I Know It's Been a Good Long While, and...

...ya know what, I could even care less. Well, I do care. It's just been I've been kind of busy.

Nothing to say right about now, but I will have something to say once I check out what it happening after this weekend,. More or less it will be Monday. Until then..

Saturday..2:07am, and...

..I have a little something to get off my chest.

I've been meaning to get back here, you just don't know how many days I have tried. But you know what? I told myself, why does it matter, and will it matter. Then, in the next breath, I said it DOES matter.

First things first. Online dating..yada, yada, yada..right? Well, you know me. It's like that song...'looking for love in all the wrong places'. Yep, I keep dipping my toe into the pool. Still testing the waters. I don't know if I mention this woman I am currently seeing..if you can call it that. She lives in NC, but travels back and forth to an area around where I live at. When she is in town, her town she is visiting, I go there and stay the night with her. I have to book a hotel room, pay for meals...think of something to do other than just taking her to bed. She has no problem with the latter point. In fact, she told me she doesn't have to be doing anything when she comes and visit, just staying in the room is good enough for her. But she, as of 4 days ago, mention the L word. Told me she doesn't know what has come over her, and why she is feeling this way so late in her life. She is 62 years old...Church going woman. So, you know what was said next. 'If we are to live together, I don't believe in shacking up, it's against God's Law. You may have to just put a ring on my finger'.  But what if I move into your home, have my own room, a Man Cave so to speak, and I pay you 'rent', will that work? She said it would. Now all she has to do is find a 2 or 3 bedroom home in NC for the both of us, and I will be down a month after she moves in.

Important stuff. It amazes me..people aren't aware of certain issues that are happening in today's world. Ebola. People this is some scary shit, and some people, most people don't know shit about what is going on. It's not like...see, it's like this and this is the only way I know how to explain it. IF YOU DON'T READ or WATCH THE NEWS, YOU WON'T KNOW ABOUT SHIT THAT IS IMPORTANT and AFFECTS YOU & YOURS!! But I guess slowly but surely they will wake up to the fact NOW. It's in NYC & NJ. Soon to be all over the United States. If you don't think so, think of this as a VERY BAD cold. You know how colds spread right? Well with this..I don't think NOBODY knows how this spreads. Media, Doctors, Mayors and I don't know if The President said anything but... All those other Talking Heads say that you CAN'T get it this way, you CAN'T get it that way. But..people are getting it.

Doctor flew in from somewhere in the infected area in Africa, was treating the infected there. Came into JFK airport, was screened, but didn't have a fever, so they let him right on through. Never mind that he WAS in the infected area..oh if you don't have a fever, high temperature, ya good to go, come on in!! He went jogging, rode in a cab, went bowling and...this is what blows my mind, rode the A train, NYC subway system. THAT'S it, NYC is doomed. Hundreds of thousands in not at least 1 million people ride the train during the weekday. When the train goes underground, those tunnels are nothing but a clear passage of travel for whatever the fuck is in the air. At first this shit was in Texas, now it has made it's way to the East Coast, NYC and NJ I heard on the radio that The CDC has 60 days to contain this, if not, after that..10,000 people a week will die.

....So, Don't Even Try to Judge Me...

Had an eye surgery today. Left eye in the corner. Been there so long...since when(?)... I can't even to begin to figure it out. Gonna talk about THIS morning cause it's the evening now, so when you read this...cause I get confused sometimes too, having to play 'Mr Time Zone & CLOCK Wizard. As I stated before, right now, all I acknowledge is Day & MFin' Night..simple, much easier. Day time stuff is during the day time, and night time..well you get what I'm saying. This posting should be great on so many reasons, again..I just can't make you or anyone see me, so I gonna rite it..no TYPO Bitch!!

Hospitals, not clinics, those I can deal with. But hospitals...Being a former State Worker, I KNOW. In hospitals I know may way a round by myself, just walk fast and read far ahead, other words stay focus. That I did. Asked questions to get to certain elevators, I'm where I'm suppose to be at least, 25 minutes early. Male & female in reception cubicle, I shit you not..acknowledge me, eye contact..and went back to talking for 27 seconds. Count that off RIGHT now in your head or at loud. YEAH, that long. Receptions gets a -25 points, straight up. Inner demon talk to bark, but I held it in, took a seat afterwards, was seen in 10 minutes.

Small enclosure, TPRW, led to another room, smallish like enclosure with privacy curtains. standard pre-op room, On chair strip to underwear, everything in bag..nothing else...for half an hour. HMIC OR NUR, no shit, came in questions, questions I've been asked, what now at least 3 times already, gave same 3 timed answers. She left, and I laid in the bed with an IV in my arm, that way freaking me out. The needle was inside of my hand was pitching me from the inside. This feeling, I have never felt before. I can feel it, would feel better to just scratch with my right hand..but WAIT..it's itching, scratching from THE FREAKING INSIDE!! Split second thing stopped the reflex because if I did that, who knows what damage it can do from the inside. Was almost an hour or a little over, can;t tell was roo focus on the IV drip,

Nurse comes in, same questions. She gave me a hook up. Yep. EGK to the chest which are like freezing ice cold, hooked up the main line to IV that supplies the ByeBye Juice and the line of oxygen to the nose. I think I have small ears, or she didn't know how to adjust it. Four tries later she gets it. One at a time, both doctors came in and spoke with me. the HMIC OR DOC. marked the eye operated on, sign a chart and was outtie. Nurse came in with a Med Pack..The Bye Bye, screwed it in and was talking. Wheeled out of the Pte-OR into Surgical. Banged into the door. Head Doc said hello again...AND I was waking up. Because that's what I remembered. And here is what I came up with...

..TBC

My First Summer In My New City...Labor Day

I really thought, and now I believe, that time passes you by in a blink of an eye. I asked myself, where had this Summer went.I did none of the things I'm use to doing when I lived in The Bronx. Things like bike riding, going to free outdoor concerts. One thing stayed the same though, I worked.

Sure, I got the chance to meet new people, mostly females. But that is just the way I am. I also got the chance to visit other large cities North of New York City, like Syracuse. I spent the better part of the day in a Mall with a woman I met online and had a very nice time. We both didn't want the fun day to end, so we...well, you know. But what made her exciting and fun to be around was that she is exactly like me...in a way. Difference between her and I mainly is that she is retired and has a lot of free time on her hands which she spends trying to get reaquainted with her 2 grown daughters, which left no time for us to be really together. I was disappointed in that sense, but haven't and won't say nothing about that because family is family. She called me one day while leaving one city, going back home. Mind you its a 4 hour drive o her daughters home. She was crying because of what her daughter said to her. She said that she was a mother that made no time for her as a child, and now as an adult, she thinks she can just come back into her life and make changes, and try to rule her life as a 'Mother'. The only thing I can say after 15 minutes of straight listening without interrupting her was..'Family is Family' Oh well.

Lost track of time, really I did. Yesterday was the unofficial last day of Summer being it was Labor day. I HAD to get to the beach NOW. I don't own a car and the beach isn't that far away, I can get there by bus, but... All I wanted to do was get in the water for 15 minutes. A friend stopped what she was doing, picked me up and waiting until I was finished and then drove me back home. This friend, she is a beauty and she knows what I am about and want s to..like really see what it is about me first hand. But, she has a man, who she says she is comfortable with. Didn't say anything about marriage or love either. She says she can only be around me when other people are..not because of me, but it's her. She said she doesn't trust herself. I questioned that, but I leave it alone now.

Well, here is to what Winter brings. Good bye Summer.

One Thing My Mother Told Me...

...'that people, and even you and me, are full of shit. So what you do is wipe your ass, and flush that tissue down the toilet.'

I understood what she meant, and I tried that, but being the person I am...I can't flush. For example...

This woman whom I am paying rent to living in her house. Regardless of what she wants from me, I am a tenant, and I don't want to be involved with her. Though, I have thought about her being 'there' anytime I want 'some', no, I don't want to cross that line. Last night she said she wants to take me to breakfast, okay. This morning, she asked me did I feed her fish. Do I ever feed your fish? I ask myself that question, out loud I said 'nope'. She exhaled deeply and told me that isn't what I asked you. She then said, 'what I said will you PLEASE feed the fish'. One, they are your fish and your responsibility. Two, it's not like that between you and me. And three.

I see how when people...White people come to your door, you get this Uncle Tom sort of way of speaking. I can tell when you're on the phone with someone who is Black, or if it's someone who is White you're talking to. It seems you're inflexion, your voice changes by the color of the skin of the person you are talking to. Hey, but that is just you. My tone, my way of speaking is for every human. If you talk to me real shitty, I will talk to you real shitty in return. I am not fake with anything I do, I don't have time for being fake and being fake is a waste of time.

I didn't go to breakfast with her, she left and got into her car.

Sooooo..Let's See...

I have a Breakfast Buddy, she is 42 years old, mother of 5..nice looking pleasing on the eyes. Breakfast si twice a week with her on me. I don't ask her to pay because she is on P.A. and I know times can be hard. But she just fucked my head all up. Okay, she knows the place where she wants to eat, but doesn't want to get out of the car. We been there before to sit down and eat. She wants grits, but this place doesn't serve grits..she starts yelling at me. Says it's not at me...mind you we are in her car, says it;s about the place. She REALLY loses it in the car. So, I say, forget it, breakfast is over. She says but she is really hungry. I told her, she can eat mayo sandwiches for breakfast for all I car, I get out the car and start walking...all the way home. All the while she is following me asking, begging me to get in the car. I ignore her all the way home. She goes home and calls me, saying her computer isn't working. Told her that her free days are over, it's gonna cost her money to get it fix. She starts crying on the phone, I hang up.

When some one treats you nice, you should really appreciate it no matter what the FUCK else is going on inside of you fucked up head. I didn't cause whatever fucking trouble you have in your life. It's those fucked up boys, guys, men you're dealing with who aren't doing nothing in their lives who treat you like a trick. If that's what you're use to, you won't get that from me, I can and will move on.

