Sidekick Problems

My Sidekick has been acting up, screen doesn't display, trying to get a
new one. Really making me VERY angry, VERY ANGRY !!!
--michaelchappell

MMMMMMmmmmmmmmisc !!!

Just thought of something. Busta Rhymes, Lord Have Mercy and Tech Ni9ne
should do a colabo. For real. Especially Lord Have Mercy from Busta,
they should get 2gether for something wicked. Gonna email T-9 in a bit
and suggest it. Probably get cursed out or some shit.

I'm listening to T-9's new album, K.O.D., this shit is off the rope
chained !! I downloaded ALL of Tech 9's albums, gonna listen to all of
them over the next couple of days. Pull the wicked shit, and make a
playlist out of it.

Ok, Bush, Linkin Park, they are the only groups I know that actually do
a remix of their ablum with an actually DJ injected scratchin'. Now
that's a real remix. Gonna surf da web for other bands, goroups in the
rock area that do the same shit. Linkin Park's Reanimation is great.
Bush's Deconstructed is great also, I play the Whole album over and over
and ov.....
--michaelchappell

Music, Music, MUSIC !!!

And this muthafucker is from Kansas City......Tech
Ni9ne...Album...'Sickology', trk...'Ghetto Love'. This track got a Wesr
Coast type bounce to it. Found out about Tech Ni9ne about 5 or 6 months
ago. Some say he worships the devil. I don't think so, but his beats are
RUFF, straight head bopping shit. Baseline is ultra clean. Listen
closely and ya hear all types of stuff, as in music stuff. The lyrics
are crazy as shit.
--michaelchappell

Twitter

Some people use Twitter for all the wrong reasons. I use it to get sh*t
off my chest. Can't yell at some people, so I Twit them. Its strange
though. Who follows me. Its mostly spam bots I think. I fioloow some
people, quite a bit of people really. Some have some decent stuff to
say, others.... They waste their time. Like the up and coming 'so-caled'
model. You look good in print, but when you Twitter..... Models should
be seen and not heard is what I say, well, not all of them. Just the
young ones.

I follow this cat called Sockington. This cat has some really strange,
real cat-like shit to say. Drives me crazy, has me laughing. I know its
not a real cat, but what this person twitters, its what a cat would say
if it could.

Another young lady, lives in California, I guess. Beatuiful looking, is
having men issues. Who would have figured that. I mention before she
goes out and drinks almost every weekend, if not every night. She
regrets it all the time, this is by what she Twits. But that doesn't
stop her from going out and doing it all over again.
--michaelchappell

Don't You Hate It When.....

don't you hate it when you really want to do something, but that
something..... Well, that something doesn't leave you with enough time
to take care of other things you REALLY have to do.

I hate saying no sometimes, then there are times when I say no with no
problems at all. To me it feels like I've let that person or people
down. What comes first to me, as I feel like I'm turning into an old man
now, is that I MUST get my rest, my sleep. Especially when I close, then
turn around when I have to open in the morning. With no rest, I get
cranky, bothered and in my field that can't happen. I hope family and
friends understand this.

Before I went to sleep last night, 10:23pm, I broke down the hours of my
days. 3pm to 10pm I worked, got home went to sleep. Woke up at 5am and
have to work from 7am to 3pm. Now today that leaves me with 14 hours
before I have to wake up again. I've come to realize that Sunday to
Monday is not a good time for me to do anything but work and sleep. Any
other day of the week is okay, but those 2 days are off limits. Its that
little voice in my head talking to me.....sleep, sleep.

I'm finding that I have NO time for anything really. I'm finding that
I'm giving up rest time in order to make family happy. So when I do go
and see them, I fall sleep where I sit, and that's bad. Cause what they
tell me is that I've should have stayed home. If I had did that, I
wouldn't hear the end of it.

On Thanksgiving, I'm the only one working in the deli on that day. Good
thing is that I'm only 8 minutes from home by walking. Not so good thing
is that when I do get home, I'm gonna be way too tired to go and spend
time with family. Oh I could, but then I will feel like shit in the long
run and I don't want to feel like that. Is this what they call the Rat
Race? I guess it is.
--michaelchappell

A Thought

A feamle said that males need, show learn how to show respect to a woman
when a pprosching her for the firt time, in conversation. Here are my
thoughts on that matter.

Take a single guy, in a bar, where if not most of the women are single,
are there to have a good time. A good time. What does that envoled?
Converstaion, or just there to get drunk? It could be a little bit of
both. Who says that women don't want the same thing we want, casual
sex.

