...Just Stuff, and Oh Yeah, That 80th Birthday Party.

Okay, is it safe, safe now to pack away the long underwear & wool socks. Can I stop wearing double pairs of socks too? Pack away the winter coats too maybe. I really don't know, weather out in the mid west is STILL acting crazy. Now they are talking about tornados and such..hail too. One thing for such though, with the caots getting short, I, and along with the male species can see what some of you women have been doing and hiding all winter long. Those butts...no, asses are looking great!!

That Birthday party, some things I saw and will piont out and address. I have been the 'Long Lost Cousin', that actually LIVES in New York City. I haven't seen some cousins since 1977, prior to me going into the Army. When I was discharged, I had to catch up on ways & life in NYC, I've been good for a while. ...and family, well they willalways be there, I wasn't worried about that. Its like, 'Lead, Follow or Get The Hell Out of The Way', that was and still is my way of thinking. I knew the path I want to walk, my decision. Was hoping family understood...they didn't. So, I had to hear the, 'wherehave you been' routine. I said HERE. Just the circles you travel in, were just that circles. I choosed to travel forward and in a somewhat straight line. Not in straight as in following the law, but as in straight, I know what I want and wanted to do.

I talked with some people, I should say cousins, but I didn't know if they were. The women...let's just say I wished I had some one standing besides me telling me who was who, related or not. I had some women come up to me and say, 'so you're my cousin Michael, damn'. Yeah, it was like that. A set of female twin cousins, bought forth a fantasy that I was willing to...well, you know. Held a long convo with one who, they are both 22 years old, just wanted to pick my brains about things they heard about me. Seems family have been talking about me too, all good though.

But, I felt...kind of like distant. This setting isn't, wasn't what I'm use to. The music, the food, the whole atmosphere, was something I am use to. My custom to stuff like this is to make a circle twice and hour, get a drink, nurse it for a half an hour, get a new one and actually drink it over the next half hour and then bounce. I couldn't do that, all eyes were sort of on me. I stayed for 2 and a half hours and left.

Spoke to my first cousin who served time overseas, Air Force, Iraq. He spoke of..well actually he had a hard time talking about it. I cut him short and told him this. 'Listen, you served, joined on your own, never expecting a war was going to break out. You read about the effects of what happen to soldiers in Vietnam, right? So, you should expect shit, shit to change you. But what you have to do is listen not to what others tell you, but listen to your own body, your thoughts. If you are2 questioning things STILL today, get couseling fast, cause those thoughts and even little voices, which will turn in shouts inside you head, might be telling you something entirely different any day now. Don't be afraid to talk to some one about those thoughts, those voices. You seen shit that most of us NEVER ever will get a chance to see, and experience emotional trama on a scale that no one will probably understand. Your Goevernment knows and understand this.' He nodded his head, but like me, if I was in the position, I wouldn't do shit about it.

I'm glad the weather is breaking...bring on the warmer weather!!