I work with a company who operates within another company. They came to me with some extra work for one day. Operate a cash register at an Air Show. I had fun. The Manager came to me and said he wants me in Pennsylvania with them for a week, big event going on. He needs 2 other people who I can choose who I will be accountable for. What he is paying in CASH alone is CRAZY, plus..hotel room by yourself with room service, and a minimum of $100 a day in tips. One weeks of work, 8 to 9 hours a day..stand to make $1,500 CASH!! I ask to female friends who aren't working do they want to give it a shot, you know what they said? Asked all these questions about this and that. What the deal is..it's the weekend after the checks arrive..disability, retirements, P.A., and they want to catch that cash flow and I CALLED them on it. They waiting around for pennies, when there are TRUE DOLLARS to be made!! So I told them, the both of them..if you don't do this, I won't answer you calls when you call, nor texts. If we pass in the street, I WILL always have something to do and be on my way about it.

I'm not trying to make anyone like I am, never that, cause they can't hand. I am a BEAST when it come to work and what I do. I worked 14 and a half hours, when home, stayed up and did another job for a friend cause he was short a worker and did that for another 12 hours. It wasn't about the money. It was about dealing and serving with the public. It;s a good feeling when you're working one venue and a customer sees you at another venue and they say, 'you're all over the place working'.  When I was in New York City working, countless of times I've overheard customers say..' the food MUST be good here, I see THAT guy working EVERYWHERE', then they get in the long line. You have to LOVE dealing with people and food, but a job is a job.

What bothers me most.. I see the good in people, but if you're use to eating bones, you won't know what to do with meat when it's in your face.

Sh*t I've Notice

After a while, no matter what the color of your skin is...enough is enough.

This madness that is happening in Missouri, yes because it IS really madness. It just has to stop. It has to stop before it REALLY gets out of hand. People are just now noticing how our police have been gearing up, in uniform, as if they are invading a small country. But I'm thinking outside the box...

It all starts with our Armed Forces, mainly The Army & The Marines. I had served, and I tell you there is nothing else like EVER in the world. Wait, I think going to war, fighting, a fire fight...well, that is the ultimate feeling. Okay, now take that feeling, put it in a bottle. Serve your time, and then be told that you're no longer needed in The Armed Forces. You are then given a Military Honorable Discharge. If, upon being discharge you just happen to take the Police Officer test in ANY state, most likely you will enter Law Enforcement. NOW...OPEN that BOTTLE. You say, 'how, what?' Your uniform is that of a Army, and your enemy is any American Citizen, whether they are involved in the disturbance or not. Take to mind..'Kill them all, let God sort them out.'

A First

Audio recording and upload >>

Stuff Comes To Me In The Shower...

...it's like my mind just opens up to the first shower of the day and all these thoughts come to me.

I met this nice young woman, age 42 online. We decided to meet after 2 days over breakfast. She told me that she was starting a new job in a couple of days. She owns a car, but with money so short, or none at all, she needs $10 a day to travel to and from her job. So I gave her enough for 3 days of travel. We talked over breakfast. She was seeing this guy who owns his own business, a telephone store. He is single and taking care of his teen age children, 2 of them. She is upset because he has no time for her, but... She slept with him on the first day of meeting him. Over breakfast she told me in passing that she might be pregnant. I heard that come out of her mouth, but I didn't really pay it no mind. But I did say, ' so, you slept with him using no protection?', I KNOW I did say this to her. I took it for that she took a risk, and that..hey who hasn't had unprotected sex and just got lucky by not getting any diseases, or pregnant? I know I have, so it was no biggie. I went to her house on Sunday and she told me she was pregnant. I told her that I couldn't see her anymore and she wanted to know why.

It seems that she has no problem with being with me while she is carrying another man's child. In fact when I asked her was she going to tell him, she said no. I took it for that she was going to terminate the pregnancy, which she isn't. She also told me that there are 2 guys who 'want to be' the daddy. WTFF!!???? This woman is VERY good looking, but has the intelligence of a door knob. Told her she should tell him, but she said no. She already has 4 children, one in jail and the youngest is 14 a girl. One, a 17 year old girl I've met... Let's just say she is already FUCKING. How I know? Her ass was propped on her mother's bed, turned to one side in skin tight yoga pants just showing me all of her ass and smiling at me in a way that...well you know. Mother paid it no mind. But that is how she is raising her child, it isn't mine's. Which brings me to...

Not all women are like this. I don't search out for women like this, but I have met them online and in passing in the street, just hello. But once I get them into conversation, it seems like they are all the same. I have no problem with a woman who has multiple sex partners, it's how she manages her business. Being reckless leaves to a lot of children with different fathers and one day catching something there isn't a cure for. Then there are the women that are waiting on God to send them the right man, or that they are waiting on the right man, or..not having sex again until they are married but already have 3 or more children. Who the fuck are they fooling?

So when I...'Hello, my name is Michael, wanna fuck?', when I say that to them, it's because you earned that. Look how your life is. I mean, my life isn't that much better, but I do shower, I do care how I look when I leave the house. I do know how to talk to people when I want something in the store. I know how to talk to a waiter or waitress when I am ordering. It embarasses me when women don't know how to speak when ordering their food. It's like they have no manners at all. The next time that happens, I'm just getting up and walk out and take them to a fast food place because that is just what they type of manners they have calls for.

I don't expect every woman's home to be that of The Lifestyles of The Rich & Famous either. But you could at least clean that pig sty up before I come...well a little bit. I should have known what to expect when there were a swarm of flies...so dark around her house...that I thought that there was dead BODIES, more than one, buried in the back yard. Oh, it;s not, you're not a pretty picture..when you just get out of bed and you KNOW you invited me over and when you answer the door, your breath is kickin like Bruce Lee. Young adult son, 24 years old, giving me Murder One looks..I ask him 'what?', he say nothing. Surprised him that I question what the fuck was he looking at me like that for.

I mentioned all of this because it's not only happens once but MANY of times. Like I said, I meet these women in passing, they sometimes stop me and say hello, or I say hello in passing and it goes on from there.  But like I said, the ones who are waiting on the right man, they have been burned by male bums. No jobs, but on 'their grind'. They want love, but will settle with a man who has too many 'baby momas', like its a stroke of achievement. I honestly think these women think that since these guys have all these kids, there MUST be something GOOD about him. But when he gets caught, the woman wants to be up on the 'side piece'. Hell all of you are Side Pieces. The women, that do have their acts together are so use to being by themselves and are so picky in the man they want, which tells me that they want a man with money cause they just want an extra wallet. They have no problem in being your woman so to speak...so as long you keep them in the style and maintain their ways of looking. Oh yeah, I know the game, see it all the time.

But I'm not hating. I'm observing and stating facts. But one thing for sure about me... I work, I am clean, I have manners...and I CARE about ME!!

They Say That There Is No 'I' in Team, So Why...

...so, why do some people 'assume' that you will go along with something, that isn't voted on as a whole. Listen, I am a dedicated 'Foodie', meaning..working with food is my WORLD. I believe in putting out a great product, making deadlines happen and avoiding them also from having to have one. As long as I been in this business, I can see projected problems that CAN arise. My best tools in the kitchen are my ears. My knife skills are honed, and are improving with every single day I work in a kitchen. I am always learning, there isn't anything from anyone that I WON'T take advice from...so...

...'bot-for-nothing', going to a Lil Wayne concert isn't a priority for me. Though I would like to go...but I be damned if I'm going to give up my day off and bust my ass so that my teammates can take off on a Friday and go to a concert. Our setup now, in THIS kitchen is new. We are STILL ironing out the kinks, trying to get shit right. Lil 'Payne' isn't helping me NONE in doing this and besides, none of my teammates asked me if I wanted to hang with them. But me being me, I will go along with what 'they' want to do. I heard things like..'I'm giving up my whole Summer working', 'I do have a life'...wake tha FUCK UP PEOPLE!! Welcome to the world of Food Service!! I then volunteered to do the driving for them so that they can get fucked up as much as they like. Was told cell phone reception was bad there at the concert venue. So I said buy some walkie talkies from Radio Shack, they're cheap. I will wait outside and wait for you call to come around and pick you up. I didn't get a positive response to that.

This field takes a lot out of you. Most people see the TV shows on TV and say they want to do this. But they don't know about...the long hours, the missing of family get togethers, the cut fingers and burned limbs involved. I do and I love this shit. Want to know what the best feeling is? Putting in a 12 hour work day that is so busy that the time flies by and you STILL feel like you can go for another 3 or 4 hours. Sometimes that shit feels better than bustin' a nut...no, for real. It feels go after a shift that you and your teammates KICK ASS in the kitchen that shift. That you accomplished everything you set out to do, and DONE IT!! That sometimes you get to go home an extra half an hour early, but most times you stay 2 hours late. That when people step into your kitchen and see what you are doing for so many people and you're doing it with just four people...and they are amazed. This is the Life of a Foodie.

Tuesday...

...starts off just great. I am awaken by some woman screaming my name, my housemate.

She stuck her head into my room and notice I was sleeping with an erection. Apparently, she is turned on by this. I wake up like the house is on fire, reading to throw on some pants and dash. She says she was waking me up to tell me she is leaving for work. Since when, after 3 months of me being in your house, that you have to need to tell me while I am sleep, that you are leaving for work. I told her, sleepily, that we have to have a talk tomorrow morning, cause that will be the next time I will see her.

