Friday, March 18th 2016....

...feelings I had on that day will stay with me for a little bit. Perhaps another 5 days or so. Here is what happened...

I should have known back in November of last year... But me and myself giving people second chances... She had moved to another city, but within NC and reached out to me. Yeah, I got good vibes the first time and wondered what happened to her. She told me something about...it's not too important now. But I met her at the bus station, ticket I paid for, one way here. She was suppose to stay with me the whole weekend...that never happened.

All I know is this... People can TALK a very good 'game'. Game as in meaning... The life they WANT to live and supposedly are living...is different from the actions you SEE they live in real time, real life. How can you tell a person...how you want them to dress when you go out with them...and the person, me....dresses the way you SAY you want them to...but, when you show up, you look like you just pulled your clothes out of a dirty clothes hamper and threw them on.

I don't know where some people get their manners from, maybe from a pack of wild dogs or something but... When you go out to eat in a fairly nice place, you should be able to know how to order what you want and be clear on ordering what you want. The waitstaff can not read your mind. And, when talking to the waitstaff..it shows when you kind of berate them for getting your order wrong..and you STILL aren't able to tell them what you want? But to blame it on them? I work in The Food Service Industry, and we work very hard. When we get a customer that KNOWS what they want to eat and KNOWS how to order said item, be it that it's to be made a certain way...when we get that order, we relay it to the kitchen and the Chef makes it the way we tell them to. So, when it comes to the table...it was made the way your ordered it. Moving on.

In the PAST, I have done my fair share of drugs...yeah, THAT too. But today, drug free for a very long time. I don't care what you do and when you do it around me and I have TOLD you about my past use and you... I don't expect you to change your ways, your drug use for me while being around me. I have a mouth and if it gets too much for me to bear with and to handle, I have 2 feet, I can walk away. But...inside of a car and you light up...with a child in the back seat besides me?! When the smell drifted to the back, I opened the window...because of the child.

The deal was...I take you, your daughter with her child out to lunch and you, later on tonight cook dinner for the 2 of us. After lunch, we go to the supermarket...I was to be the ONLY one going in, but you and your family comes in also. Your daughter puts a $8.99 pack of Pulled Pork in the shopping cart. I looked at her like she lost her mind. You tell her not to, she pays no attention, okay I purchase it for her. Then at the register, she also has a can of air freshener and gives me $1 for it. ???? What about the Pull Pork?

Get to my place... You have 2 beers AND want to light up again. NOT IN HERE YOU CAN'T, so we take a walk. You being high and stuff forget about you're suppose to cook, no problem because at this point in time, I want you to leave.

Smh, Gtfo,

What? What do you do when there is a woman whom you have had a past with.. Wants you back in her life...but plays on the 'other team'... Is battling with her feelings.

Oh..and Wtf? Exactly, fits right on in. I gave her what I thought, my opinion...which she really didn't want to hear. I guess she thought I was going to sugar coat shit. Nope.

So, you got those feelings of yesteryear, me down there...treating you right...down there. But you switched up and now you're having these feelings of... Cause you 'Came Out', let the world know... But you thought and contacted me after what, more than 10 years and thought of those times... You should have NOT reached out and contacted me. What you expect me to say, act.

What? Oh, I have a way with words, my voice took you back to when... Wait, you don't like penis anymore...or do you? Keep conforming to how you think you should be because the world says this or that...just be you.

Why can't you have the best of both worlds. Oh, I see why you can't. Because it doesn't look right being born one way, switch up and then want to switch up again. The world will and might label you confused, huh? Well, I like Chinese Food, but will eat Wendy's of Burger Kind also...when I feel like it.

***WARNING***..This Post is X(XX) Rated

I'm NO expert, but I know what I like and HOW I like it though.

Remember in the 80's with the Aids thingy going on...makes you wonder why...no, that's a whole different story but... In the 80's with the outbreak of Aids, it seems that there was STILL a lot of fucking going on. You took your chances, protected or unprotected, who the fucks knows if you were going to wake up with The Monster. I was...I was acting like a hamster, but I was producing any offspring(s)..'Ya gotta keep them separated', The Offspring. Sorry, that song popped in my head. Don't judge me, I have sex without protection. To me and ONLY me, it's...would you take a shower with your clothes on? NO!! Check ups 3 times a year, test every 90 days...THANK YOU VA!! I'm not picky, but I know what I like. Anywho..a lot of fucking was going on. Then, I got older.