I mention this because I follow this woman on Twitter, she's from LA.
Every Sunday night or early Monday morning, she says she's never gonna
go out and drink again. Only to end up doing the same thing the next
weekend all over again. My thoughts on the matter are simple, do what
you feel and have no regrets what's so ever no matter what the out come
is. I know some may not understand my way of thinking. But I say this.
It it hurts no one else, and it soesnt kill you, what the fuck.

Again, we are not suppose to live forever, and that's not to say to go
out there and do some dumb shit that causes you or some one else to get
hurt, no. Have fun, live life, experience the finer and maybe the not so
finer things of life. When you wake up the next morning in your bed, and
you say to yourself I can't believe I did that shit, that too shall
pass. You can say you were lucky this time, take it down a notch the
next.

I have no regrets in what I do in my life. I try to live it to hurt no
one and mainly myself. But one thing for sure, I'm gonna do what 'I'
want to do, and when I want to do it. I place restrictions on myself all
the time. There's a little voice that guides me sometimes, we all have
that voice, its a voice of reason. But not all of us, including myself,
not all of us listen to it all the time. Take heed, LISTEN sometimes.
--michaelchappell

Schools I Went To

P.S 99

Walter J. Damrosch JHS 136

HS of Art & Design

Dutchess Community College

Techinacl Career Institutes

Monroe College

Westchester Business School

Skidmore College

Just 65 credits away from my BS. Shhhhh !! Don't tell anybody though,
its a secret
--michaelchappell

My 50th Birthday

On April 23rd, 2010, I will be 50 FUCKIN' YEARS OLD !! Oh shit, 50 years
old. That shit doesn't even sound right, sounds stupid. I don't feel
like it, I don't think like it, and I don't smell like it. Let me take a
look at what has changed with me.

One, when tha fuck or what the fuck is a mid life crisises? Am I to have
one....when?? Please tell me, cause I can't really afford to go out and
but some exotic car I don't need just because I want or need to feel
younger. Ok enough of that, don't want to even think about it. Moving on
to women. My taste of women have change drastically. I men now when I
see a young woman, and young I mean below the age of say 30, I say to
myself, does she think on the same level as me. Don't get me wrong, my
level can fall between being up, and being lower. I'm saying I like to
have fun, so a 30 year old might be too mature for me, but a 40, late 40
year old may
be thinking on my level. But you take a risk, risk is everything
nowadays.

I find myself now, wanting to be alone, not even going out that much,
but I do sometimes. I find that there are so many bhours in a day. Sleep
and work take up 3/4's of it. The rest is taking care of personal
business, which sometimes could me more sleep. Hey, I can't help it, on
my feet 8 to 9 hours a day, I get tired, customers drain me. But like I
said, I don't like going out much, and I don't have to.

All my intertainment is right at home. The internet has it all. From
newspapers to music, movies, different countries, it has it all. Once I
wrote that last sentence, I know it sounded strange, but its true. If
all my family got computers, which they do, get internet access, which
they do and install a web cam, they would and could see more of me. But
that would be too 29th centry for some. I do miss them and want to see
them, but its the travel time to get to them. I think the 50's are the
onslaught of the lonely years. The years one takes self inventory to see
how far they have come in life. You start thinking about getting really
old.

Oh, I have thought of that too. I have told people, just take me out
behind the old barn and put a bullet in me, put me down. I'm not the one
to take medication now, and would hate it if I had to take it as I get
older in order to live longer. Medication is expensive now, shit, 15
years from now... I don't even want to think about it. Its sad that the
elderly are spending the money, seeing doctors, taking medications in
order to squeeze out those last 5, 6 years of life. I was told that I
would have a different look on things once I get that age, I don't think
so. My senor years I want to be in warmth, from hence the warmth I've
came, therefore I return.

I always wanted to go to Tahiti. Just recently I've named the area, Bora
Bora. Haven't read up on it or anything, but those last few years of my
life, that's where I will spend them. I believ, and I truley do, I
believe I will be working in my early 70's. About the age of 75, its to
Tahiti, the land of warmth, that means NO SNOW people. Florida, naw,
that's not for me. Some place where I could and can still what I love to
do, cook, and work on computers.

