For Those That Work With The Public...

...be it County, City, and State...even Federal. No one FORCED you to work in this field you miserable FUCK !!

This isn't going out to those who ENJOY doing what they do. Like the ones who pour your coffee, who slice your deli meats & cheeses, even those who just ring up & bag your groceries. They, we, me...well some of us really like doing it. We enjoy it so much that we are happy to see you and worry when we don't see you on your weekly shopping or picking up your coffee. No, this goes out to those.... ungreatful fucks who think its a burden to serve us.

I went to the beach last week and was waiting for the bus to go home. A bus witch wasn't the one I had to catch pulled up. First, since there is a fenced off area for those waiting for the bus..well he pulled up to that and there were no place for the people exiting the bus to go. A lady said something, so he backed the bus up, it seemed like it was a problem for him doing this. After everyone got off, then he waved his hand and said okay get on. He did it like we were really bothering him. I told him I don't need this one, I'm waiting on the 13. He said, good... but really nasty. I noted the bus number and time and told him that in this country we don't talk like that to people and that I was reporting him. He then changed his way of speaking. Funny, when you threaten reporting, everything changes. He pulled off and my bus then pulled up.

Only 3 other people got on. 5 minutes into the ride, I noticed a shadow over my shoulder and in front of me. The bus jerked to a stop and the bus driver rushed us off. Smoked, white smoke was billowing out of the exhaust. The driver and I went to the back of the bus to look at it. I noticed the smell and it smell like a radiator leak or something and I told him this. Bus went out of service. He told us the next bus is in 45 minutes and he called it in, but he didn't know if they were sending another one right away. He kept us all informed. 20 minutes later another bus showed up, and he took over driving that one. I asked him is name or badge number. He told me just right the bus number down and that the company he works for doesn't even care. I don't care about the bus company, its you who did a good job and I want to let them know that you did. He said they don't even care.

See, that's what I'm talking about. People who go beyond the actual duties, show that little bit of caring, keeping you informed, not getting praised due from their supervisors, but continue to serve with respect. Some people work for a only a paycheck & the benifits that it entitles. Others do it cause they LIKE to. Andthey get overlooked. Its like that with every job I guess. The day One office worker who stays late cause they believe in getting the job done and the Supervisor gets all the credit. Or, like right now. The MTA Station Attendant who is cleaning up someone's throw up and making jokes about it. She said to me, hey its my job and I don't mind doing it, it gives me something to do instaed of just standing around. She was happy as all hell to be doing something different this morning.

To that bus driver, I don't wish you any harm, but... you won't keep your job muchlonger if people like me report you for your nastiness to a PAYING CUSTOMER. Good luck trying to find a new job with so many years on the one you had, and your next employer wants to know why after so many years on THAT job you were let go. Hey it happens.

For Those That Want It All... a Little Surprise....

...ya just can't have it. Nope, not even one little bit of it. Wanna know why? Cause it never ends...the wanting that it.

Its always something else. You get that and this happens. So you take care that, and this happens. Shit never ends. I want a meaningful relationship, I really do. Something always comes up or in between. Its either she is so focus on..as she says it, making that money, stacking her stacks. Working long hours and wants me to cater to HER hours. No mutal agreement, its either this way or no way. Okay its no way cause you don't want to meet me half way. Then the insults come. Hell, you gave me a choice, let me make a decision, and I did. I'm not gonna stand in the way of you making yours.

Or, the one who claims that they have their shit all together...but don't. Wants to keep living on that 'front'. They don't have a pot to piss in..as they say. ...and want to control how you see them, when and where. First of all you have little ones to take care of, focus on that first, then me, if you have the time.

Huntington Post...where are these women you so-call clain on your website who want that guy who is single, no children and HAS a job. You polled, and out of 100 women, you say 85% of them are out there stating that they can't even have a relationship with a man because...I don't know what. And, you claim their se lives has just STOPPED. You're not bring honest HP. These women you claim that are out there, just gave you some vinalla fluff, so that they can get their names out there on your website. That's what I think.

So &I asked her what are her plans for the weekend, she has to work, but I still can come over when she gets home. What, to WATCH you sleep? 'Thats shits CRAZY!!' Asked what are my plans. I'm going to the beach. Oh. Some what bitch you meeting out there? I laughed and then hung up and didn't answer my phone again.