So, I have a breakfast date this coming Sunday at Denny's. I am so amazed at this place. The amount of food they give you for such a low price. But what really amazes me is that no Black people go there to eat. Some work in the kitchen and do the cooking, but none actually, as far as I have seen, have sat down and eat there since I've been in there to eat while I was there. Well, she is 25 years old and had to get permission from her parents, ( I should back out now, right?). I met her parents. Father looked me up and down and gave me that 'father look'. Her mother LOVES me, after I told her who I was and what I am about. I let both of them know that I won't do anything to harm or shame her family name. That sex isn't really on my mind with her, because, what does she really know. Which, she really knows nothing.

I met her walking to the store. We both turned around to see if we were looking back at each other. We started talking ans she walked back to the store with me. After I did my thing, she told me she wanted to hang out with me, so I said breakfast. Neither one of us are driving, so we are busing it. I told her father this, and he offered me his car. I told him no, cause I want to see how on time his daughter will be for breakfast and he laughed. Next Tuesday I am invited to the house for dinner.

See... the perfect, or close to perfect woman for me is... 36 years old, single, no children...PERIOD!! But in today day and age, where will I find a woman like that. I know they are out there, but some have been burned by men that whenever you step to one to JUST talk to, I can tell what her past relationships have been like. They don't know how to let that hurt go from their previous relationship. I know it's hard, but you DO have to move on. Not only that, if you're looking or just want another relationship, they have to make themselves emotionally and mentally available. So far, like I said..nix, nien, nada have come before me, nor have I met.

Not only that, but I have been working some crazy hours and I'm sorry, my rest & sleep comes way before you're bored and want some company. Okay, if you want to go out and doing something, or have something planned at home... Don't tell me to come over and I have to plan the evening or the day, when I am on just 4 hours of sleep. Because, when I do get a chance to sit down, my eyes will close and it's a wrap. I notice that a lot of men here DON"T WON"T work, so they keep those 'hustling' hours. Sleep almost all day, wake up at 3pm, get ready to leave at 6pm and are up all night to about 5am...for WHAT??!! It's crazy.

I have no problem meeting women, it's just in me. I will go up and just talk...about anything. But it's from the heart. I talk about what is on my mind, curiously wanting to know more about her. Most will give me their number, but I dont talk in the phone, rather be face to face with you. Most have a car, so I say we can plan something, an outing to some where. I tell them, gas and food, everything is on me. And most can't get away because, no babysitter or 'other' commitments at home. So what they really want to do is hang out where I live, in my room. But I tell them, I rent a room and that's all I am accountable for in this woman's home. What goes on behind my door is my business. We can watch movies, get some take out and you can even spend the night with NO sex involved, but.. If you want something to happen you will let me know. Like I said, they have children and they can't just lay up with me and ignore their kids, their responsibilities at home.

Oh well.

I Know, But What Can I Say...

...all I can say is this...it has been rough.

There is a proper way to handle your business and I'm not the one to TELL some one how to do that. But I will try and give advice. Most people won't and don't take advice, I know I don't at some times. When things get to 'Cluster Fuck Mode', it's all hands on deck and some one has to take the blame. I learned how to take the blame...even though most times it isn't my fault. Taking blame, what, you can't kill me for it, so when no one claims it, I do. The reason? Because I am capable of making mistakes, and just maybe it WAS my mistake. Look at it this way... If you see some one doing something wrong, and if you dont step in to correct it...When everyone gets their ass chewed all together, step up and say, hey, it was my fault because in theory, it was. Because you didn't attempt to stop or correct what was doing wrong.

I like how I can throw an idea out there, and some one takes the credit for it.

If something we eat, falls on the ground, I would NEVER offer it to another person so that they can eat it.

Like I said, these last couple of weeks have been draining on the mind. Can't seem to make a decision on what direction I want to turn to. I can't make a choice, but... I am going to have to, don't want some one making the decision for me.

Friday

My co worker mentioned to me something that he saw on the news, I think it was what he heard on the radio on his drive in to work.

A woman, a Black young woman, who was babysitting was thrown off the public bus by the bus driver in the pouring rain. This morning, I heard it mentioned on the radio, so I did some checking up on it. The bus company is that of Rochester, NY, RTS. The woman had 2 small children, I think they said the kids were 1 year olds. The children and a stroller, she was having a hard time managing. Another rider got off the bus they were both on. He got off to HELP her on to another bus, the bus she was thrown off of. I don't know what was the problem. The woman offered to pay, and she did, for the man who helped her on the this bus. The fact that the bus wasn't the man's bus, but he was there to help her. The bus driver got angry, for what, I don't know and told her she had to leave. When she said she wasn't, because she said she didn't do anything wrong, the bus driver called the police. When the police came, they said that they have no say so in the matter and if the driver wants her off the bus, he has the authority to do so, and that they, the police are there to make sure it happens. WHAT THE FUCK??

It was raining so hard that in some parts of the city and the surrounding areas, power went out. It was rumored, that it was TWO tornadoes in the area. The same 2 that destroyed a town out in the Western part of the United States. So, this bus driver had that much POWER that he and other bus drivers can have passengers thrown off the bus? AND, the police have no say so in any of what was happening? Oh, I emailed my letters to the company and the Mayor of this city wanting to know what is being done about this.

Happy Father's Day

I am not a Father, though I wish I was. Guess it wasn't in the cards. But, I did and...lets say, I've have had the practice in. Ha Ha.

This morning I read an article in the newspaper. The write told of how and the local jail, which is a 10 storied building, how this guy was yelling from the window at his girlfriend/wife and his kids, 3 of them... Telling them to listen to their mother and to 'be' nice. A lot went through my head on those couple of paragraphs.

One, him yelling AT his kids FROM a jail cell, IN JAIL. If something isn't wrong with that picture. AND him telling his kids to listen to their mother and to BE nice. If..that just isn't right. This guy has no one else to blame, but himself really.

I told the writer in an email how I felt. I know my thoughts, put into words had me all over the place too. All I checked was my spelling, and thank God for Spell Check also.

I don't care what society says about single parent mother's on Father's Day. Ladies, you aren't your kids father, you are your kids MOTHER. I think that what's the problem is today. Women, trying and filling the shoes of these deadbeat ass men. But, I'm not blaming it on us men either, you women have a say so in it too. Have you ever heard of birth control. And that bullshit, 'oh, he loves me' crap isn't cutting it either. No ring on your finger, should me no kids!!

Damn women today, not all but some, saying..no, telling us men all kinds of bullshit, when you have 2 kids by 2 different guys. Telling me that they have had a tough time growing up, that they are looking and searching for that ONE man. Honey, 3 kids, by 3 different guys and no ring? That ship has sailed.

Some of you men...you lazy pieces of shit!! What you're doing is creating monsters of and for the future with these kids you abandon to be raised by JUST their mothers. Oh, you beat your chest and say.." I have a kid here, and one here, and another here. But I can't blame you or how you turned out, that shit is in your genes. Your mother's mother's mother...same thing, different time. Hey, say thing in my family..but you know what? My mother's kids, we broke the mold. No ring, no kids. As for the men in my family, oh we are picky when we choose a wife or what ever. Although I may sound like I'm a dog, I'm a Pure Bred.

And, the way...listen. At one time or another we all went to school and had the BASICS in school. The way some of these adults talk while trying to hold a conversation. I'm sorry that I even try and engage you in one because I'm left freaking confused as ever and off the topic we were discussing. I asked, can we talk regular talk and I get strange looks. Its not what I'm use to really and I'm lost in your translation. You would think I was talking to a teenager, a young adult, no. These ARE GROWN people my AGE!! AND some have the nerve to say I talk funny..me and my High School dropout, G.E.D. language. I may not no those 'big' words, and I paraphrase a lot, but to NORMAL everyday people, I get my point across.

Went to the library 1 block from where I live. This place is a..it's huge, with MANY activities going on in the building. More or less a community center. The library itself..is a playground!! Loud, noisy, no control, little children running up and down the isles. But you have to look at the people who are working there. After showing my ID for a library card, I asked about getting eBooks sent to my eReader. It was like I was speaking a different language all together. No, I didn't say my Smartphone lady, I said a eReader, a digital device to read books. None the less, she didn't know anything about them any way. Okay I asked about if there was a charge for printing, no there wasn't. She explained to me on 'how' to print from a computer, stopped her and told her I repair computers as a past time hobby. THAT upset her so much that she thought I was questioning her knowledge cause she DOES work in a library. HELLO, you don't even know about eReaders in this day and age of Tablets AND eReaders to warrant or EVEN think about looking it up online in front of that BIG ASS electronic thing called a computer. But no, you're busy updating you Facebook page, Liking and Commenting on STUPID SHIT!!

Oh, enjoy Father;s Day everyone.

Thursday...

On the 25th of June, I'm taking a trip back to The Bronx, and...

...my main reason for going is that on that night, at 7 pm, there is a Hip Hop celebration in Crotona Park in The Bronx. All the old school Rappers and people in the music business are suppose to show up. I hear a concert is going to happen. We will see.

Three days later, I will have had 3 months away from where I was born and raised. Bus leaves at 8 am and gets there at 3 pm. Returning, leaves at 11:30 pm and gets here at 4:55 am. 5 hours and 5 minutes later, I will have to be at work. SWEET!! No biggie, 6 hour bus ride and I will be sleeping all the way. What am I going to do in NYC?

I planned as much as I can to the last detail, but knowing me and NYC, things can change. I was going to get a motel room, but I know too many people other than family, that can and will put me up. But being away, even this short amount of time, people change. And sometimes it's for the worse. I'm going to stay with my ex/girlfriend, she is taking Thursday off, and is expecting m. She lives outside of NYC, about an hour away. Yes, I still need and want peace and quiet.

Thing is...all my plans will change if I meet this certain some one from my past, who I expect will be at this gatherng on Wednesday night. If that happens, things will for sure change. No matter what, I'm not missing bus bus, I am not calling out, missing a day from work. But, if she shows up, if I see her across the ay there... I'm homing in like a heat seeking missile. The last time I seen her was in the late 80's, but she is a friend of a friend and this friend isn't saying anything about her. To me that means that it is a surprise...for me. And, if that happens, I'm leaving with her and getting a room somewhere fast!!