There are a lot of women who were born in my year and are around my age out there. All have qualities about them that are outstanding. You can't base a woman on how she looks on the outside either. But, these women...something weird as hell, something is different about them as the got to the same age as I am. All of a sudden, they talk about diseases being out there, being picky and choosy on who they sleep with. Your decision is your decision is what I say..but take a closer look. Take the woman who has 3 children. Oldest is by one guy who she broke up with. 2nd child is by the new guy and 3rd child is by the first guy she broke up with. Might be a 4th child in the making, back with the 2nd guy, huh? Only goes to prove one thing. Women will stick with or go back to the guys they feel are 'safe' to sleep with for sex...no matter if he had cheated, stole from her or even beat her up. Not all women, some and most.

I know there is another word I could use..but fucking is GREAT!! Admit it, it is right? A guy releases...it's like he sees God. A guy makes a woman release..he is KING!! ...and she likes that shit too, that's why she always comes back to him. A woman who gets us to fucking the same guy, knows what is expected of him. She is use to is dick hitting all the right spots. When he goes down on her, his tongue touches all the places that she wants and needs it to be touched. Ah...FUCKING IS FUCKING UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING GREAT!! But the actual act of..well fucking, doesn't have to have any penetration involved on the male part at all.

I got a Friend Request..hell, okay..Add, accepted. Didn't bother to look at their page at all. Months go by...day before yesterday I'm online and I get a message...'Do you remember me?' I typed no, remind me. She said we use to sleep together and I was debating on whether to contact you or not because...I just want to know if there could be something still there. We exchanged numbers, texted each other. She sent me a picture. NOW I remember her. Big woman, but the tightest pussy I have ever entered in my who adult life. The view hitting it from the back...it's Porn Magazines rated. Kissing her...let's say she KNOWS how to kiss and that alone would make a guy 'pop off'. So we do the text thing for a while, it gets graphic a s all hell too. I decided to call her and she answers. I hear a lot of heavy breathing, she is talking..not hold sentences. After about 2 minutes I hear a whimper like sound and then a shriek, more heavy breathing and then a loud 'FUCK'. I asked is she alright..little did I know, she had the biggest orgasm right in my ear and you know what...I got harder than a Jeep steering wheel. I said damn, it's like that? She said while I was texting her she thought of the times we were together..and one thing led to another and when I called..she just exploded. She told me she has to go and clean up and will call me back. She hasn't called me back since. WOW!!

In 5 days..I will be 'boarding' a whole different mode. Let's see what this is going to be like.

Manners...How Many of Us Have Them. (Sung to the tune of 'Friends', by Whodini)

'...ones we can depend on,'

It started a LONG time ago...when I parents instilled in us..'say thank you', 'please'. It's suppose to stay with you all thru your life too...but somewhere along the way, some people have lost their manners. But as a young adult, 18-25...let's just say I don't blame it on the parents, I blame it on the person. But then again, you CAN blame it on the parents.

I always will and continue to say, your kids are a reflection of you. Though you may have some decent parents and their kids are lost... Doesn't take away from the parent(s) though. Maybe they, the parents have just given up...maybe the parents want to teach their children a lesson and let them learn the hard way. But some of these young adults have a sense of entitlement about themselves...thinking that they have it like that...thinking that they can do and say and act any old kind of way they want to. I cringe now...thinking, did I act that way as a young adult, NO!!

To the single parent, the mother...bringing up children in a household where she is the only breadwinner and handling the chores of being the father also..I know is hard. But your actions while raising your children should also be a reflection on how you want your children to end up being in the long run. It's hard on the single mother doing this, I see it...their actions dealing with men in general. The attitude of thinking that they are self-entitled to have things their way and nothing else. Their actions of 'what can you bring to the table', 'I can do bad by myself.' Yep, those words are so cliche.