You, they..what the fuck ever have to realize this... the show still goes on no matter what. Its a game, we are all in it. Not all of us want to win though. Its an on going game.

Just got a text...and she says, asked am I going to take care of her. FUCK NO I Am not!! You working 2 jobs, take care of yourself.

..and women want to know why men are the way they are. You created this monster, now find some way to tame this beast.

It's Funny...

I don't claim that I entirely know how a woman or women think, nobody does. But I ask the women that I know and sleep with, what is it about me they like besides sex. And the answer is weak.

My ex is the ONLY one who gave me the answer that I was looking for...for the matter, the only answer. She told me that even though she loves me and knows for a fact that I am sleeping with other women, that when I spend the weekend with her, I am there with her. She enjoys my company, my conversation and sex is only 2nd or 3rd what she loves about our time together. NICE !!

These other woman that I see...its only a sexual relationship on my part. See, they want that extra paycheck that I bring along with our sexual romps. They don't like or love me for me, its what I can do for them. I admit, these womanmake more money than me, and my earnings are extra that they think they can spend.

Another thing is...my ex doesn't have any children. Not saying that a woman with children is a problem, but it is. Why do they think its my responsiblity to support their children? Where is their fathers at? What's the deal with that. I hear if you love me. You love my children. No I don't, but I don't dislike them. But they aren't mine & my responsiblity. Its crazy.

Another thing is this. A woman with 2 jobs, where is there time for me. Oh, that small window when you have 'maybe' 8 or 9 hours between jobs, you find time for me? That isn't a relationship to me, its satifying your sexual needs which I have no problems with.

Still searching.

It's Funny...

I don't claim that I entirely know how a woman or women think, nobody does. But I ask the women that I know and sleep with, what is it about me they like besides sex. And the answer is weak.

My ex is the ONLY one who gave me the answer that I was looking for...for the matter, the only answer. She told me that even though she loves me and knows for a fact that I am sleeping with other women, that when I spend the weekend with her, I am there with her. She enjoys my company, my conversation and sex is only 2nd or 3rd what she loves about our time together. NICE !!

These other woman that I see...its only a sexual relationship on my part. See, they want that extra paycheck that I bring along with our sexual romps. They don't like or love me for me, its what I can do for them. I admit, these womanmake more money than me, and my earnings are extra that they think they can spend.

Another thing is...my ex doesn't have any children. Not saying that a woman with children is a problem, but it is. Why do they think its my responsiblity to support their children? Where is their fathers at? What's the deal with that. I hear if you love me. You love my children. No I don't, but I don't dislike them. But they aren't mine & my responsiblity. Its crazy.

Another thing is this. A woman with 2 jobs, where is there time for me. Oh, that small window when you have 'maybe' 8 or 9 hours between jobs, you find time for me? That isn't a relationship to me, its satifying your sexual needs which I have no problems with.

Still searching.

'...put the dog in the basket!!'

Friday, the first day of Summer. I read somewhere about a month ago that everyone should take that day off from work, it was 'National Take a Day Off From Work Day'. I swear, I read it somewhere, so the next day I asked The Chef could I have that day off and he gave it to me. I Googled it, but I couldn't find it anywhere on line. Thats what I get for always reading something at one time or another. I had a good day reguardless.

I made plans with my ex girlfriend, well she made the plans. She wanted to see Man of Steel, but we were going to go and see it on Friday night. During the day, cause she also took the day off, we were going to the beach. But when we woke up Friday morning, it was chilly and we BOTH had 2nd thoughts about it being a beach weather day. Decided to catch the 12pm show instead. Didn't feel like a Friday cause when we went into the theater a total of 6 people were inside. We both fell asleep at the boring parts and was waken up with all the loud destruction. Good movie, but...Naw, I'm not gonna say it and spoil it for those who have yet to see it. But it just boggles the mind.