Which brings me to this. I'm in the proccess of setting up a nice little
entertainment, media center, PC and MAC based. The only thing that
holding me back is find a sattilte service provider that allows
unlimited access. Most of them charge by the gigabite, you're only
allowed so much during a 30 day period. You go over, you pay out the
ass, like 25 cents per megabite. Fuck that shit, I want unlimited. You
would think with as far as technology has come so far, you would figure
some company, mainly a Japanese company would come along with it. But
no, my service provider, which I pay 34.95 a month ony says my downlaod
speed is 8megabites a second, that shit sucks big time donkey..... when
I go up North to visit, Westchester County, I pick up wireless
connection that's faster than what I get now, but I don't live up there.
I'm sure in the years to come, things will get better.

In closing, I'm looking forward to my senoir years. I'm only missing
growing old and grey with someone, but I do have a friend whom I've know
for going on 11 years. We were a couple, but now we are best friends.
Its nothing like having a REAL best friend. They are nothing like a
childhood best friend though. Adulthood best friends are the best, hard
to explain, it just is.
--michaelchappell

Holidays are Among Us

I don't get depress during the holidays, well I don't think its
depr3ession. I just don't like being around family during the holidays.
I say an article, ad in the newspaper with symtons for this type of
shit. It says that I should be on some type of medication or something.
What tha fuck does that mean. Who doesn't like being around a bunch of
people acting crazy drinking, fighting getting into arguemnets over
bullshit for nothing. Traveling there and back when its cold. Not really
wasting my time, but I could be r3esting myself for the up coming week
and stuff.

Not to say that I'm off on holidays too. Like Thanksgiving. The store is
open from 7am to 4pm, my regular hours are from 7am to 3pm. I could take
the day off, and get paid 4 hours for the day, or, work ang get time and
a half PLUS 4 more hours. I have to work the next day anyway frm 7am to
2pm. I don't plan on eating any turkey either on that day. The beginning
of Thanksgiving week, Monday, I'm cooking 2 turkeys with all the
trimmings, so its not like I'm gonna really miss some turkey either. It
the family wants to see me and shit. I have to admit, I'm not the type
of person who LOVES family get togethers. I think because of my past,
and I do have one, my past haunts me. My past bothers no one else but me
as far as I can see. Its really me. I think my brothers and sisters are
looking at me in a strange way. I know that they aren't, that's what I
tell myself, but it does me no good. I made a promise to myself that
next year, on my 50th birthday, that will change.
--michaelchappell

A Perfect World

In a perfect world...we are all born as adults, no childhood, straight
to adulthood. Being that its not so, we have to endure childhood with
all the problems and shit, its part of 'growing up'. Why I say this, its
because of this, bear with me here.

Because we are born as infants and advance to the stages of adulthood,
there are a lot of things we grow to know, main things are employment,
then marraige and a family. In a perfect world, we are born as adults,
then straight to employment and then maybe marriage. Employment. See, if
we are employed and don't have to worry about raising children, there
would be less stress. That's the way I see it. As an adult, the only
person you would have to take care of is yourself, no stress. If you
only have to take care of just yourself, as an adult you would only need
the basics, food clothing and shelter, nothing else. Being that its just
you, do you really need a whole apartment or just one room? To me, just
one room that you share an apartment with 2 other people or whatever.

NY Post has an article, section of their newspaper that comes out every
Monday, @Work. Well, I wrote to them on Monday, and they answered me
back. What I asked was this. Why do people who come to a place seeking
employment and there is a position open, we tell them to fill out the
application and bring it back. But they never do. We have, had a
position open. We told people who came in, about 10 of them to bring the
application back. Only 2 people did. Both female, one with experience,
the other, has never worked a day in her life but she 18 years old. We
went with the 18 year old one. Figured we can train her to the way we
want her to work. Strange thing was that we she bought the application
back, she also bought her parants with her, and they sat, walked around
with the manager during their daughters interview. Did I miss something?
Ok, she never worked a day in her life, staright out of High School, but
bringing your parents in for the interview? Maybe its me.

Now we have to get the owner to give the ok. Its coming up on the
Holidays really fast, expect to be busy and we want her to at leats have
the knowledge of what's what. And, if she doesn't work out, we still
have time to train some one else in her place. But being that the owner
is rather busy, its going on day 2 now, and no word yet about her start
date.

A guy was suppose to start today working with me. Before he even
started, he quit. How can you quit when you never started? So, I worked
from 7am to 3pm by myself, no biggie. Store manager comes and tells me
that the young lady will be starting tomorrow, Friday, at 10am. Would
have been easier if she would have came in today and trained, but what
do I know. We will see tomorrow what the day will bring.

