December 28th... 9:14pm Might As Well Get it Over With

With 3 more days or so I think left in the year 2022, I've been really thinking about what I've done, and has happened to and around me this whole year.

At first I said let me start at January. Like I can remember as far back as January. Well I do know where I was at when the New Year came it. Then I told myself no, fuck that, skip ahead some more months.

So I say...How about May 15th? On that day a certain fast food restaurant drain the Fun out of me and I folded my apron and quit. The GM as always just started at me. Which brings me to a conclusion about General Managers that are you get than me, way younger than me. I've come to the conclusion that they aren't shit. Theybare like to me little children that somehow managed to sneak past one adult, then the next one..and found an open door that was suppose to be kept shut. But being.thwt they made it this far, they think that no one see them and they try and play it off that they have more wisdom that anyone 2ho is almost 3 times their age. You just look at them, lost for words. They are strictly by the company's book because..heck the company want shit ran by the book. But the. You begin to see the fire in their 3y3e slowly cool down. Burnout...just as I seen one do.

She is young, pretty. Mother is @hite, father Black. Those eyes can look at you and then look right thru you. Her eyes show that though her body is here, her mind is elsewhere. When I left she was alright. When I came back to get something to eat she was alright. Last week I went in to get something and.. I don't know what I was looking at. I asked her, was she alright.

She told me she had a neverous breakdown and that she was hearing voices telling her to kill herself. A couple of months in a mental hospital. Sent home 2ith a prescription for Lithium and some antidepressants. She is smoking cigarettes and weed now. She is dating a guy that I know he smokes meth and the way she looks, she tried it and something snapped in her. I promised someone else and 4hen myself to keep checking up on her.

I made uo my mind about having a woman in my life. I know what I want meaning the type of woman I want. I mean the last two... First one, I took my time with her and right when there was a break thru, 2 days later she was arrested for Felony..FELONY Probation Violation. Well they don't care, meaning the courts male, female... It's like they lock you up and throw away the key. She already has a 21 years old son locked up. She has 5 children. Is is it 35 years old. Sent her a letter two weeks ago, haven't heard anything.

The second one...The streets are a motherfucker. It's not even streets down here, more country. Anyways the streets got her. Running to house to house hanging out. Leaving her clothes and and there. Talking about there are Hires Assassins with Facebook pages.. He's a cop, she's a cop..all of them are cops. I talk to her about one thing, and she goes out and tell people about something completely different. Those same people confront me, I have no issue.. She standing right there and I explain, tell them what I told her. They asked her and she says yes. So why did you tell me.. Her head is somewhere else by this time. Texts me that she was kidnapped and is tied up and is in the bathroom and they are in the other room and... Wait, wait, you're tired up, and they left you with your phone? And you're yelling at me and they can hear you? Her: I not worried all about that, can you come and get me, but don't knock on the door. It's a ded end street, flash your car headlights towards the woods, have that the back passenger door open and haul ass.'  When? Tomorrow morning at 10am. I gotta go, I have to make them dinner. Yeah...but there is something about her though that I can't figure out why I find her so damn attractive.

It didn't stop with that one. I cut one completely off because of some stupid shit. Calls me and tells me that her husband is in his way to my area and I am to meet him at the gas station. For what? He needs money so him and I can get home, the truck is almost out of gas. So why is he heading this way. Because I called someone else and they said they are in their way, but that like a 45 minute ride, and I'm waiting for them at another gas stations. She asked how much can I lend him, not her, her husband will pay me back. She just hung up 3 minutes ago and she text me where the fuck you at. I get there and she calls his phone. He hands it 5i me. Is that all you got is $20, he needs 20 more. She is up the road at another gas station gambling on those machines. I call her and she says that she don't need me, her and her husband they have money. And that I am useless.

So that's it for me. Hopefully 2023 will better, I know it will. But I'm not even going to just sit there and tell myself that I should be patient with people. Fuck that. I'd you can move as I do, I am not slowing down so you can catch up. 

December 11th 12:16am

I was just now thinking about High School. I don't know why, just popped into my head. Wait, I do know why.

I was in the supermarket shopping, listening to my music thru my headphones and I stopped to turn them up. It just so happened it was right at a spot where this DJ showed his skills. I was feeling it, so I was sort of dancing, noodling my head and moving my arms. Someone tapped me in the shoulder.

It was a woman, as I turned around. She asked what was I listening to. So I placed my headphones in her ears. First she screwed up her lips and then she started nodding her head. Took the headphones off and asked me who was the DJ. Told her hold on... Looked in my back pack for my Fire Tablet and told her. Asked me can I write it down where I got it from. I showed her the website on my tablet. She said wait a minute and took off. 

She came back with her shopping cart and a little girl. She reached into her hand bag and took out her Apple iPad and handed it to me. She said walk with her and to sign her up in the website I got the music from. All the while I'm doing this, she is asking me questions and I'm answering and asking her questions. She then says I know you were something else in High School. I told her from what I remembered, nope...had maybe 3 people I talked to in the whole school. We kept waking around, both of us shopping. Headed to the checkout, with her in front. I figured she is finished and that's that...nope. She waited and we walked out together.

I said I was calling a Lyft and she offered me a ride home, but she has to drop her groceries off and her daughter off with the next door neighbor, she is babysitting. So in her car I went, me in the front and the little girl in the back asking me all kinds of questions. One was do I have children. Got to
her home and she ask me to help her with her bags, she had about 12. Carried them into her kitchen from the back door. Her kitchen was pretty dam nice, I Loved her stove. It's like ones in restaurants. I told her this and she said she is a Chef. I went over to the stove and opened the bottom and looked inside. Clean. She said she would be right back, took her little girl next door. Just left me standing there.

She came back and said let's get your stuff home. Told her where I lived and she asked was it close to someplace and I said I don't know. But I told her it's right across the street from the hotel and she knew where to go. She said about High School, why such little friends. I was not interested in HS, it bored me and that is why I dropped out and went in The Army. She asked where was I from and I told her and she go really excited. Told her the school inwent to was for artist. By this time I was home and inthanked her fir the ride. She said hold on..gave me her name and email and cell and home number. Then she asked can she see my place. I said okay and handed her a bag to carry.

As soon as she walked in she looked into the bathroom and shreeked. A claw footed bathtub. She said I have to let her come and take a bath sometimes. I joked and said you can take one now, but I don't have anything scented nor do I have candles. She said hurry and put the food away and that sheknows of a place to get all of that. So off we go in her car again. This time she wanted to know about me, my personal life. Girlfriends, kids .. No and No. We get to the store which is and was in walking distance, but she took her car. I told her I didn't have any money and she said she is getting stuff for her to use in MY bathtub and not to worry about it. 

Left the store and I wanted to know how can she just meet me, take me to her home, and then to mines and now wants to take a bath in my bathtub. She corrected me, said she wants to soak and talk with me. She said that if I feel uncomfortable with doing so, to let her know, I didn't so there.

I cleaned out the tub which was already clean. She ran the water and went into the one room I have...and stripped down. I sat there and looked. She left onn her black boyshorts and waled to the bathroom and got in, then called me in. She soaked for about and hour, all the while I sat there on the floor talking to her.

Stood up and I handed her a towel which she wrapped herself and and left the bathroom. I stayed to clean it up a little. When I waled into the room, she was in my bed...so I joined her.

There were other pictures, but she sid that she doesn't want those to be published. Have to respect her wishes. I was hopping that this wasn't a one time thing, turns out it isn't. She wants to come over today, Sunday and cook a dinner for the two of us.

It's Not The Bathroom and More, It's The Frig

People base how a person is living in the condition of their bathrooms. I don't, I base it in how your refrigerator looks.

No, it doesn't have to be stocked with food. It has to be clean. I'm sorry, I can not eat at your house if I get a glance and see your frig dirty. I mean think about it. If it's dirty that means the food is dirty.

Another thing is why after you finished cooking you leave the food sitting out for hours. Okay, a Cook down period is warranted, but leaving it out for hours is just asking for trouble. And get mad when I ask or say you should put the food away because it's becoming unusable to eat theinger you sit it out.

Along the lines of that some people just can't cook. It's just me but I like my food cooked, not half way cooked either. I know how I like my food textures to be also and if you can't get to those textures, the first meal I will eat out of a commitment. From there in our, no way am I eating your cooking every again.

And no, I'm not being picky. I just want what is going into my body to be cooked well and to my liking. I understand that you cooked the way you were brought up, but that isn't my way of eating.

You Know How You Can Sometimes Picture...

I remember when I first saw her. I looked her over from head to to toe. She's a full bodied woman, but she isn't slow or lazy. I wasn't staring at her, just glanced every now and then, thought nothing of it.

Out of nowhere she reached out to me. At first, I couldn't...didn't know why. So I said fuck it, I'm just going to be me. If I'm wrong, so what, I'll be wrong.

Funny thing is, I was t wrong. Then again I can't seem to know what she wants or why shebteached out. I invited her over and she says no. I don't know if.. I told her it's good you're saying no. Because if I have you one time, I'm going to keep in wanting you. Of course she wanted to know why, so I told her. I want to experience what uts like making Love to you, and one time will not be enough. 

If course she is a single parent and works. I told her I will be patient and wait. She tells me I'll wait a long time. I don't care, but you saying that...means it will happen. So I'll wait. She told me I'm crazy.