Saturday...BEACH DAY !! See picture above. That was before the Grandmother, Mother and FINE ASS DAUGHTER showed up.I'm standing where they pitched there blankets. Notice all the OPEN space that's around, right? The daughter, about 20 years old had the body of a... I can't even explain it. But the mother caught me checking her out, and when my ex went to the bathroom, moms said something to me, but I corrected her after she said her little speech. Told her the woman I am with is my ex, we are not in a relationship, but we do sleep with each other cause that is the way she wants it. When my ex came back, the mother told her that I, her boyfriend was checking out her daughter. My ex said, well he does have eyes and your daughter is very attractive and he is not my boyfriend, but I would be disappointed if he slept with her today or tonight and not with me. For the next 2 hours they became good friends, exchanged numbers. All I did was just LOOK at the daughter, my GOD!! The body on that young woman. What topped it off was the hair...Brazilian fashion, curly, long and black. I didn't stare at her, I took in ALL of her, from head to toe. She asked me my name and gave me her number when we left. My ex tore it up though.

Darlise, I have known her since 2005. She was my consulor when I was in a shelter. She knew I had a thing for her, but her playing that game of, 'I'm better than your shelter, not being able to manage your life ass'. I was working, even though I was in New York City a whole 2 weeks AFTER working on a Cruise Ship, I just didn't want to live with family until I got my own place. She didn't see it that was though. I did follow the rules of the shelter, they found me a 3/4 house, which led to a rooming house...which I left cause when I bought food, they would eat it when I was at work, so I left there too. One day while I was working in a deli in a supermarket in Queens, NY, she walks up to the counter. She got fired from the job because out of all the YEARS she was working there, she was suppose to go to school to get a certificate that would keep her working there. She was on public assistance, with them paying her rent. I went to her place a couple of times, just to hang out and I made it be known that I wanted to sleep with her. No hints, just came right on out and said it. She was still on that, 'I'm better than you' stuff until one night I got a call from her.

She said that she need help, that she 'picked up'..crack. I told her to get some help, and that I couldn't help her. It may seem like the wrong thing to do, but I was worried about myself. I'm no angel mind you and the way I saw it... I buy $200 worth of crack and have sex with her, but I didn't want her that way, so we lost touch...until yesterday. Now she is in a shelter and wants to see me. The shelter is in Brooklyn and I told her I would come and see her on Sunday. Its Sunday morning right now, 5:39am and...I am looking at this tight ass, dark skin woman laying in the bed next to me. No it isn't her, its my ex, and she is sleeping. Darlise has no job and I asked her to send her resume. I told her that I know of some people who are hiring,  places, pay is between $9,50 to $10.25 an hour, 5 days a week, 9 hour shift plus tips. She doesn't want that, she wants to go back to doing what she was doing before, helping people. Told her she needs to help herself first. I was going to go and see her today, but I changed my mind. I'm going to tell her why too. Its like this...

Right now she has NOTHING, and she will be looking for anyone who is interested in her, to do for her. And all I want to do is DO her. I have no issue in telling her this if I see her too. But all types of logistics will be involved. She will say something like... well I have to pay some one at the shelter to watch the kids while I am with you. And afterwards, I know she will ask for some money too. See, I will bypass all of that shit and just stay away from her. Oh, I will talk with her on the phone, and even text, but I will stay away...for her OWN good.

I never see myself better than or better off as the next person. One minute you can have a million dollars and in 2 weeks be flat ass broke, shit has happened to people like that. That is why I do, say and go as I want. I see it like this. Women she never ask a man to DO for her, even if they are married. A man will do for you as he seem fit. You as a woman with all functioning parts of your body should be able to do for yourself. When a man does for a woman and she continues to want more and more, regardless of how much money HE has, he will leave you. If not leave you, will see or WANT to see another woman who isn't costing him as much too be with. That is how we are as men. ALL MEN.

Questions...

Why is it when Man gets use to do the same thing every day, and when things or and people throw a Monkey Wrench into our every day doings, we get all FUCKED UP !!!

There is only one person that I change my plans for, and that is for my mother. Its not because presently I am living in her home, nope that's not it. It is for her, without her going thru with her pregancy of me, I wouldn't even be here. I know at times I wish or have wished that I have never been born, but that was when shit was hitting the fan. Now, I imagine myself not even being born, not often, but I do.

I imagine not being able to see what all there is I have seen so far in my life. Like when times sometime get hard, I think to myself that I'm lucky to even be present to see these hard times. I admit, I have had some good times more than bad and times where I don't even know what to call it. Good, bad...border line, what the fuck, I'm living them. Some times...I can get stuck. Most times its all of my doing. Like I...my mind proccess so many thought patterns at I think at the same time, that I'm actually just stand still cause I don't know where or when to start. Its funny.

