Happy New Years !!

So almost at the end of 2010, and I'm ready to start 2011. I'm ready to
see what the new year brings. I'm gonna give qa short run down of this
year 2010, ready?

Well, I made more money than I did last year. I also owe more than I did
last year too. 400 dollars, plus intrest, oh yeah, throw in blowing off
the IRS, comes to over 7K dollars. Then throw in another 1500 I back
rent. What, me worry? Hells no. That's what I owe in 2010. But I'm alive
BITCHES !!

Made some new friends, both online and in person. The ones in person,
females, I keep forgetting their names so I told them this. It would be
a lot easier if you just sleep with me, that way I won't forget your
name. That didn't go over so well with the ones I really wanted to sleep
with, but the others, ok. Met some guy friends,but I can meet those type
in my dreams/ the ones that really matter thou, I don't know their
names, I call them dude. They know mine though.

Father passed away 1st of December. I wasn't heart broken, I was glad.
In a way that he doesn't have to suffer here on earth any more. He left
with me his kind spirit ad memories that are all in my head to access
any time I want to. He left the most important thing with me that I
didn't realize, the spirit to work. From the age of 14, 1974, I have
worked every year except for one year. I'm proud of that.

So, for 2011 I'm gonna do the same thing I did in 2010. Minus owing
money, I'm gonna continue to have fun !! Yep, that's what I'm about,
doing what pleases me and having a good ass time doing it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES !!! LOL
--michaelchappell

Why Am I Single?

..cause I'm a lazy bastard who has no time for a relationship, just
work. That's what it all boils down to really. I met a nice young lady
with a 15 year old son, we are feeling each other out right now. One
thing I keep doing is forgetting her name. I told her that in the past,
the way learned to remember someone's name, female of course, was to
sleep with her. She gave me that look, a look of, 'so we ARE going to
sleep together huh, cool'. She works across the street from where I work
at, and she lives in the neighborhood, I think.

She a really nice person, love her accent. Well I like everything about
her really. She has a sense of humor and see mine as really weird. Today
I'm asking her for her phone number. Even thou I'm not a phone person, I
can see myself talking to her on the phone for hours. I have majicjack,
so that's no problem with a bill. Can't wait til she comes in today.
--michaelchappell

Its a Cold, Cold World

Last night I went to sleep and a had a decent nights sleep too. Out of
the blue, I decided to text a certain female friend of mine. The more I
tapped on the keys, the more I wanted to tap on her. She is now a good
as walk from me. I mean I could walk it, but with all this snow...

I notice something as I was texting her about relationships. Nothing
world shattering, just how I see my relationships with women. I love
being in one...that's if I can find the time. Job security comes first
in the times we are living right now. Hate to say it, but a piece of
ass, isn't worth losing your job over. Well, nothing is worth losing
your job over. Like I said, the more I tapped, the more I wanted to be
with her, right then and there/ I wonder if women feel the same as men
do when it comes down to sex?

See, a guy will just call a woman up, and talk their way into, ya know,
their bed. But I wonder if there are any women who do the same thing. I
know of some that will beat around the bush, and I end up making the
move to inviting myself over. I spoke with a couple of female co-workers
who say this. If they don't get any sex, they just don't think about it,
but when they do after a long period of time, that's all they want over
the next couple of days. I have a problem with that statement.

Women don't see the act of just having sex to get your shit off as men
do. Having sex, most women, see it has a gateway to a relationship.
Some, even on the first date, want to have sex, but torture themselves
by denying not only the man, but themselves from enjoying what their won
body graves. Why? Because they don't want to give the impression of,
one, their slutty. And 2, they want the man to work for it.

Now I know women, who for one, will call me and say just what they want,
come right on out and say it. Some, will even make like an appointment.
Then there are some, who want it, but don't want the men to know they
want it. Hence the 'Game', that's how its all was invented.

Me, I like a women who knows what she wants, states it, and go after
it.
--michaelchappell

'...it was the day after Christmas, when all thru the..L

I can remember the times I spent on Christmas, the where. One was on
Border Patrol, Berlin, never will forget that one. It wasn't depressing
at all, just strange. Yesterdays's Christmas...was also strange.

I was suppose to go spend Christmas Eve and Day with my ex and her
mother. Friday, after work, was taking Metro North, upstate, White
Plains, NY. Then for some strange reason, I didn't feel like going
anywhere, just wanted to go home. I went home to a cold ass apartment,
no heat. That's what I got for changing my plans.

I just didn't feel like traveling, doing anything but nothing. I had
enough food for the day, so why not do what I enjoy most..NOTHING. I
didn't even feel like being around family. I just wanted to be relaxed,
chilled, decompressed. All I did was download a lot of movies and tv
shows, then watched them.

Then, I thought about having some company over. But there seems to be a
problem with that also. I was ready for female company right then and
there. But the 3 women that I called, ALL were with their families,
enjoying the holidays. They all said how about later on around 8pm.
Hell, I'm getting ready for bed at that time, have to work on Sunday I
said. One wanted to stop by for a half an hour, a quickie, cause she
said she was VERY horny right about now. But I didn't want a quickie, I
wanted to enjoy her like a good meal, slowly, taking small bites, a good
wine, sipping, rolling around in my mouth. But no, after 9pm she said. I
thought my other housemate was leaving for DR, or had left, but she came
stomping home at 6pm, her flight leaves today at 11am. So I came
straight out and asked did she want to...you know, just get her shit
off, enjoy herself. She said she wanted to, but she has to pack and
stuff, and sex always makes her lazy afterwards, wants to sleep. Well,
is that so? In my room I went, my cold, cold room.

She had no idea of the amount of snow that NYC is expecting, up to 16
inches. With her fine ass self, she has no time for watching tv and the
news. So when I told her what was going to happen, straight to the
internet she went to check her flight. As far as her airline knows, her
flight is on time. Like I said its cold in the apartment, I woke up at
4am and saw her sleeping on a baby mattress in the kitchen with the oven
turned on, on the floor. Then she says, looking up at me,'remember what
you asked me last night, how about now?'. Oh, I want to, but I was in
'getting ready for work' mode. I declined with an extremed erection and
thoughts of her voice STILL stuck in my head of asking. I hope her
flight is cancelled, cause as soon as I get home and she is there, I'm
having her.

Maybe that's what NYC needs right now, a good snow storm, something to
cover the city white with.
--michaelchappell

Merry Christmas.

It seems as the years go by, Christmas becomes less and less important
of a holiday to me. I know its the birth of Christ and all, but its all
commericalism if you ask me. That is if you want a lot of regular tv. I
don't.

I download all the tv shows that I live to watch from different torrent
sites. The one I use mostly, eztv.it. The great thing about downloading
any tv from a torrent site is that ALL commericals are not part of the
downloads. Since my wireless connection doesn't reach to my bedroom,
which is at the back of the apartment, I watch tv in the livingroom.
This will change when I get a wireless N router. So, for the pass 2
weeks I have been watching regular tv, mostly the news, which is STILL
depressing as hell.

The only way I can tell its Christmas is because of the commericals,
which are still the same type of commericals from when I was growing up
as a kid. Mostly car commericals too. Do people actually buy others cars
for Christmas. Hell, a new car at that. I might be able to swing a used
car, but not new. Oh well.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

--michaelchappell

Remember The First Time...

Just fill it in. That's right, remember the first time you fell in love,
first kiss, first time you had sex. For me, the first time I caught a
sexual transmitted, well you know.

I was stationed at Ft. Jackson, SC, a training post. I was Permnant
Party, a Truck Driver, hauling Basic Trainees around post. A homegirl,
from .Brooklyn, was a employee, was working in the dentist office. We
hooked up. Three days later, while I was in morning formation, my
Company Commander, pulled me to the side said I had an appointment at
Preventive Medicine Office. I didn't know what that was. Here I was at
20 years old, with already 3 years under my belt in the Army, I was in
Germany for the first 3 years f my tour.

Went to the doctors office. Took a qtip and stuck it in the head of
my..ya know. Wipe it on a slide, looked at it under a microscope, and
said yeah ok. Okay what ? Pull ya pants down an bend over, he gave me a
shot in the ass. If ya never had one of these shots, it hurts like all
HELL. Not the needle, its the medicine IN the needle. After the shot,
pulled my pants up. He said oh no, ya got another one. I almost passed
out from tha pain.

Say my homegirl alter on, about 2 days later, and told her what
happened she said sorry baby, ya know how it is. She had to go thru the
same thing too. BI didn't hold it against her either. I'm all good and
everything, but that was an experience.

My Army buddies told me later on that that's part of growing up in this
Man's Army. Oh well.
--michaelchappell

Why Don't I Learn.

For me, being in a relationship is all good. But when I'm not in one,
and I'm just being a whore, fucking, when I get a chance, and, even feel
like having sex, that's all good too.

So tell me, why do guys & gals lie about being either in a relationship,
or have people that you're, lets just say are fucking. I think I know
why, allow me to break it sown. Bear with me.

Guys, guys are sluts, but the male version. If a female was to approach
a guy..wait females do this but be serious, meaning have a serious face
on. See what happens.

Aprroach a good looking guy, or any guy. Say to him, I've been checking
you out and I was wonsering if you would like to... Ok, just rap to the
guy, as if a guy was rapping to you. Lay it on him heavy and thick, but
be serious about it. Just as a guy would ask you, you as the same
questions, but put a female swing to it. Then ask the guy is he married,
seeing anyone girlfriend, and they say, 'are, or you just fucking'. See
what happens next, see the expression on his face. Watch it study it.