There are people I want to meet up with a see my short time there, but...I don't know, they have to be available for me to see. Like family and friends. It seems that people are always too busy and not wanting to take the time, break their schedule. They aren't flexible.

Church, Slenderman

Okay where do I start. I will start with Slenderman.

I heard about what those 2 12 year olds did, and that's bad.Here is my say so on the matter....

They believed what they believed because they read it on the internet, or in some book. Most likely, it was the internet. Me, being an adult, there are things in this world that I can't to begin to explain. But what I heard a radio host explain, I feel the same way. A guy called in and said that there was not such thing as Slenderman, that it doesn't exists. Radio host ask him does he believe in God? Yes the call said. Radio guy asked, so have you seen him? Caller says no. Radio guy says, so how do you know he is real?

So, I ask this woman the same thing, but she said she has seen God..and Angels  and Demons. I think she was trying to seem like she was very Spiritual. She goes to Church all day on Sunday, Bible Study on Wednesday and Women's meeting on Saturday. So I say to her, so do you believe in Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny, she said no. I tell her the reason why she doesn't believe if them is because she hasn't seen them, but they exists. She tells me they don't. We could have went back and forth all day, but I gave up trying to see my side of things. I told her she can believe in what she wants, it's a free country. Next thing she says is that I need to seek God's help. Okay. Tonight I am going to Bible Study with her and I want to speak to her Pastor. I will see.

This is the same woman who gives most of her money to the Church and borrows money from me when she comes up short for rent. Same women who comes and borrow money from me when she is hungry or thirsty. The same woman who has no money, but works..when she can put gas in her car. But her Pastor is riding around in a new car, having his mortgage paid for and by the congregation of the church. Same woman who gives up her hard earned money to the Pastor when the church people want the Pastor to take his family out to dinner. But she goes hungry.


I'm not knocking The Church, I don't know what I'm saying. All I do know that certain people will believe what others tell them to believe in.

I Laughed..Really, I Did

One of my Army buddies posted on his Facebook timeline a picture of a Camero, he said he wanted one. I reminded him what he did to my car MANY years ago back at Idar-Oberstien, West Germany.

Ron had married a Germany woman, but not just any German woman mind you. She was and still is beautiful. Back then, 1977..oh my God. She was the model of all things beautiful. I think he knew that too. I was and still am happy for the two of them when they got together and married. Although they aren't married any longer, in my heart, they still are.

Ron, asked could he borrow my car to go home. He didn't live on post in The Housing Area, he lived down in the town. Since I had a car, a car I traded a guy, my stereo for his car...hey, it was a fair trade... I wasn't going any where, so I let Ron borrow it. He said he will return it in the morning. Morning came and I asked for my keys. He told me it went dead downtown, and he just left it there. One..my FIRST car ever, in a Country, Europe, West Germany, and he JUST LEAVES it there?!! WTF MAN. Being that it was a work day, and I was 'playing Soldier', I couldn't go and check on it until after 5 pm, which I did. It was taken to a junk yard and trashed. MY FIRST CAR!!

I look back at that moment now. You know what, I wasn't mad then, and I'm laughing about it now. See, The Army taught me what REAL friends are. Not like my so call friends I suppose I call them friends now. NONE of my civilian friends nearly froze to death with me on a training exercise in the middle of no where with mud up to our asses. None of my friends crossed the Rhine River AT NIGHT in a 13 ton tracked vehicle otherwise known as a Grunt Mobile. Knowing damn well our lives could have ended if for some reason the belige pumps had just decided NOT to keep doing their thing. Can't name a friend now, who would give me their last $20 so close to payday, and want back double ON payday and I was happy to pay what ever he ask for. Yep, no friends now who I..slept, shit, showered, shaved, cried and laughed with, told all my problems to cause I was so far from home and I wanted my 'mommy', but they understood. Where are the friends who took me under their wing, explained to me what life is really about, taught me how to deal and learn to live among just about anything, anyone I may come across in my PRESENT day life. Where are my friends HERE, who have compassion for your fellow HUMAN BEING, no where here.

What I learned from September 3, 1977, to March 15, 1980..EVERY young man at the age of 17 SHOULD learn, SHOULD experienced. That School, those teachers of the 2nd Bn 81sr F.A. taught me well. I am a product of that teaching. Though some today may not understand me or my way of thinking..but then again, they haven't had the schooling nor the teaching from the teachers I've learned from. Their mistake AND their lost.

You know what I say....'Oh well, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke'.

Okay..I Took a Chance..

...and went to this restaurant/club where all the good looking people seemed like where they would hang out.

The only reason why I went was because after driving by a couple of times, I have to admit, I like the way the people looked and dressed. It was after work corporate attire, nice dresses, and business suits. People where standing around talking, but most were sitting at tables outside ad inside. I was dressed nicely also. Non discript black sneakers, white t-shirt and a denim rolled up sleeve shirt, which was a button down. I felt comfortable, ready to mingle and have a good time. BOY did I have a good time.

Being this was my first time at this place AND this place has only been open for a couple of months... I guess it was still trying to find it's 'group' of people, it's 'regulars', or the 'look' they were going for. As soon as I stepped in the door I was approached by a VERY good looking woman. She could have stepped out of a model magazine. And yes I looked her from head to toe...starting with the eyes first. She said hi, and told me her name, asked me mines and what I do for a living. Michael, and I'm in the culinary field...great, she handed me a menu...she was the hostess. Steered me to a table not to order any food, but to go over the menu with her, she wanted MY opinion. For an hour we went over everything, then took me into the kitchen. Gave me her card and then told me that she knew I wasn't from around here. I asked how she knew this, and she said because I came in the door. Being I am Black, most Black people she said don't come in and she wondered why. I told her to just look around, everyone is in suits and business dresses. Told her she should let loose the dress code for a Saturday evening some what.

Offered me a drink, told her I don't drink and we continued to talk for a little while until she told me that she has to get back to work. But, she told me that she is going to leave me in the good hands of a good female friend of hers that she thinks that her and I will hit it off. My Spidey Senses we VERY active...until she bought her friend over. She was and is really a timid beautiful woman. I saw that she was nervous, being in a place such as this, so I took her to a quiet spot outside and we talked...for 2 hours. I could also tell she wanted to leave, but not to take me home, but to go home to her quiet place and I mentioned that to her. That she didn't have to feel obligated to keep me company. Asked me to walk her to her car, plenty of stares from people. She gave me her number and told me to call me when ever and that not to b a stranger, she feels comfortable around me and invited me to lunch at her place. She drove off, I went back inside. The hostess approached me 15 minutes later, and told me that her friend REALLY likes me and she wanted to know what I thought of her. Told her, and she said don't forget to keep your date for Sunday. I won't.

I'm out. Going for a 15 mile bike ride with a group of people with some Bike Club right now. Gonna take my time too.

Tuesday...

...is my Monday. On Mondays, which I love, I can't wait until I get to work. It's so that I can start the work week. But since I'm off on Mondays...Tuesdays are my favorite day of the week. Until...

We get our food order on Tuesdays. We can't really start doing any prep work or cooking until the truck makes it's delivery. Being that Monday was a holiday, I KNEW something was going to happen, and it did. Started with the driver texting one of the other cooks that the truck would be late, usually comes around 11 am, we start work at 10 am. Said the truck would be there at 11:45 am, that's REALLY late. 680 pounds, 15 cases of chicken breast have to be cleaned, cooked and sliced on Tuesday to assemble on Wednesday. Projected time we leave...9 pm. Truck didn't come until 1:45 pm  o.O

So, we looking at a time of leaving...around 10 10:30 pm, until it was suggested.. We just clean the chicken and be at work at 6am. 2 people come in at that time with me being one of them. The other 2 people come in at 10am. Sounds like a plan, right? Something is bound to NOT go right. Okay, we have to cook it, slice it AND assemble the meals, which I see is gonna take much more time. I do the slicing and the assembling of the food trays and if the other 2 people are coming in at 10am... I said have EVERYONE come in, but no, kids have to be seen off to school. That is why I say in this field you should be without children because we work as a team and if the team is ALL coming in at a certain time, everyone should.  It's ni biggie though, I will do what I can. If it means STILL assembling on a Saturday when we are putting the orders in boxes to be delivered and picked up, so be it. It's work, and that is what I do.

Sometimes, You Have to Let Them Know.

There are some people in this world that ONLY know how things are 'suppose' to go because they have ONLY read what they have read in BOOKS. Until you actually come face to face with the situation...LISTEN to the other voices in the room...then respond or act.

If a person brings you a product and that product seems to work for you, tell me why would you change the product TO something LESS. This happened 2 times and each time, I didn't like the product. I overheard the 'spiel', the 'game'...'the talk' and he fell for it. Proof came after the process and it came to me. I didn't like it across the board. Not only that, that isn't what you advertised either, that isn't or wasn't the same look that get the people to order it.  Though The Barker said whatever he had to say to talk you into buying it, I knew the 2nd time he came in that something was up. Hey, if I don't like it, they is a problem. Then again, it isn't my checkbook.

So, when the process came to do what we had to do, and you saw that it was the same, no, worst. You got VERY angry and upset, cursing. It's understandable too. But there was a way to take care of it. Maybe I got my poundage wrong too, and I admitted that. Then again, you have to have the proper tools to combat any situation. I let you figure it out because with you in ALL you glory of 23 years of age... I have been cooking before you have been born. Oh, but you say.."you sure had a lot of jobs', true that.  But you forget to mention about ALL the experience I got from ALL those jobs. You can't learn that in any Culinary School, and you sure can't PAY for it either.