I Know, It's Just That I Get Caught Up in Shit.

Yeah, it's dates for the 22nd and I just oublished it today. Just that...it's so much of nothing that I get caught up into.

Well, since my hard drives age crashed on me and I lost allnthwt work.. Someone came to me with internal hard drives from desktops and I'm making those work. So I had to remember from memory what all I had finished and was working on and it.. 

And it just keep coming to memory. As it came to memory I wrote it down as much as I could remember and then I worked in it. Then something 3kse would pop into my head a nd I would write it down, then work on that. So on and so on and..

I think I have 3/4's I'd 2hwt I can remember worked on and finished. I'm taking my time for that other quarantine come to memory, I know it will. 

November 22nd 10:32pm

I don't know what it is or why it's like this. But I find it very stressful hanging out with anyone my age. I tried, and I always end up in my head screaming running away 

I met this very attractive woman while shopping for food about 2 weeks ago. I was just taking my time. I made it a thing that that day I was going to walk every isle in this Walmart. 45 minutes into my littlenfeild trip I turn the corner and there she was, leaning over her shopping cart reading a label.

Her shopping cart was in the middle. I came up behind her and said.."Beep beep, who got the keys to the jeep, varoooom. Who be who be, it me and Timothy." ...and she just started laughing, and sang 'I can't  stand the rain..against my window." I told her, there you go, as now you will have the song stuck in your head for the next 24 to 36 hours. We browsed the shelves talking. Talked about music from back in the day. She's single, no children, 59 years old. Exchanged numbers. 15 minutes she texted me and asked was I still in the store. Told her I'm doing the whole store, walking every isle. She came back in and walked around with me.

She gave me a ride home, sat in front of my place and talked. I asked her did she want to come inside and hang out, listen to music. She said she will be back, had to take her stuff home and put away. She did come back, with baggy sweat pants in and a sweat shirt. I met her out front and walked her in.  She like the room and said, okay, there it is, the bed. I mean it's one bigd square high ceiling room and you can't mi#s the bed.

Noticed my art supplies and asked was I a good artist. No, I'm into graphics, I don't know what I'm going to draw unt it pops in my head.nShe oicked up my digital camera and I almost lost my shit.

On the camera are about 30 or so pictures of a woman completely naked in differnt positions in my apartment. The sun comes in thru the tall windows, window shades in nice patterns. And I ask this young woman could I take pictures of her in certain poses. Converting the nipples, and vaginal exposures. One thing though, I took the pictures about a month ago and I still haven't looked at them yet. I'm working on something else right now , so I didn't want to crossover ideas just yet.

Well, she took her time looking at them. I told her I haven't viewed them yet. She said they are some great shots, you let the sunlight pattern play with her body, and that I really got close up and personal with the model. I told her it was her skin, the textures and very light hair, almost blonde that made me get real close for certain pictures. I knew she was going to ask me... No I didn't sleep with her

November 18th

I have a lot to say...Ben thru a lot in the past weeks... So, well you'll see.

About 5 months ago I was in a dating app and saw a profile picture of this one woman. I had taken a break from what I was doing, but I left the webpage as it was so I could get back to it. Long story short.. electricity, fuse blown, everything turned off. Restarted everything, laptop acting funny. Did a sys restore and somehow everything, my history got wiped. Looked for her again..and again..and again. Her profile didn't pop up. 5 months later it did. Not only hers but another woman who we were in touch with each other.

I'll call her 5 months woman, well she answers me back..after I told her I was searching for her profile from the first time I saw it. Told her that I completely understand you're not on here looking for anything, but I also told her it's a dating website. What I texted her in the app was 6 huge paragraphs...I went with what I was feeling. She answers back, I was shocked. She said I was wrong, but mostly true. So now..I sent her another text in the app to reach out to me. Haven't heard anything yet.

So the other woman, I saw her profile and saw her updated contact info. She left a message about something or the other. So I emailed and she responded back in less than 5 minutes with her cell number. I call and she said yeah, she wanted to reach out too after I clicked on her but she said she was afraid. She told me she lives 45 minutes away and that if I wanted to come over I can meet her at a McDonald's. Me with no car, I asked can she come to me and I will meet her in front of the police station. 90 minutes later she shows up and says she can't believe she did something like this. We talked, sat in her car and she asked how far away do I live from where we were sitting in her car at. Ibsaid it took me 7 minutes to walk here. She went for the door and told me to drive.

She called 3 people agter coming inside and asked to see something, mail with my name and address in it. Took pictures of my mail, ID card and me and texted emailed it to her three friends. I told her that that was smart. Talked some more ordered Chinese Food, watched TV..it's 1:37am. Asked can she use the bathroom, but before she closed the door she said, I guess I'm sleeping over.

She left at 10am the next morning and told me that she has been on many dates before but nothing like this one. She said how come men are t as smart or think along the lines as you do. Like I suggested the police station, and she said that that made her feel Super comfortable. Conversation made her feel even more so. Inasked when did you decide you wanted to sleep over. She said when I ordered Chinese Food, she told me I made her feel Special.

We both agreed that we don't know when we will see each other again. She isn't busy at all, it's just it was something that she needed and I just happened to have all the fixings to make the pot. Wow!!

November 4th Part A

People, friends ask me what do I do all day. I tell them whatever I feel like doing. And sometimes I do nothing at all.

Today I went food shopping. I spent about $90 on just food. What I purchased can last me 3 and a half weeks. It's all frozen and it fits in my freezer nicely. With what I still had in there, I could go a month with out buying any food. But it usually doesn't last that long. Friends come over and they ask is there anything to eat. I tell them wash their hands and look in the freezer.

Earlier this week one of my female friends stopped by and she had her girlfriend with her. My friend said stop looking her, she has a boyfriend. But I was talking to both of them. On Wednesday my friend's friend text me and told me that she was at my back door could she come in. I let her in and asked how she get my number. I knew how she did. She said all she wanted to do was come and hang out with me. Nothing else. She stayed for about 3 hours, fell asleep too. Woke her up and she asked can she stop by anytime I said yeah, no problems.

My friend called me and started yelling at me saying I was full on of shit and that I told you she had a boyfriend and all kinds of stupid shit. I asked her what did she tell you. That woman told her that we slept together. I told her we didn't she came, fell asleep and left when I woke her up. She asked me why did she lie and said that you did sleep with her. I told her you have to ask that.

It's not about having sex all the time. Because if I do, what else is there to look forward to. A guy friend told me that I have a lot of people over. It's company. I like alone, but I'm not lonely. But you just can't walk up to the house I live in and get inside. You have to have a key. Or, you have to call me to get inside.

I will be glad when it starts getting a little colder too. Not too many people outside or want to go outside. I know I won't be going out as much.

November 4th

I've notice something... If I want to know something, anything... I ask. I'm not a pig and I do know how to ask too.

I'm coming from the store and a car drives by. I look and it's a woman driving it. As I get half way down the block, same car comes, it's a one way street. I slow down, car slows down. Same woman. She says one thing.."Hi, how are you doing?" And that's all she said. Nothing else...and she is silent. It's a one way street and there are two cars behind her and they can't pass. I tell her to circle back the way she came, and when she sees me to pull over. 

I get there before she does. Where she pulls iver to is right in front of where I live. I tell her my name, she tells me hers, Casey. I ask so what's going on. She's nervous as all hell, so I start talking and..just start talking. She good looking, healthy in the face and from what I could see, a nice shape, figure.

Ive must have said the right things, because she said it's hot in her car and she gets out. Yep, sweet looking body. If a woman circles past you one time and comes back only means one thing. She is interested in you. She's married, husband is out of town, no children, nice day and she say me. I tell her I live right there, pointing to the house, and ask her does she want to come inside. I tell her I'm perfectly safe. I give her my ID and tell her to lock it inside her car somewhere that I don't know where and I turn my back. She says okay, and asked me how much is the rent. 

Walking to my house I tell her I was at the shelter and I also tell her my last name and then I say, no me and him are not related. We walk inside the house and go to my apartments. She likes it and looks at all the stuff I have on the counters. I'm sitting on the bed and her in the sofa..she asked did I have a girlfriend, no I tell her. I ask her why? Is it because you want to have sex with me? She said well yes..but not just yet.  We talk some more and then she goes to the bathroom.

My phone rings and it's a friend if mines asking what I'm doing. I tell him I have company and I will call you when my company leaves. She comes out of the bathroom in just her panties, and sits on the bed.

I did not have sex with her. But she was left satisfied. Gave me her number. I walked to the car with her and she asked me why I didn't have sex with her. I told her I am a gentleman, and maybe next time if you call, we will. Gets in her car and drives off.

See, I wasn't looking forward to having sex with her. I don't know her but she knows what she wants and wanted to do. It was that I just happened to be passing by and I caught her eye. It could have been anyone who caught her eye.

Like I Said..Just Say & Night

She must be a Vampire..

So far as I know of her, she goes by 3 different names.Stands about 5'6" thin, but not thin thin.i texted her and asked about if she is bringing the hard drive.

She texted back, yeah I'm up be there in a few minutes. Texted her again.. Listen if you can, be here before 7pm. She called.

I'm almost there. I could hear the bullshit in her voice. I Told her she is still in bed. Bring the hard drive over. 3 hours later she calls and tells me to come to the door.