I said all of this cause I met a nice young lady 35 years old. We were
seeing each other everyday at the bus stop, so one day I stopped a
chatted up a storm with her. I asked, married, bf, attached, or just
fucking. She said none of that. So we exchanged phone numbers, she
calls,and I call her. We planned to meet up after Christmas and before
New Years...until this morning.

I receive a email saying..'I suggest you stop emailing my wife and
calling her. Later on, I'm gonna ask her what's going on between the two
of you'. So, what was my next move? Call her, email her and find out why
she puts herself and ME in this type of situation? He doesn't know me,
or what I look like. I'm not worried about all of that thou. If he has
any computer skills, all of that is easy to find out. But I ask myself,
why lie?

I'm more angry with myself more than with her. My rule is this... I
don't care if you have a boyfriend, or if you are married. If any of
those two, my next move is to still get with you, but the quicker the
better. But what was happening, it was going as a 'maybe we can have a
relationship' type thing. Now if you didn't have nayone, and all you
want to do is just get together to have sex, that's cool too cause we
have been seeing each other 5 days a week for like 4 months. Always, I
would stop and talk with her, alter she would call me. I would ask when
its a good time to call her, and she would tell me.

But I ask, why lie? I don't know. I would never lie about something like
this. Me, you know what I'm about from the first 5 minutes of the convo.
And, its not about sex all the time, but you will know I'm interested in
you.

We will see what happens over the next couple of days.
--michaelchappell

What Is My Problem...Now ?

I'm calling my friend Joanne once I get to The Bronx, at my mothers
house. We are suppose to see each other this weekend. She's not my
girlfriend or anything, but I like being around her, with her. But for
some strange reason, and its been a while since we have seen each other,
some reason I don't want to see her this weekend as planned.

It has nothing to do with her, its me. No, for real, its me. Here is the
thing. I get off at 2pm, going to my mothers house 2 and a half hours
away. After visiting my mother, I 'suppose' to go pick up Joanne. This
means traveling another 2 and a half hours to go pick her up, and THEN
another hour and a nd half back to my place. All this with, she has no
money and me very little. Again all of this travling just for sex, and
from what she said, that it isn't ALL about sex. Oh yes tha fuck it is.

It seems like the older I get, things it more complicated when it comes
to satisfying the flesh..having sex. Me, I have no problem otherwise
going to a professional to satify my needs. I go to a place, pay what I
have to pay, and then I leave. I get what I want the way I want it, no
questiones asked. I know of a couple of places, affordable, clean and
nice. One of these places will come to my place at the same regular
price, can't beat that.

I find myself wanting more and more lately, sorry to bring this up, but
that's how I am. Since I don't work or live, well for me, in a typical
Black and Pueto Rican area, these woman, young ladies are looking exotic
and good to me. My area , where I live is Dominican and Gayuanse. This
woman are VERY pretty. I'm not taking anything away from my Sisters, but
these woman are different. Wow, gotta go, running late.
--michaelchappell

What's So Hard ?

A female friend of mines is having a hard time at home. So she wants to
get away for a while with me, I have no problems with that. My off time
from work is my time to re group and take care of me. What I'm saying is
this. If you want to spend time in my world, so to speak, be ready when
I say I'm making a move to come pick you up.

I dislike waiting on anyone, including family as well. If I say I'm
going to be here or anywhere at a certain time, you should try and be
there at that time. I don't care, drop everything you're doing and be
there. If you tell me to meet you somewhere, me knowing me, I'm there
before you are, waiting on you. That's how I am.

I can see that this isn't going to happen cause some people feel like
'when I get there, I get there' attitude. Oh yeah, really? Well, my
grace/waiting period is 15, 20 minutes to an half an hour tops. I
dislike waiting around for some one to show up. It shows me that your
attitude towards me is no caring. Treat our meeting up like a job
interview. Treat life like a job interview.
--michaelchappell

Ahhhh, Okaaay

I have said in the past, that I have a constant yearning for and of
information. I don't care idf its in print or on the radio. When it
ccomes to tv, its doc like on PBS, mainly the show Nove.

I heard something on XM radio last night. Channel 165, The Janson Lweis
Show, here is what I heard.

In China, each person is alocated 1,700 square feet, ok. I think I heard
something like that, but I'm not show, that's the only thing I didn't
hear clearing. Here's the rest. There roughly 6.5 billion people on the
face of the earth. If we took all those people and gave them 1,700
square feet, we all can fit in the state of Texas. Yep Texas, 6.5
billion people. You may think that the world is over popualted, no, its
not that. Its just that we havea lot of people in small places, like
India. If ETls were to land, lets say in any one of our desert, say the
Mohave Desert. The would think that there wasn't any life forms on this
planet. The Mohave Desert is barren, no people for hundreds of square
miles. Another thing anbot this Texas thingy. At a certain point in
Texas, heading to anothe point of Texas, it would take you more than 24
hours to drive, and you will STILL be in the state.

I might have not explain that right, figure it out. When I heard that, I
was amazed, I told some people, but they couldn't grasp what I was
saying. Its all about information.

My deli manager sees me read at least 4 newspapers, and 3 magazines
during my shift at work. I have all my work done, food cooked, stuff
prepped for the next day. All I'm waiting for is customers to come to
the counter. He started doing something that pissing me off. Before I
get a chance to read anything, he grabs what I have set aside to read,
thumbs thru it, and ask me what they are saying, talking about. I tell
him I don't know, haven't read it yet, you read it. I think he has a
problem with reading, but anyway that makes me angry. Asking me to read
something to him or explain something while he has the article right in
front of him.

There is only 2 rooms in this 4 bedroom apart that stay constantly warm
from the cold outside. My bedroom and the bathroom. Its good to be the
King.
--michaelchappell

Can't Sleep

You know how you think about some of the good experinces you have had in
life, and it brings a smile across your face. So, imagine the GREAT
experinces, and you can't get to sleep, cause they keep playing over and
over in your head. That's happening to me, me and this certain woman.

I thought, and I continue to think its me. I mean, I like her and
'stuff', but I think its cause I'm set in my ways. My ways are nothing
like, ' want to be alone', or, ' I like sleeping by myself and in my own
bed'. Its just when things happen that way and you get use to doing it
that way, that's the way it is. I guess I'm just turning into an old man
with an active mind, which is way too active.

I make plans to do things, things that I know I will enjoy after a days
work. But when the work ends, its like I'm on auto, home, relax for 15
minutes, shower, tv and in bed by 8:30pm. I don't think there's nothing
wrong with me. I have no problem expressing excatly what I want. Its
just that, that...I want things to be simple. Its like I deal with the
public, M kind of forced to make small take, make you feel comfortable.
I tend to be personal, personal about my life, I have no secrets.

I was asked the other day by a female customer, don't I have any
problems with exposing myself like that to just anyone. I said this. '
I'm me, I'm happy with me and that's all that matters and counts. If you
have a problem with me, I'm sure you will say something to me about what
I did wrong to you. If by chance you're happy or I bought a smile across
your face, in your heart, feel free , and tell me. But you won't. You
won't cause you're afraid of exposing yourself cause you're afraid what
I might do with it. Take your kindness for granted. My kindness isn't
mine any more if I give it to you, its yours to do with as you please'
she then said that I probably don't let anything bother me. But things
do, people do and I tell them right there on the spot. Once its out of
my system, its not mine any more, I don't go over it any more. I move
on, and still be friendly with you.

That's how I am, that's how I rasied myself.
--michaelchappell

Some Disturbing Stuff

You see it on those crime shows, or on The Lifetime Channel. Young girl gets assaulted by her moms bf. She tells her mother, she doesn't believe her, and gets the daughter out of the house. Well, yesterday before I left from work, a customer daughter came crying and told me this.

Her mother comes to the deli counter almost every day. Watch when she comes in today or some time this week, watch what I do. The daughter, 22 years old, pretty, no kids and no job. The mothers bf, works, supplies the food for the household. He thinks that the daughter is part of the package, you have mom AND the daughter? I don't think so. See, most people would look the other way, I CAN'T and WON'T !! I've seen the bf a couple of times, a real dirt bag if you ask me, but hey, to each its own. The daughter, I told her if she was a little older... she said that she's old enough, but she isn't. I see why now, she wanted to get out of the house. She told her mother what the bf was doing, and she didn't believe her, threw her out the house

With guys like this, they should just cut their balls off. Its not right, no one, male or female should have to go thru something like this or that no matter what. I have some female friends who are single, no children, I'm making some calls later on.

It Snowed, Well, Sort of Snowed, Yeah It Did Last Night.

I was just thinking about something, and this was after I spent a cold
ass night in my room with NO FREAKIN' HEAT !! Living in the Projects
isn't / wasn't all that bad. I never lived in one. My parents , well I
did, but it wasn't called a Project, Condos. Good thing about living in
them in the winter time, there is ALWAYS heat and hot water.

I had rooms in private houses and it seems the owners don't know what
heat is. Always tardy on the heat when its freezin' outside. Like now.
Just moved into this 4 bedroom apartment. Landlord comes up yesterdy
afternoon after I got home from work, he wants to put plastic on the
windows. I thought, oh, how nice of him. THE BASTARD !!! I see why
now.my bedroom and the one next to me, isn't getting any heat thru the
radiators. All other parts of the apartment are. I wake up this morning,
run to the bathroom to take a shower to WARM UP !! Then I nade a cup of
tea. Some one in the hbouse went into the bathroom, turns out it was my
hosemate and her boyfriend, they took a shower together. Laughing,
joking and kissing. I ahte to break the mood, but where is the FUCKING
HEAT at !!?? She says she has to call the landlord and tell him. In a
couple of days, the 4 of them, not the bf, are goinf to The Dominican
Republic for a month. Ya think they are worried about me freezing my nut
sack off whie they're gone, NOPE!!!