I follow some people on Twitter and they Twittered something
interesting. There are 39K people living in homeless shelters in NYC,
who HAVE full time jobs. Doesn't suprise me. So what, you have full time
job, doesn't mean you're making BIG bucks either. What it says to me is
that even though they are working, they can't afford housing in NYC, but
they can, believe me. Maybe not all of them, but at least some of them.
What most people living in city shelters wan their own place, not
willing to share an apartment with anyone. Also, they are looking for a
certain neighborhood, say like Brooklyn, The Bronx to live. They won't
just live anywhere. When I was in the system, I didn't care where I laid
my head, as long as I could afford it. If I didn't like it, I saved up
to get a better place I could afford. Like right now.

A friend, co worker, is buying a house. Its been completely done over
from top to bottom with new appliances and such. He wants to give me the
basement 2 bedroom apartment for a nice deal. I could pay the electric
bill for the whole house, or just pay 600 for the basement apartment.
The only issue is, its that I don't know how his habits are with
electricity. Summertime, does he has air conditioning in every room
going full blast when no ones at home. But if I take the deal with
paying electric, I could rent out the room for say 400 a month. I still
could do it if I was just paying him 600 a month for rent too. Right now
he's talking with his lawyer and mortgage company and everything. Will
keep you aware of what's what.
--michaelchappell

????

I was just thinking, I do that a lot lately...just think. Not use to
doing it as much though, don't want to confuse myself, but anyway. Was
just thinking.....

Why is it that I set myself up to do something, and I never completely
finish or do it. I have a reason why. I work with the public, so my
alone time is my time. My time to do what ever I want to do. It seems
that most of the time its I want to do nothing. I mean I bust my ass at
work like all the people do who work, and when I'm finished, I just want
to relax and unwind. That's why even the littlw things like going to
wash my clothes went from every week to every 2 weeks, then to every 3
weeks.

I'm not lazy, its just that sometimes I need to purge all the days work
from my head. Its been taking longer and longer to do.

Like right now I'm on this watching all these war time movies, color and
black and white too. Been downloading them really. Get up in the
morning, set 2 or 3 movies for download, when I come home thy are
finished. Transfer them to usb, then plug into my dvd player. Never get
to watch a whole movie cause I usually fall asleep, but you have the
idea, right. Tonight, a classic, Hamburger Hill
--michaelchappell

A Google Search

Walking home from work, it came to me. I was thinking again about my
time in Germany in The Army, shit stays with me. I wanted to see what
the Army Post I was stationed at looked like now, enter Google Earth.

Downloaded and installed it, and did a search. GE changed quite a bit
from when I first used it. Now it gives quite a bit more info and links.
My search took me to Military.com. I had registered there a while ago
too, so I logged in and found my unit. People were looking for people. I
found one guy D, Crammer, we were in the same section together, he was
the brainac back then in FDC, Fire Direction Center. I use to use his
urine for Piss Test when my name came up. So I dropped a tag to him with
my email address. Hope he gets in touch. Where would we be as humans
without computers and the internet. They kinda go hand in
hand...computers and internet..ok and humans too.
--michaelchappell

'Shorts' The Movie

Shorts, the movie stars, James Spader of Boston Legal, John Cryer of Two
and a Half Men, and William Macy of countless great films and movies he
starred in.

Its really a kids movie, but with an adult type them, bad is bad, good
is good. I downloaded it the other day, and just decided to watch it
because Clockwork Orange is WAY too strange for me to watch. Stanley
Kurbic is a strange man...really starnge. But Shorts was a good movie.
Watch it..er..download it.
--michaelchappell

Music ....Again and Again

I love listening to musuic, but I don't get enough time to lsiten to it.
I could try at night, to go to sleep to, but what I lsiten to gets me
way too hyped. That's why I listen to WABC, 770am, talk radio to go to
sleep. I also have XM Radio too, 165 or so statons I can listen to too.
Less not forget, since I have hi speed, there's internet radio.

One of the cashiers at work asked me to make her a mp3 cd, so I did. She
came back and ask me, what type of music do I listen to. It vast wide
and different is all I can say. I can tell you what I don't listen to,
R&B, well old school R&> I do, but not that much., that and this new
type of hip hop. Give me old skool stuff. Now the Bookkeeper heard that
I did one for her, no she wants one. Problem is that I can't get enough
time to lsiten to any music, mostly on my day off if I'm not sleeping.