See, some people think that when you actually cook the food, well to me... That when you actually cook the food, that is what matters. Some times that is true. I think its the 'plating' of the food. All you do is place raw food to a heat source add flavor and make sure you don't over cook it. Not unless you're gonna eat it from the pot you cook it in, it's presentation that what counts, the next step.  I worked in a place where we did 250 to 300 covers a night. I didn't cook the food, I 'presented' the food. Each plate looked exactly the same no matter what the dish was. It's an art, a skill to that. Though each plate is the same, yet they are all different.

Then, the so called...never mind, won't mentioned his title, but he said you were in charge of the Kitchen. Go ahead, I told you and the Owner that I didn't want to cook cause you can't afford me for the job title of Cook. Notice I didn't say Chef, a Cook, big difference. It's not that I don't want the responsibilities, it's just I would have any of the people that are in the kitchen now at the end of the week, all of you would be fired. The person you have doing 'side dishes, 'prep'. I told you, you have to show her how to use a knife, how to cut green red and yellow peppers. It does NOT take half an hour to cut 15 peppers, cause if it does and I was in charge, they wouldn't be in my kitchen.

There is a reason why you guys were hired. After a little over a month of me being with the company I see. Your labor is cheap. You have NO experience...NONE, but he 'gave' you a title in the kitchen. Only one person in the kitchen sat in on my interview with the Owner which it was suppose to be with The Marketing Manager. He was late, so The Owner interviewed me. One thing he told me in fron of his MM, was...'I want the experience that you have, I want that for my company.' THAT stayed in my head. In the short time I've been there, I talked a lot because what I do, 'assembly' of the meals, a monkey could do it, but I take pride in it. But, I took and have taken in the WHOLE operation. The changes that COULD be made. One, who starts a day at 10 am, in a KITCHEN? 10 am, hell, the day is over with. We can do this over night. But no, you all's night life comes into play, it messes with it. All of you are young in this field and that drinking at night conflicts with what you have to do at '10 am'. The job I had before, we did the same thing, Starting at 2am, 500 meals for lunch 'DAILY'. Then there was the other departments, breakfast and dinner, which were more. Can't believe that was done daily right? Asked, 'what, and who delivered?' ANOTHER team did the delivery...to Boston, Philadelphia, CT AND New York City. So, we were looking at at least 2,000 to 2,500 meals a day. Oh, not to mention the meals that were FedExpressed too, about 200 a day.

I'm not complaining, I just want to inform you. Because in my world of The Food Service Industry, the ONLY thing you're capable of doing right now so early in the game... is to wash MY pots & pans. Oh, and sweep & mop MY floors.

Like I said...sometimes you have to let them know.

A Graduate

I know in my past post I sort of...well I myself can't see the idea of me even going to college. My schooling was through Life Experiences. I wanted to get out there and see what life and where life would take me. I have had some weird & strange ass experiences. Those experiences come into my head every now and then and I am amazed that one, what the hell was I thinking. And 2, WTF, I'm still alive.

I've had the pleasure to work with this guy for a short month and a half. He graduated from college with a degree in Accounting. Believe me, I questioned our Educational Institution when I looked at this guy and he told me what his degree was for and in. But then I looked at the bigger picture.

For one, he is White. And yes, it does make a BIG difference today. I thought about this. 5 years from now he will be a mid level corporate accountant some where. Some one will be paying this guy to keep or audit their books, so he has to know his stuff. I say this because right now, I don't see that in him, but it's there. That 'sheepskin' proves it. With all the test he took over the years and then graduated, all it takes is an employer to give him just one chance, one shot to get his foot in the door. But I looked at it even in THE MORE BIGGER PICTURE.

Lets say 20 years for now, he is established and doing well in the company or a company he started himself. He will be 43 years old then. I will be 74 years old. I'm going to keep myself healthy and stay in shape because I may need his help in the future. Not with him giving m money, but with giving me work. I spoke with him on his graduation day. I told him that now is the time for him to get out there and prove not only to the world that he can make it, but to himself mainly. Because going through 4 years of college today isn't as easy as it was years ago. Also told him that NO job is too small. as long as the pay you just a little above the going average, start with that, work hard and earn more. Focus on work. Work hard, but get plenty of rest. Eat and sleep right. You don't have to be a party animal all the time, just 4 times a month if anything and for ONE day or night only. Never judge your co workers, they are part of a team that you are on. Sometimes you yourself may not want to be part of the team that day you're at work. Expect your teammates to feel the same way sometimes 2 days in a row, but no more. Not everyone can work as hard as you do, expect that, but it does come a time when ALL teammates will have to, and that sometimes can be twice a week, so expect that.

I told him I want his name and his email address before he leaves in July. He offered me his number, but I told him that people loose cell phones. I don't know if he has ever lost his, but I did lose my cell phone, just ONCE since they have been on the market. An email address is the best thing to have, one professional, one for friends, and a 'throw away' one. I use that one for porn only...so what. I told him I will be in touch with him over the years so choose an email address that you will give me and that you will always check at least every other day. ALWAYS answer your personal emails if it's just a line or two no matter what.

I did this back in 2005 with a co worker who was a cashier, who went away to college. Today, he lives in California making big bucks and every month he emails me VERY long personal emails. When he gt the job which was his first he told me he was afraid because he didn't know what to expect where he was going. I told him...'You went to school on the East Coast, and The West Coast wants you to work for them. They relocated you on their expense. Found you housing and you're worried. They are more so than you. They INVESTED in you, just do what they tell you to do, you have the basics cause you graduated
 from college. Now, you have to learn to do things THEIR way, I'm sure you can do that."

Okay, I'm tired, but no more coffee for me.

My Brain, Mind & Mouth...

...I'm having a hard time getting them to work all at the same time...well in order that is.

But, I think I figured out  solution. First I have to learn how all three of them work and then. I broke it sown. The brain is the car. The mind is the gas and the mouth is the destination. You have to hold the gas in something and that would be a car cause it has the gas tank. Gas in the car, gets you to your destination. Simple, right? Well sometimes not for me.

I might be going crazy, or I'm on the verge of being the smartest person in life. but my mouth doesn't quite well knows how to work with my mind. It's like getting into a car and wanting to be in 3 different places, or go to three different places all at the same time. What happens is that when you come to that junction that branches off into your 3 destinations you would like to go to, I just seem to keep going straight. Heading off to someplace else, which isn't a bad or good thing, its just a destination.

It's like I can hold a conversation with just about anyone on just about anything. I read and lsiten to talk radio a lot. So when that person brings up a subject, my mind knows, not the answer so to speak, but how to contribute to the conversation. But what happens with me is the words. In my mind I see and hear the word I want to use, but my mouth has a hard ass time pronouncing it. This, sort of...let's say I hear with my ears what the word I'm trying to say, but it doesn't sound right coming out of my mouth. And, when that happens, there is a slight pause, a stumble in the conversation on my part. Don't let the person I am having the conversation make any facial expressions, that throws me way the hell off.

I could just not say anything, don't contribute to any conversation when ask to voice my opinion, but that isn't like me. That would be like trying to stop the waves from crashing onto a beach. I'm not trying to prove how knowledgeable I am. I get a touch of excitement when some one talks about something I know just a little of.

Your Next Door Neighbors

I don't know if some people read the newspapers or even watch the news on TV. But there was something in both about this elderly woman who lived in her house.

For 6 years, I think it was that long, she was dead before anyone realized that she was dead in her own home. Mail kept being delivered, Rent or mortgage was being paid, until her funds ran out at the bank. But by then it was too late. No one, not even her family, her own sister checked up on her. Neighbors, yep she had them, but they paid her no attention. Which brings me to this...

Some people live in their own private world once they get behind their closed doors of their homes or apartments. You may see them in passing, and ONLY say the common greeting, Good Morning, etc. Other than that, we don't even matter to them. I rent a room out where I live. I can sleep through anything and anywhere, it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the woman who I rent the room from, has NO consideration for her neighbors on either side of her place where she RENTS the house. She doesn't even know if they own, or paying to own, rent their place. She BLASTS her music early on Saturday mornings as early as 7am. I spoke to her about this this morning, and she said this.

She said she has been living here for 9 years, and they should be use to it and besides its the Weekend. WTF!? I told her that she goes to bed at 8pm during the week so she is well rested for her nexts days work. What if during the Summer you next door neighbors decide to have a party during the weekday, wouldn't you be pisssed off if they were in their backyard raising hell at 11pm at night. She said yes. So, how do you think they feel with you raising hell early like this on Saturday morning. She said if they have a problem with it, they can come and knock on her door and tell her about it. This is the reason why I am MOVING THE FUCK OUT!!, and I told her so too.

I don't want her, my neighbors to think that I am part of that, this and it cause bad blood with me. To her it may not mean a thing to her, cause people who are inconsiderate of their neighbors feel like this. I told her that she doesn't make a good neighbor and that its a reflection on her and everyone that lives under her roof, meaning me. I also told her, that the people on our block, know how I am, they can see the way I come and go that I am a...well, a quite man. A man they would love to have rent a room in their home. I already have heard this from 3 of the people that live on the block. But, where I live, she doesn't care.

The people I work for are expanding the clients into Buffalo, NY and you know what that means, right. I already mentioned that the guy who delivers our product, home delivery is leaving in July, and who are the getting to make that 1 hour drive to Buffalo. They have a new van for the deliveries, which on Friday night the driver picks the van up and takes home. I already told them I would do it, and they said get your license then, no problem.

An Extra $300 and I...

...have this uncontrollable feeling to just go out and buy electronics.

Fired up the Chromebook and headed to Bestbuy.com. I know, right? Who shops at Bestbuy nowadays, I do!! Let me explain.  Since Bestbuy, (BB) , is actually a store, which has way too many employees working at any given time on the floor. It's always a good feeling walking in and see just what they have on display. But I notice something...and this is what cause me to spend 6 hours at this one store yesterday.