I make plans for the weekend since I don't work weekends. Like this weekend out in Coney Island, The Mermaid Parade. Every year I sa I will attend. Most years I forget or I read about it in the newspapers and I always say I will go next year and never so. Well this year, I WAS taking..no, I was going by myself, then I said I was taking my ex. A co worker lives out in Coney Island and he told me its best to go by yourself cause its CRAZY !!! Now, I'm off tomorrow, Friday, and I'm taking my ex to the beach. Later on that evening she has a dinner to go to with some friends. I feel it will be to much for her, for the next day to wake up early, Metro North to the city and then take the train to Coney Island. So change of plans, going to see Man of Steel. Nevermind I download a clear ass copy on her computer, no, we are going to go and pay $12.50 to sit in a place with a bunch screaming kids on a Saturday. That might change to just staying at home watching it on her huge ass TV...I hope. Depends on if I see she is really tired.

Shit Just Went Defcon 6 !!

100 pages in a book I started reading on my Kindle; mind you THE FIRST KINDLE, the screen went bad on me. My fault really. I stuck it inmy back pocket, got on the train AND SAT THE FUCK DOWN!!  I could shoot myself with an uzi if I had the balls.

Now I'm forced to use my 10 inch Tablet. Wait, that last sentence sounded like a line from a bad porn movie, but that what I am force to do. No longer will I be different and have a device that's old school. Gonna go on Amazon and see if they have 2nd hand ones, I know they do. I have over 300 books I plan on reading and adding new ones everyday too.

Book I was reading? The Kill Room by Jeffery Deaver. Its freakin' good too!!

Man of Steel

When the trailers for Superman first appeared many months ago, my ex gf TOLD me that we ARE going to go see this movie. She didn't ask me, she TOLD me. Like if I had any say so in it at all.

But I love her in my own special way... I really do. I've known her since 1997, and at one time we both lived together. But that didn't work out to well. I work with food, on my feet all day and on my day off, she wants to go out and be seen. Doing things as couples do. Me, I rather stay home and chill, she wasn't having it though. So we went out ways, but remained close friends. Out of a month, I would spend 2 weekends with her if not all my weekends. So when Superman came out, she being so damn happy...just can't wait to go see it. Was suppose to have went on Saturday that past, but we both were too tired and lazy to get up and go, so this Saturday we are...but wait.

As I type this, I am remotely accessing her computer 2 hours away, and downloading a copy of the movie to her computer. My laptop is sick and I can't fix it and I don't have the extra money to get it repaired. So I remotely go to her laptop and do all my downloading from my Iphone. Transfer it to my Google Drive, then access it through my Chromebook, then transfer it to usb, then plug it into my tablet, then hook it up to my tv. Sounds like a lot, but total time is about half an hour. Oh, she text me before I went to sleep could I download the book, Red Moon for her. She know how to do it, but rather I do it for he, no biggie though.

Some Things That...

...let's see if I have that's right. If you are in this country illegaly, you will be able to apply for citizenship, but its a 10 year proccess. You will be allowed to work, but you won't be able to collect any Public Assistance if you don't work. Sounds fair... I think. So IRS will collect taxes on you while you're working PENDING your citizenship. Hell, anything can happen to you in 10 years. I guess this is a way to keep track of people. I think that the police should stop any one they 'think' is an illegal. If so, arrested and deport. Simple as that.

A female friend of mine; who I think really has some mental issues contacted me. Sje said she wants to cheat on her bf. 'Can I get a hot tub!!' With me I asked? With who ever she responded. She said she isn't doing this cause she caught him or anything, its just her life is too 'vanilla'. I can understand that, plus she has a pretty face, long hair AND a body that stops time. On her body, her bf had NOTHING to do with it. He is too tired after working to pay any attention to her sexual needs. So I questioned her some more. Why do this? Found out is that she just want some penis. She loves it when guys say stupid shit, like what they want to do to her, while she is walking on the streets. Even though, she told me she never responds, a couple of guys she said she would do if only they be more aggressive. WTF?!! Even with me, she told me she came very close to just doing me just to see what it feels like. Found out also, that MOST women feel this way too. So now I know.