But I will make her a cd, and have it ready for Sunday when I go back
in. I have a couple of 2 hour sets by a couple of DJ's, DJ Icemoon and
DJ Jay Skinner. Spader (Later)

--michaelchappell

To a Dear Sick friend.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going thru some troubles and are in pain.
I don't know what I can do or say to make you feel better. I
know...wanna have some sex? Just joking, but for real, try that.

See, sex, good sex, tha kind thatmake ya holla at the moon type sex,
well it releases chemicals. Ya know about that right? Some one told me
about it when I was having a bad tooth ache. I mean this shit would only
bother me at night. During the daytime, I would overdose on Advil. This
friend told me to try masterbating at night right before I go to sleep.
So, I tried it...a couple of nights in a row too. Toothache went away
all by itself. Ummmm you may ask. But if your pain is so intense,
NOTHING will help it go away.

All I can say is that I will continue to say my prayers at night for
you. The prayers I say at night are for you to go to sleep without any
pain, and to wake up in the morning with less pain so that you can at
leats start your day. It all I can do, other thn saying to you face to
face I hope you feel better. But, I'm not good with people who are in
apin face to face. I tend to get upset, no for real.

When my mother was or is in pain, I find it hard to even speak with her
on the phone. Today she called me to ask why I didn't return her call,
she caled my cell phone. I no longer carry it on me. I tried to tell her
that, but she forgets. All to say I hope you get well and fast. Why
couldn't this happen if at any time, well at least during the
summertime, winter is rough to be in pain.
--michaelchappell

Somethings I Have 2 Say Out Loud

This woman, Tequlia, I'm following her on Twitter and what not. I have
to say, she is a beautiful young woman, but... She can't make up her
mind about which sex, and who she wants to be with. Just recently, now
she wants a lesbian, she can't be bisexual. She tells about how things
will be with her thrru Twitter. Her Twits make me mad as hell too. Don't
know why, but they do I'm thinking she gonna grab some young woman, and
mess her head all up. Dump her, and then move on. Kind of like a guy
would do.

So this Officer at Ft. Hood Texas didn't die, huh? Well he is gonna wish
that he did when they get finished with him.

My job, you know I have to go there, right? Well my job, field, I
wouldn't want to work in any other field, well it gettin' to be a pain
in the ass for real. People quit, they hire new people and all of a
sudden they can't work certain days or certain hours. Fuck that shit. Ya
lucky you are getting, having a job. Of course, I could be cut loose too
at any moment, but I do what I have to do with no complaints...well not
that many. Oh well, whatareyagoonado?
--michaelchappell

ME !!!

What Your Deli Clerk Wants You To Know

What Your Deli Clerk Would Want You To Know.

We are on our feet from 6 to 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. If we look
tired, most likely we are tired.

We do NOT get a lunch break, even though we would probably fall asleep
during any break we get.

A Deli Clerk is the hardest job in the Supermarket. We are all
departments rolled into one.

If you treat us like The Help, we are gonna treat you like The Customer.
You don't want that? Be friendly towards us and we will return the
feeling.

Don't know what to eat, ask us, we HAVE TO taste evrything in the deli
EVERYDAY !!

Out side the store..we are NOT paid to be social with you, but we will
and do say hello.

Yes, we wash our hands more times a day than you think.

We wonder what happened to the days of standing and conversating with us
while we sliced your order for you.

If you approached the counter talking on your cell phone, we will wait
until your conversating is finished, then talk your order.

A ham and cheese sandwich is more complicated than you think. What type
of ham, what type of cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, etc ?

Sometimes we can't remember what we did 20 minutes ago, so how do you
expect us to remember you from 2 days ago when something went wrong with
your order?

As a deli clerk, we don't set the prices, the owner or store manager
does, see them if you think we are over charging you.

We don't understand the concept of getting you ham 'shredded', never
haved, and never will.

When you ask for paper in between your slices of cheese, you will be
charge for the weight of the paper, its not our call to charge you, but
you ask for it.

The deli is a fun place to work, so we try to have fun everyday.

We know a lot about food, more than you think, just ask us.

Even though I'm slicing your order, I 'thinking' about things I have to
do, sometimes 5 to 6 things so if we look like we are not here, we are,
but we are doing something else.

Believe it or not, we enjoy our job, its fun and we meet people
everyday.
--michaelchappell

Another Start of a Work Week

Being that I'm off on Saturdays....for now that is, I'm just getting use
to the flow of things. Its a pretty good deal. Off on friday at 2pm, and
don't have to be back to work until Sunday at 3pm. Then on Monday its
7am to 2pm. Sounds good to me.