I went online to look for a Boombox that played cd, cd/rw's and cd/rw's mp3's. CD's, right? Who still uses them..me. And again mind you. Also, I needed cd/rw's too. Funny, when I ordered it, both items were available NOT in the SAME stores. A marketing ploy. Got an email that both items were ready to be picked up at their seperate stores. First store, 5 miles away. Me, with no car, but with a Smartphone in hand, tapped my app, Lyft. It's an app that I donated $25 to and I get 2 weeks worth of free cab rides. Basically, its $12.50 a week, if a cab is in my area. Hell, I tip the driver $5, so its a win, win for the both of us. I walked the 'lanes' of BB, just looking and seeing if they have new stuff, affordable new stuff that is...and that's when I met her.

She was looking at external hard drives and couldn't make up her mind, so I explained which ones dd what. But first I asked what she wanted to do with it, it's use. Just to back up her files, she is a photographer. More talking and she told me that she didn't know how to hook it up, but I told her I would show her. She had her laptop with her. She went to the car to get it..left me at the register with her credit card to pay for the external hard drive. Right there in the store, we found an outlet, which I think BB had an issue with us doing that. But I told them I wanted to see if it worked and I might upgrade to a Cloud hard drive. It worked great, but she wanted to know more about the Cloud hard drive, so I explained it. She wanted that one, took the one we had, placed back in box and got the Cloud off the shelf and pay for it. She thanked me for my help, gave me her name and number and told me to please stay in touch.

I'm walking around BB, taking notes on stuff I see. Writing down what I want to do with it if I were to purchase it. She comes walking back into the store as I was leaving. Told me she got a good vibe about me, something she hasn't felt in a long time, lets talk about anything I wanted to talk about. Right there in BB, in the video section, we grab some movies and sat down on the floor and starting talking about just about anything. After a while I told her that I had to go to another BB to pick up something I ordered online, she took me. Got what I wanted, and she took me to her home.

Now, nothing happened, though we both wanted it to...but we were having a good time just talking and I was floored by her home. Talk about this is how I want to live!! I mean the space, the greenery, the fresh air. Explained to her I was from The Bronx, and just moved here. We are talking, phone ringing all the time and after a while door bell rings. A bunch of her friends came over and were shocked that I was sitting on her floor in the living room. I mean, it got really quiet. She told them that she has company and could they all come back later. Guy tells, no asked me who I am. I told him I was his worst nightmare...with a smile. They left, and we continued talking.

Being that she is a Photographer, she showed me some of her cameras. NICE ones and said if I continue to be a gentleman, I might get to borrow one. Today she is dropping by the job to take some pictures and to see me. So, with an extra $300...

And You Think You Can Depend on SOME People

I am presently 8 hours from New York City, The Bronx, NY I moved here because I wanted to, I wanted to do something and be some where different. So, WHY did I think PEOPLE would or will change?

No, not the people here cause I don't know of that many. But I'm talking about the ones, the friends that I left in NYC. Okay, I asked this one woman who lives in The Bronx, but works for a certain college, to get me a baseball cap from there. She has been there for over 28 years, and I'm sure she cold find some beat up old one laying around somewhere. Not even that, I told her to get one, and I would pay for it when she has it. ,,,this was 3 FUCKING YEARS AGO!! No shit. 3 weeks ago she told me I have that cap you wanted. I text her my address. You know what she said? Oh I don't know if I am going by the Post Office. I did the next thing better. I got the largest bubble pack and place inside with the appropriate postage, another bubble pack with my return address on it. Simple right..APPARENTLY FUCKIN' NOT!! 'Oh, I don;t truct the mailboxes in my neighborhood'. God damn Cock Suckin' BITCH!! She got what I sent her along with $50, which was way more than the whole thing cost, it was for her troubles. It seems that that wasn't enough. I will see her on the 25th of June for my hat AND my money. But she wasn't in the same class, that class for stupid motherfuckers, cause she had a classmate.

Again 2 weeks ago, I called and ask another woman who is holding on to my Coast Guard Approves flotation Vest, Water Shoes and the MOST I ever paid for a pair of swimming trunks. Told her to go to the Post Office and look for the biggest box, which was $16.99 and place all 3 items in the box and mail it to me. She said you have to send me the money first, which I did, another 50 freakin' dollars. Last week I called her and ask did she send it, no. The Post Office is out of those boxes. Today I called her, did she get the box? Yes she did, but she was t=running around this past weekend. I asked what she did. She cleaned HER FUCKING APARTMENT !! What The Flying FUCK!!!! ARGGGGG!!!! Listen I am getting way to upset, can't go on any longer. Thsi is the same woman who called me and told me she THINKS, she left the pot on the stove on, could I go and check. Mind you, I was FOUR FUCKING HOURS away from her home. But I did go.

I've come to the understanding that some people are fucking lazy as fucks. I think being lazy is the lowest form of human life forms. We should just shoot lazy people in the freakin throat, put them out of their misery for the sake of all human kind. I mean, the're lazy, what are they good for. Hopefully before the Summer is over, I will get a couple of boxes sent to me...then again, maybe not. FUCK !!

I Can Hold a Decent Conversation....

...and at times, if you're a female, you would want to kill me. No for real, she would want to.

...see, cause all a female has to do is ask the man she is attracted to a couple of questions. The VERY first question should be, 'what is it that you want?' Now ladies, when you ask this question, try not to fly off the fuckin' hook when we answer, cause you did ask, right? Pay close attention to our answers. You shouldn't be judging on whether, you can 'get' what you want from this guy, or our answer, you should be seeing is it along the same vein as for what you're looking for in a man being your man. Cause face it, you're never gonna find that perfect man, he does NOT exist!!

Another issue... If the man you do have now, like he isn't doing, saying or even being the man you 'thought' he would be or can be... And, you decide to like break things off with him, does that mean that your female friends, are off limits to him? What's even stranger, I find that guys are feeling the same way about this also. If his girl breaks up with him, or the other way around, he says that she is off limits to all his guy friends too. I think that shit, both for the guy and the female is stupid, crazy and also childish.

I know this young guy, and I have to admit it, he has a HOT girlfriend. Just for the simple fact that she is 23 years old, she is so off limits to me that I don't even think...well, i do, but I try not to think about her. Whats so strange is this. She looks at me in a way like, 'oh wow. I'm only use to my man being this way, here you come along and you're opening my eyes.' Yes, she looks great from head to toe. Yes, she isn't Black. She is proud of her body cause she works out. Here is the thing. IF, they were to break up, would I say, no, I can't DO anything with you cause I do know your ex boyfriend...FUCK NO I WON'T! Because 1, she only broke up with you for the simple fact...be it whatever it may be, and you're, she probably get right back together again as a couple. Me personally, even if she was still going out with him, be it any female, who has a man, and she makes eyes like she wants to do something with me, I will pursue the issue. But I do take certain matters into consideration.

I thought it was only Black women who were only after men with money. Turns out that it doesn't matter what color the women are really. It's just now that I am seeing this because I'm associating with women who aren't Black. But some women, not all are like this. But I haven't seen any who are and that shit baffles me. Where are the women that are secure in themselves that they earn a living and there is more to life than acquiring 'things'. Looking for a man that will 'give' them things that they should otherwise be getting for themselves. The only thing that people should be searching for is having a good time, enjoying life, and meeting new people who are exciting no matter what way of life they are living. That they are where you are right now, doing things that you enjoy and living for the experience. Is that how the world is now, is that what's it all come down to? Let me see who can do for me, cause I don't want to do for myself?

So, people. Don't get upset with me because I come straight to the point. Don't get pissed off at me because I explain to you MY way of seeing and doing things. You do yours your way, and I do mine my way. And if some where along the way we do agree on something, lets take it from there and go further.

Okay... I Took a Chance Last Night

I've been waiting for the right chance and time to hit the night life here. I didn't know where I wanted to go, nor what I wanted to do. All I did know was that I wanted to be in a place where there was good music playing and good people enjoying it. I took into account of the assholes, the drunk asshole that could be present. I'm not mentioning names of these places...because, I just won't. First, I don't drink, not even sociably. I will sip a beer for like 5 hours if I have to. Only to wet my throat. I'm not on 'the hunt', being like that brings a Saturday Night Live skit to mind, so no, I'm not like that either. But I do seek woman who having a good time and are NOT drunk. First place I walked into, I was led by the hand to their table.

When I walked into this place I looked for the bar, somewhat crowded, but not too. Then I looked for the bathroom and the Fire Exits. Fire Exits, I ALWAYS seek those out, find them and lead those that are drunk to then in case of an emergency I always say. I got to the table and was offered a shot...of what, I don't know. I DO know, 30 seconds later I was wozy as all fuck. A table of 5 women, 2 weren't drinking and they started talking to me, knew right away that I wasn't from the area. How I know? I looked around on the walk to the table and I noticed I was the darkest person in the place. I wasn't put off by this at all, I enjoyed it. Not for the attention, but for that if anything did happen, I would be easily recognized, remembered. 'Well, it was The Black Guy for sure.'

One thing for sure, non drunk women here, I found out, are the ones who want to get laid, have sex. They are the ones who do the driving for their girlfriends who get so shit-faced, that they lose their mind. They are the baby sitters. Also, SHE told me so. Told me that if I hang with her as 'the babysitter', that at the end of the night we could REALLY get to know each other. But no, I was a a 'crawl', bar hopping as they call it. It was VERY early, say around 9pm and from what I could tell from outside on the streets, there were MANY bars. I stayed until 9:30 and bounced.