--michaelchappell

My mother has a cat..well, not a cat or a kitten. Its at that stage
where she is in between. She plays with you and comes when you call.
Cats don't come when you call them, they just look at you. The cats name
is 'V', because my sister found the kitten on the Van Wyk Expressway.
She actually pulled over and stopped, went back and got it before it got
hit by a car.

This kitten is crazy. I'm sleeping, dead asleep, and she jumps up and
down on my chest. Almost gave me a heart attack. I love cats !!
--michaelchappell

Both of these women pictured are sisters, I currently share an apartment with, along with their aunt and uncle. Everyone on the 17th of December, with the exception of me, are traveling to DR for a month. I was invited to go, but the job won't give me that much time off from work, maybe 2 weeks. Thats not enough for me though.

Essence Magazine

I haven't read Essence in over, lets say about 5 years. Now, I know why I refused to read this magazine. I stand behind what I'm about to say too.

Why is it that all the people in this mag, why are all of them so pretty? Not all black people are attractive you know, but they are beautiful. See, some people don't know the difference between the two so I'm going to expalin the difference.

Being atrractive, you don't have time for the beautiful people. Beautiful people won't get caught with being with attractive people, understand. There are plenty of beautiful people in our urban cities, they are the single parents who take the time to care for their children. They are there for their kids no matter what. Attractive people, those mostly in entertainment and films, music, have 'handlers' who, handle their kids. Since they are making the money, they have to continue to make in order to live in that life style. Attractive people would rather have that person who has a college degree, staright white teeth, no attachments as in kids with another woman. Beautiful people on the other hand, try to fit in with those who have kids from another relationship. This is getting too deep for me as I type and that magazine is making, has made me a s mad as ever.

All I want is a female who will accept me as I am. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, and I go to sleep. 2 main things in that sentence...I work and I come home. That's what I want in a women too, but mainly, that she comes home.
--michaelchappell

William 'Willie' Raines

That's my farthers name, and the veiwing of his body was this evening
from 2pm to 7pm. I haven't seen certain family members since I was about
12 or 13 years old. Their faces, some of them are still the same. It was
uncomfortable, because of his death, is what bought them back into my
life. I'm not the one for family gathering, reunions and things of that
nature.

The last funeral I've been to was that of my father's father. It shooked
me because that's not how how remembered my grandfather. So I had
nightmares for months. But I don't think that will happen because of my
father's death. It was like a calm came over me, I was relaxed.

My cousin, who is a Preacher got up and said some amazing words plus
read from The Bible. I'm paraphrasing what he read, but what he said is
true. We should not be sad, but be joyous because believe it or not
this is a day of joy. I didn't understand, but I do now.

Who wouldn't want to go to a place where there is no war, crime, or
people ever get sick. No great heatwaves or terrible temps below 32
degrees. Where everyday is ALWAYS bright and sunny and people smile all
day. One day, and its for sure, I will see that place and my father and
all my departed loved ones again.
--michaelchappell

Just Some Thoughts of...

So, you left him, moved out to your own place. Your son spent 3 to 4
days a week with you, then... Your husband moved in WITH you. WTF ?!!
See, I know what the deal is/was, and you confirmed it. Even though you
say that you don't love him anymore, its a money thing. After you moved
out, he started giving you more money and you thought that once he moved
in, that say rate of flow of money will continue. Well, did it ? NO !!
Now you talk with me and ask me what you should do, and I told you to
tell him to move out. But that's hard to do this second time around, huh
?

Kim, I love holding you and all that comes with us getting together when
we DO get..when I get a chance to get with you. We have known each other
for 5 whole years or more. But what bothers me is the traveling to see
you. Once I'm with you I don't want to leave, so that means traveling
back to my place and to work. Today, after work, I'm coming to you and
will explain this so just listen, ok.

Armita, sweetheart you're a beautiful young lady. I know you get tired
of mesaying that to you. When we work together we keep it professional,
all the way. What drives me crazy is when you cuddle up to me, and wrap
your leggs around mine. See, I know what's that's all about. Your
bioyfriend who is in another country, which you haven't seen in 3 years,
is a lucky man. But from what youare showing me, you're missing that
closeness of being held, being made love to. You told me this yourself.
So that's why I set the date of May 11th, and you agreed to it. If he
has come to see you by then, I will come to see you, or you will come to
me. You agreed on that.

To all of my female friends from that social network site, I'm not
mentioning the site's name thou. Listen up, I told you what I'm about,
so you can't change my mind about what you want me to do. Its either you
get with it or I move on, like I have done. I'm not the one to play
games or make promises. I work, you work, I support myself, you support
yourself. I pay my bills, I be damned if I pay any of your bills, feed
you kids or any shit like that. When we meet for that first face to
face, don't be put off by what I say with what I want. I don't want a
relationship. We are both beyond that point in our life's. Its now about
compainionship for those few hours when I, we both have the time. Sure,
some going out, but I don't do movies, I go to sleep in them, a waste of
money. Going to resturants, I'm a cook, Sous Chef, I know what a plate
of food actually cost, again waste of money. Quiet nights ate home
either I cook or you. You have kids? It should be established that
you're no longer with the babies father, right? But I do understand when
you do the do with him every once in a while, its like you have to. I
know you have a whole other life other than when we are suppose to be
together seiing or doing each other. So don't say that you're not with
the baby's father cause its a lie. Don't like liars.

In whole, I'm not perfect either. I sometimes just become a 'lazy ass
fuck' hell, I'm on my feet 9 to 10 hours a day, dealing with people who
don't know what da fuck they want to eat. So, if I act like I'm cranky
after a days work, become quiet after a days work, or just lay there
like I'm dead, its because..I'M DRAINED, tired, exhausted. But it has
nothing to do with you. But when I say, I could make love to you all the
time, its true. There is a number of things that turn me on about you.
So what you gained a lot of weight, you may be fat in fact. That's just
more of you to make love to. Its your body, be pround of it.
--michaelchappell

Sadness

My sister texted me 911 last night, I was sleep, and I woke up and saw
the text. I called her, she told me that our father had passed away. I
was speechless, didn't know what to say other than what happened.

My mother and him were sitting in the living room, he got up and went to
the kitchen, she saw him walk in. After some time, she wondered where he
was at, so she got up and went to the kitchen, she didn't see him. The
kitchen is like a 2 parter kitchen, no doors thou, kitchen table, then
it, the room breaks to the left to where the store and sink are.

Since she didn't see him in the kitchen, she went to the bedroom,
passing the bathroom, which he wasn't in, on the way. At the bedroom, he
wasn't in there either. So she goes all the way into the kitchen, and he
is on the floor. She calls 911, ambulance come, he's still alive, and
they take him to the hospital. My sisters show up there. Donna looks at
him and see that he isn't going to be around much long, she talks with
him.

He ask..his name is William Raines, we call him Willie. He ask, where is
his sandwich and Donna ask what sandwich. He says the one in the
refrigerator. Donna says where, he says in Parkchester. My other sister
Sharon is living in the 3 bedroom apartment in Parkchester that's in his
name, for a number of years now. With that answer, he closes his eyes,
and Donna says it was like he was going to sleep.

I don't know what to feel. I'm 50 years old, and he has been in my life
as far as I remember, when I was 8 yeras old, 1968. Its like I know we
all have to die at one time or another, but when it happens to the ones
you love and they love you back, its a little, no a lot of shakening.
(If that's a word).

One thing for sure though, that man loved to eat. I worked at the Cafe,
Soicety Cafe, located on 114th and 8th Ave, he came down there one day
around lunchtime, and spent the whole 6 hours there eating, paying full
price. I was the waiter, cashier, manager, and cook, all buy myself.
When 2 of my co workers and the manager and the owner came in, they
wanted to know who he was. I said that's my father. They all agreed that
he could put some food away. His bill came well over 150 dollars, which
the owner comped it all. I remember that day, a good one for bothe him
and I.

I spoke with my mother last night. Prior to his passing, she didn't want
him in the house any more, she wanted him ina nursing home. I offered to
share an apartment with him, but she turned that down. My mother had
said back then, about 2 months ago, all she want to do was have a decent
7 months left on earth, that's why she wanted him out of the house. Now
she sort of have her wish.

I don't mean that in a bad way, cause last night, my mother said
something that scared the hell out of me. She said, 'now I can die'.
What the fuck is that suppose to me? I figured it out. She really didn't
want him in anursing home, she didn't want him living with me, she
wanted him to just move on, you know like to heaven.

Now I'm worried about her, she will be 76 on December 14th.
--michaelchappell

You know what makes me angry as fuck? Well, a lot of things do, but this
is one of them. A guy meets a woman, and the guy is from another
country, right. He goes back, and the guy leads the woman to believe
that he is coming back for her to be with her. Now, this 'said' woman,
is lying all over the place, well not lying. Cause the guy tells her one
thing, and she believes it. Now this woman is going to his country to
amrry him. That makes no sense to me at all.

I'm not 'hating' or anything like that, but I don't want to see her get
hurt. He's been gone for almost a whole year now. She said he said, that
he is coming for Christmas. That's not gonna happen, and she is gonna be
all in a funk now.

