Sometimes...I Just Turn The Music Off and...

...and I listen to whats around me. I listen to music MOST of the times when I am traveling, when I'm riding the subways to and from work. Who wants to hear all that noise, so I listen to music. This one time I listened to the noise and something very strange happened.

Got on the train right after work and I decided that I wasn't listening to music this afternoon. I will listen to people and hear what they are talking about. Five stops later, woman gets on, sits across from me and starts crying. Another woman sat down right next to her and asked her was she alright. She said no, and then explained what was going on with her. It turns out that she is having problems at work with coworkers. Blaming shit on her when things don't go right. When projects come in late, her coworkers make it a point to tell their Supervisor that it was her fault, which she says it isn't. But no one believes her and its driving her crazy. She feels like she is going to get fired. She even went into detail about one project which I knew nothing of, but she seems to know it and what it takes to get that job done. But no one on the team listened to her, her voice had no say so in the matter. As all the blame was put on her, thus she feels like she will be the cause of all the things that did go wrong, thus she feels her job is about to fly out the window.

I really felt sorry for her, and I believe that she wasn't the cause of all her worries. Its her coworkers, there are people in this world who are like that. I'm going to call it as I see it, they are ass kissers. They are the ones who take all the credit when things go as planned, but when there are problems, they are quick to blame others. We all have them in our work places, some hide it better than others and some are just out right with their doings. To be blamed for something that isn't your fault is the most fucked up feeling in the world. When your team blames you and there isn't anyone in your corner to blame the real person...you just want to just lay down and die. But what most of us do is..we, starting pointing out who really is the blame. All you have to do is look into the eyes of the ones that are blaming you, Not all feel its your fault, but they will side with the most and the strongest of the team. That strong team member..what they say, goes and if you're the blame, there is nothing you can do cause the whole team will side with that person.

This is happening quite a bit in the work place now and it will get even worst. That quiet person that the office always talks about being strange.. That quiet person that everyone blames shit on...That quiet person who gets all the extra work dumped on them on a Friday when in fact the whole team could help out and get it done in minutes... THEY WILL SNAP or... They will continue to do what they are told because a decent good job is still very hard to come by and they don't want to be a problem, and they want to feel like they are part of the team and... Like I said, its happening all over the place now.

I dislike when there is a person like that in any work place. They feel they are superior to all those they work with or for. The Supervisor see and knows of this person, but they won't do anything to change it because that person is keeping most of the workload away from them. This distaste I have for a person like this is worst than stepping in dog shit. With dog shit, you can just clean your shoes off, but with a person like this..there is no cleaning up. In fact, you should just throw those shoes away. Oh, I will and I haved spoke up when I see a person like this. I let them know I see what you are doing if not to me, but to others. And you know what...you day will come. So called fighting your way to the top when in fact there is NO top. Stepping on others to get what you want, when in fact, no one that matters really care, they don't know who you really are, you mean nothing to them..those at the top.

But everyone is shocked and amazed when weeks, months and even years go by and then that person snaps. Then they all say...either good things or bad things. Come question me with your pads and pens, your digital recorders and you GoPro's 2, I will tell you the truth AND I will name names..ALL OF YOU !

Tired of Stating...

Its like this, if I am not happy about something, I speak up. If it continues, I speak up again. If it happens the third time, I ignor and do what I have to do. Simple like that.

On another note...I don't even know why I bother. I mean going through the motions. I already have made my mind up.

The work place is...let's just say its screwed as we know it. Before, many years ago, people, me...I couldn't wait until I got to work and do my job. Now, it all seems like a hassle. Maybe I have be working in the past with my eyes closed, but I don't think that's what it is. Its just that I was made aware of something and it just doesn't suit me, but I do understand what's happening.

When I open up my cafe, I know what I will be looking for in employees. I don't want robots or people who think they are God's gift to the work force. They must know how to serve customers and still keep who they are in mind. If I hear one of them say, ' ..and you have a nice day.' Thry are fired. Also if they say, ' have a blessed day', right out the door. Sorry, that's how I will run my place.