Hip hugging skin tight black cloth pants on. She has on a hoodie and the shirt she is wearing bares all of her stomach. She stop when she got to the sofa, and I came up behind and said damn, looked down at her ass. I slide my finger around the waist of her pants  and ask was she wearing panties she told me no All I could say was FUCK.

I told her to make herself comfortable. She went to the corner of my bed and sat down. Fellas if you have a studio apartment with just a sofa and your bed, that's all that there is for sitting. And the woman sits on your bed... Y'all are fucking at some point and time. You know it and she for sure knows it because she sat down on your bed. But don't make a move on her. Slow cook her. 

So she had brought the hard drive over, and I told her I would give her #20 when she did. And I did. Ahe went back to her 'Spot' on the bed, went in her pocketbook and pulled out a meth pipe and a small zip lock bag with a decent amount of meth in it. Yeah, she wants to fuck, but first she wanted to get high while I checked the hard drive out to see if it's working. Turned out the hard drive was dead and stinking.i told her that I was going to run some more rest on it to make sure. She knew she wasn't fucking tonight. She also knew I wasn't going to ask for my money back either. She got herself together and told me she would be back later on. She didn't show up later. 

The next day I called her, no answer. 4 hours later she called me, voice all sleepy, I could hear her stretching. She wanted to know if it's okay for her to come over. I started to ask her what happened to not showing up like you said you would later on. But I knew what her answer would be if there was one. Also, she is 'out there'. If you know anything about the Street Street Life, you know what I mean. In case you don't...and if your version of it is like 15, 20 years ago...Let me update you.

** Street Street Life is when you have a place to call home, and it's your parent(s) place. They understand that you're going to do what you're going to do..but they want you to have a place to come back to no matter what. Your parents don't want you to feel that you can't never come back home, back to them because you think you fucked up beyond repairing anything. Your parents do this because they know at some time you want to come home and you think that you fucked up and they won't let you in.

So,  she didn't look dirt, smelled clean, but was a bit worn torn when I met her. But when she showed up around 5pm, a little after effects you could still see, but she understood everything that I them told her. I asked her did she want something to eat, said yes. We talked..she talk and I asked her questions. It was late and she looked sleepy. Told her to take a shower and I gave her something to sleep in. She got in the bed, and I stayed up working on some things, art work. I went to bed around 4:30 am.

I climbed over her because she slept closer to the end of the bed..when I climb over, she turn over on her back. I knew she wasn't sleeping, and I told her left up as I pulled down the bottom I gave her.

Phone keeps ringing part 1 soon, I hope. Brb.

How You..

How you gonna get mad at me cause you live 25 minutes away and are married.

I agreed to be your Side Piece fir the simple reason you said you can deal with it. I told you I will not be sticking my penis inside of you at no time during whatever you want to call it.  I told you, what I can and will do to you for your pleasure will just as good as me being inside of you with my penis. I also informed you the reason why I will not have penis sex with you was... 1. If I do, I'm am going to want you all the time, and I want what I want. Being that way defeats the purpose of being YOUR Side Piece. 2. You'll go crazy if I am inside of you after..2, 3 times. You'll lose what little left you have of your mind now. You agreed. You agreed so much that you got mad. You saw, felt and experience me and now you know what I am capable of doing with and to you. Crazy kicked in in week number 2 with only 3 encounters with me.

Not my fat you live so damn far away. I told you, you have to plan this all out. You can't depend on anyone to bring you to me, depend on yourself and public transportation. But what fucked me all up... YOU were less than a 7 minute walk from me and where I live. You get all the way back home and you tell me. 'I was right down the hill, I knew I should have came over'. All I did was agre with you..and the you decide to go the fuck off in me. I listened, and you said some shit that wasn't even for me because you called me a woman's name. So now I want full disclosure and the only way to get that...is with you naked in my bed, bringing you right to that point and backing the duck down..and questioning you. Oh you're going to answer and be mad as fuck I doing so 

See one thing that you're getting a fucking twisted is...that you think I need you. I don't. I want you, I enjoy how I can make you orgasm all over the damn place, leaving you exhausted and sleepy. L let you sleep for about 20 or so minutes...and then I'm right back between your legs while you sleeping. You aren't even fully awake and you're orgasming, pushing my heqd away and then grabbing it towards as you try to hold that shit in. Nope, not having it and I told you so. Let all of that shit out.

So you're coming by here so you say today. And I told you if you're not here by a certain time, I will not let you in unless she says okay.

This is What I Hoped to Have Learned to Do 11 Months Fron Now. ()PRO DJ DOES EPIC TECH HOUSE MIX ON RARE $250 DJ GEAR

10/22..1:05am

Yesterday was a great day. Most of them are, but yesterday was a special one. What happened? Not a damn thing. it just felt Special.

It started off with some woman direct message me in Messenger, with a simple Hi. I said hello back. Her neck words were..'Can you hold on for a minute, I'll be back in like 10 minutes.' Hold on? This is Messenger, there is no holding time. But she came back in half an hour. What flowed next tripped me out.

With her I'm back, I started questioning her. How did you get my name, why you pick me and what do you want. Her being bored at work, she decided to log in on FB under a fake name but a couple of real pictures. I checked out her page and it was 'Born' today. So right off I thought she was a guy. She read my mind, I'm not a guy if you're thinking that and I know you know how to prove I'm not. I didn't even bother because.. well, I just didn't want to.

So I asked her now what? She said just chat. She told me what she does, her age what her goals are. I asked her where she was from. She said Charles Town. That name sounds fimilar...the. I remembered. A woman in a social dating site she was from that town. So I told her her name. She said she's Blacks right? I said yes. She said hold on. 10 minutes later she posts a picture of the woman and ask this her. Yeah. Then she post another picture of the woman with her standing besides her smiling. She says I know her, we are friends.

How..how, what's going on here. Did she tell you about me? No, she hasn't spoken to her in 3 days. I asked again how did she come about my page and she said I she was going thru pages on FB, came to mines and decided to contact me. She asked my age and I told her. Asked any kids, I told her no. She then gave me her number and told me to text her. I did.

She asked could she come and visit me, see me in person. That she is only 2 hours away and would like to see me. So I gave her the address of a place down the block and when she gets here, text me back. Forgot all about her and then I got a text, 'Im here's. I go outside and walk down the block, she saw me coming and asked Michael? Wow!! Not because she looks great, because she actually drove two hours from West Virginia, left work and drive to see me. I told her this walking back to my place. 

She comes in, and takes her shoes off and asked to use the bathroom. She comes out and says..'I don't want to scare you or anything, but I have a carry permit. I said let me see your handgun. Takes it out her purse, disarms it and hands it to me. I like a good handgun. It's a good gun too, a 380, almost the same one I want and I am getting. Ha ded it back to her, she arms it, safety in and back in her purse. Then she asked me no what.

I don't know.. So I say the first thing that comes to mind.. 'Well you can strip down to your panties only and just relax and talk or whatever until you want to leave. She said okay. I'm waiting for some guys to burst thru the door and kill me, but no she strips down, jumps in my bed, bounces a couple of times and gets under the blanket. Ingo about what I was doing before she text me, practice DJing. So shes in the bed under the covers asking me all types of questions, and having a good time. The someone knocked on my door. No one knocks on my door. They call and I let them in.

It was one of my female friends, a neighbor was going out and he remembers her and held the door for her. I tell my friend I have company. She said it's okay, walks in and see her in the bed, under the covers. She sticks her head out and says hi, I just met Michael today and I drove all the way from West Virginia, are you his girlfriend. My friend say no. But ask her why did you drive all the way here? Just to meet him? She said yeah and we both know the same woman in my town, who never mentioned him, but she is my best friend and I didn't know where Michael lived at, but something told me to come and see him. My friend said to me, I'll talk to you later, you guys have fun.

I'm laughing. And the she asked, did that mean what she said for us to have fun having sex? No! She said I want to, but I just met you. Maybe tomorrow. I said you spending the night? No, I have to do 4 hours of work tomorrow, and I'll be back Saturday around 1pm. She got up, went to the bathroom and got dress, came out and asked can she take a bath. She never took a bath in a claw footed bathtub. Sure, why not.

She was in there for about an hour soaking, talking to me thru the open door and sometimes calling me in. It was crazy. But then she said she has to get back before she starts getting sleepy, but she is coming back on Saturday and could she spend the night. Sure, okay.

Walked her to her car, hugged me, and kiss me on the cheek and told me I was a gentleman. Then she said something...

She said... Isn't the world just great. You can talk to someine 2 hours away that you have never met and then want to see that person in person and you can. See you tomorrow, started the car and drove off. I stood there..just stood there and wondered what the fuck just happened. I texted my female friend she was at the gas stations near buy. She ask who was that and I told her. She couldn't believe it. She drove two hours to see you? I said yeah, and it was all started in a text chat.

I told her she is coming back tomorrow and my friend wants to be here. I asked for what, and she I just want to. I have a feeling why too, and I'm not going to speak on it. I just told her okay come by before she gets here. I can't wait until tomorrow.

It's true, there are people out there who are dying to meet you, can't wait to meet you and all they need is no reason to come and meet you. Yesterday was a great day, that is why I amsti up at this hour..1;41am.

