to be seen getting a 'whopping' in front of our friends. Happen a couple of times and we KNEW NOT to fight each other ever again. But that was in the 60's, 1960...and today, it's a whole other situation.

My parents taught me to 'defend' myself when I was a child and not to let anyone beat up on me. It wasn't about winning, it was about defending yourself. That was with hands, but today, it has progress to guns. 10, 11 and 12 years old today harbor that anger of confrontation and carry it on into their teen and adult years, some of them do, most don't. Those that do, you hear about them getting into more and more trouble. Those that do...as a young adult when you get together as older adults and say..'what ever happened to...', some one will always say that 'oh, he got shot, or so and so is in prison for...'. Then there is a silence... That silence is reflecting back to your childhood and all the things that you did get into. Situations that could have been dangerous. But because of your up bringing, what your parents taught you... You are the one and part of the ones who are walking around making a name and doing the right things in life.

It's sad that parents of today, not all, but some... Don't instill goodness in their children. Some just give up and let their children do as they please...all the way into adulthood. It's the ones that you sometime hear if their child makes the 6pm news...'He WAS a good person and never hurt no one.' But you KNOW the real truth. Because you witnessed it as a a little child way back then.

It all starts with MANNERS!!

Third Eye Blind..'How's It Gonna Be...

https://youtu.be/Femqf_Mel4U

Burning Man 2016..Where...

Burning Man 2016, where you let loose your Soul...and any other body art you care to also.


Ah, my brother is attending again this year. Copped his tickets...took him all of 8 whole minutes to and he is STOKED!! I checked out the prices online myself. OMG, you have to take out a bank loan to attend. Mind you... Attending does NOT guarantee that you will LIVE thru this event. But the memories are priceless. Oh yeah, it's on my Bucket List and I DO plan on attending for my 60th year of Living on Planet Earth. An event like this NEEDS a well THOUGHT plan...needs a year, I think, to plan out. August 28th to September 5th...add 2 days before and 2 days after and... about a week to recover...2 weeks time off from work. THEN..when I go back to work, will I ever be the same? Probably see the world, life in a whole different meaning too. Yep, 60th year...I'M THERE!!

A couple of months ago...I met her online. About 3 days later, I met her in person at her place. When she answered the door, though she knew I was coming..she answered dripping wet, wrapped around a towel. Showed me around her apartment and then changed into her clothes, but not in front of me. We talked for about 2 hours and I left. Next day, tried to get back in contact with her...couldn't, no voicemail or anything set up. MONTHS go by...she reaches out to me. She is in another city but same state..3 hours away. Issues at where she use to live at caused her to move...understandable. We talk for about an hour a day on the phone now for the last week. I invited her back and to stay with me for the weekend, she accepted. We will see.

Some More Stuff

It's nothing like getting that phone call...when you're about to turn in for the night. ...then, 2 hours later... Hold up, I have to work in the morning. Okaybye.

I actually met her a few months back...went to her home. Planned something for the holiday, but I didn't hear back from her until last night. I saw shit happens, don't worry about it, but you did call me now. LONG conversation....talked about a lot of things.... One thing I don't understand and it seems to be a trend...well sort of. How can a woman be shy, still shy..after having children who are of adult age.

I thought about it...nope, isn't anyway possible. Is it just a 'thing' to prove to a man that she is a certain type of woman, or... Is it proving that she isn't a certain type of woman that acts a certain type of way. Either way I say 'shy' isn't the word you should use.

I had another conversation earlier in the day with a 25 year old mother of 2. We meet up at the same place 5 days a week so we had no other choice but to have a conversation...that and to keep these other 2 guys from bothering her every waking morning. But yesterday, the conversation went a bit further, continued on the bus. We didn't speak out loud. She ask for my phone and put in her cell phone number and we continued by text. She texted that it has been almost 5 months since she has had sex and it's driving her crazy. Not from this area, moved here from another state to get away from her child's father. Shelter, job and now she has her own place...but she misses THAT part of her life. Doesn't want a relationship, just want a sex partner who is clean, working and has his shit together. I joked and text back, how about me. She texted, 'DUH!'. But she warned me, she is fertile for  mofo, her words and doesn't approve of condom usage. PRETTY dark skinned woman, a runners body.  I told her we can talk through out the week...she said it's happening THIS Saturday at my place, and asked for my address. But texted, it's ONLY a sexual thing...for now, okay?

Day before yesterday, another friend on a Dating Site made a post that there is something about younger men, their energy. I told her it's not the energy that you speak of, it's the staying power, the rawness of a man younger than you. It's like you are thinking to yourself that you are the envy of every man younger than you...that they want you. I also told her that men of your age see thru your bullshit and don't and won't have anything to do with you and men WAY younger than you are quick to say that they are sleeping with an older woman. But the 2 of you are both living out your own fantasy. He gets and older woman where as he can boast and brag to his male friends. As for you...the impression that you think you are giving him is that you have your shit together and that he is the luckiest man because you chose him to lay in your bed. She then went on to say that men her age are lazy, over weighted and don't want to do anything. I'm suppose to meet her for breakfast this coming Sunday, but I know she won't show up. Oh well.

I've been told that I am dating material but I don't own a car. A man should at my age own a car so he can get around. Again, I don't want that responsibility, and if I do have to go some where, I plan my trips. I don't want that burden of a car not, maintenance..and God forbid, an accident. The people I do know who own cars...seems that their car is always in the shop and our conversations are around how much they have to pay for repairs and the such. Makes me glad that I don't own a car and if I wanted or have to go some where, I can always rent one. One person missed a whole week of work because of her car in the shop being worked on. The bill just caused my heartache and terror to her. ...took from one bill to pay off the repair shop, which is somewhere along the way is going to put her in a hole. Back in the days, a car represented a sense of independence. Today...I say its a luxury.

She Started It By...

....making a reference of 'used cows' and 'getting the milk for free. It was all about a man paying for the date when it's going out to dinner. I released the Kraken.

First of all a first date should NEVER be a a date where you out to eat...formal that is. But I told her that she knows nothing about going out to eat formal any old ways, more or less its fast food for you lady. It's like this, and this is how I see it.

You see her every day at the bus stop or the same place that the 2 of you are always at. Starts off with a greeting and eventually just talking about anything. You ask her does she want to go out and do something, nothing in particular, just something. I stay away from formal getting something to eat because it requires way too much 'getting ready' time. But her being her, she wants to get something to eat. She suggest it, so i will let her name the place. More likely she has been there before..which is a Red Flag. How come she can't pick some where she WANTS to try and never been to?

Here comes the hard part...not for me though. First time you're going out to eat, so who pays? The man, who has money enough to cover for the whole meal and then some, most likely will pay. The woman, she will allow him to pay also. Keep in mind, this is the first time you are going out. How I see it...I will ask her does she want m to pay for the meals. No harm in asking, right? But some women get the impression when a man ask this...that he is cheap and she doesn't want to see him any more because of asking that question. On the other hand, if a woman wants to pay for the meal, I will let her, next meal is on me...if there is a next time.

But let's not focus on the meal, it's the conversation, right? We have all be taught not to talk with our mouths full, but you have to have a conversation during the meal. Conversation during the meal, food gets cold. Me, I just eat, not too fast, but while the food is still hot. Her...she wants to show you that she has table manners and will take her time, it's okay but..your food is getting cold with you playing over it...EAT! This is why I never go out to eat formal, fast food, yes.