The next place I found was due to the lines and the way the people outside were dressed...the music blasting helped also. THIS was my place!! Trance, Electronic Dance Music, EDM...and the people 'head bobbing' in the line, I wanted in. I don't mind waiting in line, but I wanted in. Went straight to the front, sticking my hand out, with a $20 dollar bill secretly hidden, I shook his hand, it worked, he directed me in. I went straight to the dance floor. OMG!! I was there, I was home..I lost myself in the music. It was just me and the music for the next 2 hours, that was when I left the dance floor. I was all over it, from one end to the other JUST DANCING. No style, just what the music made me feel. This DJ, which I got to talk to and trade email addresses with...he KNOWS his stuff. There is an art to playing music like this and not many can do it. You have to be able to keep the dance floor full and keep the heads bobbing as he KNEW how to do. This one young lady, about 35, followed me where ever I went on the floor. I asked her name.

Not only did she give me her name, but her number too, and a ride home after we had a cup of coffee at some diner where we talked. Single, no children, says she has a nice home. I don't know if that was the 'window' for me, but I didn't want to take a chance. But we agreed to meet sometime during the week, after I call her on Sunday, meet during the week for dinner, some where quiet to talk. When she dropped me off, she said she wanted to know me for the simple fact on the way I was dancing, and that she kept seeing me all over the dance floor.

So, my first night out 'clubbing', was FUN!!

My Dream

I woke up last night as I do almost every night to go to the bathroom. But, it was what I was dreaming..before I woke up.

It started with me walking towards my mothers bedroom. In her bedroom, was her and my father. They were both sitting on cushions, in robes. Their hair was a blondish color, To the left of them, laying on the bed and part way under the covers...were them also. I looked back at my mother and she gave me that smile she has. She stood up and opened her arms to me. I stepped into a warm embraced. Although no words were spoken, it was like we were talking. I then said out loud, 'Mom, it's time for me to go'. I looked down at my father, and like him as in real life, he spoke no words...he was always the quiet one. I stepped out of the bedroom and started walking down the hall towards the living room. I notice on the floor, my mother's cat, Vee, shot right by me. She is a crazy car and always had the habit of just doing that. She ran past me into the living room. When I got to the living room, she was running around all over the furniture. She came to rest on the sofa, sat there and just looked at me. I woke up.

I layed there for a while to take in all that I dreamed. I then got up and went to the bathroom. Got back in the bed, and I started crying, no tears of sadness, but of Joy. I have 2 Angels looking down on me. I really believe this. and there is no doubt in my mind. I am ready to take anything and anyone on from here on out. NOTHING is too great for me. I believe, as I always have, that I can do anything. This dream only goes to prove it.

Soooooo...

...I met her yesterday for an expensive ass cup of coffee. I was impressed.

...and I told her so. How can she not be..have a man, boyfriend, even a husband. Nothing wrong with her after our 2 hour conversation. In fact, she invited me back to her place, but I had to turn her down. Tuesday's are really busy at work, and I can't be off my mark. Quite a bit of knife work going on. But Wednesday I am to meet her at her place, she is picking me up from work.

I'm Just Saying...

I make up my own mind and I deal with whatever that follows.

Some women aren't just right. I mean, they get what their hand calls for. I listen to everything that I'm told. Most of the times if shit don't apply to me, I pay it no mind, but I still listen. Talk this one woman I know here.

I told her, that I would move into her home inder one condition. That I am a 'roommate', who if you want to, we could have sex. Told her, I find her attractive and I could see myself having sex with her. But I am not your man, and if I feel that you're treating me as such, I will speak up about it.

Last week she told me her 29 year old daughter had her electricity turned off, didn't pay the bill. So, yesterday from no where, she approaches me and tells me that her electricity bill went up to $200 more than it normally is, this is because I am here. I told her that I will give her an extra $50 a week and left it at that. Straight off I felt she was lying. She must have forgot what she told me about her daughter. But I put an end to any further discussion of the subject with me saying I will give her an extra $50 a week.

This morning, she woke up after I did, and knocked on my door naked. I told her that I wasn't up to be making love to her any time soon. She wanted to know why, and I told her why. She says I am saying that she is a liar, yep, you are. That's it, I'm your roommate, and that's all. Once you start lying to me to get more money out of me, and further connections with me is OFF!!

Her daughter is running a line from her neighbor's apartment to supply her with lights. The thing that I don't understand is her daughter has this guy living with her and all he does is play video games and smoke weed all day long. No job, not looking for work. I don't understand that shit. But the daughter is quick to claim what she has and what she's doing...she's 'A Boss'. A Boss of what, your own destruction?

I already looked at 3 homes, 2 bedrooms for $650 a month. I dislike living by myself though. Rather have a female, who has her shit together, clean with a working shower to live with.

I Notice Some Things

I'm a true believer that if you talk things out with others, no matter what it is, you will always find a solution.

I know some people go with the...well, they just don't like putting their business out there. True, some things you want to keep to yourself. But I think that there isn't nothing on the earth that isn't too big of a problem to share with at least ONE person. Let me correct that, one breathing, alive person. You already, for some, give your worries to God. But a human being, I think, you may get the answers to your problems or questions.

Guy at work got got cheating on his girlfriend that he lives with. He had moved in with her. Another co worker female, took a liking to this guy, so they sarted going out. I always wondered why he was so quiet at work, played the strong...'Im crazy and I don't give a fuck atittude' type. It was only to impress her. Well his live in girlfriend got the mail one day and notice credit card statements for dinner, and a hotel room...on the day he says he was working late at the shop, the kitchen. Girlfriend had went all out for him too. Bought him clothes, leased a car for him. That day she showed up at the job, tow truck and all his clothes. Changed the locks and said its over. He quits the job right on the spot. Baffled the fuck out of me. He tells me afterwards, that he is like me, a Player.

Hold up.  Dude, I'm no Player. There is a BIG difference in what you did and who I am. Now the female co worker is NOW aware of what was going on with him. So I guess he quit because of getting cauggt, oh well.

But what got me highly fucked up... he quit and The Chef says I take over his position. Means more hours and responsibility, right? Okay on the hours part. But what did was his duties in the kitchen. He assmebled the food trays and every Tuesday, clean and cook off 6 cases of chickken breast. It takes him 6 hours to do that. Wanna know what I do? In a zip lock baggy, 1 cup of Quacker Oats, and a quarter cup of Chocolate Protien Whey....I do this 600 times. Then Corn Flakes in a baggy, 600 MORE times. Then I have to label covers, chicken, turkey, steak and fish..750 labels EACH. Then any other prep that needs done AND wash the pans and pots and whatever we use. I don't mind the washing though. Its the easiest thing to do when you have SCALDING ASS WATER!! I'm not complaining. I love my field of work. It's...

...there is a speed, a rhythm to a kitchen. Its established within the first 20 minutes when you walk in one. Turn music on, change your clothes into your uniform and set up your area. It does not take HOURS to do this. I don't care you went out drinking last night and you're hungover. Each person has a job to do, and we all depend on you being here READY and FIT to work. Gotta go, was just called into work.

Just Some Stuff

First of all, its Earth Day. Hug a tree and talk to the grass. Listen to what they are saying.

A female friend that I met under a year ago..she is finally not only getting honest with, but with herself too. She had every chance to meet me in person before I moved. But being like almost everyone else, she said she was always busy. This was even on mnay occasions we made plans to meet. At first I tool it personal, thought it was me. Then I thought, it couldn't be because she never met me face to face. Turns out it wasn't never about me at all. It's all her.

People can click in emails, text messages and even on the phone. But when one ask, 'when can I meet you in person', the other person...well. sweat runs down their back. Some people are self consious about the way others will look at them. Letters, text, emails and phone calls distant ourselfs from meeting people face to face. True, in those form of communications, it's easy to express yourself because the person whom you are talking to isn't right there in you face. But when it comes to asking for a face to face..something...'Im busy on that day'.

Well it turns out she wasn't and never have been busy. Shawn is 42 years old and lives by herself and she is lonely. So lonely that she thinks that marriage to a man will fix everything that is going downhill in her life. She works. This is her day. Wake up, get in her car, go to work, come home...repeat. thruought her working week, she comes in contact with maybe 7 people. By herself in her car,at work, one person whom she cares for and the back in her car to her apartment which she is the only one there. I told her, her next step is to buy a cat. Ditch the car, take public transportation. Don't go in the basement of your apartment to do you clothes, go to a laundry mat and do them. Go to places where people are. You're losibg contact with The Human Race, is what's happening.

She also told me about her sex issue. Which, I coudlnt believe. She told me what she wants and what she wants to feel. ...and love has NOTHING to do with it. Problem is, that she has been a Lone Wolf for so long, that she sort of lost the skill of making a man aware of that she is open to...well, you know. How do you lose the ability to do that? Oh. By being by yourself all the time. I spoke with her over the phone about this. From our conversation, she really have lost touch with connecting with men. Told her again, that is what happens when you ONLY look at men who fits acertain discription that YOU placed on yourself to meet.

But she isn't the only person who is like this. A lot of people are. They are so use to doing the same thing day in and day out. 'Oh, I do go out, what are you talking about?' The 'Night Out With The Girls', hell you can do that only so many times. And what, you go out to trash talk men in a GROUP!! Also, for what? Over priced watered down drinks, please.

Men, don't want to change any of the women that they are interested in. So why do women want to change the man that they are interested in LATER on as when they are in a relationship with? Explain that to me. What attracted you to me, you like, so now you want to... Not happening. Oh..'he has to have his own place, a car'. Its simple for me. All she has to have is a pulse.

Recently I spoke with a woman who said she wants to be with a real man, where are the real men at? But wait, she is in a relationship already. Does her man know she is unhappy with him, no. So she is out there looking for a new man WHILE she already has one at home. Yeah, like I'm falling for that. If you're doing it to him, you wll do it to me. Besides, you have 3 kids by different men, you don't need a man. You need a job.

Before You Execute, You MUST Plan

It happens with all of us, at some time we get that great idea. Something we think that no one has ever came up with the idea about. Some times it haunts us for years, but we never act on it. Then one day while we are watching TV, or are walking down an isle in a store... We see what we had vision...on the shelves...looking right at us...and some one comes along and not buy one, but four of them.

