Questions...

Why is it when Man gets use to do the same thing every day, and when things or and people throw a Monkey Wrench into our every day doings, we get all FUCKED UP !!!

There is only one person that I change my plans for, and that is for my mother. Its not because presently I am living in her home, nope that's not it. It is for her, without her going thru with her pregancy of me, I wouldn't even be here. I know at times I wish or have wished that I have never been born, but that was when shit was hitting the fan. Now, I imagine myself not even being born, not often, but I do.

I imagine not being able to see what all there is I have seen so far in my life. Like when times sometime get hard, I think to myself that I'm lucky to even be present to see these hard times. I admit, I have had some good times more than bad and times where I don't even know what to call it. Good, bad...border line, what the fuck, I'm living them. Some times...I can get stuck. Most times its all of my doing. Like I...my mind proccess so many thought patterns at I think at the same time, that I'm actually just stand still cause I don't know where or when to start. Its funny.

I make plans for the weekend since I don't work weekends. Like this weekend out in Coney Island, The Mermaid Parade. Every year I sa I will attend. Most years I forget or I read about it in the newspapers and I always say I will go next year and never so. Well this year, I WAS taking..no, I was going by myself, then I said I was taking my ex. A co worker lives out in Coney Island and he told me its best to go by yourself cause its CRAZY !!! Now, I'm off tomorrow, Friday, and I'm taking my ex to the beach. Later on that evening she has a dinner to go to with some friends. I feel it will be to much for her, for the next day to wake up early, Metro North to the city and then take the train to Coney Island. So change of plans, going to see Man of Steel. Nevermind I download a clear ass copy on her computer, no, we are going to go and pay $12.50 to sit in a place with a bunch screaming kids on a Saturday. That might change to just staying at home watching it on her huge ass TV...I hope. Depends on if I see she is really tired.