October 11th

A couple of things... 

What is this 'Vibe' bullshit. What the fuck is that suppose to mean? Her: 'Yeah, we can meet up to see if we vibe.' Me: So what you're say really is. We can meet for me to see if you're handsome enough, have money and can afford me, right?' 

Hold on a minute, so you got balls now? But I get where you're coming from. See the only thing you think you have going for you are looks. Your face, that can change at any moment. True, you do have a phatt azz and all, but how long is that going to last?

I'm seeing more and more of that.. 'I wish men would going back to being gentlemen again.. Like opening car doors and holding doors open for women again.' I'm gonna say it because it needs to be said. For those women who state this, you are asking for too less of what you want me to do. In fact..it's bullshit. You want men to do this for one simple reason. It's that time of year again, the last quarter and...the holidays are fast approaching. So you get a large number of men sniffing your ass,what betting te for you to act coy, let him get a glimpse of you in panties and...BAM, either money or a Pre Christmas present..also expecting and expect a Christmas present ON Christmas Day too. ...while for the last 30 days you haven't did anything to warrant you even getting a good morning.

Which brings to mind that meme...men telling you up front what they want from the get go. Listen... A little secret. I've been that way since I've started jerking off. I have no issue.. 'Hi, my name is Michael, you wanna rub bellies together?'  You will be surprised if how many women do take me up on that offer 

Some of these women out here have four kids and act like they are t fucking period.  Some of these women will state straight from the get go that they are t a Booty Call. What? You think you're too good for a Booty Call? Don't you want to get away from the madness of all those kids you're taking alone of by yourself?  But face it, you're in no mood or state of mind for a relationship anyways and you need to let off some steam..hence, The Booty Call.

I'm not hating on how you make up your mind about your doing your everyday life but.. But all the things you're staying are so basic. That attitude you have isn't because of me, it's because the way you choosed to start and live your life. Fuck I want to come to your house where it's complete madness, kids don't listen, kids father might show up anytime. Drop the Rug Rats at your mother's house for a couple of hours, it did you burn that bridge with being able to do that.

Oh... A your men who make women the Highest gift to God there is... TURN IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MAN CARD YOU PIECE IF SHIT!! She sti isn't going to give you any rthym for the simple fact the way you're acting. All she will do is take your credit card shopping, leaving you at home with her kids you dumb fucks. I don't give a fuck how much money you make, you still don't make enough to take care of yourself and her Starting 5. She will call you as her own personal ATM. Funny shit about it, you have no problem being so. She will walk right past you with another man and ignore you, but call you later telling you it was her cousin and he was going thru some shit.

Decisions Decisions

I have a...I think a 2TB external hard drive attached to my PS4

Do I delete some games that I have stored in there, keep the data part, use the ex drive for my laptop and then later on this month, purchase a 5TB ex drive.

And.. Should I ask a friend for a hookup. Since he works or he's retired from Tech. I'm sure he has a ex drive 2 to 4 TB laying around and he could mail it to me?

JHS Walter J Damrosch 136.. Bronx, NY

That is the name of the Junior High School I attended and graduated from in 1975. It was about a 10, 16 minute walk from where I lived. I thought my 4th Grade teacher, a Black woman Mrs. Walker made a huge influence on me.. She was the first, but Mr. Flounoy, my 7th, 8th and 9th grade teacher...HE made it stick.

That's him on the left side and that me, lower right hand side. Group of people pictured was the yearbook committee.

This post is about my Junior High School classmates.

Jose Perez, he started it all. When I came home from the Army to Parkchester in The Bronx back in December 1982, I had a friend who I grew up with, was living in Parkchester. That following Summer we were in The West playing basketball. After my side lost, I went from the courts to the benches to just sit and relax. People walking by and one of them was Jose Perez. I was shocked just as much as he was. We talked for a while, and he went about his business. 

Throught the years from 1983, I never seen any of my classmates. Out while 7th grade class went to the 8th and then the 9th all together. I can't remember how many were in the class, but we were back then sort of like a family. My first girlfriend, Carolyn W.. And she was also the first girl to break up with me. Many years ago, back in 2001, I was living in Westchester County, My Vernon. I had to catch the number 2 train to get to work. One day, I had a newspaper and it fell on the floor of the train. As I bend  down to pick it up, and person reach down also. I looked at her and she asked was my name Michael Chappell. I said yes. She asked did I remember her, and that I was her first boyfriend. She was beautiful and all I said was Carolyn? She was about to cry and she said yes and all I could say was wow. We talked during the ride downtown, she went her way and I went miles with exchanging numbers with her. Then a couple of days later the World Trade Towers fell. I remembered her telling me she worked in one of them. My heart broke. I searched for her on all ksut I could come across of those who lost their lives. I didn't see her name on any of them. About 3 years later. I searched Facebook and found her alive and well in Atlanta. I was so damn happy. 

Today..Jose Perez had set up a Zoom meeting with all the people who could find. There were only about 6 or 7 of us in the meeting. Only one person I didn't remember, but she remembers me. Brought up things that I didn't remember but ine main thing she remembered is what High School I went to when we graduated. She said when our teacher announced that I was accepted in Art and Design High School, I was sort of a Star. I took an art test to get into the school, along with some of my pictures I drew. I didn't think I would make it into the school compared to some of the art work I seen on the walls and in showcases in the school. But those who judged my art work and my drawing during the test saw something I didn't. Though I dropped out in my 11th year towards the end of the school year.. I took the GED test while stationed in Germany and my school gave me a diploma with their name on it. So, I am a graduate of Art and Design High School.

With just a little of us in this Zoom meeting, I had to log out. I had a female guest over. I didn't tell anyone in the meeting, I just disconnected. I'll explain to Jose later on today.

About 2 hours before the meeting Jose had called me. We talked for about 45 minutes. I really enjoyed the talk. If felt great talking to a classmate for such a long time ago. It felt great actually talking to some one whom I spent 3 years in educational studies with. I don't know how to explain it... It was like I was talking to another me. The thought process of Jose reminded me of me. But one thing happened he said, and it brought me to the present.

He said another classmate he =aches out to about 10nyewrs ago. They went out to dinner thebfloowing day. During dinner they caught up with what each has been thru and what they were going thru or sent day. The next day Jose called him and the guy didn't pick up. He tried a whole week and left messages but the guy never called back. Jose said said you know what, that's on him, I'm not reaching out no more, forget about him. I let Jose talk, which seemed like to me he was angry and he held all that in for 10 years. I cut him off while he was talking and said.. Don't you think that he might have been going thru something. Something like during your dinner talk, secretly he was comparing himself to you. With what you accomplished all those years, probably made him feel like shit, because maybe he didn't accomplished anything. Jose was quite for a couple of seconds and told me that I was right. Here he thought that it was him that did something wrong, which it was in a way.. it made the other guy feel less than.

I told Jose, I don't have that problem at all. I don't compare myself to anyone else. I don't hate anyone who is far away off living a lifestyle better than mines..has a car because I do t have, it make it have made more money than I have. Jose said that his pension is 120K a year, all I can say is wow. I told him how much I get off of early Social Wvriitu withdrawal and he asked, well how do you pay rent. I told him I have a Section 8 Voucher that's for Veterans and my rent is under 200 a month, no electric bill. I'm also on SNAP and I get a food box twice a month from a shelter..the one I was in for 11 months ago until I go this apartment. I told him I was never broke, I just didn't have any money sometimes, but I always had a job.im what you called the working Poor. I told him if I had applied myself like some of our classmates have done, il probably would have been making a 6 figure salary also but... But then I would have got to see The Pirayminds like I did as a surprise. Or went to France damn near wvery weekend for 2 months like I was going to a club from The Bronx to Manhattan... Or went to Amsterdam like whenever I wanted when I didn't have to have Guard Duty over the weekend. Or.. Saw The Berlin Wall, Russian Soldiers..enjoyed London in 1978. Think about that. I was in London for a weekend which was 4 days for me back in 19 fucking seventy eight. Oh, not your tourist part of London, but The South Bronx of London. Actually talk with and to Black People that were born in London. Their accents. Accents that maybe all of my classmates never acty even heard in person JUST on TV only. I was standing in London talking to a Black.person that was born there and has a British accent. Un fucking believable. BUT.. But if I had went to college..and not have dropped out of High School...would I have had a chance to experience all that I have mentioned? I don't think so, my future would probably have went in another direction. I enjoyed the direction I went in as a HIGHSCHOOL DROPOUT!! I SAW THE WORLD. I WENT AROUND RHE WORLD AT LEAST 4 TIMES... and don't pay a penny. Imagine that shit.

I have more to say, but it's 5:11am and I have some things to do. 

To be continued. (Don't know when either, so there.

I've Gotta Say...

Anyone under the age of 37 is a youngster to me. There I've say it. Oh I have my reasons for saying so too.

When those if 37 years of age and younger come to me for some advice..and it's rare, I give it to them. My advice is what I would do, but you aren't me so take your chances by following my advice. But if I really, REALLY know something, if I really know the works and the making of whatever you ask me about, I would take the advice I gave you. Run with it, go for it. But no..you have to learn by your mistakes. It's not like you've been around the block as many times I have in my 60 plus years. 