I stopped off after work at a friends house yesterday. I'm friends with her and her 'not bf'. He asked did I have any music on me, which I always do. He went in the room to transfer it. She...on the other had, talks a good game. Always saying shit like when are we.... Ih want to do you like... I say, if he isn't your bf, let's go into YOUR bedroom and... she says she doesn't want to disrespect him. Its not disrespect, its respect when you close the bedroom door. I continue to NOT understand females.

My goal now is to NOT give a fuck and, really mean it too.

Yesterday...I Was Asked All Types of Sex & Relationship Questions...and...

...and, do you REALLY want to know what I think, more or less, answers to your questions.
Started at...let's say, some place else. I say this cause you know 'Big Brother' is listening in & watching. She asked me a questions and I knew the answer right off. You see most women know how to play the 'numbers game', that's having more than one 'friend'. Nothing sexual so they say, but you know, aquiring certain gifts and getting their bills paid. Hey more power to them. But sweethearts, ya have to KNOW how to play the game. One thing, if the men you are 'seeing' have cars, you have to go with that at any time, day or night, they can just drive by. Your house, your job..any place. So, when one screams on you while you're standing on a corner, late at night, dress like a hooker and talking to another one of your 'friends'...you earned that tongue lashing. Yep its yours, claim it. Its not that he said that you're dress like a whore, it was that you led him to believe that he was the ONLY ONE in your life. That hole that is under your nose and up from your chin... yeah, your mouth, you have to let us guys know what the deal is. See, we can understand when you tell us you're dating or seeing other guys. But when you tell us you're not seeing or dating other guys, we feel we are your one and only. And we are hurt, not angry when we find out and THEN scream at you on the street WITH that other guy.
The other question came in the form of a text message. I was asked what was 'kinky sex'? This was coming from a 49 year old woman, whom I've had sex with a number of times. Well since she asked I told her this. I said, you know how you like to do it doggy style and have your hair pulled. And how. In the same position you liked you ass spanked all the time you like it rough and me talking nasty to you...KINKY AS ALL FUCK !! I called her to explain it to her. This is also the same woman who have never done oral sex on a man until she met me and she has 2 grown men as her kids. More or less I directed her head to my...well you know, and she took over from there. You know what she then told me? She wants to do tha again, but this time she wants to swallow. Oh bless her soul. She also question me on anal sex. I asked her was she ready for that? She said she doesn't know. Don't worry, you won't see it coming, it will just happen.
See, that's what I mean when I say, women, us men talk you into having sex with us most of the time. I've been told afterwards that they had no intentions of having sex with me, but I talked them into it by saying how good it can be. I'm not saying I w1as the cause of their pleasure, but I got the juices flowing and bought out the animal instinct in her or them. To me sex starts with communications, not talking about how good you are in bed, but by what you want to do not 'to' them, but 'with' them. Problems arise when you think you're being creative, but that woman has heard it all before. Not saying I use a line on woman, but I just go with what I feel. I say what I like to see them dressed up in underneath those clothes. Most of the time she will have what I've requested in her panty drawer just gathering dust and have never been used. If the woman has a nice butt and long legs, that's an easy one, cause most have never put that outfit from Victoria's Secret on that's she spent a lot of money on and have never worn.
But guys, you have to tread lightly here. You can't really go all out freaky deaky with them, on them. Women will quickly have in their mind that you do this with all woman and you're just a notch on your belt to them. That where communication comes in. I've notice when meeting woman online this... Most if not all, not all, but most want a man on the side to take care of them...and they expect you to know this. Married ones, they're not in it for the sex, they're married and the sex game ended for them 10 years ago. They want your money. Some will fuck you once, maybe twice and then start saying what they want and expect. Me, I will tell them straight up, I'm in it for the sex only. Don't want you as a girlfriend, but will take you on as a fuck buddy. Those that do, have everything they already need. Job. Secrued home and their own money, its just the hubby isn't giving them excatly what they want and need. And guys, if you run into a woman like this, don't be timid and NOT know what to do, or how to set up your little sexual romp. Do your homework, find out prices of short stay motels, out of the way spots. Believe me, there is nothing like meeting a woman online and for the very first meeting,hyour face to face, you're rubbing bellies together.
What's really nice afterwards, she tells you she has a girlfriend who would like the same thing you just did with her,and are you available...SWEET. hey sometimes that happens ya know.