See, I'm not like that, I say what I want and mean, straight forward
like that.
--michaelchappell

Happy Turkey Day

Ok, what am I'm thankful for, a whole hell of a lot really. Ilm
thankful...That I got all body parts that are working, in good health, a
loving and forgiving family, friends that understand, and enemies that
understand also. Thankful for...I can wake up every morning, that I have
the will the yearning to do better, or at least I try. That I have a
job, that I have co workers who understand that I'm not yelling at them,
but to them. Thankful for..I can walk down the street and chew bubble
gum at the same time. That I love myself FIRST. Well that's all that
come right to mind.
--michaelchappell

Thoughts

A woman came to my counter yesterday and told me something that has me
thinking. She said that she wish I had as many friends as I do. What
made her think that I have a lot of friends. She said because everytime
she comes to my counter, I'm always talking with the customers.

Hey, but that's part of my job I tell her. She says that she is single,
aged about 45 years or so, no childeren and wants to be in a
relationship. I asked her was it because she wants to have sex on a
regular basis, or does she miss talking with some one. She said both. I
explained to her what she can do.

Guys know straight off if you're intrested in just sleeping with them,
if that's what you want. She claims that she doesn't want one night
stands, and I told her she doesn't have to have many one night stands.
Just find one that you feel comfortable with. Then it got around to
talking about me. She stood there for about 2 hours, between customers
we talked. She said that she feels at ease talking with me, and invites
me to her home for dinner. She doesn't cook, so it will have to be take
out. When ?

Turns out it was last night. After we ate, she told me to relax, and
that she notices that I'm not as talkative outside of the workplace. I
told her this is a new surrounding to me, so I have to get myself at
ease. She just came straight out and asked me to make love to her, I
corrected her. I told her that I will have sex with her right now if she
wanted me to. But there was a problem.

Now she isn't fat in anyway, but she has a thing about her body being
seen in the light and she wanted to turn the lights off. I told her no,
I want to see her body, that part of the proccess. Like I said she isn't
fat, all the right curves in ALL the right places. The night was
enjoyful as all hell too.

Afterwards we talked. She said she feels sooooo at ease with me, and
that she wants to see and do things with me if I didn't mind. Since we
went no further than her living room, I asked to see the rest of the
apartment. She has an extra bedroom. I asked her does she want a
roommate? She said yes if it was me only. How much for rent, 300 a
month. Wow !!

So I explained something to her. She must have a interent connection,
for one. I don't bring any one to where I live at. And we would be just
be roommates with benifits, so she can bring who ever she wants in,
since its her apartment. She tells me that all she wants is me in her
apartment, and that she has been living here for 3 years, and I was the
first man ever to step foot in her place.

I told her I will let her know by next week. For me, its a move to a
home with just one other person living there. But, I could grow to like
this women, even be in a relationship for the matter. But I think she is
just lonely and once she breaks out of her shell, she will ask me to
move on.
--michaelchappell

Got a Strange Email The Other Day.

This email is from a female friend I have know for over 6 years. We use
to date, then we were only sleeping buddies if ya know what I mean.
Then, its almost a whole year now, I haven't seen her face to face, no
contact at all. Then I receive an email stating the following.

She is/was/is seeing aguy now for almost a whole year now, but put off
sleeping with bim cause she doesn't know where her and I stand at. She
actually asked permission to sleep with this guy. What am I suppose to
say? If I say, go ahead, it might show that I don't care about her. If I
say no, wait on me, that's being selfish as hell, right ?

She lives almost 2 hours from me by train and bus, and I don't get up
her way that much. I could make a trip to her house before I go and see
my mother, but she expects me to spend the night. Or, I can go see my
mother, then spend the night at her house. Either way, its putting
stress on me and what I do at my job.

After working 6 days straight, I just want to layup at home, quiet
without talking to anyone. When I go visit her, she's so happy to see
me, she can stop talking, and that means I have to pay attention, and
not fall asleep after sex. See what I mean.

So her asking me can she see this other guy has put me in a
predicturement.
--michaelchappell
--michaelchappell

Tool: Learn To Swim

I was walking home from work, and that song, 'Learn to Swim' by Tool
came to mind. So, I search for the lyrics, and downlaoded the song once
again just to play it and sing the lyrics to the song. This song is
excatly how I feel.

'Fret for your figure and,
Fret for your latte and,
Fret for your lawsuit and,
Fret for your hairpiece and,
Fret for your prozac and,
Fret for your polit and,
Fret for your cable and,
Fret for your car and.
Its a 3 ring circus sideshow of freaks.'

I worry about way too much shit sometimes...but only for a second.
Cause, I keep in mind that thers is A Higher Power who knew 2000 years
ago just what I was going to, am going to face on this day or any given
day, then... All the worry dissappears as quickly as it came. There are
certain things iisues that I have control over, and then there are some
that I don't. My thoughts...let shit happen the way it suppose to
happen, then worry about changing what doesn't go my way. Its hard to
explain, and I know it doesn't sound right, but...

'Some say a comet will fall from the sky,
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumfounded dipshits.

'Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I could sure use a vacation from this..
Silly shit... stupid shit'

That last paragraph is what it all boils down to. Like sometimes, I wish
this world would just end. I don't want to kill myself in no way. I just
want the world to end...all of us, just be gone. Hence.. 'Silly shit,
stupid shit.

'One great big festering neon distraction
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied...
Learn to swim
Moms gonna fix it all soon.
Moms comin' around to put it back the way it ought to be.'

Learn to swim

Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim

Fuck retro anything
Fuck your tattoos
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short term memory.

Learn to swim

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfuntional
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim

Cuz I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves.
I wanna see the ground give way
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna watch it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Learn to swim.

I know these lyrics may not make any sense reading them, but listen to
the song, and sing along with it.
--michaelchappell

Veterans Day

It bothers me when I read about people who put down our Armed Forces.
Saying things like they would never serve and shit like that. They need
to think about it some.

Where would this country be if we didn't have those brave male and
female soldiers proctecting everything that we stand for. With all the
hurt that's going on in this world, the USA has the strongest fighting
machine there is. Its not only the soldiers out there on the war front
protecting our rights. Its those people that come up with the technology
that helps us to become the strong war machine that we are. Jobs are
created for the protection of what we hold true.

If I could, I would re enlist and do it all over again. The bond you
create with those who you serve with is a strong as bond, something that
can never be broken. True, some of us while serving don't always come
out at the end with our wits, metally and physically sane. I'm sorrowed
by that, but with the support of the family, some of us can and will
make it threw.

Whenever I see a soldier in uniform, I always try and engaged them in
conversation. Along with thanking them for the jobs that they are doing,
I always ask about what their future plans are, like when they are
discharged. Most have said that they never really have given it a
thought. So, I try and tell them in kinder words that they should really
think about that.

A salute goes out to ALL of those who served and are serving in ALL of
our Armed Forces.
--michaelchappell

Gettin' Close To That Time of Year..Christmas !!

I look forward to Christmas every year for a number of reasons. One, it
puts me in a good mood, and two, well I will explain.

Every year I come across all types of females due to my job. Some I
become good friends with, and others I dread they coming to my counter.
This year there isabout 5 to 8 of them that are special. So one of them
will get a present from me.

Every year, I pick out something from Victoria Secrets and send it as a
gift, no strings attached. Last year when I presented the gift to her,
and she opened it, she didn't know what to say. But she did say it was
the nicest gift she got from a non boyfriend, even a boyfriend. She
asked why did I did this. I told her it was something that I thought she
would look nice in. I never got the chance and wasn't expecting to, see
her in it either. She did say she would take a picture in it, but never
showed me. We are still in contact with each other.
--michaelchappell

Fw: DNA - Tunnel for Obama near Mani Bhavan

Subject: DNA - Tunnel for Obama near Mani Bhavan
Date: Sat, 06 Nov 2010 05:12:31 +0530

Tunnel for Obama near Mani Bhavan

It could give a sense of superior American organisation, or be an
indicator of a deep-set persecution complex. It could also be a
manifestation of Uncle Sam's penchant for a show of strength.

The matter pertains to US president Barack Obama's planned visit to
Mani Bhavan —the Gandhi museum — on November 6, soon after he
reaches Mumbai. On Monday, US secret agents visited the museum to plan
Obama's security detail.

They were accompanied by officers of Mumbai Police and civic officials
of the D ward (where Mani Bhavan is located). While inspecting the route
and the buildings lining up the route to the museum, the Americans
detected a skyscraper near Peddar road and also found the area to be
highly populated.

Since it is difficult to monitor such a congested area, they came up
with a quick solution which left the Indians accompanying them amazed: A
bomb-proof over-ground tunnel — to be installed by US military
engineers in just an hour.

The tunnel would be a kilometre long and measure 12ft by 12ft — enough
to let Obama's cavalcade pass through. The tunnel would be centrally
air-conditioned, fitted with close-circuit television cameras, and will
be heavily guarded at every point, including, of course, its entry and
exit.

Details about when exactly the tunnel would be made were not
forthcoming. But officials said that the structure would be dismantled
immediately after Obama leaves the area.

--michaelchappell

Worries

There are some issues that are involing family members, close family
members. There is nothing..well there is one thing I could do.

My mother doesn't want my father to live in the same house with her any
longer. Its not what you think. They both are elderly, him more than
her. He can hardly see, and you know how people get once they start
getting on in years. Its also not that she doesn't care about him, she
doesn't want to worry about him when he goes out in the street for
whatever. The last time, yesterday, he got confused, and couldn't find
his way back home in the neighborhood. Some one bought him home, and
this upsetted my mother greatly.

