old. That shit doesn't even sound right, sounds stupid. I don't feel
like it, I don't think like it, and I don't smell like it. Let me take a
look at what has changed with me.
One, when tha fuck or what the fuck is a mid life crisises? Am I to have
one....when?? Please tell me, cause I can't really afford to go out and
but some exotic car I don't need just because I want or need to feel
younger. Ok enough of that, don't want to even think about it. Moving on
to women. My taste of women have change drastically. I men now when I
see a young woman, and young I mean below the age of say 30, I say to
myself, does she think on the same level as me. Don't get me wrong, my
level can fall between being up, and being lower. I'm saying I like to
have fun, so a 30 year old might be too mature for me, but a 40, late 40
year old may
be thinking on my level. But you take a risk, risk is everything
nowadays.
I find myself now, wanting to be alone, not even going out that much,
but I do sometimes. I find that there are so many bhours in a day. Sleep
and work take up 3/4's of it. The rest is taking care of personal
business, which sometimes could me more sleep. Hey, I can't help it, on
my feet 8 to 9 hours a day, I get tired, customers drain me. But like I
said, I don't like going out much, and I don't have to.
All my intertainment is right at home. The internet has it all. From
newspapers to music, movies, different countries, it has it all. Once I
wrote that last sentence, I know it sounded strange, but its true. If
all my family got computers, which they do, get internet access, which
they do and install a web cam, they would and could see more of me. But
that would be too 29th centry for some. I do miss them and want to see
them, but its the travel time to get to them. I think the 50's are the
onslaught of the lonely years. The years one takes self inventory to see
how far they have come in life. You start thinking about getting really
old.
Oh, I have thought of that too. I have told people, just take me out
behind the old barn and put a bullet in me, put me down. I'm not the one
to take medication now, and would hate it if I had to take it as I get
older in order to live longer. Medication is expensive now, shit, 15
years from now... I don't even want to think about it. Its sad that the
elderly are spending the money, seeing doctors, taking medications in
order to squeeze out those last 5, 6 years of life. I was told that I
would have a different look on things once I get that age, I don't think
so. My senor years I want to be in warmth, from hence the warmth I've
came, therefore I return.
I always wanted to go to Tahiti. Just recently I've named the area, Bora
Bora. Haven't read up on it or anything, but those last few years of my
life, that's where I will spend them. I believ, and I truley do, I
believe I will be working in my early 70's. About the age of 75, its to
Tahiti, the land of warmth, that means NO SNOW people. Florida, naw,
that's not for me. Some place where I could and can still what I love to
do, cook, and work on computers.
Which brings me to this. I'm in the proccess of setting up a nice little
entertainment, media center, PC and MAC based. The only thing that
holding me back is find a sattilte service provider that allows
unlimited access. Most of them charge by the gigabite, you're only
allowed so much during a 30 day period. You go over, you pay out the
ass, like 25 cents per megabite. Fuck that shit, I want unlimited. You
would think with as far as technology has come so far, you would figure
some company, mainly a Japanese company would come along with it. But
no, my service provider, which I pay 34.95 a month ony says my downlaod
speed is 8megabites a second, that shit sucks big time donkey..... when
I go up North to visit, Westchester County, I pick up wireless
connection that's faster than what I get now, but I don't live up there.
I'm sure in the years to come, things will get better.
In closing, I'm looking forward to my senoir years. I'm only missing
growing old and grey with someone, but I do have a friend whom I've know
for going on 11 years. We were a couple, but now we are best friends.
Its nothing like having a REAL best friend. They are nothing like a
childhood best friend though. Adulthood best friends are the best, hard
to explain, it just is.
--michaelchappell
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