Is It Time To Eat Yet?

Yesterday was my ex's birthday, so I took her out to eat. One of those places where they cook your food right in front of you. I'm not all about going out to eat and stuff. I work with food, around it way too much and for such a long time. I don't understand the whole concept about goibg out to eat anyway, its over priced and you can make the same product at home and even cheaper. Who am I to complain where as I make my living..earn my $$ by people going out to eat.

First time I have ever ate in a place like this. The table was set for 8 people, but since we were the only ones at the table, the Chef prepared it entirely just for us. He even threw in some extra food. I had the surloin steak...GREAT!! For now on if I want steak, I will travel the 2 hours by public transportation to this place. There is nothing like seeing your steak go from raw to the way you want it cooked and STRAIGHT to your plate. I don't understand why all food in ALL restaurants aren't prepared this way. For the price, I figuredthe potions would be small, nope. Large, with enough for a 'human bag' to take home. Damn the dogs. Appertizers, salad, main course..veggie and a pasta. PLUS ice cream. All for $21.95. Not bad.

The experience was such a good one that I am venturing out all other cultures of food. Next to be taken on, Greek Food. Don't know when, but soon. I have to watch out though.weighed myself this morning, I'm at 168lbs....WOW !!

Is This 1984? I just Have To Ask

I wonder why people are surprised by our government listening in on our phone calls and reading our emails. Doesn't surprise me at all, plus I could care less. Put it to you this way. Times are hard right now, right? All they can do is send me to jail, can't kill me. I'm doing okay taking care of myself, not getting into any trouble or anything. So I just thought of some things.

Arrested me rightabout now, I don't care. I will cop to it. You wanna know why? I probably will do better..well not so better, but I would be okay with being locked up. It also depends on were I will be doing my time, and that would depend on where and what state I get arrested in. I'm walking on tissue paper here in New York City. Here, you can get arrested, locked up just for looking at the Police wrong. So I'm careful when I'm out & about. But any other state, sure, I would be okay, here's why.

I would be more healthy cause they are serving food like that. Some prisons, you can continue your eduaction and it doesn't cost a cent. But I heard they are cutting that out in some places, but I think it should continue. I mean, if you have to serve 5 years, you should be allowed to get your degree and it depends on what type of crime you did to get you in jail. I know this all sounds crazy, but we have been living in a crazy world and its gonna get even more crazier.

'...if ya don't eat ya meat, how can you have any pudding. How can ya have any pudding if ya don't eat ya meat'

Dislike this type of shit when it happens to me, and it happens a lot too.

2 weeks ago, I mentioned to the Chef that watch, things are going to get so bad that the government is gonna have us eating dead people. Like in that movie Solvent Green. That man is destroying the land so much and so often that we aren't going to be able to grow any food, and the animals we eat with not be because there won't be any natrual land for them to feed on. The rest of the kitchen staff laughed at me. Then in one of the free newspapers an article...

Its called 'Soylent', an innovation from U.S. Biohacker Rob Rhinehart. Soylent combines every nutruent the human body needs each day according to the FDA in a SINGLE dose od a super-charged PASTE. Google his name and the name 'Soylent'

After you read what's said, then think about this. No refrigeration is needed. No feed waste and no litter. Is this what's in store for the future of food for man?

All is At Peace...Well For The Time Being...I Think

...but shit is always subject to change. That's one thing I can say for myself, I can adapt to change. Being patient is what I have to work on.

I'm not saying that some people don't know how to do their jobs, I don't work in that field, but... if I have been 'dabbling' in that field when you were a...teenager? Yeah, I do know the precautions. I say this because my old reliable Notebook got 'sick' on me, lost Network Adapters. Did everything I could, but wasn't able to make it feel better. So, I handed it off to Tech Support at the job, the day after Memorial Day. Just got it back yesterday and its still not working. But they had a solution, back up everything and they will wipe it clean. To me that's the easy way out. I'm gonna take it to a shop which charges ONLY $85 dollars for a re install of OS, will upgrade to Win 7 Pro, but its a Notebook so I might be only be able to go to basic...whatever.