I suggested that they find a 2 bedroom apartment in one of the many
homes that's in my area to rent for me and him. I can't afford..no, I
don't have the funds for the 1 months rent or whatever they want to move
in. I can afford to pay up to 700 dollars a month in rent. This was
mentioned to my mother thru my brothers and sisters, but she turned it
down. I guess she doesn't want worry about him being in any other place
except for a nursing home.

See, I've heard about parents being placed in nursing homes, but
wouldn't think that it would be me the one or one of the ones to make
that decision. Its a hard call to make for all the family members. Its
also that I have a bad feeling about him going into any place like this.
Its like he won't be part of the family, and that really bothers me.

My co workers told me that everything will work out for the best. I feel
what they say, but this is heavy on my heart. Its the fact that its come
down to this and I'm am so helpless in the situation. I'm the oldest, I
should lead. But that's not how it is.

My true feelings, day before yesterday, was all selfish. No one cares
about me, I care about me only. Its not like that, aor, I don't feel
that way now. I wish I hit the Mega Millions and ALL these issue woud be
solved on all fronts. But I'm not rushing out and wasting what little I
have. All I want my family to know is that I'm there fpr any choice,
decision they decide to make.
--michaelchappell

Movie Review: Winter's Bone

Some movies are meant to be seen on the big screen, and some should have
gone straight to dvd. This movie should have gone straight to dvd, cause
its content is lost on the big screen.

This movie is about...well, that's kind of hard to explain. Its about a
single parent household which could be in the mountains of some poor
white cultured people, trash. This movie is about drugs, but only two
scene in the entire movie, less than 7 seconds, 20 tops is shown, but
its not about drugs. This movie covers so much and says so much which
makes it hard to explain.

One thing I do know, this is a must see movie. Its about the strength of
adaughter who wants the best for her family, brothers, sisters and
mother.
--michaelchappell

Yeah, I have an account on twitter, and I follow people. Some people
follow me, but that's not what I open anaccount for. I could care less
if you follow me, but I am intrested in what other people are saying and
doing in their lives.

Some people, and me too, say the same thing over and over again. But
that goes to show you that things are almost the same everyday. I rarely
tweet on my day off, cause nothing intresting is happening, but
sometimes I do. This morning, one of the people I follow said something
about the college student who was secretly film having a gay encounter.
From what I gathered, he is also gay, but haven't yet came to terms with
saying it out loud. But then again, he could've just been stating how he
feels or felt about the matter. He then retweeted something from some
one he follows or follows him. It went like this..'in other nigger
news...'

Now I didn't take offense to what ws said, cause frankly I don't know
the person(s) who said it, tweeted it. But it all goes to show you just
how this world is, and the way people think. Twitter has given people
the choice to voice what they have to say. Another person who I follow
is something else to read his tweets. I'm not mentioning his screen name
cause I just won't. But he his Black, a male, and he has a problem with
either white people, or that he is living as a black man.

Him too, being Black has no problem using the word nigger, but he takes
offense to anyone using it as 'niggas' Go figure. Another thing is, he
has this concept about the bible, who were slaves and what Black Peiople
should be doing as a whole of trying to get from under the White Man's
influnce or embrace. Which, ALL have me confused as hell. This guy has a
music website where he promotes new, un signed rappers and DJ's. He
doesn't have a job, but claims he is well off. Judging from his website,
which is nicely put together, it seems he is doing good for himself. He
too, Twitter has given him a means and way to express himslf.

Me, I just say what's on my mind, period. It gives me a way to release
steam. I must remind myself that when most of my anger stems from just
dealing with customers for that short 3 to 5 minutes. I remind myself,
when they start acting like complete assholes, thay they are only in
front of me for those few minutes. It helps, and I can deal with it. But
there is one thing that bothers me.
My mother has a Twitter account.

I happen to come across it while my niece was updating her FB account,
which my moms has one too. So, I checked out her account, which she
doesn't add anything to it or on it. Do I ask to follow her...HELLS NO
!! Then she will see what I tweet and speak some type of shit I don't
wanna hear or see. But that's the things about the net. Anyoe can use
and express what they feel, but... We all don't want to be confronted
with it at times. Gotta clock in, c-ya.
--michaelchappell

"...Beside, There Are Still Some Rules"

Yes, there are still some rules to dating. The first being age limit.
So, I'm 50 yrs old, and by the rules, the youngest I can date/sleep with
a female is 32 years old. How did I come by this number, let me show
you.

Half of 50 is 25, then add 7 years, equals 32 years old. That's what I
go by..well as of lately that is. But this brings me to this 22 year
old. She carrysa herself much more maturely than her actual age. She has
all the curves in ALL the right places. Cute face, bright smile and her
atitude is like, like, I can even discribe it. BUT, she is 22 years
old.

To be honest, all I want to do is take her to bed, and continue to take
her to bed as long as she lets me. Again, but she is 22 yrs old. There
are other things too that is setting her apart from all the rest, she is
married, about to get a divorce. The flashing red lights, sirens and
bright yellow signs should be flashing, but they aren't. I should know
better, but I don't. This is also to say, I know she has no liking of
me. As a friend, but that's all.

The other day, a lady friend of mine, we were talking about the subject
of sex. Its been proven that men and women differ on this subject, and I
wanted to know what her say so was about. She said she wants a man that
can provide for her for in the future. I asked her what she was willing
to bring to the table. It was the usual, cooking, cleaning and taking
care of the home. I told her all that, a man can do by himself, you need
to bring more than that. But she didn't think there was any more.

This is how I see it. SEX, plays a big part. You have to have the same
hunger. You both have to want each other even outside of the
bedroom/house/apartment. Any problems, bills anything, that going to
make both our lives unhappy, we need to BOTH catch it while its young
and deal with it. Hide nothing, dicuss EVERYTHING. Both have to be
willing to compromise and sometimes just lay back and let the other take
control and feel comfortable with that. I told her my ideal woman would
have to be single for at leat 5 years and is able to do for herslf. But
she didn't understand this.

Some women not all, want a man to take care of them, but they still want
their independance.
--michaelchappell

!!!!!!!

Now, I don't get sick that often. But when I do, it really bothers me.
That's the thing, since I work around customers, their sickness sooner
or later becomes mine. It started as just throwing up one morning,
thought I might be pregnant, so there was no chance of that. As the day
went along, runny nose, sneezing, eyes watering. By the time I clocked
out from work, I had a bad cough. Went home and went straight to be.
Awoke at 1am to a scratchy feeling in my chest and bring up 'Aliens'
from deep in my throat. But the show must go on.

Since I spend all day on my feet, just getting out of bed was the
hardest part. Made it in to work, and the day just got worse and worse.
Customers sneezing and coughing without covering up, and my co sowrkers
too. To make matters worst, yesterday my manager left early, wife was
takien to the hospital, so I came in early cause I didn't know if he was
coming in. The store manager opened up at 6am. Then my deli manager
shows up and says he called me last night to start work at 6am, and he
wanted me to clock in. I told him no. The only reason why I came in
early cause I didn't think you were gonna show up. So he schedualed a
cleaning in the deli with another co worker who is working 6am to 11am.
See, if I would hve clocked in, the deli manager would have stepped out
of the deli to do some other shit, and left me there to do everything. I
complained to the store manager and he told me I was right. Listen, you
don't control me, and tell me when and what hours to work. He already
changed my work schedual for this week, he changes it to fit his needs.
Son of a bitch.
--michaelchappell

A Weird Dream

A dream of an abandon building, gutted really. People with eastern
apparel on, hats and all. View from above, them burying 95 pound
projectiles in an empty lot right next dor. I'm in the dream, but I feel
like I'm not one of them, like on the outside, new.
--michaelchappell

This Is a True Friend.

It was June 18th, 1980 and I was stationed at Ft. Jackson, SC Prior to
getting here, let me see... I just came off a 12 day leave, prior to
that, I went thru truck driver school at Ft Dix, NJ for a month and a
half. Prior to that, I was on 62 days leave cause I just had re enlisted
for the truck driver school,AND I spent 3 whole years, without seeing
the United States in GERMANY !!

Ft Jackson is a training post, basic training and advance idividual
school. 50,000 basic trainess. Was assigned to The 342nd Transportation
Company, combat ready, 5ton and 2 1/2 ton trucks. In the messhall is
where I met her, Elaine.

Elaine was one year younger than me, and she was a civilian working
cleaning up the messhall. When I saw her, all I did was stare. To this
day, I don't know how I introduced myself to her, but after 3 days she
was my girlfriend.

I'm 20 years old right, and I got all this energy. Here I was on the
post with so many females all around...I thought I would go crazy. But
Elaine kept me head on the ground. Everyone knew we were a couple. You
saw her, and sooner or later you would see me. Females weren't allowed
in the barracks, and rules were made to be broken. I went from a 4 man
room to a single room, Elaine spent many nights with me.

Ok, since I wasn't from the South, I didn't know how these southern guys
acted, operated. One guy in my squad, Butler was a pain in my ass.
Elaine had a thing for him for alittle while, but she found out he
wwasnt shit, and she stuck by me. But that didn't stop Butler from
trying, and he always did.

I did my 3 years, and I left for New York City. After being home for 2
days, I went back down there to see her. Yep, she hooked up with Butler.
I told her give me 2 weeks with me in NYC, and she did. My family loved
the hell out of her. See, Elaine knew who I was, let me explain.

