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4:29am...

I found out what her visit was for,she told me. She said that she has been talking about me to her girlfriends nfor the longest. She told them she didn't know how she let me slip away. I told her it was both of us, we didn't do anything to each other, we just didn't communicate any more.

Her visit was to see who was in my life, girlfriend or whatever. But she knew that I wasn't seeing any one other than just taking my ass to work and then home. She said she wanted to see if moving to NYC would suit her, but after a couple of days here...it's overwhelming to her. Too many people and cars, too much happening all at once and she said she got nervous. She understands why I stay at home when I get off from work.

So her only option was to see if I would move to her place...with some rules involved. See I have a problem when there are rules involved, but she told me that I would like her rules.

She will only cook for her children first, and then if there is some left over, I can have it. But most likely she will include me in all meals. I don't have to worry about her children's father's. She made it known to them that she is out if the picture. I don't have to worry about paying any rent...just as long as I stay true to her and no one else. I have use of the car anytime it's sitting in her driveway. She said there is more, but won't go into it, she has to get her thoughts together.

So with that, she packed her stuff and told me that she is heading home at 3am in the morning, this morning.

I'm not ready to start over all again in the same town I started over again in before. It wouldn't be nothing new to me, the same old grind all over again. As for a job, where she lives they don't pay all that well for what I do. I mean I can adjust like I did before but for what.

Before she left she said to please stay in touch with her every day. She said she needs contact from me. Oh..she's 27 years younger than me, but has her head together.

I don't know though. It's not about the sex this far along in my life. It's just that NYC has so much more to offer than where she lives at. New York City is waking up to again to a city that never sleeps and I need that in my life.