Sundays is a busy day in the deli, people getting their cold cuts for
the school day, stocking up for the next 2 to 3 days. Last minute people
coming into the deli, not know what they want. Its a good thing that I'm
refreshed and ready to go. If I was working on Saturdays, Sundays would
be a killer. I would be ready to kill some people. People don't know
what they want when they come to the counter, its amazing, you should
see the look on their faces. For these prices, I would know what I want
when I leave the house. What's worse than that is, people coming early
in the morning.

Maybe its just me, but I can't see myself wanting...needing cold cuts
that early in the morning, like at 7am !!! These people come to the
deli, drive to the supermarket, theu traffic and what not, and then
BEGIN to AKE UP at the counter. Sometimes I feel like shouting..'WAKE DA
FUCK UP !!!'. Again, for the price of the meats here.... sometimes
you're thinking you want a half a pound, but what comes out of your
mouth is a quarter of a pound, I know, I repeat your order to you. But
its 'myfault' when I didn't get it right, I'm sorry. I really do
understand when this happens, that's why I don't get mad or anything.

A lot of people come across this counter. If you leave a good impression
on me, I will remember you no matter when you come in. 2, 3 weeks later,
I will still remember you.
--michaelchappell

Fort Hood Texas...and Other Bullshit That Happens

When I joined The Army, I needed no HS diploma or parents consent, I
just turned 17 years old 2 months prior. I learn a lot of shit in the
militray, some don't or won't understand the Life Lessons I leraned. Its
like this....

You are the protection that all you need. You know the difference
between right and wrong. You can get away with wrong for only so long,
then it catches up to you. You learn to size up people, you learn how to
approach people in certain situations. You learn how to use key words
and adhere to body language. You learn to speak your mind, have your say
and stand by your convictions. You learn to face up to the truth.
Mostly, you learn how to deal with people and life terms.

Not all can do that it seems, but those of military train and
conditioning do. When shit gets knee deep, we learn to reach out for
help. I learned to reach out for help. I also learned that for every
action, there is a reaction. You may soumd like its a cliche, it is, but
its true. Like they say, you have to learn how to fold em. This shit
that happened at Ft Hood, Texas is just the beginning of worst shit that
can come to the surface.

I'm not being paranoid or anything here. But the hume psyhe, hope I
spelled that right, well it needs to unwind. It needs to empty is
stomach or whatever the fuck it is or called. You can take only so much
shit, and then you 'throw up' on people. That's what happened it Texas.
From what I read, he was being deployed to Iraq on the 28th of this
month. It seems like he didn't want to go or something. But I think it
was deeper than that.

Being from the inner city on New York City, you learn to adapt to
certain....SHIT. Yeah, shit, that's just what it is. You also learn to
talk about shit that bothers you, don't keep it bottled inside cause its
nothing but pressure baby and it will POP !! This guy POPPED !!! His job
was to examined other people's mind, deal with their problems, give them
sound advice. But his backyard, frontyard..HOUSE was filthy as hell. Who
did he talk to about shit he was going through? Was he told to @lsoldier
up' and deal with it cause you're an Officer, most likely. He didn't,
couldn't and he snapped. You will never hearabout the warning signs that
he showed, or hear it from those that knew him well, and lsitened to
what he was saying, telling him to get the help he needed from the
agency he was working for, no you won't, well not right now you will.
Later, about a week later you will hear something. But shit like this is
happening all theough our Armed Forces, but you don't hear about it.
This couldn't be contained, it was way too large.

I know when I was in Germany, we were in the field for 3 days, my first
time. It was raining, sleeting, snowing, hailing, cloudy and cold...ALL
while the SUN WAS SHINNiNG !! I thought I wasin Hell, no for real. I
lost it for about 15 minutes, started crying asking for 'my mommie' no
one laughed at me, they understood. Young, 17 years old, first time
really away from home, they all reached out to me and told me that
everything would be alright. I learned back then to talk about what I
was feeling and going through. When I got out the service, it took me a
while to pick talking about shit, again. I thought I was the only one to
go through stuff like that. I wasn't.