The Army does things to you. It...well, friends are friends. Soldiers
that are friends, that's a whole different subject. Put it this way. If
I borrowed 2pp dollars from one of my soldier friends in my Company,
they NEVER asked where is their money. You had my back, I got your back
DOUBLED. Anything you need, you got it. If I tell you to meet me
someplace in 15 minutes, best believe they were there 5 minutes ahead of
time. Need to borrow my car, sure. I don't care if you bought it back on
empty, and there was a full tank of gas when I gave it to you, that
doesn't matter. I GOT YOUR BACK.

Try finding friends like that here in NYC, or anywhere. We all don't
have good days, and you have to know when a person is having a bad day.
People I know here don't understand the iddea about good/bad dayys. Me,
I could blow up on you, and in the next 5 minutes come back and say I'm
sorry.

Which brings me back to Elaine. I miss her. Well its been over 30 years
since we last saw each other, but I miss her and the times we had. She
taught me how to have friends. She taught me how NOT to hold things
against people. She taught me how to be honest to myself.

When I went to South Carolina, I didn't fly, I took Grethound. On my
last trip down there, I sat next to this white girl. As we were coming
up on the entrance to this Horse Farm, she told me that she lived there,
it was her parents. The name of the farm...Chappell Farms.
--michaelchappell

I Don't Understand....

..why the hiring process is so hard for my employer. We need a deli
worker for the deli and they don't have to be experince either. We can
train who ever shows up. But what they did was wrong.

This young lady came in about 2 months ago looking for a job. We told
her to apply for the deli, and she was willing to give it a try. So,
when we tried to call her, the number went straight to voice mail and we
left a message. When black turned to blue we called her back about a
week agao and some one picked up the phone. Told her to come in, the
deli manager spoke with her. The store manager went to the owner and the
owner said that he doesn't want some one from the neighborhood to work
in the store. He also said this about relatives working together. But we
have a mother & daughter working, aunt and nephew working and 2 sisters
working here.

So what they did was this. They are trying to fire this guy that stock
the shelves in one of the isles, but since he is in The Union, its hard.
So they place him in the deli and told The Deli manager to ride his ass.
If he doesn't do what you tell him to do...3 write ups is grounds for
termination. That's how they roll. But the thing is, the guy has
experince working in a deli and he is a little rough around the edges
for now, but after 2 days he is up to par.

The 2 days ago, 3 young ladies came in looking for a job, 18 and 19
years old. Yesterday, the 18 yera old one was hired as a cashier and she
lives 2 blocks away. I think its fucked up, but what can I do.

Another thing is this. The Union was suppose to give us a raise in
September, but since the contarct is finalized, no raise yet. But these
assholes take out their union dues like clockwork every week. You better
believe I sent an email off to them asking what's the deal is. I never
did like Unions, it seems like they are on Management's side all the
time.
--michaelchappell

My Uncle Lawrence

Last April, my family threw me a 50th birthday party. A lot of my cousins, aunts and uncles were present. Most of my cousins I didn't even know cause that's how far removed I am at family gatherings. It all has something to do with my past. My family, they all have moved on from it, but I haven't. It shames me to even be around them, cause I know they know about my past. Even though that's behind me, it still bothers me. I had promised to be more into family gatherings, but I have yet kept my promises, its just me.

At my party, my Uncle Lawrence was there, he was suffering from cancer. He is no longer with us. About 3 months ago he passed away and I didn't even go to the services. So now my conscious is bothering me, and this is why.

My mother called me at work and told me that my Uncle left me 2 watches. I said okay, but I don't know when I will be able to come to her house, cause my work is tight right now, working on my days off, vacation too. She said she understands but she wanted me to know something about thew watches. My Uncle worked for and retired from New York City Transit. These watches, as my mother said, cause she checked, are worth a couple of thousand dollars... a piece. There is a big thing within his family. Like why did I get them left to me in his will. She explained what he told my Aunt, who told her.

He said that Michael isn't like any person that's in our entire family. Michael is his own person, his own world and cares about those who are in his world. Instead of everyone trying to make me be a part of their world, they should try to be a part of mine. He said that when I was young, a little boy, I was riding the train, and he was the conductor. I didn't see him. He said I had my nose deep into some books and magazines reading, not even paying attention to what was going on around me. He said that when he looked at me, people were looking at this young boy, sitting there reading a newspaper like he was grown. Other kids my age on the train were acting wild, but not me. Right then he knew there was something different about me. I don't remember that day. But I do remember saeeing him one time as a conductor and we had a long conversation too. When the train got to 180th Street in The Bronx, it was his last run, he gave me a ride home. I told my mother where I was at and she said she knew.

I remember my Uncle when I was coming up as being the photographer in the family. I saw his big fancy cameras, and I said that's what I want to do and be. When I entered High School, I went to The High School of Art & Design. My major was Photography and Motion Picture Design. First day of school I was told I need a camera for my 4 periods of photography. I don't know what I told my mother, but she bought me and Instamatic camera. Next day at school, everyone had 35mm cameras, talk about embarrassment. The next day I had a 35mm camera my Uncle Lawrence which I didn't know at the time, bought for me. I was really good at talking and developing my shots. Walt Frazier lived a cross the street from my school, and he use to practice in our gym. I went to school VERY early to take pictures of him, the janitor let me in. I showed him some of the prints and he bought about 30 of them from me, he paid BIG bucks for them too !!

I wanted more out of life so I dropped out of HS and joined The Army. That's when the detachment from family actually started. I somewhat miss and will miss my Uncle Lawrence, for real. Here's hoping where ver you're at is what you want it to be.

Bored...again.

Just had a convo with a customer. She has a 18 month old child, and she
said she left the baby's father cause she said she was in a dead end
relationship. Now, I don't understand that. Is it because I dontr have
any children, nor a girlfriend? I asked her, what did she expect from
him once she told him that she wqas with his child.

She said during the months that lead up to the birth, she knew that he
wasn't going to be around once the child was born. This conversation we
had, she told me, was a release for her. Even though the attitude that I
got from her was that 'all' men aren't shit, I listened and gave some
advice. First thing I asked her was why did she think that having a bay
by him would keep him around. She, like many others answered, cause she
thought it would bring them closer together. No, he drew the both of you
further apart.

Since you weren't living together, he found many of wxcuses to stay away
from you, and you found many ways to try to get him to your place. Even
marraige is a sure means of holding a relationship together and I think
having his baby was what cemeted him running out the door.

Yeah she asked me about my relationship status, kids, the whole nine. I
told her no girlfriend, wife or kids. Told her also that I like to be
able to come and go as I please, but not in the way that she is
thinking. I heard it all before, 'I'm not a commimnet type of guy', no,
I am that type of person that likes a long term relationship. But you
women, after you move in together with your man, ya'll tend to knock
having sex off the menu, like it doesn't mean much to you if you have or
don't have it.

'+h, that changes after you have a baby'. No it doesn't. I know woman
who went straight into fucking, not the baby's father, 3 weeks after
giving birth. I know of women, who right up to the 9 month were fucking,
and not the baby's father. I think its because once you have a man
underneath the same roof with you, its now, you have to provide and take
care of me. That comes without saying, but you don't quit your job and
put it all on yourself.

Not all women are like this I tell her, just some. When she left, she
gave me her number and told me to call her after work so we can discuss
this some more, yeah, right.
--michaelchappell

School Starts

So today is the first day of school, the rest of the week, noschool. Wht
type of madness is that? When I was coming up, school, first day was
the whole week. Guess times have changed.

I was wondering also, do these parents look at what their daughters are
wearing to school these days. Like today, she couldn't have been older
than 15 years old, but she dressed as if she was going to a club. I
guess again the parents bought the clothes for her, but then again. Kids
nowadays have a source of income which you wouldn't believe. It may have
come from that guy who was selling drugs during the summer and giving
her some of the money to carry packages for him. So she saved it up and
bought her own clothes. I don't know.

Some of the teachers came into the store yesterday. Most of them I
didn't recognize, because, I hate to say this, they gained weight. Some
even told me that they gained weight, but they all looked good. So what
you eat, you gain weight, what's the problem ?

One of the cashiers came to the counter and got some ht food, 8 dollars
worth, and walked away. The manager asked me did I put a sticker on it,
and I did. They sent her home yesterday. This morning, the owner
questioned me on what happened cause she told him that she told me that
she didn't have any money. She nvere mentioned anything to me. You come
you ask for food, I package it, price it, and hand it to you. You walk
away, what you do next is on you. I feel sorry for her now, cause they
are going to fire her. She cute, young, but cute and that's no excuse.
Maybe they will let her stay with warning.

I promised myself that this Fall I'm gonna start doing more in my fre
time. But most of the time, I too tired to do anything. Good news is
that my vacay starts next week, but I'm working 2 of the 7 days, they
asked me to, so I said okay.
--michaelchappell

Its Ben a Long Time....

Looks like the new tv shows coming on this Fall, will be decent. All I
know that it they make a movie of True Blood, the HBO series will go
downhill from there. So far, its good, decent story line(s). A lot of
things going on in one episode. NICE !!

Amother show, The Big C, is a funny show about Cancer. Go figure that
one out. Downloaded a good movie too, well a couple of them really.
One, My 5 Last Girlfriends..very funny. Another one, The Killer Inside
Me. This one VERY good.