Patricia lives about 5 blocks from me, and from looking at her pictures and finally meeting her in person, she is a looker. Jamacian Beauty, Tips, Lips & Hips...and tattoos too. Oh, she is married and is a LPN. Ladies, do you...are you ready to deal with cheating on your husband with me and for the matter any other man. Do you know what it encases? Nevermind you say you aren't sleeping with him and he still lives in the same household as you. I am NOT a supplement to your income. We, I am in it for ONLY the sex and maybe, if you can get away for a while, going out to certain events I think you will enjoy. I can understand you want to live that pampered life, but that shit came to an end when one, you got married, 2, you had a child by him. So now at the age of 34, you want to NOW step out and do you? WTFF (what the flying fuck).

Oh sure, you say you can do whatever you please cause its over betweenyou two, but...why are you telling me all this madness about a babysitter. That's on your end, and I don't pay!! That's why I requested that we met in person first, so I could tell you just what what is. And don't think he won't find out that you're stepping out on him. Cause your whole atittude will change, yeah it does. Cause all of a sudden you will be more cheerful, you won't be arguing about why he doesn't at least rinse out that cup he just used and left in the sink, you'll just wash it out yourself. He will notice how your appearance has changed too. Applying makeup, new perfume and a bounce to your step. Soon after he will take to noticing your pattern, then following you afterwards, then a confrontation not only with you, but with me too. I can handle my own, cause I will just back away and not say a word, do nothing unless he puts his hands on me. But you look good, so he might just shoot me.

So I ask myself, are you worth it? I don't plan on having you as my girlfriend or anything, too old for that shit. You will be some one I am just fucking. Why you ask I feel that way? Listen, you did that to your husband, cheating on him with me. What will you do with me? So are you worth it I ask again?

I Am NOT a Robot, But Though..Sometimes I Act Like One

First to let off some steam. Monday's...people dislike them a whole lot. Me, I just love me some Monday's. Its the time to start the week all new, forget about all the bad things that happened the week before. For me, Monday morning train ride is a breeze...except this past FUCKING MONDAY !!!!!!

A female friend of mine who claims we are in a relationship, but haven't slept with each other over a FUCKIN' YEAR, asked me to meet her on the train. Mind you, I have to get up extra early and transfer for the train that she is going to be on and that means either a 10 to 15 minute wait. No biggie, I have my Kindle, reading this great ass book too. Her train pulls in and something told me as I looked through the window that shit was gonna hit the fan. She is sitting close to this pole and on the other side of the pole is a little space, but this guy is like taking up 3 seats. I 'asked' him, could he please move over. He starts going off on me. Telling me out of all the open seats on the train; which there were none, that I had to sit next to him. About 30 people in the car of the train are looking at me & him. I let him say his thing, trying to ignore him because he DID move over, but he keeps going on and on. My friend knows how I am...I DON'T REALLY GIVE A FUCK, so I told him to shut the fuck up. He then calls me a faggot, and I call him a faggot lover, the train car laughs. There is one thing that you hope NEVER happens in a situation like this, you get people to laugh AT someone you are arguing with. At this point this feeling came over me, let me try to explain cause it was a weird one.

At this point I was just a second or 2 from just elbowing this guy in his throat or facial region. Maybe you know the feeling, its like you're JUST arriving at the point of no return, that you say to yourself, fuck it, go for it. But things happened kind of in slow motion. First thing that came to mind was that in my backpack was this months rent that my mother was expecting me to drop off at the rental office after work today. Second, I thought about having to take a shower with a whole bunch of men, who I really don't want to be around, waking up way too fucking early AND not having access to the internet and nothing to read. Like I said it was a matter of seconds these thoughts came in my head...so I...backed down. The Kraken was almost released.

I met a young lady who lives about 2 blocks from me, met her online, exchanged numbers. Thing is she is married and is very unhappy in her marriage. She claims she is missing out on sex. I can't believe that, but she is a nurse and she works some crazy hours. Me being me I told her what I am about and what I am looking for. What I'm not looking for is to take care of any grown women and she believes that wouldn't happen with her. She just called me and told me she is home, has to do laundry and will call me later on. Again, we will see where this goes.

2 weeks from now I am going to ride from The Bronx, all the way to White Plains NY. Its a 12 mile ride ans should take me about an hour to get there...I hope...alive.