It Was So Hot That....I Went To the Beach

When the hot days came upon us, I made it my thing...I told myself that every 2 weeks I would go to the beach. It didn't matter if it was raining, I would still go. Being that I like 20 minutes by bike from Orchard Beach...and yes, The Bronx DOES have a beach, I would peddle my butt there. On the times when my ex girlfriend would want to go, we would go to the beach by her, Rye Beach.

It's even, I spend just about the same amount of time at both beaches. But Rye Beach is the place to go to if you want to see some beautiful women, ALL types of women in their glory. Most of them, the women come in groups of about three. Family friendly beach that it is also. But these women...they have no problem 'letting it all hang out', and I'm loving it.

First bit of equipment a guy MUST have are mirror reflecting sunglasses. Its not so obvious that you are looking this way. And for me, a flotation vest. See I like to go way out in the water and I don't want to rely on myself of staying afloat. Besides its more fun this way.

A couple, man and women sat RIGHT in front of me. She had on a 2 piece. And let me tell you, she had the body of a porn star. Not in the breast area mind you, but below the breast area. I couldn't help but to look at her while she was sun bathing. Especially when she laid on her stomach. When they left, she told me and my ex that she would see us later.

One of the Lifegurads and I had a nice conversation, we exchanged numbers and she said she would love to visit the beach in my area next weekend. I told her tht I would be there looking for her.

The band Tool Said it Better....

...'fuck all you junkies & your short memories'. From the song Learn To Swim.

I have nothing against anyone who decides to use drugs, its your body, do with it as you please. I am NO stranger to the drug world. I go way back with drugs. As for dipping into them this present day..I don't think so.

I found for myself, that if I want to use, I can't do anything else. I'm talking about eating, working or having a relationship with women. Its not even a relationship, I talking about just having sex PERIOD !! I am also NOT talking about weed. I'm talking about cocaine, crack and herion. The last one definitly NOT, but the first 2...um, been there and done that.

Cocaine, was a steppinlg stone many many years ago. Graduated to crack and received top honors in that. Brief 6 month course...it wanted me to 'continue my education', but I couldn't afford the classes. These 2 are a full time job which the pay is like not even...hell, you DON'T get paid if you are using. Being broke, dirty and hungry isn't a good feeling. I bring this up because I was reminded of my pass this morning.

One guy standing in front of the store, $200 sneakers on. Fresh milky white t shirt, and nice shorts on. Standing across the street...3 people, 2 guys and a woman...looking greasy as all hell. One guy tried to sell me a backpack that look like a suitcase for an overses trip as I went into the store. I was using the ATM. He comes in and ask me again, hence the 'fuck your short memory' statement. He goes out the store and goes to the other 2. As I walk past I& hear one say, I grab him, you go through his pockets'. I stop and say if you do, I will kill the woman. I wouldn't do anything like that, but they don't know.

One, its TOO DAMN HOT to be doing any drugs or even drinking, outdoors. Even chasing people, asking people for money...to hot for that shit too. So I say, what made you even get open to even START? That shit is crazy. But what if the government made ALL drugs legal, would we have a total breakdown of society as we know it. Or, would the world embrace drug use? The way I see it, the United States would cease to exsit. It would be a total breakdown of humanity, nothing would never get done. For those who haven't tried, then would be the time to try...and be totally devastated. I give the country 3 days to a week before shit hits the fan.

As I walked past those 3, I got angry at myself. I thought, that's was how the world use to see me in the morning when I was out there. It didn't matter or bother me then, but know it does. I do not think I was better than any of those 3 cause I knew and know what it felt like to be in that grip, that deathy grip of drugs. I really don't know what made me stop, I just did. That's why until this day I can make $14 last almost 9 days. Its priorties, I put them first.

Change Part 2

See, some more changes. Google Drive changed their whole look. Its totally different from when they first started. Also, Gmail has changed too. Now there are folders in your email. Primary, Social and Promotions. Watch tomorrow there will be something else that has changed.