--michaelchappell

SMH, SMH, SMH

Smacking my head... a lot of people on Twitter are using this
expression. I wonder why. I mean I know what it means and all, but this
expression is getting really fuckin' boring. A LOT of people are SMH. If
I were to use that, it would be this..SMFH. Don't see that expression
much.

On my 8 minute walk to work, I was thinking about something. If some one
was to lend me 1 million dollars, I could open my own business. Sure,
everyone would say the same thing too. But I would open it AFTER I
treated myself to some nice things...say about 100k worth of nice
things.

Received an email from Las Vegas, a job interview, with the possibility
of being hired right on the stop. All I have to do, if things don't work
out is pay my way back to NY. Really thinking about this one. I have til
September 15th to make up my mind. Funny thing is, I will be on vacay
during that time, so taking that trip jsut might happen.

To the woman who gave me her number yesterday. She told me she had
change it, so she gave me the new one. I don't remember you ever giving
me the old number. If this is your way of saying call me, ok. Been
trying to work up the nerve to ask for your number anyway.
--michaelchappell

What's Your Limit ?

What it all boils down to? Our bodies are a machine. I don't know if I
stated that right, so let me try that again. What's your limit?

Do you know that your mind will do things that your body says you can't?
Most people don't even get a chance to put this thru a test. I did, and
it freaked me out. I did something that I knew would and could hurt my
body, but my mind..my thinking told me to go ahead and do it. This
happened a while ago, but to this day, it still happens.

I've been working for like almost a month and a half without a day off.
At the end of the day I relax. I get home and my body just collaspes, I
fall asleep. After 2 hours I wake up and its like I slept for 8 hours. I
then go to bed at my normal, 9pm. I get some sleep, waking up at 1am to
go to the bathroom, and then go back to sleep. I then wake up again at
about 3am and that's when my day starts. At work, by 12 noon, I start
dragging my feet. But as soon as 2pm comes a round cause I'm about to
get off, I get a burst of energy. Strange.
--michaelchappell

'Don't Push Me Cause I'm Close to The Edge...

So this airline attendant lost it, no he completely lost it. But I know
how he feels, and most of us in the customer service field should too.

For those who don't know what I mean, picture this. A customer comes to
your county, and you have your back turned cause you're working on
smething else. Lets say that you're cytting vegetabkes. The customer
says, 'hey you', while snapping his fingers. Also he moitioning with his
hand like come here, very quickly. He tells you that he is in a hurry,
so don't get his sandwich order wrong. Happened to me.

First off, I'm pissed cause he snapped his fingers to get my attention.
What am I to you a dog? Then he states that I am about to get his order
wrong, which I don't. See, customers do this and this shit pisses me tha
fuck off. Its not his fault or yours, its the owner of the business. Let
me explain.

Since we are in hard times, and everyone is hungry for that dollar, all
businesses are trying to attract the most business, with making the most
profits for themselves. That saying that the cuatomer is always right
is...BULLSHIT !! Yeah, I said it, BULLSHIT. See, the owner will kiss
that customers ass so that that customer feels special. And once that
customer has it in his or her head that he 'is' special cause the owner
stated so, or the owners action did so, that cuatomer will puch it as
far as he can. But the owner isn't the 'front line soldier', we are,
customer service reps. No matter what we say, the owner will always
believe the customer or say some shit that the customer is having a bad
day.

That's shooting up in CT for example. You know what those bitches had
the nerve to say. That Black guy stated that the re were some racial
iisues going on in his workplace, but 'they' said that there was no
'wriiten' proof that there was. Yeah sure, like the owners were really
going to address that issue being that that guy was the only Black
person working there. People will ALWAYS say..'no there was nothing like
that going on here'. They won't believe his family cause his family said
that he WAS having those problems there, and this guy can't speak for
himself cause he's dead. Sometimes, just like the Flight Attendant, you
have to take matters in your own hands.

So in the long run. If you disrespect me when you come to my counter, I
will let you know in a clam voice that you can't and won't do that to
me. Okay..bye.
--michaelchappell

....Was a Good Day.

Yesterday morning, while walking in the store, Produce isle, found 5
dollars. The store was crowded too, but no one was in Produce Department
section. Not bad.

I heard some shit yesterday also. The cute co worker of mine, had a baby
shower, I was invited. But I didn't go because I'm working on almost a
whole month with out a day off. I wqsnt taking a chance on going, and
then over sleeping. That's just me, how I am. At work people were sayig,
asking how come I wasn't there. Well I have a rule that I go by, and
will continue to always go by.

The woman is pretty who is pregnant, she's all that, Dominican have you.
I would have loved to have 'gotten' with her so to speak. But as always,
I'm not that attractive I guest, or I don't have that look she is
looking for in a man, so she turn me down and away. But we are friends.
So when she got pregnant, I was shocked, even more so when I found out
by who. This guy, also a co worker, with whom I'm very cool with is the
father. But get this. He is married, but not with his wife with 2 kids
by her, plus he has another 2 kids by another woman.

See when they got together it was all good, until he got in a car
accident. The woman whom he was with, not the pregnant woman, the one
who he is cheating with, went to the hospital to make sure he was ok.
The hospital gave her all his personal belongings. So, she went thru his
phone and saw the pregnant womans emails, and texts. She copied the
number down, and called her. She told her who she was and what was going
on between them.

Pregnant woman says she is gonna make his life a living hell, moves in
with him, seperate bedrooms, no sex. He just pays he no attention,
brings another woman home. She gets upset and moves back in with her
mother, whom says she didn't want her to have the baby in the first
place. Kind of confusing, but its not. He comes by the baby shower,
drops off one of his kids, and leaves.

I'm like, why did you have this baby, thinking its gonna be different
for you, he won't cheat on you ? She gave up going to school, in her 3rd
year at college, to have a child by a man who has children all over the
place. I don't understand some females. I mean, open ya fuckin' eyes
sometimes. She's a beautiful woman, easy on the eyes, fun.

So I'm asking myself, with all my other co workers telling me, that she
was asking for me, why? I call her and tell her the deal. If we had
slept together just once, I would have shown up at your shower, but we
didn't. You know I have feeling for you, wanting to sleep with you, but
you turned me down, its okay. But don't expect me to be arouund you when
you turn me down. Its okay cause we work together, but outside the
workplace is a different story. See, I would have never got you pregnant
for many reasons. You're young, in school and you have your whole life
ahead of you. I wouldn't want to put that burden on you, tying you down
with a child. I would want you to be able to be free to come and go any
place in the owrold at a minutes notice. You can't do that now. Oh, you
may say you can, but you can't. You have to find a baby sitter, you have
to think about you kid. You just can't come and go as you want to.

I've notice something though. It seems that once you have a child,
things just stop, and other thinhgs start to happen. One, you can't just
hang out all night, and go staright to work any more, not saying you may
want to, but that does happen sometimes. And at your age, you should be
able to do that. Another thing is, even though you're gaing experience
as being a new mother with a child, you're also losing experince as
being a young adult. Somethings you need to experience being without a
child.

--michaelchappell

Back in The Late 80's....

...way back then, I got into...lets just say thingd that were happening
then. The whole scene. Drugs. I'm not ashame, and I'm not boasting
either, I sold and used...used more than I sold. This one Dominican guy,
I sold for, it was after a night of spending about 1,100 dollars No
hookers or any guys, just me alone. After spending my last 50, he made
me an offer. He said 'you work for me?', and I said sure.

For every 5 dollars, I made 1 dollar. I know that now that doesn't seem
like a lot, but back then it was. The color was purple tops. What was
different than any other colors that was out there, cause there was
about 7 others, Black, Orange, Red, Yellow, Pink, Grey, theose were ran
by the Dominicans. And Blue and White by the pueto Ricans..they all had
a crew. Lookouts, steerers, Captains, Luetinants and sellers, all were
on a salary, except for the seller he got a dollar a cap. Like I said,
what was different was that it was just me, no one else.

So the guy I was working for had a tire repair shop, and he had a
partner in the shop who would hand me off the work. A bundle was 25
tops. A Package was 50 bundles. First night, I was moving 25 bundles,
do the math. And since I was..using also, I got a stash for my personal
use. I would drop the money off and re up at this Dominican Resturant 2
blocks away. Everything was cool.

Fast forward now to this present day. My rhousemate tells me her father
is visiting fron DR, she should me a picture, same guy I worked for. 1
week ago he arrived. Today when I got home, no one was there wxcept him,
and we had a talk. He thanked me for all the work I put in for him.
Showed me pictures and videos of his house and 3 farms. He said with the
work I did for him he invest it all on all of this. I have some of that
money in a seperate account in my moms name with me having access to in
case anything happens. Over the years it has grown, a retirment fund so
to speak. He asked me, so I told him what I did with my money.

After out talk, he told me if ever want to come to DR, call him and let
him know. He has a place for me to stay and a job, legal to do if I
want. He wants to open a computer shop, right up my alley.
--michaelchappell

Something To Think About.

People come and go in our life every single day. Some die, and some just
move away.There are times when a special some one enters your life, and
then there gone. Gone on to another state, country, or they just pass
away. When these people just decide to just up and leave, you question
why? You do and say anything and everything to keep them in your life,
your exsistence, but they want to move. This is one of those times.

She started as a cashier, and just been in this country for about 8
months or so. I can pronounce her name, but she is from the Phillipines.
Cute, pretty, nice complexion, friendly and she knows how to ride a
skateboard. When we first talked, I asked her her age, and did she have
a boyfriend. She told me that he broke up with her right before she came
to this country. She also stated that she wanted to meet people, she
wanted a boyfriend.