This guy must have had all the problems of other soldiers on his mind.
It probably felt like a 50 ton weight. He saw no ther way out, and he
wasn't going by himself. Its wrong for any person to do what he did, but
look at where he was coming from, be there, was baout to go through.
What we see on tv, read in the newspapers and read online is nothing
like 'being there' I saw a photo article in the newspaper. It showed
some soldiers ina building. It looked like they were windind down,
tucking in for the night. What I saw was completely different. I didn't
see not one dark face, Black American. No, no, hear me out. Some photos
are photo ops for the public. There could have been hundreds of pictures
take peior to this one or even after, but this one was netrual as they
say. No weapons, noequipment, no sad faces, althoght no one was smiling
or laughing, it made you think that nothing was really going on. To me I
saw a platoon, right before a squad meeting, right before the cameras
and sound equipment was told to leave the room. Shit is real people.

I was baout 18 years old, still in Germany, and was in the field. It was
out last day before going back to base. 6 155mm M109A1's Howitzers, each
having about 30 95 and a half pound rounds left to fire. I was the
number 5 man, I was to hold the un used powder in my right hand and drop
it in the ground when the gun fired. I was just standing about 50 meters
from the back of the gun. I saw all the other guns hump their rounds to
.y gun. I was called to the gun. Was asked di I wantto be the number one
man for this fire mission, and I said hell yeah. I shouldn't have. It
was a 'Battery Extend all Ammo, Base Piece Extend all Ammo'.

The Gunner and assistant Gunner got the deflections and quadrants...me I
'humped Joes'. That's 30 times six, 118 rounds I fired. Itbwas the
middle of winter, something like 25 degrees outside, but I was sweating
like a pig, I was one with my gun. Afterwards the Forward Observers who
were charting ur rounds landing in he impact zone, they wanted to know
who was the number one man. I stepped forward. They gave a a gold nose
ring, it unscrews on top of the projectile so that you can pace the fuse
on. There was so much talk about it afterwards, that for a week I could
do no wrong. 8th Infintry Division Commander heard all about it and want
to meet me. I got a day weekend pass, and off the duty roster for 90
days. All for what I was doing, my JOB as a soldier in The Army. To me
it was 'no biggie', but for those , it was one.

All that to say is this. We do what we have to do when the time clls for
it. No matter what, you do your do, and get it done, and do it all over
again if ya have to. This Officer in Texas, his duty to his country, his
life to his country is over and done with. But don't hold it against
him, cause youdont know. Don't know what he was going through, been
through. He sw no ther way out, and he really went out like a soldier,
doing what he was trained to do, kill or be killed.
--michaelchappell

Mom's 75th Birthday Gala

See what happens when a person works in customer service/food industry?
I asked for Saturday the 12th of December off, it was approved. Its rare
that you get a Saturday off in my line and field of work, Saturdays are
the busiest day of the week. Well my brothers and sisters changed the
date to the next wekend, the 19th. Like, I went to the powers that ne
and told them of the weekend date switch, and they told me that no way I
can have that Saturday off. I not mad or anything, just a little
dissappointed. I haven't seen certain family memebers since I was 17
years old, and was looking forward to seeing them this time. Another
reason I'm not mad, cause I know what is, is what it is. Lucky and glad
to have a job with the way things are going.

My brothers, sisters and my sister inlaw are emailing back and forth
with the details about what's going on. Moms knows nothing about it. Its
turning out to be a real nice affair so far. I want to be there, and I
can, but this is what's happening. I'm working from 7am to 10pm on that
Saturday. Where this is happening at, in The Bronx, it will take me 2
and a half hours to get there, no problem but... I have to be at work on
Sunday at 7am, and work til 6pm. I can do it, but I'm gonna feel like
shit on Sunday and probably be cranky as hell with no sleep involved.

I spoke with my mother today without revealing not TOO much information.
She told me not to stress the situation. I explained to her what the
other deal is too. One guy is getting fired sometime this week or within
the next 2 weeks. Another guy is thinking about leaving because of an
email a 'supposely' a customer emailed to the owners. So he is on the
fence about staying or leaving, I say sink, or swim motherfucker. I
don't know if my brothers and sisters will understand what's going on
with me and work, see they are off on weekends. I live sometimes if not
all the time from pay period to pay period, always have and I guess I
will always will. So explaing it to them, they won't understand, so I
explained to Moms, she understands.

My sister texted me and want me to do a screen saver type thing too at
the affair. Iwill text her back, probably call her and let her know what
the deal is. Hope she understands.
--michaelchappell

Ah, Movies

I noticed something again. Since I don't got to the movies, I downlaod
them, I've been seeing a lot of movies that I've downlaod months ago,
just now coming out. There's one starting this Friday, Pirate Radio. It
was good. Another one that got raved reviews, was The Hurt Locker. Now
this was a GREAT movie.