I watched from a distance how one young lady, watched her as she raised her two little girls. The pictures mostly..and I can see their mother's attitude in every picture that was taken. I can see the mother in those pictures. The little girls didn't pose as little girl, posing as how they seen their mother pose in pictures, copying her. I can only imagine the conversations these little girls have when they are playing with other children in the neighborhood. ...and then it happened. They got into a fight with other children while playing. She came out of the house screaming, ranting and raving at the children who were fighting with hers. How I know this, she told me so, said she was watching from the window. All that screaming at some one else's child only bought out the child's parent, the mother and then 2 female adults are raising hell...which certainly brought the police along. So, the children are standing around watching the mothers going at it...which in my opinion only shows the children that this is the way you handle things. When I was a child and I got into a fight while playing, my mother would beat my ass in front of the other child. And that other child got the same thing from his mother. As a child, we did not want to be seen getting a 'whopping' in front of our friends. Happen a couple of times and we KNEW NOT to fight each other ever again. But that was in the 60's, 1960...and today, it's a whole other situation.

My parents taught me to 'defend' myself when I was a child and not to let anyone beat up on me. It wasn't about winning, it was about defending yourself. That was with hands, but today, it has progress to guns. 10, 11 and 12 years old today harbor that anger of confrontation and carry it on into their teen and adult years, some of them do, most don't. Those that do, you hear about them getting into more and more trouble. Those that do...as a young adult when you get together as older adults and say..'what ever happened to...', some one will always say that 'oh, he got shot, or so and so is in prison for...'. Then there is a silence... That silence is reflecting back to your childhood and all the things that you did get into. Situations that could have been dangerous. But because of your up bringing, what your parents taught you... You are the one and part of the ones who are walking around making a name and doing the right things in life.

It's sad that parents of today, not all, but some... Don't instill goodness in their children. Some just give up and let their children do as they please...all the way into adulthood. It's the ones that you sometime hear if their child makes the 6pm news...'He WAS a good person and never hurt no one.' But you KNOW the real truth. Because you witnessed it as a a little child way back then.

It all starts with MANNERS!!

Third Eye Blind..'How's It Gonna Be...

https://youtu.be/Femqf_Mel4U

Burning Man 2016..Where...

Burning Man 2016, where you let loose your Soul...and any other body art you care to also.


Ah, my brother is attending again this year. Copped his tickets...took him all of 8 whole minutes to and he is STOKED!! I checked out the prices online myself. OMG, you have to take out a bank loan to attend. Mind you... Attending does NOT guarantee that you will LIVE thru this event. But the memories are priceless. Oh yeah, it's on my Bucket List and I DO plan on attending for my 60th year of Living on Planet Earth. An event like this NEEDS a well THOUGHT plan...needs a year, I think, to plan out. August 28th to September 5th...add 2 days before and 2 days after and... about a week to recover...2 weeks time off from work. THEN..when I go back to work, will I ever be the same? Probably see the world, life in a whole different meaning too. Yep, 60th year...I'M THERE!!

A couple of months ago...I met her online. About 3 days later, I met her in person at her place. When she answered the door, though she knew I was coming..she answered dripping wet, wrapped around a towel. Showed me around her apartment and then changed into her clothes, but not in front of me. We talked for about 2 hours and I left. Next day, tried to get back in contact with her...couldn't, no voicemail or anything set up. MONTHS go by...she reaches out to me. She is in another city but same state..3 hours away. Issues at where she use to live at caused her to move...understandable. We talk for about an hour a day on the phone now for the last week. I invited her back and to stay with me for the weekend, she accepted. We will see.

Some More Stuff

It's nothing like getting that phone call...when you're about to turn in for the night. ...then, 2 hours later... Hold up, I have to work in the morning. Okaybye.

I actually met her a few months back...went to her home. Planned something for the holiday, but I didn't hear back from her until last night. I saw shit happens, don't worry about it, but you did call me now. LONG conversation....talked about a lot of things.... One thing I don't understand and it seems to be a trend...well sort of. How can a woman be shy, still shy..after having children who are of adult age.

I thought about it...nope, isn't anyway possible. Is it just a 'thing' to prove to a man that she is a certain type of woman, or... Is it proving that she isn't a certain type of woman that acts a certain type of way. Either way I say 'shy' isn't the word you should use.