Now, even though she is 22 years old, and that's too young for me, I
thought about it. It wouldn't be fair to her, so I never acted on it.
One of those social networking sites, she placed me as a friend, but all
I did was talk to her at the store. One of the guys at the store, was
interested in ber, then he told me that she was going to San Fransico.

She gave the store her 2 weeks notice. I told her before she left, that
she should give me her cell phone number. She didn't want to at first,
then she said she would. But, she never did. The guy at the store who
was talking to her tols me this...

She had ran away from home to SF, to be with some guy she met online. I
am hoping everything is ok with her now.
--michaelchappell

Its Friday

All I need is for a certain 'special' some one to give me a call, and I will come running. No, she has to come pick me up, LOL. I promise I will have on nothing but shorts a shirt, and flip flops. Lights out, nice and cool. I wanna hear that special sound you make. I wanna feel that special move you make. For me, its been a looong time, no lie. I'm off Saturday, hook a brudda up, text, don't call........waitin'

A Few Friends

Its Hotter Than a Fuck...How Hot Is That.?

On onw of the hotttest days so far this summer, I come home ro a
blazing, steamy hot ass apartment. I looked, and the key word here is
'looked'. I looked forwatd to jumoping in the shower, washing the sweat
from the 8 minute walk from work off. The, with only my towel wrapped
around me, and still half way dried off, turn on my fan, turn on tv,
turn on dvd, and last episode 8 of the final season of lost. But
nooooooo, 15 minutes into the show, the tv flickered off, and then back
on in less than a second. Oh shit, this isn't a good sign.

I marked it off as a power surge cause its hot, but into the 9 episode,
the tv flick again..off, and STAYED THAT FUCKIN' WAY!!! WHAT THE FLYING
FUCK is going on? I wasn't going downstairs to talk to the owner of the
house about this shit, not my responsibility, nope its not. My house
mate, she did. The son came upstairs, looked at the breaker box, and
told us, he has to get the tools will be out of power for an hour. But
he did come back in 20 minutes, worked for 45 minutes and the lights
came back on. No sooner than my house mate's aunt was sweeping up the
mess, the FUCKIN' LIGHTS GOES OUT AGAIN. Double fuck.

He has been working on it now for an hour and now he is off to some God
dmaned store for parts. See, I know what's going on. Whwen I walked into
the house, I could here the fuckers downstairs in the basement, power
saws, drills, whatever the fuck they had going, was going full blaze.

So, when I went upstairs, I had a strange feeling some dumb shit was
going down, and it sis. My house mate showed me the power bill. It went
from 60 to 90 to 150 dollars a month. Some one is draining our power and
using it dor themselves. The sneaky bastards !!

She, my housemnate wants me to talk with the owner, nope, not gonna do
it. Like I said, no me problemo. All I know is that I have a hand
cranked radio, a full charge in both my laptops, internet on my
Sidekick...guess I will be calling it an early night. Tonight, I guess I
will be showering in the dark.

I hate shit like this...for real.
--michaelchappell

The Big Spill

About a week ago, I sent out my resume to about 15 different companies.
I want to help clean up this mess on our beaches...but get paid for it.
Received 5 emails, and 3 phone calls from some of the companies. I think
2 of them, I didn't even apply for, but here is how this job works.

Pay is anywhere from 300 to 400 a day, yep, that's right, A DAY. First
there is a weeks worth of training, you have to have your certificates
in order. If you don't have any, that's what the training is for. There
are 3 different locations you can work. One, on the beach. 2, collecting
what you clean up from on the beach. 3, processing what you pick up.

From what I gather, turnover rate is crazy high, meaning, people work
for about 4 to 6 weeks, get a little bit of pocket money, and then quit.
I was told that I could make supervisor in about 2 months and then the
pay is about 700 a week. 110 dollars out of your check a week goes
towards you room, which you share in a 2 bed hotel room, all meals and
use of the facilities. Room service is encluded, 3 meals and 2 snacks a
day. The good part is that no taxes are taking out of your pay, all
straight pay. They han d you a check and a truck is right there to cash
it.

I spoke with some of my cio workers and they said its not worth it cause
your health could be damaged cause of the oil. Hell, my LIFE could be
over just wwlaking across a street here in NY. I'm thinking about going
down there and giving it a shot for 6 months no matter what. They pay
for your ticket, round trip and supply you clothing also.
--michaelchappell

Third Ave El (Elevated Train)

In the 1960's, the remaining service of the Third Ave El was renamed the 8 (or #8). The final portion of the line that ran from East 149th Street in the Bronx to Gun Hill Road closed in April, 1973.

On April 29, 1973, the Bx 55 Limited bus route replaced the Bronx's Third Avenue El. It only made the stops of the former rail line. The Bx 55 was one of the first bus routes in the city to have free transfers with the subway at the Third Ave-149th Street and Gun Hill Road White Plains Road IRT stations.

June 1st 2010

Today at work, I thought about some things. Mainly, I wanted to just get
up and go. Don't know where, but just go.

Sometimes, when you are stuck in a rut, the only way to get out of it
without any help, is own your own. I have felt like this before, and I
did nothing about it. The feeling pasted after about 2 or 3 days, so it
was no biggie. But this time its different, feels different. I want to
go somewhere, start over, fresh. I know, I know. I'm 50 years old,
forget about that starting over fresh madness. But that's what I feel. I
mean, go some where where no one knows me.

I was thinking about the mid west, but haven't picked a city or a state.
Gonna think about it some more, stay tuned.
--michaelchappell

Another co worker, we call her Yummy.
--michaelchappell

WTF ??!!

What the fuck, do I look spanish or something. But even if I do, what's
make you think I speak spanish? Customers come to the counter, trying to
order in spanish and I hush them up right away.

Black people in the counrty went through hell, and I be damned if I'm
gonna let you lower my people, my ittlengience to that of an illegal
alien. One who snuck his ass into this country and have to pay off a
person some stupid ass price.

How dare you 'think' I'm spanish, you stupid motherfucker !!!
--michaelchappell

Some Issues Need to Be Addressed

I know some men of today, can be really fucked uped. I mean, some of you
guys out there aren't stepping up to the plate. You're giving like all
guys no matter what, a bad name. Not owning up to your responsbilities,
taking care of you children. I don't hold it against you, cause its not
all your fault, and I will address that later on too. But back to you so
called fathers...NOT. At best, you're daddies, and at least sperm
donors, a quote, good fuck, unquote gone wrong. A 'too fucked up on
whatever I had to drink at the club, gave you some ass without a condom,
gonna make you a man, a baby father', type fuck.

Guys, when you were out there 'grinding', no wait...'scrambling'. Cause
guys with REAL jobs grind motherfucker!! When you were out there
scrambling, and thought you were making some real money, dick always got
that itch, somewhere on some one to spend some money on. But when your
ass got busted and sent to jail, you figure you could just move on, no
you can't, you have a kid out there. And, its not those that were just
scrambling, even those who were and are working real jobs. Don't be
afraid to admit to a women that you can really afford to have a baby
right now. Sorry, I would choose abortion over taking care of a person
for LIFE !!. But that's just me.

Again, I say, this isn't all your fault, cause it takes 2 to play this
game.
--michaelchappell

http://twitpic.com/1nocck
--michaelchappell

Lets Just Say

Lets just say...you want to retire early, so what do you do. First get a
good paying job, like working for the state. Buy that paper, The Chief,
plenty of state jobs, test in there. Or, any good paying city job.

After your probation period is over, move back in with family, save on
rent and food. Work CRAZY overtime, and bank all of it. I said ALL of
it. After 6 months, apply for a loan at bank, nothing big. Better yet,
have your money saved in a Crdeit Union. When you receive the loan, it
will be payrolled deducted, so you won't miss it, plus you're still
doing crazy overtime. After loan is paid back, apply for another loan,
this time bigger. Furst laon will be about 1k, so, second can go up to
5k. Pay that back as soon as you can with your overtime to present week
or bi weekly, plus its being payrolled deducted too. When loan is all
paid off, look to invest in a company that just coming out, IPO, intial
Public Offering.

On your principle, keep that in, and every 90 tp 100 days take out what
you earned and put that into a saving account, a different one and NEVER
touch it !!

Do this for about 20, 25 years and take a look at you account. If you
started when you were 20 years old you can retire at age of 62.
--michaelchappell

Birthday 2ZMorrow

Oh God, tomorrow is the big day...5-0 !!! That day will be okay, its the
one after I'm worried about.

I always felt comfortable with the way I am. No matter what I've been
through, I've accepted it as fate, dealt with it and moved on. So why am
I getting so concerned with the way that my family sees me now. Is it
because damned near all my cousins will be there? I think that's what it
is. It never concerned me before, until now.

Or, maybe, its because of what I think I have not yet accomplished. I
take my days one at a time. Any day above ground and not in jail is a
good day to me. But others don't see it as I do, or do they. To be
honest, I never expected to lived this long. I mean the average age for
the Black man to live is to the age of 28. Either dead or in jail, as
they say. So, I'm grateful as all hell for neither of the two.

But this party/get together has me really bugging out. One thing is that
I was so happy that I posted it on Facebook. I then received an ass
chewing from my mother claiming its suppose to be all family. Why can't
I have my friends there, huh, why? For one she said my sister's
apartment isn't all that big. Its not like I was inviting a million
people, maybe 5, 6 people. So that ass chewing threw a wet blanket on my
fire..

Saturday, I'm going though, have to, but left up to me, I wouldn't.
--michaelchappell