Since I was off yesterday, so that left me some time to meet with a woman, Kim in person. A single mother of 5, not working because she was taking care of a sick parent who recently passed away. Though she was gone from the workforce for only 6 to 8 months, she told me that that was a little too long for where we live at. Her position was filled and now she has to wait to get back into the company. But in the man time, she has options that she wants to look in and do. Restate, and her own line of T-shirts, and she has shoes, dresses for women also. Some of the dresses I saw on her Facebook page, before even meeting her in person, I wanted to see her in. And I promise that if she wore these 2 outfits out with me, I would buy them for her. She said she would. But I was more focus on the t-shirts, that I know a lot about.

I know the whole process of putting your line of t-shirts out. From the design, to cutting the screens, marketing, colors...all of that. I know what it cost, and it depends on how many you want out there the first time out. The only thing is...most people do it for the money. I do it for the art. She doing it for the money, and has NO money to even start. What makes matters worst.. She talks a good game plan, but has no art work. She was the one who came to me about it, also, where we were to meet too. So, if you knew this at least 2 weeks in advance, how come you didn't, don't have any art work to show me. Any way, I started making calls back down to New York City. Found out that I can get a small U Haul size truck of cases of blank t-shirts. Seems the place I went to in the past was happy to be doing business with me again. But I told them I was just checking out his prices since it's been a couple of years since I last ordered. Said he can give me the first 3 truck loads at the last price I got from him, love this guy. Later today after work, I'm going to a couple of art stores here and see what their supplies are like, to see if they have what I need. I would dislike to have to order from New York City, but then again the product would be something I'm use to.

Now about Kim. She said about 45 minutes into our first get together, that she would NEVER get with a cigarette smoker. I don't understand this in THIS day and age. But hear this..she DOES smoke weed. Told me she is going to stop smoking by August 15th. She has only been smoking for about 5 years and I told her, she hasn't been smoking if its only 5 years. Dark skinned beauty is what I called her. I'm 5'11", and she fits right underneath my chin with about an inch and a half of room to spare. She is into walking, and I guess she weighs about 120 pounds, nice thighs. She was wearing not sweatpants, but athletic pants that I swear...I'm going to put a picture with this post of what her butt looked like. Its not a picture of her, but it comes very close.

Her bottom was just a little smaller than the one above, but this is what it looked like...I swear. She also went on to say, with her in these pants, that she hasn't had sex in 5 years. It's not like she hasn't had offers, but after 5 kids, she said her 'cookie' is going to a man who earns it. That means to me, if your pockets are phat, then maybe... I wanted to comment on what she said, but its her body and her mouth and she has every right to set a standard. But I did tell her about The Man up above, and she did catch on to what I was saying. 'If you think that your body will get you what you want, why not go all out then? Its what's in your heart because The man up there knows, and He isn't going to let you go forward if you don't at least meet Him half way. You focusing on what another man can do for you, will have very few willing to do for you if you're not at least trying to do for yourself. 5 kids, different father, who wants an already made family in this day and age, times are hard as you can see.' I saw that look in her eyes, and she understood. Plus I told her, I smoke cigarettes, so you can't have none of me, so stop begging.

We sat there for over 3 hours talking about everything about each other. True, I would love to see her naked, I'm STILL a man, but for now she will be a friend. But she knows. She gave me about 3 hugs before we parted and I told her damn, what are you trying to do, pickpocket me? She said no, from the first time we met, after the handshake, we hugged, and I got this feeling when I hugged you. So these 3 more hugs were to see if I got the same feeling, which I did. I asked what was the feeling. She said I'm not going to lie, what it would feel like you holding me with no clothes on. I ask did she really want to know, all she has to do is call me. She then gave me her home number and told me to call her later on that night. I did, and she asked me how would I get out to her place and did I have a bike. I told her no, but it's arriving in the mail this week and to hold on to that feeling. Said she will and can't wait.

Friends first and then...

One of he Qualities I NEED In a Woman Is...

...she has to be well organized. It's like this, I am well organized. So, if we are living together, she should be too.

I know woman like to handle their own business the way they want to, but.. It irks me when they ask my opinion about certain matters, and then they continue to do it their won way that they are used to doing. Then when she can't find something, she expects me to KNOW where it is.

Another thing, screen names and passwords. Okay you have a computer, Smartphone and a tablet. You sign up for things that I think are a waste of time. You set up email accounts all over the place. I know you're not suppose to use the same screen name, and passwords for all the websites that you belong to require that you have then. This is where a notebook comes in hand. Write that shit down so that it will always be there. This woman I know can't get into her expansive ass Mac desktop cause she can't remember her account screen name or password. Funny thing is she bought it from a computer guy who she STILL owes $200 to. She called him and I know the deal, cause I was just hearing her side of the conversation. When she got off the phone, I asked how much you owe him. She asked how did I know this, I said cause you were laughing and you said that you don't know what time you will be home tomorrow. You told him you have a lot to do on Saturday, which you DON"T. See, it's the bullshit.

She is off all the next week cause the school are closed. She has a big as house, with boxes of stuff all over the place. Those big ass containers you find in Walmart...about 30 of them all over the house. They are use to hold her clothes in that she wears. They aren't folded, just thrown in. Nasty. Now she says she is going to go thru the whole house while she is off next week, I told her good luck. She said, oh you're helping me. NO THE FUCK I AIN"T!!! That's your shit, you choose to live like a bum in your own home, that's on you. I wasn't raised to help a person to clean up their own shit. When next week comes, she isn't doing anything that she said she was going to do.

I met a 40 year old woman here. Kim. She has 5 kids, looks good for her age, nice and slim. No car, nice home. And is very freaky. Problem is...she is like Ralph Cradam, Jackie Gleason from The Honeymooners. Always coming up with some get rich quick scheme. From selling clothes, to cell phones and magazine subscriptions. I told her, that's you, do you, but I think you should get a 9 - 5 also. She was a CNA, but from she said, she didn't like doing that. I guess she lives at home with her mother, it's her house? Cause with no income, how are you paying the rent? Like I haven't been in any of the rooms except the living room, so eldely mother is either upstairs some where or down in the basement. She is living off her mother and collecting Public Assistance? I don't know. But I told her this. All I want you for is to drop by when ever you want me to, sex and we go out and do things, she agreed. But I refuse to invest, give lend you ANY money for you ge rich schemes, that isn't me.

Until I find 'her', I will deal with this for now. I know one thing though. The woman I'm living with better get organized this week, or I'm looking for a room to rent. I can't live in clutter.

Just Sitting There...

...minding my own business in her home. Her home phone is ram through her cable company, so Caller ID came on the TV. A 216 area code. I asked did she knew anyone in that area code, no. But she answered anyway. I don't know if she was showing off, but apparently the guy on the phone asked her did she own a car and did she know how o drive. Then she started laughing so hard, she started crying. Then, told the guy that she didn't drive, she flew. Apparently he made another joke cause she started laughing even harder. Total time on phone, 5 minutes.

I tried to explain to her that she shouldn't answer any phone calls from any area code that she doesn't know either one, the caller, and two, she doesn't know where the area code is. But she got really upset with me, telling me that her cable company doesn't charge her for long distance calls. I told her if the call, once you answer it charges you initially $30 to answer and then $9 for every minute, your cable company has NO say so about the charges. You ANSWERED the phone. She kept on about not being charged, so I Googled the number for her, and showed her the results. Then she got really angry, wouldn't talk to me.

Only goes to prove, you laugh now, and the cry later.

???!!!

I just got a text, she told me that her son had got married. I said to myself, well at least he did the right thing. Has a boy and a girl by one woman, girl. And has another child that is less than a year old by some other girl. Did he marry any of those two, no!!

He went and married some other girl who has 3 children already by different guys. I mean, when will this type of madness end? It's not even funny any more. He's 25 years old, no job, how will he support his wife and the kids? But I guess he isn't worried about that. I wonder what his other child's MOTHERS have to say. I know for a fact that he wasn't doing or giving anything to them.

Was talking with a female friend on the phone. And all she could say, all that was coming out of her mouth was that she wanted to marry me for my benefits. Every time she mentioned that, she would then say I was just joking. I had enough and told her something that she needed to hear.  I said...

'You're a 41 year old single parent with 2 children by 2 different guys. Why would I want you for anything else other than just to sleep with you. I'm a catch, I'm single, able to work and in good health. What do you have other than your body, what can you bring to the table? You really think I want to support another man's children? You think that IF, I was to marry you, I would feel comfortable when the child's farthers want to stop by for..so they say to see their kids? Have they been doing that of lately?

I Think..

...I found the female me!!

She was raised as an Army Brat. Her father was stationed with the same division I was in. Their housing was in the housing area that my Post was at. Thing is she was there many years, 6 years later. She just turned 43 years old the other day, and yes, I met her online.

Turns out she is living right outside of Ft Bragg. Two children, and is involved with a soldier that is married and has been for 2 years. Thing is she knew him before he gt married and decided to continue their relationship even though he IS married. She text me the other day how she is home on her birthday with no plans and that who she wants to be with, who shares the same day as her as a birthday, was home with his wife. I told her that she wasn't getting any Birthday Nooky and it went on from there.

She asked what was I doing that night, and if I was getting any, she wanted to know everything. Every thing meaning what I did to lead up to it and what I did to her. The next day I gave her what she wanted in an email. She text back that I have to come to North Carolina and see her. Told me I got her all hot and stuff.

Today she sent an email saying what she wanted done to her...VERY graphic. Then she asked for 2 pictures. I would only send if she sends some back too. I sent any way. Next text was...then she called me. Told me it was photoshopped. Why thank you, but no.

She told me that next month she is moving back to Atlanta, and she wants me to be there with her. I have to think about it.