I had another conversation earlier in the day with a 25 year old mother of 2. We meet up at the same place 5 days a week so we had no other choice but to have a conversation...that and to keep these other 2 guys from bothering her every waking morning. But yesterday, the conversation went a bit further, continued on the bus. We didn't speak out loud. She ask for my phone and put in her cell phone number and we continued by text. She texted that it has been almost 5 months since she has had sex and it's driving her crazy. Not from this area, moved here from another state to get away from her child's father. Shelter, job and now she has her own place...but she misses THAT part of her life. Doesn't want a relationship, just want a sex partner who is clean, working and has his shit together. I joked and text back, how about me. She texted, 'DUH!'. But she warned me, she is fertile for  mofo, her words and doesn't approve of condom usage. PRETTY dark skinned woman, a runners body.  I told her we can talk through out the week...she said it's happening THIS Saturday at my place, and asked for my address. But texted, it's ONLY a sexual thing...for now, okay?

Day before yesterday, another friend on a Dating Site made a post that there is something about younger men, their energy. I told her it's not the energy that you speak of, it's the staying power, the rawness of a man younger than you. It's like you are thinking to yourself that you are the envy of every man younger than you...that they want you. I also told her that men of your age see thru your bullshit and don't and won't have anything to do with you and men WAY younger than you are quick to say that they are sleeping with an older woman. But the 2 of you are both living out your own fantasy. He gets and older woman where as he can boast and brag to his male friends. As for you...the impression that you think you are giving him is that you have your shit together and that he is the luckiest man because you chose him to lay in your bed. She then went on to say that men her age are lazy, over weighted and don't want to do anything. I'm suppose to meet her for breakfast this coming Sunday, but I know she won't show up. Oh well.

I've been told that I am dating material but I don't own a car. A man should at my age own a car so he can get around. Again, I don't want that responsibility, and if I do have to go some where, I plan my trips. I don't want that burden of a car not, maintenance..and God forbid, an accident. The people I do know who own cars...seems that their car is always in the shop and our conversations are around how much they have to pay for repairs and the such. Makes me glad that I don't own a car and if I wanted or have to go some where, I can always rent one. One person missed a whole week of work because of her car in the shop being worked on. The bill just caused my heartache and terror to her. ...took from one bill to pay off the repair shop, which is somewhere along the way is going to put her in a hole. Back in the days, a car represented a sense of independence. Today...I say its a luxury.

She Started It By...

....making a reference of 'used cows' and 'getting the milk for free. It was all about a man paying for the date when it's going out to dinner. I released the Kraken.

First of all a first date should NEVER be a a date where you out to eat...formal that is. But I told her that she knows nothing about going out to eat formal any old ways, more or less its fast food for you lady. It's like this, and this is how I see it.

You see her every day at the bus stop or the same place that the 2 of you are always at. Starts off with a greeting and eventually just talking about anything. You ask her does she want to go out and do something, nothing in particular, just something. I stay away from formal getting something to eat because it requires way too much 'getting ready' time. But her being her, she wants to get something to eat. She suggest it, so i will let her name the place. More likely she has been there before..which is a Red Flag. How come she can't pick some where she WANTS to try and never been to?

Here comes the hard part...not for me though. First time you're going out to eat, so who pays? The man, who has money enough to cover for the whole meal and then some, most likely will pay. The woman, she will allow him to pay also. Keep in mind, this is the first time you are going out. How I see it...I will ask her does she want m to pay for the meals. No harm in asking, right? But some women get the impression when a man ask this...that he is cheap and she doesn't want to see him any more because of asking that question. On the other hand, if a woman wants to pay for the meal, I will let her, next meal is on me...if there is a next time.

But let's not focus on the meal, it's the conversation, right? We have all be taught not to talk with our mouths full, but you have to have a conversation during the meal. Conversation during the meal, food gets cold. Me, I just eat, not too fast, but while the food is still hot. Her...she wants to show you that she has table manners and will take her time, it's okay but..your food is getting cold with you playing over it...EAT! This is why I never go out to eat formal, fast food, yes.

Monday, Monday

I LOVE Monday's... New week, start over new, forget about last week.

I have a lot to do this week and one of the main things I have to do is pay rent. You would figure that THAT would be the easiest thing to do, right? But it isn't. Some how they, the people I pay rent to, aren't with 'the times'. STILL on that old fashion way of a person going to and making payment at their place. You would figure in this day and age everything could be done with a click of a mouse.

CIAA..which I never heard of before was in town. College Basketball. I didn't get to enjoy the festivities, nope..none at all. The only reason for that is because I know nothing about it and I guess I was too lazy to even find out. But best believe next year I will be right at it.