So this one young lady is a certified Nut Case. Yeah, but she has a beautiful face and a body you wouldn't believe. I have had the pleasure of making Love to her once..with no happy ending. Reason being, I know me. I would want her always and all the time. So why I do/did was make it all about her pleasure. Did everything she would want me to do...other than actual sticking myself inside of her. 

The last time, about 8, 9 days ago..oh boy!! I'm not bragging but she was begging for me to be inside of her. I told her no, and I also told her the reason. I laughed to myself when she said..:You don't have to put it all the way in, just half way and let me grind on it, please?' Still I told her no. I asked her how come after she orgasms once time, you stop. Have you every had multiple orgasms? She said no. I asked with her permission can I, and she said yes. Dive dive DIVE!!

I've should have stopped at the first one. Most diffenitly the second one. But when her thighs started shaking, quivering building up to that third one... I came up...I lightly touched her and... I saw her whole body just, just... I've never seen anything like that. I had to tell her, yell at her to breath. For about 5 minutes..these sounds that came out of her.. I held her, cradles her in my arms, and I could feel her body spasms. She started crying, curled up in a ball. I let her lay there for about 10 minutes saying nothing. She woke up about an hour later while I was watching TV. Took her time standing and went to the bathroom and took a shower. Came out, towel wrapped around her and said.. 'Damn that was JUST your mouth, right? I've never in my life ever felt anything like that before, WOW!! That shit felt so damn good, and I didn't want you to stop either but it was like I had no control over what I was feeling. It just kept getting better and better. You can do that to me every time? All the time, when ever I want you to?' I told her yes. And if you think that was something, imagine what it will feel like with me inside of you. She told me to stop talking because she was getting wetter by the minute by me talking and by her just thinking of it.

That was when she asked me for some advice. I told her what to do, but she being hard headed most likely did it her way and.. And that's the reason why she is in jail for I don't know how long.

But she told one of her female friends about me and what I did to her over the phone and had her friend come and tell me where she was at. Her friend is just as pretty and she told me that she told her what I did with and to her. Her friend ask me can I do 'it' to her right now. Told her no, how would you like it if the shoe was on the other foot. She got mad and said that she said when she gets out, she is coming straight to my house for the next 2, 3 days before she goes home to her mother and her kids.

Damn shame though. Because if she would have listen to what I told her to do... She would be laying in my bed right now sleeping off another orgasmic cloud of bliss.

I'm Just Trying To..

...nothing really. Wait, I am, sort of. I'm gonna explain it any ways so hold on 

At first I wanted to do an Only Fans Page, but that didn't work out the way I wanted it to. I think it's because I didn't expand my view of 'things'. I see that now, and it's still in the back of my head...sometimes comes if front and I have to kick it in the ass. So since I now know what my days and nights might be really like, I said well, let me learn something different.

That different was podcasting. I gathered up all the software I needed. I knew what materials I would also need, gathered those also. But what I didn't expect to happen was an external hard drive failure. I mean every damn thing I needed is on that external drive. Sometimes it get seen by my laptop and sometimes it don't. It's going in 6 days now if not being seen. I could have fixed the problem but.. I grabbed my tv by one hand and at the same time a jolt of pain went thru my left foot at the same time which caused me to squeeze my tv which damaged a corner of it. I call it Pixel Burn Out. That meant ordering another 24 inch TV. And then a close friend if mines asked me to get her. Roku Stick because now when has Internet. Couldn't say no. That meant the external drive would have to be purchased sometime in the next 2 ton3 weeks. That's when the hard drive went out. With that on hold..

I moved on to learn something else. DJing. I have a small controller, comes with a lite version of a well know DJing software. I took it another step further. I downloaded the full version. Then there were other 'packs' I would also need, downloaded those also. The. I thought, do I know what I'm doing? Duh, no. So that meant downloading the manuals. Gotta have music right? So I downloaded some more music. There is always something else I need, but I'm quick to jump on it though. Like right now... It's analyzing 70 tracks I placed into the software.

October 5th

Okay I got distracted, and distracted is a gentle word. I got fucked over and out. So my 5TB external hard drive decided to just say FUCK IT! Everything that I was working on is ON that external drive so everything as of right now is at a complete STOP! It lights up, at times. But laptop isn't seeing it. I think it's the cord, don't know for sure though. I don't want to waste $10..+ shipping and handling to find out that it is or it isn't. Fuck my world. I guess on to something else.

Dreams

Was having this dream that I was falling off the bed and into the floor. Tried calling out.. Tried moving my legs, but I couldn't. Some how the dream went into repeat, and this time I was able to move my right arm to wave. I guess that was the answer because I woke up and realized that the reason I couldn't move my legs was because the left leg with the cast on it was in top of my right leg. I couldn't lift my right leg because of the cast.

I think something else was going on though. I slept with a lamp on covered with a dish cloth because the light was too bright to fall back asleep.

MAN!!

So, I installed this program on my laptop so I could give it a good cleaning out. Oh I did that alrighty. 

Found out that the program didn't do what I wanted it to do, so I uninstalled it... But the program folder .exe remained in my desktop. Tried everything to deleted it, but no go. Asked Google for help and tried everything, still there. Tried this one way and...

All of a sudden all of the OTHER folders started disappearing. Abort ABORT!! About 5 to 6 folders gone. Did a reboot and then laptop ran into major, and I mean MAJOR ISSUES. Had to do a system restore. Glad I set a Restore point earlier. Lost those fders though. Trying now to recover them with another program, but I think they are gone for good. FUUUUUUUCK!!

2153

What does the number 2153 mean? Okay, what does... When you see or hear the number 2153, what does it mean to you. I'll let you thing about it for a moment and get back at it, to you.

#NowPlaying... 'Summer Madness (Extended Version), Kool & The Gang

It's been a while since I've last heard from this person. I do know what's going to happen though. 'At The End', they will pop right up, still stuck on the same bullshit they were in before they decided. To now out. It's just that I catch them on the tail end, which isn't fair to them. I know because the eyes don't lie.

I called a friend if mines and asked him to do me a favor. But before I could ask him, I had said what's up and are you heading out anywhere some time soon. He said he was going to another town, death in the family, and he asked why. I told him could she get me a pack of smokes and I'll hit him off when he gets here. He said he was leaving in a few minutes...that was 4 hours ago. I'm not going to call him. 

Reason why I'm not calling him back. Another friend if mines texted me out of nowhere and asked did I have any cigarettes. I told her no. She said do t worry I got you. 19 minutes later, she texted when I get 5 minutes away I'll text you. Bigger than shit, she text me. Dropped off 3 packs of cigarettes. This woman lives 29 miles away from me and she doesn have a car. She likes me, she Loves me. But I don't...it's not that I don't have the time for a relationship. I don't want to make the time for a relationship. Like her home, mines is always open to her and she knows that.

Okay, 2153...what does it mean to you? For me... For me it means for almost 10 days I've been stuck on board 2153 of Candy Crush Saga.

September 15 2022 9:28am

I'm going to try something different today. (Yeah right). No, seriously I am.

In the past year I've been telling myself that I have to be constant with...well, almost every damn thing. But this, I have to stick to. I mean I have no other plans that I know of in the morning, so...

Morning, most mornings will be deticated to...to whatever and I will leave it at that.

Now that feels better. Should I start now? I gotta get in the shower. I don't take showers every day now because I have this cast on my leg. I'm going with every 2 to 3 days now. But I strip down and wash up at the sink though.

I'm out of cigarettes too. I could hobble to the store which is about 2 and a half blocks away... But coming back is up hill.

I text a friend last night and asked her if she was coming to town, could she stop and get me some.

Oh good, she read it last night. So I'll wait and see. I'll give her a text right after this and before I get in the shower.

Let me get in there now, while I still have the energy.

It6 Just Crazy.

This woman who I met when I first arrived in the state of Virginia.. The very first Black woman I laid eyes on.. Yeah I admit it, I fell in Love with her almost a year later. But I'm not stupid.

Her life before I met her must have been Hell. Couldn't have been that much because one of the fathers of her children talks with her with respect and kindness. Yeah, he still feels the same way as I do for her now. But just like him, you have to break away because...you have to. Because you know with the Power she holds over you. There's no telling what you might do or where I will end up.

Saw her last night as I hopped to empty the garbage. Her eyes lit up and I said hey, and she replied hey also. Guess she saw in my eyes too, and said I'll be back. She is t coming back. We both knew that.

'Now...Don't You Be Getting Into Cars With Strangers.'

Yesterday I went to see my Doctor..Doctor, can't you see I'm burning burning. About my leg, the left leg...in a cast up to my knee. Filled out paperwork, saw him for a hot 10, 15 minutes and I was out of there.

I sat in the waiting area and called my Lyft Ride, it was set up for a roundtrip. But I knew as soon as I touch the app, some funky shit was going to happen. When a Car Ride app says 'Searching for Driver...' Fuck!! It didn't say 'Searching for YOUR driver.' it said it was looking for some lazy fucker who needed to make some extra cash, some him/she along withnoroba my hundreds of others all sign up and joined in. Then they thought about it...all at the same time too. What they thought is..'Hey, damn near everyone in this town and surrounding area have cars, I mean who would be calling a Lyft if everyone has cars?' True that but did ALL of you decided at the same time Not drive people around for money? No? But it sure feels like it cause I can't get a ride back home.

