02/17/20$, 12:11am

...that was the time I got the phone call. I knew it was coming, but I thought I had at least..3, 4 days. I didn't.

My mother...passed away. It sounds strange to hear my inner voice say that. Sounds even stranger when I had to inform people. But you know what, I don't tell them with sorry in my heart.

I truely believe in Heaven, The After Life and even coming back as people and or even animals. No sorrow, no pain in my heart, just loneliness. Its like I lost a Best Friend. Wait, I didn't lose her, she left me for bigger and better things. No pain, no hurt...no murders and no crimes. She isn't no longer in any more pain. I can see her now smiling and cursing whoever is in Heaven...'Okay motherfuckers!!'. She will be the only one allowed to curse in Heaven. I don't see why not. My cousin has his own church and he is the Pastor. She went to service for the first time, and my cousin started messing with her. They love to hear her curse, so starting with her in church, I bet they planned it all out.

She was confined sort of to the house and that's why I have been living with her for over 2 years. It was hard for her to walk, so she got a scooter. This is coming from a women who was use to driving herself around in her own car. I went out with her on that first day in her scooter and just like while she was driving...cursing people out and twlling thwm to move out of the way. So use to a car, the gas and brake on the floor. Not on a scooter though. So she was running into people, banging into the elevator, trying to stop from hitting the far wall. Turning corners and scraping the shopping bags off the scooter. At leat she gave it a try.

I had to tell the people in Rite Aide what happened. They were shock. One of them in the Pharmacy told me that when the Head Manager of The Pharmacy Department paid a vist to Rite Aide, she was watching how he was interacting with the coustomers. I was told she told him that he would mess up a wet dream. That was her all right.

On January 1st I went out of town. I kissed her goodbye and told her I would be back in 2 weeks. My other family members would be checking up on her. I got a voice message from her Medical Alert company, that she had fell and was taken to the hospital. It was her 2nd fall of the day. Earlier, she fell, ut refuse medical attention. But this time they wanted her to go to the hospital.

I honestly think that there was nothing wrong with her. If you don't know, the elderly are nothing but a blank check to doctors & hospitals. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks, found out she was taking 4 different tupes of medication to lower her blood pressure. That was why she was on oxygen, but she still wasn't getting enough air. After the 2 weeks, 3 weeks of rehab. 2nd week...she wanted to leave, but they wouldn't let her. Here is what I think.

All my mother wanted to do was just go home. Be around stuff that was hers. Also, she didn't like being told what to do. She got use to being in her own place, in her bed watching her own TV. I spoke with her over the phone everyday. Even though it was for a minute, I could tell in her voice that she didn't want to be there. The more I talked to her, the weaker her spirit became. Of course, this is how I feel and felt.

I'm sure the grief will hit me later own. But right now I'm feeling a seperation. Its a new feeling, and I do know it will start hurting.