Was is it that when a woman is trying to get to know a man...that she, all of a sudden just changes gears. Is it the mans fault..the way he comes across to her and at her. This happened to me. I guess the woman has already in her head what she wants said to her and if that isn't spoken...she shifts gears and gets all defensive. Your views are your views and mine's are mine's. I'm not the type of man that will just agree with you to..well, just agree if I do not feel the same way about a subject that you feel that you are completely right on. I told her that I didn't want to touch that subject. I guess it's her way of weeding out people.

A guy 'acquaintance' came and hit me up for money. I told him straight out that no and how will you pay me back if you're not working. He told me when he does find work, he will pay me back. I don't think so. Gave me the run down, a sob ass story..sorry to call it that but he knew what he was getting into from the start. I'm older than him and been there and done that. With him chasing behind women, spending what he doesn't have because he borrows...people want their money back and I guess they are calling him night and day. I gave him some advice... All those people you owe, you need to tell them the REAL deal, you aren't and don't know when you will pay them back. So, he throws at me that he is hungry. I give him a large package of dehydrated food, just add water and heat. It has everything you need in it and I keep some on hand for times like the one he is going thru. Didn't he tell me some story that he doesn't eat pork. Look at the package, it's CHICKEN!! Said something else to me, but I wasn't paying attention, it's time for him to leave. Don't come to my place without calling first.

I'm gonna try and have a positive week this week...I will see.

F*CK!! I Was Sucked Right Into It Too.

I know I have heard that there are 2 things that you JUST don't talk about. Politics and religion. Could care less about people views on politics, but religion... Hold on folks...either ya gonna love me or want to punch me right in my face after this.

The Bible as far as I know and from what I've been told was and has been written by man, men.  The different books in the Bible were written over periods of time and they were handed down, interpreted by different men, So, some where along the way someone said, 'Hey, let's write this all down and pass it along.' It's like the childhood game called 'Telephone'. First person says one thing, They are The Control', example... 'I went to the store and purchased a banana and an apple.' The control tells the next person in line. That person tells the next and..etc. Okay, got it. So, after 20 people playing this game, the last person goes to the first person and tells them what the message he got at the end. The last person message will ALWAYS be different from the first person, 'The Control'. The Bible, parts of the Bible were written by men, who were NOT even there, they wrote was what was told to them, handed down to them.

Scriptures. People can quote scriptures at the drop of a hat. And, will be the first to ask you are you Saved. I say, Saved from what? They also get VERY upset when you don't call God by his name. If I chose to say, 'Higher Power', what is wrong with that? Also, if you can quote scripture at any given time to any given situation..and are always going around Blessed this and Blessed that... You are forcing your beliefs on me and I will not stand calmly by and allow you to do this.

The six elements that make up life....

http://m.livescience.com/32983-what-are-ingredients-life.html

The Church... Been there, done that. I pray every time I take a shower. Water is life. Without water you die. The shower is the best place for me to do my praying and talking with God. Normal conversation, like i'm talking to any other man..but He IS The Man, THE BIG MAN. I don't have to go into a Church in order to know God. Along with..if I am not saved, does God, or will God ever reach out and talk to me? Some are led to believe that if you aren't Saved, you will not go into the Kingdom of Heaven. I believe there is a Heaven and will continue to believe there is a Heaven but... How do we really know there is. What if when you die..that's it, you're just dead. Which brings me to...


Rapture..The Rapture. I head on the radio, this radio host said... 'When that day comes, how long do you think you can hold out..deny to that Evil Being that you deny your God. You say you will always believe in God until your last dying breath, but do you know what pain really is..can you really hold out and are willing to die for your belief in God.' To me... Most of us believe in physical pain, take pills to cure those aches and pains. But what if it's your Soul that is being attacked? Your inner being..something that you can't take a pill for. A pain that is so GREAT that it actually is tearing your Soul apart. I really took a look at that. Cutting yourself, being shot, hit by a car...oh, that's been on one level that we know of. But your Soul...do we know what THAT pain feels like? I don't and I don't ever want to have to.

In closing... If I choose to worship a rock and you choose to worship God... Does that mean we won't meet up at the same place?

You and I are to meet up one day, say Saturday. You leave from your house in your car and I leave from my house taking public transportation, a bus. I tell you what..I will be there 45 minutes BEFORE you, WAITING on you to get here.