After two times the app just stop saying searching and just went to the home screen. Was about to look again and my phone vibrates. Normally I just it the screen button, but something told me to answer, it was Lyft. He told me that there aren't any drivers available, so he is going to call Uber and a car will be there shortly. In my head 'shirtly' has a different meaning because it depends on where you're at on this planet. Shortly in The Bronx is like ordering Chinese Food..5 minutes. Here.. My cellphone vibrated with a message telling me what my Uber car looks like, color and plate number...and 25 minutes for it to arrive. Fuck this I'm going outside.

I go thru the door and step outside. It's hotter than hot. No trees,meant no shade right in front of the building but.. To the left is a tree, shade, but it's about the length of 15 cars away. I'm on crutches and I hop my way towards the tree. I get there and I light up a cigarette. I'm tired so I sit in the ground, open my bag and take out my Beats and Kindle and... And right there sitting on the ground I'm jamming and dancing sitting in the ground. Happier than a fuck too.

This beat up truck pulls up behind me. I didn't hear it or saw it. I smelt it. Turned around and this woman had blonde hair and the prettiest set of white teeth I've ever seen. She gets hot..has in shorts and a t shirt. Asked me if I needed a ride. I thought about it..yes. I'm going into Staunton.

Told her my address and she she singing along to something and turns the volume down. Tells me she never did it with a Black guy before and wondered what it feels like. From out of nowhere she says this and I just thought to myself...did I look in the back seat before I got in. 29 years old, no children, live by herself, father left he a shitload of money, her words. And most days all she does is just drive around if she is r in the house getting her friends drunk and high.

Got home, got her number and I gave her mines. Today she came over with some KFC and about 7 large containers of coke slaw. She lives their Cole aw and so do I. She wants to come and hang  out with me Saturday, Told her I got a cast on my leg and she said so what. I'm not letting her in, then again...if she brings food.

MAN!!

I knew I should've left it alone but... I had to put 2 P's in. Damnit!!

Wow!!

First...

Okay, I have only told 2 people about what happened to my leg. Yeah, I lied. Fuck, everyone lies. I lied for a very good reason and reasonable.

Foremost, I lied to family and friends. I lied to them because I don't want them worried about me. To tell them the truth would expose them to too much about me and my life and life style. Am I ashamed of it, no I am not. It's just that there are certain things, issues, bullshit..call it what you want.. Certain things they need not know about period. Do I care what they think and how they might judge me? Duh?! Fuck right I do, and I think that's one of my main concerns and only concerns when it come to family.

Okay I lied to friends..sort of. Correction, I told 3 people. 2 makes and 1 female. One of them, I don't expect him to do anything because the fucker threaten me TWICE. The other male, and I will tell you more about him... He isn't from here, but lives here no and he is a Veteran. I respect him because he is 'My Brother in Arms'. I respect him because he is one of many and of few 'who gave their lives that that nation may live'. (Gettysburg Address). So I told him and he was trying to figure out just who this person is, I think he did, but he won't let me know. It's how SOME of US DO.

The female I told. She lies and starts shit everywhere. And when I say everywhere.. I mean in 2, 3 other towns. But she knows who is who and what is what about anything and everyone. I also respect her and her ways, know how she is, and will correct her on shit she tries to put out there in the street about me. I told her what really happened and in her eyes I saw 'things' being formed. But out of her mouth..she was..'oh, okay', and that was it. Again, I saw what was in her eyes, I'll leave it at that.

Tomorrow will be a week since all this shit with me happened. And so far today.. Let's just say I am aware of everything that's happening. What I don't understand is why did his girl called me twice in Monday morning, midday or whatever. It's stores in my phone that she called too. Leaving it there. Then something else went down 2 days ago.

Another friend that I know reached out to me thru text. Told me where he is staying at, I know the address and I know the people that live there..and I KNOW he was told what happened. What is fucking me up and I'm not THAT fucked up about it.. Why hasn't he ask where do I live, I want to come and talk to you about this. But then again I THINK I know why too. It's all about self preservation. I can understand that also. Today, I hope he reaches out to me, probably will. Have to see.

Hot a lot of things to do today. Haven't been doing them because I had someone, a woman who says she wants to help take care of me. Hell, she can barely walk her damn self, she walks with a cane. She stayed over 4 nights and I told her a lie that I was doing this or that, because I needed alone time to take care of some business all across the board. She wants to come back on Wednesday, I'll see.

I have a project I'm working on and haven't since Monday. Gonna try and do catch up today NOW.

You Put Your Left Foot In, You Put Your...

So I turned a round quickly and stiff armed her with two arms and she went backwards and tried to turn at the same time...which cause her to fall flat on her face. The guy with the cane started swinging at me, I run up the stairs and the guy with the bike gets off of it and he comes at me but stops because I go back down the stairs and shorten the distance from the guy with the cane. As I was doing so..

I miss stepped and my foot turned to the left and I went down hard. He is still swinging at me with the cane, I get up and I go right back down in pain. I caught a glimpse of my foot..leg is straight, but my foot is turn almost all the way to the left and the bone hasn't broken the skin, but it might any second.

On my ass, I scoot to the middle of the street and he  come at me with the cane and pulls out a knife telling me I hit his wife? Tells her to come over and take a swing at me and she does. She walks away because when she hit the ground her face shattered. All the while this guy is telling me he should stab me for hitting his wife, but I didn't..but he won't because he doesn't want to go to jail. After about 5 minutes they all leave. I call the ambulance and the take me to the ER..

Dislocated ankle, and a fractured leg... Something going on with me knee, but it's too swollen to tell. Dr. tells me I'm going to need 3 operations. He sets my leg statugjt after he knocks me out. I took a Uber home and I have not been outside the house since Monday morning at 7:07am.

It gets even better, taking a break.

Edit: I thought I published this two days ago, WTF?!!

'Go Ahead Kid... Go Out There and Break a Leg.

On Sunday night... No, it was early Monday morning and 1:30am. I was sitting outside the house of the house where I have an apaetment, smoking a cigarette when a friend came walking along.

No, that wasn't it. It was around 8pm Sunday night and I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette when she came walking along. I thought she was either in jail, cause she is in probation and the last time I saw her she ask me about clean urine. Also, I thought about the 2nd week of August she had to be out of the place where she lived. I asked her where is she going and she said she was trying to go and 'get some money's, which means begging for it. I hit her high one time before and she got hot and horny and I told her no and she had to leave.  She told me she will be back they here and she still had my number, but her number changed. Have it to me and then left. Now.. Now around 1:30am she shows up and she called me first told me to come outside.

I went and all she had was $6, so I took that and gave her $30, she told me it might take her half and hour to 45 minutes to get back.. Right then, I should have taken my money back. She said she will be right back and said over and over, I am not running Off with your money..she did, sort of.

Call me and told me to come outside. When I went out, it was about 3:15am. I saw 2 black males, one on a bike. She came up to me and handed me something that.. It was worth $30, not even $5. And the shit went kind of blank on me.

I asked her for my money, she said something to the guy on the bike and he handed me which I counted later was $8. The other Black guy, he wasn't in sight but her boyfriend came limping down the hill with his cane. I asked her where is the rest of my money, and she said something, so I turned around and went up the stairs to my house. Out of the corner of my eyes she was coming up behind me. I turned around and..

Mountain Bike Part 2

The tracking alert means that my bike is less than a mile away. I called the bike shop and then the bullshit started.

The guy who is suppose to put 5his bike together quit. Just up and quit. I asked for the next best guy. He says other than the money he is being paid by the shop, he things I should pay him on the side...$400. I told him and I quote:' Fuck NO'.The store manager said I'd anything he will do it. Okay.

The bike came in 3 large and heat long flat boxes. It's not a drop off and leave like UPS or FedEx, no. I checklist is for each box and me and the driver both have to expect each price before signing off on it. 45 fucking minutes. So each box is open and the boxes are numbered. I asked for duxt tape some I can tape up the 2 other boxes and..in walks the guy who is supposed to put it together in the first place. Tells me 5hatbhe thought it over and he was wrong. He's here to dona job, let's do it.

It took 3 and a half weeks to put this bike together. Then he added the other upgraded parts which took another 3 days. The bike was together. 

It's cold outside by this time, and I'm still living in a shelter. I don't want to leave it chained outside, and I'm not leaving it in the basement if the shelter because someone might come along and think it's a donation and I'll be fucking pissed. So $25 every two weeks until I come and pick it up. When I wrote the first part of this, I went to pick up my bike. It wasn't in the shop when I got there. I asked where is my bike. I was told I have to speak to the manager. He came in 2 hours later. Told me that my bike was stolen out of the shop back in March. But the bike was chained to a concrete pole in the basement, and I had the only key. I was told that they just noticed it was gone 7 days ago, no one called me.i was...okay.

I got my money back plus 30% within 9 days.I don't have a bike, but I have all my money back and then some. It would be stupid of me if I did t have insurance on an item values at and over $5,000.  I wish I could have rode it when it was all out together, but it was nasty outside and I said I'll wait. Doesn't matter now because....

3:08am Pt 2

Some things came up, I'll get to that later.

Well, they both told me that they don't care what it is they have to do, as long as its self promoting involved, both are with it.