Change...You Know It Will Come

We as humans dilike change, it like throws us all over the place. We, me...I get use to doing things a certain way, and then...I have to do them another way. Sometimes these changes are bought upon ourselves, me. Then there are times when change happens and I had nothing to do with it.

I say this cause...if it isn't broken don't fix it, or try to, or attempt to, or even though you think its helping, I is NOT!! Since they took Art Bell off of this one radio station I listen to and moved him to another, I decided to listen to him on internet radio. TuneIn.com. it was a constant stream, 24 hours a days a week. It was all rebroadcast, but so what. It was better than me searching and then downloading and then transffering to a mp3 player. Then, the stream just wouldn't connect. It wasn't my Tablets fault. I guess the bandwidth cost mucho money and they no longer could afford it. See, change.

I like me my Paranormal Radio. And, I just love this one channel called Darkness Radio. Its raw, funny...but serious. I was listening one night and they had a guest on, Jodie Polos. She wrote a book called The Haunting in Graet Bear Lake, a True Story. As a teenager, her and her twin sister with her uncle moved into this house that was..haunted. she spoke of what she went thru while in the house. What she spoke of was so good and ilnteresting that I ordered the book from Amazon. The book was published independently, I guess by her because none of the pages ahs numbers on then and the book isn't all that big. I read it in one shot. It was great!!

I believe that there are forces out there that we still don't understand and this book proves it. I remember when I was young, around 7 years old. My uncle had passed away. I was in the living room with my mother and she looked up and so did I. We saw a shadow in the hallway. The shadow was of a huge man. My mother then said, Uncle Sonny, don't bother us now, move on. I then saw the shadow leave. That was something to see.

What Happens When The Message Is Given...and Its Recieved Differently.

I was given a t-shirt yesterday by a woman. She approached me and told me that she say a shirt and it reminded it of me. She told me she would give it to me later on. I say her later and I told her about her statement. She did give me the shirt, a novelity shirt with a statement on the front. A little about this woman first.

She is Brazilan, short and around the same age as I am. Looking at her you can tell that she watches what she eats and worships her body. In the past she would say little things...things that to me...I would give a smart comeback too. One time she said something and I was shocked with that coming from her. I didn't know what to reply so I kept my mouth SHUT!! Hey, you never know if she would had went screaming...sexual harassment. All in all, she quite attractive but, I do know she is married.

So, what do I do, that is after she gave me the shirt, the next day, what do I say. I have already have in my head what I'm gonna questioned her about. First question will be why?

Just Found Out That I Cant Drink Coffee While Wearing a White T

...some how or another, one drip. Always seems to find the shirt. Now I will feel self consious when riding the train thinking everyone will be focus on that ONE spot on my shirt.

I'm not saying that people don't know how to do their jobs in their respected fields, but... Not everything is ALL text book. I had an appointment with this conselor, kind of anger managment thingy. I say I don't have anger issues, I just have zero tolorance for assholes when they invade my space. Who hasn't want to just rip an asshole's head off his body at one time or another. I feel that some people, who go thru life without any issues like this are time bombs. It didn't help the matter when I pointed out to him that most violent work place issues don't happen mostly with people of color, but when they do, there is more to the matter tham that is spoken about. I really believe this with all people.

Sometimes you can go and complain about this or that, and your supervisor gets tired of hearing it. Then that leaves the person with no other way BUT to handle it on their own, which most times is very violent. I would never get to that point, I do know how to walk away..from the job completely. But those that sit in that 'chair', don't understand this. I feel this way about the matter...its all textbook to them.

I don't know if they keep up with the changing times, but things do change. I pointed out this to him...in the 'chair'. What you did..5, 10 years agao, what you learned, you can't always applied those same methods. Society and its changing ways always prove this. As for those who are completely in charge...they feel as if they are God-Like. I see it every working day, I see it in print in the newspapers and on TV. Certain people get treated a certain way because of their skin color. For those who continue to say, 'no, it isn't like that', they really need to step back, have a seat and listen & look at things for what they really are.