What are they, leaked to the internet? Smuggled out by an intern, or
better yet, its all done on purpose? Makes me wonder.
--michaelchappell

Ummmmmm.....

I've noticed something over the past 3 to 4 weeks. Its nothing big, but
then again....my weight. Since I work with food 6 days a week, I don't
each much when I do. Its my time off.

I get off from work at 2pm on Friday, off on Saturdays, don't have to be
back to work until 3pm on Sunday. From 5pm on Friday, I'm constantly
eating, except for Sunday, I don't eat anything at all. I weighed myself
on Friday, I weigh 152 pounds. Sunday morning, I weigh between 157 to
162 pounds !! Wow. During this time, I'm not eating any junk food except
for maybe 2 bags of potato chips, everything else is a balance meal. But
like I said, I don't eat anything Sunday thru Friday. Well I do, its
junk food then. Stuff with a lot of sugar, mostly coffee cakes, a honey
buns.

I think the reason why for the junk food is because I need the energy
cause I'm on my feet for 7 to 9 hours a day. Even when I get home, I
have a honey bun, then I hit the sack. You would figure that with all
the junk food during the work week, I would weigh more, but no, I burn
it all off.

Just thought I would put that out there.
--michaelchappell

NYC Marathon

Ok, I knew that it was happening in the first couple of days in Nov.,
but I didn't know it was the 1st of Nov., Sunday, TODAY !!! Got off the
Metro North train at Grand Central and ATTEMPTED to walk to the F train
station at Bryant Park. I thought my worst fears would be that the train
station would be close, this was after coming to 5th ave and ALL the
buses...and RUNNERS !!

I was wondering why all the buses. Since I NEVER ran in the marathon, it
never crossed my mind how the runners got to the starting point. Now I
know, they get bused there. At 6am in the morning, there are a lot of
people out here who WANT to do the following. Put their bodies thrugh
the most pain ever imagin in all the world...no less, in the rain.

All the runners, plus all the left over partiers from the Holloween
Parade in The Village, makes a strange combination of people walking the
streets this early in the am. Last night where I was staying for the
night, I saw a Gumby, a Knight in REAL Shiney Armor and a Nun that was
the sluttiest that she could have ever been. I mean she came up to ,e
and offered me a BJ. I thought it was all in costume, but no, she was
really wanting to do it...for free. Didn't take her up on it, but should
have. Would've, but there were way too many people standing around
encouraging her, and me to do it. I can't perform with an audience, no
matter how hard I try, will never happen.

Back to te marathon. It takes a lot of cordination to pull this run off.
Plenty of cops, volunteers and medical people. I know one business
around 42nd street that doing a lot of business, and that's McDonald's.
Place was packed. Every runner is carrying a plastic bag, I wonder
what's in that bag, I want one. But you won't see me signing up for the
run anytime soon.
--michaelchappell

Wild Boar ???

I've been hunting 2 times in my whole entire life. First time, West
Germany, while in the Army. My unitwent to the field for 3 days. On the
2nd night I was told that ibwas needed for a detail a special one.

I had to collect about 20 bayonets. The Mess Sargent called over the
radio for our supporting engineer company to come a dig a hole in the
ground for him. Right after the dinner mess was serverd, I had to take
the slop to the whole that was dug. I went down in the hole and placed
all the bayonets points up in the ground. I mad a trail from the
woodline to the hole in the ground, and waited. I fell asleep, was woke
up and told to report to the messhall, they caught a wild boar.

I was lowered into the ground, the thing was still alive, barely, I had
to cut its throat. Besides that I had to cut up the pieces and had them
up. I was covered from head to toe in blood. Never got the chance to
taste it though. Today, I received a package from the meat manager. The
owner of the store went boar hunting, prior to that, he spoke to me
about leaving and when he returned, he would have some meat for me. Its
been a while since I had some, but gonna give it a try again.

Second time I went hunting, and this time it was with a rifle, it was
deer hunting. Stationed at Ft Jackson, SC, my roommate from Tennessee
invite me home for the 4 day weekend we were having. I never drove
through the Ten. Mountains before, so it was a nice little trip. Got to
his home late night about 2am, and went straight to sleep. I slept in a
bunk bed, bottom bunk. Was woken up at about 4am to go hunting. Not only
did I shoot a deer, I also got to dress it too. Was bloodied through the
whole ordeal too, since it was my first deer hunt.

I NEVER want to do any hunting again...wait, maybe duck hunting, I will
give that a try.
--michaelchappell