I talked with him for an additional 4 hours, and I took notes. I rewrote everything. And placed all in order. I even wrote out what each of them would be untitled to. I also thru in, you don't put in the work, you don't get paid.

One thing I made very clear about too. I am a man. I don't represent all men, but know this... You are a woman, women, ladies...girls. You have no idea what a man likes, you think you do, but you don't. Just like woke , men take in every inch of you with in and under 20 seconds. We, me as a man, I know what I like in woman.i told them you have to prepared to work your ass off and stay focused.

To be honest, I don't know in my 'Present Condition' now if I want the problems.

The Right Kind & Size Mountain Bike

Last year around right when it started getting chilly, I went online and searched within a 50 miles radis for a decent Mountain Bike.

Most Bike Shops didn't have websites so I knew what I wanted, and when I called I asked to speak to the most experienced person in the shop. After 4 calls, I found my Bike Shop.

I spoke with a guy who he said he was the most experienced all around. Knows his bikes and parts. He said he doesn't follow the circuit, meaning he does keep knowledge of races and riders, he likes what he likes and said he can just about ride just anything and get a good workout. I told him he is going to be my go to man and I will email him what I wanted. He said sure.and gave me his personal email. I had already typed up the email and saved it as a draft. I went to the exit door, he looked at me, I had already was in my email app... I hit send and walked out the door. I waited in the parking lot. He comes running out the door.

He tells me...'The Mountain Bike you want has to be ordered, then it has to ship, then WHEN it does and IF it does get here, it has to be out together. THEN I have to take it apart again and add what you want replaced. I don't even know how much all of that is going to cost and where I'm going to get those parts you want added to it from.' I stopped him and took out my cellphone, went to the other drafted email and sent that to him. He then says all shitty..'All that work..you have to pay for shipping, labor, the parts  and me putting it all together again.' Sent him the third email, and asked him can we go inside and talk to The Manager.

He brings me to the manager. I tell the manager I know how much all of that is going to cost down to getting it here in The United States and to your store. I can pay that right now, and with giving the store $150 for getting it shipped here. What I need to know is how much is it going to cost me to have it assembled. He told $300. So I added $450 plus what the bike and the parts I wanted together and...

It comes to $4,371.89..i want to pay it now. The Manager looks at me. He said come to the counter. He goes in the computer and he takes the guys cellphone with him standing there and starts typing away. After 15 minutes, he asked cash or charge? I say debit.and hand him my card, a card I have never used before. He swipes it and says damn. I asked what? He says nothing.  I tell him to hold on, I'm calling that company now. I was calling one of the workers in his cellphone it was a different time zone. I told him I just gave the money to the manager. He tells me to write this all down and gives me a set of numbers, an address and another set of numbers. He asks for the ema address of the bike shop, I give it to him and he says...'Okay, thank you and goodbye.' 

I tell the manager that he is going to get an email and it's in English and he has to follow the directions carefully and right now. He opened the email, see the email that was sent to him. Gets black book from under the counter... An hour later he says done. But he asked when wi it arrive. I told him when the bike is within 200 miles of being delivered I will get an email with a real time tracking code. I will text it to you and you will know when it's like a me away and then it won't be tracked any more. He says okay and I leave.

The Mountains Bike take about 45 days to be out together. I don't know why, but it does. So I wait.

And then I get that email with the tracking..

Get Your Kicks on Route 66

I'll get back to that after this. Sometimes things work out for themselves if you don't panick and you keep a level head. I told myself I'm not going to worry about it, if it happens it happens... If it doesn't, oh well, next time. There isn't going to be a next time so...

While I was in the shelter, I met this 27 year old White dude. DUDE!! This guy could freestyle rap his ass off and I would sit there and listen like I was t listening. One more he asked me to listen to some of his stuff because word was going around I'm from The Bronx. He took out his cell phone and... His flow was 'Stooopid' and his lyrics were... I stopped him twice and told him to rewind and go over that again. I listen to 4 if his... I call them 'Spits'. But what had me all fucked up was his beats. Asked where did he download them from and how much he paid for them. He said he installed an app and made them all up himself. WTF!

I knew that was his best shit, no one shows you their best stuff, they let you hear what they consider their weak shit. I gave him my email address. I then told him give me 2 of his Greatest and put them in Demo form. To me Demo form is what you send out in an email if you're in the go and you want someone to listen to your stuff. Most of the time, people have their cellphones hooked up with all kinds of gadgets to make music on their cells sound good thru the earbuds or headphones they walk around with. He sent it to me and I listen on my phone with some Jabra Elite 3's.  This was his best shit and it sounded Studio Quality. 

Then he has a nervous breakdown 2 weeks later. Was out in the streets after a stay in a mental hospital. Then he all of a sudden was himself. And rhats when someone told me he was looking for me and if they saw me, give him his number. I called. His Aunt has to go to Hempstead, NY for a precedure. The next day, she has to have surgery. One day recovery and then back to Virginia. I asked what days? And believe it or not... But wait, he told his Aunt that he knows someone from the New York City. She doesn't fly, so she wants someone to drive her there and back..she will rent the car, give the person $25 a day spending money, pay for the food and...and get a hotel room for them. I told him I'll do it. 

So early today he introduced me to his Aunt. WOW!! She looked me up and down and smiled and said, so you're going to drive Miss Daisy huh? I said yes, what are the days because I have a JHS First time ever Reunion and I showed her the flyer that was on Facebook. She looked me dead in the eyes and said.. 'Well, on that day I'm suppose to be back here in Virginia...but if you take me as your date and let me sleep in the room I'm getting for you.. I'll guess I can make it a little exciting and you be a part of something special. We exchanged numbers. I get back home and she calls me.

She is whispering on the phone saying she can't believe I'm 62 years old and that I look good for my age and she can't wait for that day to come.. I said that you and she said can I ask you something? Yes.. Can I come over to your place later on tonight and sit and talk with you some. Get a bottle of wine, watch movies, stuff like that. Yes. 

So I'm waiting for her to come around 11pm. If she brings wine, she isn't going to drink and drive. 

3:08am

I'm up this late/early in the morning cancelling subscription that I don't even need or watch anymore. Being on a fixed income you have to do what you have to do.

I went food shopping the other day, but not at a supermarket though. People talked shit about me shopping in Dollar Tree, Family Dollar and Diary General. Like I care or even give a fuck. Those stores have what I need and they are close..except for Dollar Tree. Gotta take a bus to that one. As I'm walking to one of the two stores, I pass another small clothing store and the woman inside saw me as I passed and called out 'Hey Michael, can you help me with something?'

I stopped because she called me by name and I don't know her from anywhere. About 2 inches shorter than me, bright shiny eyes, beautiful smile and...a nice, very nice figure. As she walked in front of me leading me to the back of the store, she said she couldn't reach  something. I asked her where she knows me from and she said where you use to work. Oh, okay. I was stationed close to the drive thru window so everyone would and could see me.

As I was reaching up to grab a big heavy box, she asked where was I working now. Told her I haven't worked since May 15th. Was I looking for work, no not really. Then she said something that started it all off. Plan on going into business for yourself? Something different? Something exciting when you are somewhat in control? And me being me said... 'Yeah, I had an idea but the person I wanted to started it with had other visions in her head ' She said what, Only Fans? And I said..'Yeo, do you know a young lady who is willing to give it a shot, can following directions and have what she wants to do in mind?' She said.. 'I know two women, give me your Facebook, your email and your telephone number and I'll talk to them.' And so it began.

First I got an email with two women pictures. Then I got another email with a shirt Bio on the two of them. Then I got a text message telling me not to answer my phone, they want to leave a voice message. They did leave one each and they both asked when can they start. I already had a letter sort of what I want to do, and how I want to go about doing it, sent to both of them. Next email was..'We want to come over, what's your address.' And in 15 minutes they were both at my house.

Explained to them again what I want and how I'm want to go about doing it. They listened. When I finished I asked were there any questions? And there were. And I was honest and to the point..mostly I was surprised about what I was told.

TBC.

Battlefield 2042 Part Duex.

Okay, now where was I? Oh yeah, Battlefield 2042. Yeah I purchased the game and to me at first it seems complicated as fuck. 

I'm use to sort of kind of playing Campaigns, just me up against the game. Oh they shoot back at me, and they..meaning the game are pretty good at it too. But I started getting better and better because at first I was just dying all the fucking time. I played Battlefiemd 3 and I finished it. Okay, what I call finish. The credits roll and to me that means I completed the Campaign YEAH!! So I started on Battlefield 4. I'm still on Battlefield 4 haven't played it in a when because... I'm at the part where I have to plant a mine on a tank that is driving around and always ses to find me. The machine guns in the torrent, well they find me. Shoot and kill me while I'm in bushes, hiding behind cars, walls AND inside a fucking building in the 2nd floor...MOTHERFUCKER!! I'm about to get back into it again, soon. But Battlefield 2042 is a whole different world and this what lead me to write this post.

I'm gonna call Battlefield 2042, B42. Okay, B42 is Multiplayer. That means I connect thru my PS4 to a server where thousands of other B42 players are waiting to get into an into the servers to play. B42 has many different 'maps' many different types of playing. You can play solo, dueces, with 3 people and even 4 people teams. But where I'm at is like a Battle Royale. 64 other real people who we are all in the same team trying to defeat the other team who are the game, not real people. 