Well..I Never, Wait...Yes I Have

Her first contact to me was about a year ago...states apart. Then, the other day, she reached out to me again.

Told me I seemed interesting all over again and that some changes...BIG changes have been in my life. Duh?!, ya think so. She gave me her number and told me to text her. Funny thing is/was, I had her number already. I told her this and then she screamed, 'what are you, some type of stalker?' Tried to put the blame all on me, but I told her something that made her think.

See, that is what I am talking about. Women have their pick and choices of men who and when they seem fit to date, get in touch with. You notice it on their FB page, all those people as friends...aren't really friends. They can sometimes what I call..'Fall Backs' Fallbacks are men, people you can fall back on, look for support, look for help when times are going hard on you. Just my opinion.

You know me...I want to meet as soon as possible. It's like when detectives are trying to solve a murder and the First 48 hours are crucial. Today's woman wants to know if a man is interested in them... They will say they will not 'chase a man'. They want to be chased. This gives them many options. Because... When a woman you were in contact before, but lost it..contacts you again...in a man's head...which by the way, women, you don't want to be in there. Inside a man's head we get this Green Light and go ALL THE FUCK IN! We don't care what you're contacting us for, all that we know is that you DID.

So, now I am at that stage of..'to see if we vibe, we click' stage. Oh, not me who stated this, this is what I've been told. Another hint that I am 'The Fall Back'. Then I get the...'I don't know if I want to be involved right now' statement. Why did you contact me? Oh, I see, you need something different, something new, huh? Well check this out....

...I Kind of Met Someone But..Haven't Met them.

Online Dating...either it's going to kill me or...drive me crazy!

..it's better, FAR better than Facebook...which I WILL say something about that later. But online dating is simple, fun and sometimes makes you wanna pull what's left of your hair out. Let me explain.

From the comfort of your home, your bathroom, tub or even toilet..you can meet male or females from all over the world. It doesn't get any simpler than that, right. 'Simple'..ah, such an easy carefree word...which gets more abused than your grandfather's 1962 Penthouse magazine, (don't ask).  Www...ya at the website. Sign up, enter some info..what you're looking for, and nowadays if ya a male, you can find you another male..nothing wrong with that, but lets stick with finding us a female. Some sites have you enter a zip code..10, 20 miles radius of your zip code...ENTER.  ....a Candy Store, look at ALL the sweets. Ah, but some of them might not be that good for you...and some of them are just for show. Yep...SHOW.

We as human want to love and want to be love. Where the issue(s) come in at...and I mentioned this all before, it's what we as humans call love. Remember in Junior High School how simple it was then...to get  girl or boy friend. You just walked right up and talked to that person and you knew, sort of, what direction if any you were heading in. NOT online you do!! Profiles..it's what you write to 'attract' the person that you 'want' to meet. Some profiles, straight off the back, women, they say this... 'If you're looking for a Booty Call, pass my profile right on by', or...'I'm looking for my king, because I am a Queen'...yada, yada, yada. I stay FAR away from those profiles. Mostly all profiles are basically saying the same thing.. 'I'm a down to earth woman', which translates into...'I WANT THINGS MY WAY, PAMPER ME, BUY ME THINGS, PAY MY BILLS!'. Sorry, that's how I see it as. But these dating sites are a marvel unto themselves. They tell you how and where the world is heading in the future. They also say a lot, profiles, say a lot about our past too.

Take for example. 40 something woman, looking for her 'Prince' to come along and... 'Save her'. Take her away to black sanded beaches, drinking umbrella drinks and watching the sun set with the sound of waves roaring in the background, Then the sound of the waves, the surf is interrupted by 2 kinds fighting over who gets to use the sand shovel..'mommie, so and so hit me.' Her screaming at the kids to behave or she is going to 'give' them something to really cry about. Or....

The 50 something woman..these are the best. Don't get your panties in a bunch, read on. These are a work of wonder. It's 'their', 'our' time now. Kids are grown with their own kids and have moved out of the home. You would think it couldn't get or be any better..but wait. Those kids WITH Grandkids..who mind you, SAY they want to see their Grandmother... Or, it's the weekend and mom isn't doing anything special, hell, mom don't date and I want to hang out this weekend...let's see if Mom will babysit..which she ALWAYS do...and this is where 'Family means everything'...which is written in their profiles also, which I stay away from those types too. Women of this nature, the 'mothering type', still don't have time for wanting to start something in their later years of their life because the kids have kids and they have to be babysitter. Or...