I'm not using my skin color as an excuse either cause I don't let issues of wrong doing to me, I don't bring race issues into factor. But it is what it is. I treat people, male, female, backor white the same. If you do something that bothers me, I do know how to approach you with this matter. Usually its 10 to 15 minutes later, wen to them, they think the matter is over with. I see that look in their eyes when I bring it back up..its the look of..'why say something now, you did what I TOLD you, right?' Right then and there when I see that look, my mind has already summed up that person's..how I feel about them from there on out. Until they do something in the future that will or would change my thoughts...yep, their an asshole.

I say this cause..people will treat you the way they want to until YOU, the person stand up and say something. People in general get the impression that they just have total control over other people when in fact they have no control over no one but themselves. Because at the end of the day, at night, when you lay your head down to sleep, you self consious comes into play. The tape is rewinded of the day. You know what wrongs and injustices you done to people. If you're a person with compassion shit should really bother you. And, if you claim you're a person of God, your first move should be to say you're sorry for your mistakes before you drift off to sleep. But then again, MOST people don't care.

Gone are the feelings they ways of treating people like you want to be treated across the board. We weren't born this way, some are bought up this way and will continue to pass it on to future generations. You know what I say?....

Lawd...I can't wait until the Zombies come. Then we will really see the weak from the strong. Bring them on !!

Early One Tuesday Morning...

...my usual, get on bus to train station. Stop & get an $8 pack of cigarettes and a coffee. But this time 2 beautiful young women are in the store.

Woman A tells woman B, this is the guy I told you about, I use to work with him about 5 years ago, but he doesn't remember me. She goes into telling her that if I had made a more on her then, I could have 'got' it. Woman B says what about now? Woman A says yeah, he still could but 'we' are all going to work right now. I spoke up and asked, the both of you would be worth missing a day of work. Woman A looks at woman B and gives her that look, the look of are you down? Woman be says she can't miss another day of work. Woman A gives me her number, no name and told me to call her tonight at 8pm.

I don't even remember her, but people looks change over the years so I could have worked with her. I will call her tonight though.

????

2 weeks ago a co worker and got into an argument, I had to go see a counselor. Back at work though.

What I don't understand is NO ONE asked me what my side was. I was told cause the guy was here for 9 years, and this is the first time something has happened for him like this. Whatever is what I say.

Facebook...Is Really Good For One Thing...As Far As I Know

My memory of him was on a VERY freaking cold ass day. We were in front of the barracks, the parking lot. There was about 3 feet of snow on the ground and it still was coming down. For some strange reason I wasn't the least bit cold. Ronald Satterthwaite.

To tell you the truth I don't even know if he was my 'best' friend. Can you have best friends while in The Army, who knows. All I know I like hanging out with him. That day in front of the barracks he did something to me, I don't know what it was. But I do know I weighed about 133 pounds soaking wet. I took Ronald...I kind of hip swinged him to the ground. It surprised not only him, but me also. We both laughed. He said something like, "I'm gonna get you little buddy', well something like that. He chased me, but never caught up to me. Thats all I remember of that day and that time.

He met a woman, a pretty German woman, whom he spent most of his time with. To this day I still see her pretty face. She barely spoke a word of English, but when you are in love, its all in the eyes. Ron didn't have a car, but I did and he asked to borrow it one day to go and see her. I told him I didn't think I had enough gas, no problem, he would take care of that and would return the car in the morning. Morning came, formation was over and I didn't see Ron. I caught up with him in the messhall. Oh, and my car wasn't in the parking lot either. I asked him where it was, he told me it konked out on him down in the town and he JUST left it there. No biggie. Turns out the car was on its last legs anyway, and when I found out where it was: at a junk yard, I sold it to them for $50 dollars. See, he was a GOOD friend.

Fast forward MANY years, 2011. Ron came to mind, and I went to Facebook and searched. Found some one who didn't even look like the Ron I knew, but I emailed him anyway. TODAY he emailed me back. Yep it him !! Says he lives in Baltimore, and is no longer married to that German woman, but she is on Facebook. I asked to be added as a friend and within 1 hour she accepted. But what do I say?

So Facebook has its good points.