The shit is very fucking complicated to me. Do t believe me? Go to YouTube and put in the search Battlefield 2042. Hold up let me see if I can put on in here.

https://youtu.be/WomAGoEh-Ss

That link above, click on it. What you'll see is basically a small, small, small sample of the one part of many parts to the game. Shit blowing up, shit falling down in you...motherfuckers who you can't see are fucking Snipers pick your dusty ass off from hundreds of feet away. Oh, you can do the same. I got a Sniper rule in my load out, his in a mountain in the bushes and picked of the fuckers like shooting fish in a barrel. I have to forwarn you though, graphics are intense. All I can say is the blood splatter is truly amazing...even from a distance.

So this channel I follow on YouTube talks bad about B42. From what I read, the game to advanced players suck, shit isn't working right. So this guy he talks and about the game and talks about what can or he thinks should be improved. To me, the game is kicking my ass and if it's broke..it's doing a damn good job at whipping my ass BROKE. So I made some suggestive comments on YouTube. One of about 5 that the enemy should be A.I. Artificial Intelligence. So far 3 people told me in general I was fucking nuts and that THAT will never happen. Hmmm?

See, these guys who commented are probably so fucking good at B42 that they can whip my ass with one foot. So my A.I. suggestion probably pissed them off. On the game there are 64 real players fighting against the enemy who are the game. A.I. would mean another whole different ballgame. These guys are running and gunning all over the place, but have an enemy out there that is THINKING, well you have to really know your shit. I also suggested some other things, and those too pissed them off. All they are these guys when commenting back what I commented on are a bit of online bullies, thugs behind a keyboard and needs with attitudes. Fuck em.

There, finished. Now I'm going to go play me some Fortnite. Oh, I downloaded Fornite for Dummies'. Yeah, it's out there in the net. I read it. And now I'm like dying or being killed like the 8th on from being the winner out of 100. Not bad compared to I was dying like 30 seconds after I landed. So imagine if I can find a 'Battlefield 2042 for Dummies'. I will be unstoppable.

Battlefield 2042

If you don't know what Battlefield 2042, ask anyone who plays video games and are really good at playing video games. They will tell you that Battlefield 2042 sucks. But what they won't tell you is that they have NEVER played the game, not know anyone who has played the game. Reason why they will tell you it sucks is because hardcore Gamers played all the previous Battlefields and this one, this new one that came out  months ago.. Gamers say it sucks. I beg to differ and I'm gonna tell you why. But first...

I purchased an Xbox 360 when I was living in Chat, NC. I got it second hand at GameStop. My very first game was Watch Dogs, paid $60 for it. Go ahead and ask me how much I liked the game. I didn't. I wanted a gaming console and I wanted the latest game that was out and all the TALK was about the game Watch Dogs. I didn't know anything about playing video games and I went all in Balls Deep too.i think I popped it in the 360 maybe twice. I had no clue of what the fuck I was doing. A I did know I kept getting killed. I moved on and up to Halo. Do t remember what or which one but this type of game, Shooters..this type I got into. I was into fps, First Person Shooter and Campaigns that when I went to sleep and I dreamed... My dreams, in my dreams I was moving about like the characters in the video game. All in all, I amassed 35 video games...and then I purchased an Xbox One. Can't even remember, and I swear where I purchased it at. So now I had to consoles. I sd the Xbox 360 and 35 titles for..TWO GALLONS OF ICE CREAM. Yep, and I started by more games and got a subscription to Gameplay also. Move to Pittsburgh and the first thing I do was sold my Xbox and about 10 video games. I did t have internet access, so I said fuck you, begone.

So now here it is 2022. I purchased a PlayStation 4, PS4 off a guy who was going away to like a Job Corp type program while I was in the shelter. I think I gave him under $100 for it and about 6 video games. Right now I have about 15 more game titles, did away with the subscription based GameFly because now what they wanted for 2 titles a month, you only get one title game. You keep it as long as you want and you pay monthly for it. Oh but wait, what about XBox, hmmm?

So now you can play Xbox on your laptop if it's robust enough, if not..you can play it in The Cloud. So for $14.99 a month, you can download games from Xbox online and play them in your laptop, but you have to have a big enough hard drive. No worries, you can always buy an external hard drive. I did, got 5 terabytes for $99. That's a bargain and people were telling me I didn't pay that much for it, I paid more. Pulled up BestBuy, click..click and click. There are, $99 in The Bronx on Fordham Road. I shit them the fuck up. But I have a PS4 you may say or are wondering. For under $60 for a YEAR, PlayStation has the same thing, and it's called Playstation Plus. A big yellow Plus sign.  Xbox, I had Ultimate Game Pass for $14.99 a month. And Playstation Plus about $60 a year. Cancelled my subscription to Ultimate Game Pass. Then Playstation changed, they went into a 2 tier thingy. My PlayStation Plus, I subscribed to the next level up on it to get included for free a video game called Stray. About a cat. Google it, check out the game play on YouTube. Which brings me to Battlefield 2042.

Hard core games were complaining how the Devs, The Developers of the game didn't know what they were doing, a lot of glitches in the game, respawns, coming back to life within the game wasn't working right, where were all their guns and shit. A lot of other crazy shit that made me feel that I wasn't even worthing of buying the game with my own damn money, but I did anyways. To me it was okay, though I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. On YouTube I subscribed to a feed where as this guy must have an acorn up his ass, talking about what needs to be fix, where is this and where is that. Come on!! The Devs put the came together the way THEY want it to be played. They didn't want to be like 'Call of Duty'...where all it is is the same old game, with the same old shit in it. Call of Duty is the shit though. Many titles...MANY titles and Add Ons too. I THOUGHT I finished Call of Duty Ghost. Hell no! Upon further inspection, I only finished 17% of the game, WTF!!?

I'm going to continue this in another post.

'It's One, Two Three Strikes You're Out at The Old Ball Game.'

At 3:50am this morning my 'friend' CALLS me and asked me what I am doing. You know how I answered right? I told her I WAS sleeping, but what's up? I already know what's up.10 minutes later, she text, 'open the door'.

I let her in. She is in the same clothes I seen her in yesterday morning. First thing I offer her is a shower. She says okay. Not okay and start stripping down..okay she sits on the sofa, take her shoe off and starts picking at her sock. I jump back in bed for about 3 minutes then I get up and turn on my electric pot to boil some water for coffee. She asked me how come I don't get back in bed, I tell her because you are company, so I'm up. ...then she starts stripping right in front of me.

I wash her back, her hair. Dry her off as she gets out of the shower. She walks back to the sofa..looks at it and then gets in my bed. I'm making my cup of coffee and she is laid out in the bed, but I pay her no attention. She tells me she came by because she starts her first day at work at this hotel not to far away. So, she has 4 hours of nothing to do..but drive me crazy.

She has a body most women want and will kill for. It's her ass to thigh ratio..that what drives me crazy. It's perfect. We talk and talk then she says.. 'So you're gonna let me just lay here naked with nothing to do?' So... I go down on her. This is her game.. I know how to play it and I play it well. 

She then says..'Tell.me what you want me to do, just tell me and I'll do it.' she orgasms once. She then asks, so you like going down on me, don't you want me the other way also? So I tell her to roll over..she orgasms for the second time and I roll her over on her back again. I have her legs spread wide open, close them really fast and push them up above her head. I then eat her ass, pussy, ass.. pussy and ass..she orgasms for the third time. Again she TELLS me what she wants me to do to her next.

She says please, please stick it in me now. Why won't you give me what I ask for, why am I being so mean to her. I start licking her nipple, the right one..while pinching the left one..she orgasms the fourth time..and I grab her pussy and she has another orgasm. I look at her..brace her legs up..and I stand up and put my lounging pants on and go to the bathroom. She curses me out something bad, real bad. Told me I'm ain't shit. ...that I must be gay or into men. Come out of the bathroom and told her no, I'm not but you have to go to work, get some sleep. She rolls over and falls fast asleep.

I wake up her at 8:35am, she sleeping on her stomach. I wake her up by running my finger slightly down the crack of her ass. As she is waking up, she is arching her ass up. I roll her over and go down on her again. She orgasms something Demon Like, she growling as she is cumming. Her eyes roll up to the top of her head and all I see is the white parts. I go to touch her arm and she orgasms again..and starts to curse me out. Tells me that's why I don't like coming over here. I want to more often, but you don't give me what I want. I just look at her.

On her way out the door I tell her..'The reason why I don't stick my dick in you is because I might turn on that switch that is up inside of you. That switch I will for real turn on, but I don't want to because look how your acting now. Besides, I don't want you one time, I would you three times. The first one is a no brainer. The second time I'm seeing what turns you on and gets you THERE. But that third time. It's about driving you fucking crazy...not leaving you with any energy thinking you can go out and fuck someone else... It's about giving you that memory to last your 8 hour shift, gets you wet as fuck...And as soon as you get off from work, you're heading right back here to fuck my brains out.

Oh she showed up after work too. Went home to do some things. Texted me she is spending the night and will be over at 8:30pm. And you know what? I'm not even going to touch her. It's not to tease her. It's to let her know I'm not some joke, that I'm in this for the long run. If you want it to be anything. It has to be for the long run, a relationship. Let's try that out. 

I will see in a little while what is what.