...the late 30 something woman. Takes Selfies of her butt sinking on the bathroom sink showing and defining what a GREAT ass she has. True THAT. Pretty face, nice shape...a Keeper? Nope...because off camera...she has 2 kinds and 'screaming' that she is single without any kids...only to find out that she DOES have kids, which she claims they are her niece and nephew that she is taking care of because her sister is in jail or something. She too, like almost most of the women have over ONE THOUSAND friends on their profile page...which brings me to...

Women on online dating sites have it MADE. They know they look great, oh yes they do. And every male who is breathing and looking for that Special Woman will surely click that 'add' me button, hence the 1K male friends... But does she have time for them, NOPE. It's all a self gratifying moment for them, shot of sugar straight in the vein... A look at me I am STILL beautiful and men want me moment... A..if I'm having a bad day, I can always go online and look at my inbox at ALL THE MEN WHO STILL WANT ME..which makes me feel like I am STILL WANTED by mankind. Ah, but will they ever meet you, the man, a meeting..in public? Which brings me to...

NO THEY WON'T!! ... and listen, I am not a 'disgruntled employee', so to speak. No I don't expect that every woman I 'meet' online to meet me in person... But for crying out loud..why bother to set up a profile when you KNOW us men do, want and expect to meet you in person at one time or another. Then, they post 'screenshots' of your conversation with them...which personally is of BAD TASTE on HER part. But it's posted not because of what that male may have said in a PRIVATE conversation with her, it's posted for OTHER woman to see. It lets these woman know that her..she is had still does have it going on...see. they. men still want me.

(clears throat) So, why do I and countless other men STILL part take in this online dating thing? Because we can is why. ..and who knows...where it may lead.

...a Knocking At My Door...1:23 am

..thought I was dreaming, but the knock woke me up. I opened the door. Next door neighbor standing there with 37 cents and asking me for a cigarette. This has got to stop!!

Hey, I understand what it feels like when you NEED a cigarette and will do almost anything to have one. Though it never has got that bad for me, but I do know what it feels like. But when you knock on your neighbors apartment door..expect for all hell to be released upon thee.

I told building management about this situation in the past. They asked me his name, and I said, you're management, you KNOW his name already. They told me that they will handle it. Apparently not, or they did say something and this neighbor just doesn't care. He isn't the only one either.

I catch the 5:41 am bus to work. Guy comes 5 minutes before the bus arrives and always ask me for a smoke. Tells me on a Tuesday that he can't wait until Friday, payday so he can buy a pack. One time he actually said to me..when he asked for one, which I DID have one but wasn't giving him one...'I NEVER have any cigarettes.' Ever want to punch someone in the throat, to see what happens? He almost became my science experiment right then and there. On Friday, he wasn't at the bus stop. But, at the Bus Center, saw him in the store buy smokes. I ask where was he, he told me he got a ride into work. Did he offer me a cigarette after all that he has bummed from me in the past 5 weeks...NO!! So, this morning if he ask me for a cigarette, I'm going to read him the riot act.

Because I'm me...

Nope, not today...tomorrow.

Smartphone...MP3 Player...Headphones

Man evolves..okay and so do women. Jesus, I would never hear the end of THAT one. And, so does ones taste of wine, women AND music too. Somehow I manage to bring all 3 together in this post.

Music..in general. I don't know what the heck people are putting out these days and expect grown people who work hard for their money, expects us to PAY for. To me, Napster showed be listed as one of the Wonders of The World...I think 9th Wonder, I lost count. If it wasn't for Napster, my CD collection would be HUGE...wait, small. Because I would have surely returned music of today BACK to the store. Yeah I know...I'm old and just like my parents, they thought the music I listened to then was something strange and out of this world. I guess I have turned into my parents then. But The Nappie bought along something great to MY generation...we didn't have to carry around cassettes or CDs any more.. (Ta Da!!} The MP3 File.

Sony wasn't too happy with this so called MP3 file business. It saw $$$ with it's Walkman type music player. Everyone including myself had one, but this MP3 file bought on a whole new type of player. A digital player that can carry your mp3 file around with and PLAY...enter Apple. Apple KICKED down the door, stormed the building like a Brazilian Death Squad with it's portable mp3 player called the..IPOD. Straight off the front, I thought paying $1 for a song was and IS crazy...still is too. But people had their ipods with a 30 GB hard drive, loaded up with 5K worth of songs..AT ONE FREAKIN' DOLLAR A SONG!! I let that bandwagon past me by..and continue to this day. Oh, I have ipods (see picture), but..what me pay for songs? Napster, Frostwire, Limewire...and now..The torrent file. Bittorent and UTorrent...you take from others who have the file, little bits at a time and depending how many are online at the time..all those who have the file. Fast easy, quick. Which brings me to...

Listen, I could go on and on about this mp3 thingy, it's long, somewhat kind of complicated. HEADPHONES...this is what burns my asshole. One company, who I was told to try last year, does put out a GREAT set of 'head cans', affordable. But you know what, they fucked up, and I blame it on the Smartphone and here is why. People use their smartphone for music, and when you're listening to music and you get a phone call, the headset you're listening thru can switch over to accept the call. That's where the problem for me begins.

Look at your headphone, the male tip. See those rings around the plug. 2 rings are for stereo, 3 rings are for stereo and answering your phone calls plugged into your smartphone. But if you have those 3 rings plugged into a REGULAR MP3 Player, it causes one side of your earpiece to not play any music. Okay enough of that.

My mission today is Walmart. Looking for a decent MP3 Player & a decent set of headphones, OVER the ear. Went to their website and have options picked out. Will let you know.

I'm NOT Gonna Do IT!!

Don't know what it is really... I mean I catch myself at times..ALL times not saying what I feel.

It's like when you are about to throw up, but I can control what I say. A simple NO will do. Touchy subject..just gonna throw it out there. ...Employment.

I've been around long enough and have worked long enough to see it all. From the Manager who KNOWS what he is doing..and but little to work with, to.. Wosah, wosah... To those who are hired in any field who sell themselves to get the job, but once hired take a whole completely different turn. It sucks when you work with people who are like that. But you're suppose to maintain a professional outlook on the whole thing.. Have the attitude of doing 'what it takes to get the job done' type attitude. Problem with that...you sometimes become the 'go to guy, person' and that isn't rewarding at all. Because...you have to DO what needs to be done and watch those who don't do..just skate along on the job. Then...at the end of the day, in the comfort of your home.. You question yourself and say...'how could you have handled that much better?'

I'm a Worker, I WORK..and I am THE BEST at what I do. Though some say, well anyone can do what I do..true...but would you enjoy doing it and all that comes with doing it. What's that, you may ask. Being on time, doing on time and being ab;e to adjust to any FUCK UPS that may and ALWAYS come along. It's called Thinking on Your Feet. I'm an expert at that. Also..having the tools to DO what's needed to be done. I'm great at being a Trainer...give me your guidelines and it WILL be done. See..I know what is needed to do my job, and without the tools and the guidance that is needed to do this job from the VERY beginning..along the line somewhere...a 'whatever attitude' will arise. I will MAKE sure that DOES NOT happen. One thing that will ALWAYS be in my Training...'If YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS AT ANYTIME, ASK ME!!' My experience is...if you don't ask questions, you're NOT interested in the job.

So, in I go today and see what Shit Storm I MAY have created. I say.. The sun always comes out after a storm...but not right away, but it does and have to.

I don't know what this means, but... I got an email from USC, the college. Said that it's been looking at my blog, this and they want me to answer some questions..a survey. One of the things they FIRST asked for was my birth date....DELETE!! Why would you need that? I smell Student Loan for some one.

Different State...different time and a WHOLE lot of shit has happened too. Not going to get into it..well, not right now but... I just want to try and put that whole madness behind me. So far things have been moving in the right direction.

STILL looking for HER..my ME..who thinks, acts just like ME. It's not an all out search. It's..eh, whatever. Ask a couple of questions, look at her reaction... If she acts like she has a stick up her ass... If she acts like she is God's gift t Mankind... I move on.

Refusing to accept BS basically. I mean...my life is my life. If she wants to be a part of it, fine. Not gonna twist your arm either.

Until next time...which I am REALLY going to try to stay up.

I'm back.